Under the Scalpel 11.05.09: Three 6 Mafia, A Day To Remember, Charlie Mars Band, Mudvayne

Posted by Mark Ingoldsby on 11.05.2009

Three 6 Mafia steals from an old playground rhyme to please their record label, A Day To Remember blends several different styles into one powerful modern rock single, Charlie Mars is not a Sith Lord, and Mudvayne can't turn back the clock. Plus, another first anniversary celebration for Under The Scalpel! Brought to you by the sometimes humorous, always heartless guitarist from the hard rock band A Simple Complex.

"Under the Scalpel: Dissecting Pop Culture One Song at a Time" is a weekly column written by Mark Ingoldsby, songwriter and guitarist for the hard rock band A Simple Complex. Follow the band on Twitter during our hibernation to get access to brand new recordings and plenty of entertaining quotes from our many wild interviews.

Three 6 Mafia – Shake My
Miss Susie Had A Steamboat



Even horrorcore rappers who promote misogynistic violence have a danceable, comical, fun side – especially when their record company tells them they do.

Three 6 Mafia's "Shake My" aims to recapture the success the group had when they took a break from writing their usual lyrics about "taking my fist and beat[ing] these bitches badly." In 2005, their club jams "Stay Fly" and "Poppin' My Collar" became the Mafia's first two Billboard Hot 100 hits, and their album Most Known Unknown sold over two and a half million copies.

Last 2 Walk, the group's follow-up album, was described by critics as a return to the group's violent, gangsta roots. This "vintage Three 6 Mafia" album designed to "satisfy longtime Three 6 fans" sold less than one-eighth the amount of copies as its predecessor.

Of course Sony Records, their label, noticed. So when it came time to discuss the next album, the true don of this Mafia – better known as Sony's A&R – set the boys straight.

"With Sony, we have like a 50/50 relationship over there," rapper Juicy J told hiphodx.com, "They come in with their ideas. We come in with our ideas… The [new] album is still gangsta – and we have a few different-sounding tracks on there for some of our newer fans."

Here is how I envision the Mafia's meeting with Sony about their upcoming album:

Juicy J: "I've come with my idea. We'll write 20 more gangsta songs about beating up women."

Sony: "We've come with our idea. Go buy a pre-packaged song from a big name beatmaker, make it a huge club hit, and sell two million records. Or we'll drop your woman-beater-wannabe asses."

"Shake My," the band's first single from their upcoming album, is a mainstream, rump-grinding, club banger that aims to please the band's "newer fans." The track revolves heavily around its catchy hook sung by guest vocalist Kalenna.

There has been a lot of confusion and debate on the Internet as to exactly what Kalenna is singing (go to any lyrics website and this song is completely wrong), so let me clear it up.

The Mafia ripped-off the old schoolyard rhyme "Hello Operator." They basically stole the line "Miss Susie sat upon it and cut her big fat ass..k me no more questions, tell me no more lies…" Note that the word "ass" finishes the first clause, but morphs into "ask" as it starts the second one. "Shake My" does the exact same thing.

"I come to shake my ass..k me anything I'm-a keep it real, oh,
Just wanna shake my ass..k me what I drink 'cuz I'm on to you, oh, oh,
So can I shake my ass..k why I shake, make 'em sing sing on the floor,
In the bang, with the bomb, with the bomb."

The confusion about what Kalenna is singing stems from her delivery of the word "ask." She uses the classic ebonics version of the word – "aks." This mispronunciation has resulted in people arguing that the ‘real' lyrics are anything from "shake my axe" to "shake my eggs."

Kalenna's misheard lyrics, however, are only the beginning of this song's problems. When the rappers kick in, the song becomes almost completely incomprehensible.

Perhaps Mafia rappers Juicy J and DJ Paul hated releasing another song that doesn't include lines like "push her head into the wall until you hear that cracking sound." Or, maybe they just aren't so good with the English language. Either way, I could barely tell what these mushmouths were saying. With their incessant mumbled shouting, the rapping in "Shake My" sounds more like a pack of enraged winos fresh out of booze than successful recording artists.

What few lines I could decipher outright sucked. In the first verse, I was able to extract "snatching up tail like a old mouse trap." Fair enough. But I also was able to make out the line "tap tap tap to the pretty li'l gap." Pretty li'l gap? Now that's an awful lyric. I also plucked out the phrase "back it up like she being kidnapped." Well, once a woman-terrorizing sociopath…

Later we are treated to a list of what one of the rappers likes. Let's take note:

• Women
  
• Skanks (in addition to women?)
  
• Cars with that candy paint and an iced-out booty with an iced-out paint
  
• Girls with their goody-good-good (in addition to women and skanks?)
  
• Wood peckers peckin' on his woody-wood-wood

My, that's fascinating.

With the exception of the words "jock strap" and a corny comparison of one rapper's penis to a "banana clip," I wasn't able to figure out much else of the song's lyrics. And frankly, I don't really want to know them. It's a tough code to crack, and it's not worth cracking.

The music of "Shake My," on the other hand, is actually pretty good. Its combination of thumping bass, electronic boops, and hand claps assembled by award-winning writer/producer Rodney Jerkins is clearly responsible for the song's climb up Billboard's Hot 100. The other strength of "Shake My" is Kalenna's voice, which combines a sassy mix of swagger and soul. The rest of this song, the parts that involve the actual members of this group, is total shit.

If you can shut your brain off and ignore the garbage rapping and nonsense lyrics, "Shake My" can be enjoyed on a "so drunk I'll dance to anything" level.

In other words, Kalenna's voice combined with Rodney Jerkins' pre-assembled groove is great for shaking your "aks" me what I think and I'll tell you Three 6 Mafia's involvement in this song ruins it.

Rating: ** (2 out of 5)
If You Like: Black Eyed Peas, Outkast

Hat Trick: Three quickies for the man on the go!

A Day To Remember – The Downfall Of Us All
A Day To Remember's song "The Downfall Of Us All" blends several different styles into one powerful modern rock single. It kicks off with an a cappella intro similar to the beginning of "Hooked On A Feeling." But instead of shouting "Hooga Chucka," these guys yell "Duh-duh-duh-duh's" like Beavis and Butthead used to do mouthing along to their favorite guitar licks. The singer lets out a powerful "Let's go!" which cues the band to explode into thundering metal riffage and hammering hardcore percussion. Shortly afterward, the song pulls an unexpected 90-degree turn into pop-punk, complete with Blink 182-style vocal harmonies. As the song continues, the band repeatedly drops back into death metal for a few seconds, but always returns quickly back into balls-out emo rock. About two-thirds into it, the drums and bass stop completely and the song becomes straight-up pop rock – complete with Hall And Oates hand clapping. The track ends with an uproarious mob chant of the song title shouted over death metal guitars and a very slow hardcore beat. The lyrics of "Downfall" are directed at somebody from the singer's hometown. Recounting his decision to not live out his life in that dead-end town, the vocalist explains how he instead chose to pursue success on the road with his band and never return.

"I sold my soul to the open road,
I live my life alone…
I did the best that I could to try to write you songs,
Now go tell them we sold out…
I'm leaving and not coming back,
You're right and I was wrong,
This town will be the downfall of us all.

The song may be all over the place musically, but somehow it still flows very well. It's worth adding to your hard rock playlist.

Rating: **** (4 out of 5)
If You Like: ALL, Blink 182 (older/heavier tracks), Funeral For A Friend, InMe, Senses Fail

Charlie Mars Band – Listen To The Darkside
At first I thought singer-songwriter Charlie Mars was writing about a Sith Lord. Sadly, I discovered the force is not strong with him. Instead, Mars is talking about the classic 1970s album Dark Side Of The Moon. In "Listen To The Darkside," Mars spends the bulk of his time complimenting a girl named Abigail who is having a rough day. He suggests that she recover from the bad day by getting stoned with him to Pink Floyd. No word on if he plans to sync it to The Wizard Of Oz. Musically, I found the track enjoyable with its laid-back guitar, organ, and piano licks floating delicately over a perky bass line and mellow percussion. But its simplistic, pandering lyrics about how Abigail should get toasted with him didn't impress me, probably somewhat due to my personal anti-drug stance. You can add one star to my rating below if you burn the doobage. On a side note, fans of Mary-Louise Parker will want to watch the song's video. Parker is seen walking aimlessly around a city until Mars shows up with a rose. That's when the needle hits the vinyl, the paper hits the tongue (not shown), and her hands end up all over him.

Rating: *** (3 out of 5)
If You Like: David Gray, Jack Johnson, Jason Mraz (mellow tracks), John Mayer

Mudvayne – Beautiful And Strange
Mudvayne's "Dig" is arguably one of the best metal songs ever written. The band originally generated a huge following by offering heavy, complex music put forth in simple-to-follow songs. (Simple, yet complex? Hmmm... I think there might be a good name for a band in there somewhere.) Odd time signatures were still easy to headbang along to while intricate riffs and difficult rhythms were impressive, and not indigestible. Over time, as the band gained success with the rock crowds, their music became more simplistic until they had evolved into just another heavy rock band (see "Dull Boy" and "Do What You Do"). Everything they are truly capable of was tossed aside for guaranteed radio play. With their new song "Beautiful And Strange," Mudvayne strives to return to their sophisticated roots, embracing odd time signatures, thrash beats, and lightning-fast riffs once again. But sadly, "Beautiful" can't compare to the greatness of their earliest offerings. Sure this song has a heavy-ass riff, but it's a lame one. Yeah, the drums offer some thrash beats, but they're very run-of-the-mill. And okay, we've got some parts that incorporate an odd time signature, but I don't find myself wanting to rock out. I hate to say it, but I think the Mudvayne that true metal fans once admired is only good at making standardized, heavy rock songs these days. This attempt to turn back the clock doesn't have the same magic. So ignore this track and crack open your copy of LD50. And accept that those days are probably history.

Rating: ** (2 out of 5)
If You Like: Mushroomhead, Slipknot

First Anniversary

Last week marked the first anniversary of Under The Scalpel. I posted ten of my favorite excerpts from the last year of my columns. This week, let's continue dancing in the dark, walking through the park, and reminiscing.

11. U2 – Get On Your Boots

Some fans are comparing the band's new experimental pop song to the redefining, breakthrough album Acthung Baby (think "Zoo Station" and "The Fly") while others are quick to liken it to their more embarrassing, gay bathhouse era albums, Zooropa and Pop (think "Lemon" and "Discothèque").

12. Flo Rida – Right Round

I hope some money is heading to the Dead or Alive crew because, let's face it – androgynous, plastic-surgeon-suing, husband-divorcing, civil-union-bashing, sex-tape-releasing new wave/disco has-beens with big, hairy cracks need money too!

13. The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart – Everything With You

This axiom was well documented in a Journal of the American Mathematical Society from 1990 as follows:

Spandex + Teased Hair + Makeup = Manly and Cool
Striped Shirt + Mushroom Hair + Makeup = Wussy and Not Cool
So therefore we deduce:
Spandex + Teased Hair + Makeup > Striped Shirt + Mushroom Hair + Makeup

14. GS Boyz – Stanky Legg

I swear if I have to sit through "Mony Mony," "I Will Survive," and "YMCA" one more time, I'm going to hang a DJ from a disco ball with a makeshift speaker-wire noose.

15. 50 Cent – I Get It In

And [50 Cent] has publicly questioned West's sexuality with terms like "try-sexual" and "sensitive." This coming from a man who says "Em choo-choo?"

16. Morrissey – I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris

Moz [practically nude on the cover of this single] looks like that over-zealous, freshly-released-from-prison uncle who always offers his house as an easy place to crash. It's like the last thing you might see shortly after Uncle Moz and a few of his buddies have slipped you a roofie.

17. Soulja Boy Tell Em – Turn My Swag On

I find myself squeezing my skull at the ear cavities as [Soulja] painstakingly details the humdrum events of his typical day... If I wanted to hear someone brag about getting dressed, then watch him brush his teeth and eat cereal, I'd get a job as a special needs counselor.

18. Lamb Of God – Set To Fail

For some reason, Planet Fitness seems to think music from artists like Coldplay and Taylor Swift are going to help me get pumped at the gym. That's why an mp3 player and headphones are mandatory equipment when working out in their facilities – to avoid being lulled to sleep on the bench, and accidentally allowing a couple hundred pounds to slam down onto your chest.

19. Seether – Careless Whisper

Luckily for Seether, most of their fans won't even realize that this is a cover song because they were still sucking their thumbs back when George Michael was still s...aying that he was straight.

20. Pleasure P – Boyfriend #2

Heck, [P] even offers to put his hands up and lay back while you "do" him. Will this man stop at nothing to please another guy's woman?

Next week, part three of three.