Quick ‘n’ Dirty Music News: 11.19.09

Posted by Mitch Michaels on 11.20.2009

Janet Jackson loves Michael to death, Amy Winehouse’s new boobs, Taylor Swift greeting cards, DJ AM’s shoes, Lil Wayne’s baby mamas and more, plus Leona Lewis vs. Ashley Tisdale in Battle of the Babes, Thanksgiving Songs, chart news and Meital Dohan is your sexy Israeli Piece of the Week!

You didn't have to love me, but you did, but you did, but you did – and I thank you.

Thanks for clicking on to the QnD this week, your weekly dose of all that is ridiculous in the music world. I'm Mitch Michaels, with you on that last weekend before Thanksgiving. This time next week, you'll be bloated from turkey and mashed potatoes, comatose on your mother's couch while she and your aunt and grandmother beat the pavement looking for a three dollar off sale on an ESPN Trivia game to give your uncle that no one gives a shit about anyway.

Sound about right?

Me, I've gotten a jumpstart on the festivities, as we just had our Thanksgiving potluck at the 411 offices yesterday. As always, the MMA zone guys got into a fight with the Wrestling zone guys that ended with a trip to the hospital and Ashish swearing that next year he'd be giving us health benefits. Yeah right – how does that help Larry get his sight back???

The Music Zone did provide a nice playlist this year though, even if we did forget the yams.

Only one contest to pimp this week – we're giving away a copy of the Katy Perry MTV Unplugged CD/DVD. I'm not going to sit here and say that Katy's episode of "Unplugged" is anywhere near the milestone that Nirvana was, or Jay-Z, or Alice In Chains, or Oasis. But – it's Katy! Contest ended officially yesterday, but you know the drill – I never pick winners on time. Hurry up and enter here.

Also, we are rolling on with the Top 100 Songs of the 2000's feature. Like I said last week, I think we've put together an awesome list. Keep your eyes open next Wednesday for #60-41.

And as always, make sure to follow us on Twitter (Mitch, 411mania, 411 Music) or Facebook (Mitch, 411mania).

Now, let's get to it. It's quick, it's dirty, it's news.

Let's go…



STAND BY…FOR NEWS!

All news items are from 411 Music's newswire:

Well, it's official. I mean, I guess it has ALWAYS been official, but this week it became more than obvious – the Jackson family is now using Michael Jackson's death as a way to promote their shit. And yeah, I realize Joe has been doing that since before the funeral even (the first funeral), but you expect it from him. Now, it looks like Janet Jackson has joined the fray.

See, Janet has a new album out this week. It's a hits compilation called Number Ones. If that title sounds familiar, it's because they used the same title for Michael's last hits set – the one that sold like hotcakes in the weeks after he died. (And if you want to further my conspiracy theory on the name, realize this – the album is called Best Of in other countries. Original title much?)

Janet has been hyping us for her Number Ones since September. See, at the VMAs, she opened the show with a loving dance tribute to her late brother. The next day (with her name back in people's minds), she released the new single from Number Ones - "Make Me".

Now, just having a hits set with a new single out is far from enough to get attention these days. Hell, just ask Michael (after you die – if you were a kid toucher): his Number Ones did fuck-all until he started taking a dirt nap. The new single didn't even come close to cracking the Top 40.

But Janet has an ace in the hole – everybody wants to hear about her dead brother. So that's what she's giving them. As she's talking about her new album, of course.

Maybe it wouldn't be so disgusting if Janet weren't out there furthering the notion that Michael's death was not his own fault. Janet appeared on ABC yesterday and talked about how she felt Dr. Conrad Murray – the cardiologist who hooked Michael up with the Propofol that killed him – was completely to blame.

In the interview, Janet says she hopes Dr. Murray is never allowed to practice medicine again to keep other people from becoming his victims. I guess the guy is this decade's Jack Kevorkian now?

She also claimed that she didn't know he was using Propofol, but Janet at least admitted that Michael was a junkie that needed help in the interview, saying the Jacksons had tried to hold several interventions to get him off of drugs. She said, obviously, they were unsuccessful.

Hell, no wonder. With all the Jacksons in my house, I'd be more worried about hiding my wallet and silverware than what they were saying.

Janet – after distancing yourself from your scumbag family all of these years, it's kind of sad that you turned out no better than the rest of them. You can go on TV and cry and point fingers, but at the end of the day, Michael died five months ago and you're just trying to sell records.

Meanwhile, King Dirtbag Joe Jackson – aka Michael's loving father – is in denial about not getting a piece of the big Michael estate pie. Joe was trying to get himself an allowance like mom Katherine is hooked up with and his route to this was casting doubt on Michael's will, which he says was forged. Joe was hoping to wrestle the executor position away from John Branca and John McClain – the two men named in the will – and bring it back to the family. A judge saw Joe's suit, laughed and wiped his ass with it. Never one to say die, Joe has re-filed.

And while this is going on, Katherine Jackson and her new piece of shit lawyer have more or less come out and stated that they'd like to sue Dr. Murray for wrongful death, but the guy doesn't have any money to actually take so they probably won't.

Yet, Murray is claiming that he's owed $300,000 from AEG Live, who hired him to be Michael's personal physician during the "This Is It" rehearsals. AEG says bullshit, they didn't sign any papers, which means this could be headed to court.

And if it DOES go to court and Murray wins, Katherine will then sue him and take the three hundred grand.

Dr. Murray – why are you putting up with this? There's no way out of this one and the Jackson's have Michael's ENTIRE estate to lawyer you to death for the rest of your life. I think it's time you took a nice, long, self-prescribed Propofol nap. Things can only get better.

It sure sounds like Michael Jackson's estate is keeping the entire Los Angeles County legal community afloat, doesn't it? And you don't know the half of it!

A London law firm is suing Michael's estate, saying he owes them nearly two hundred grand for legal services from when the King of Bahrain sued him a few years ago. A photographer is suing Michael's ex-wife Debbie, saying she lied to police about an assault a few years ago, and a merchandising firm is suing a bunch of other merchandising firms for millions saying they own exclusive rights to Michael's likeness.

Meanwhile, Antonio Banderas is still secretly strengthening his own case for the custody suit for Michael's alleged third child Blanket.

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Let's see what else is going on…

Amy Winehouse was rushed to the hospital earlier this week for what was originally thought to be side effects from mixing her prescriptions. Her dad later came out and said it was because her new breast implants were leaking. Why didn't someone tell Amy you're not supposed to inject heroine into breast implants for the first 90 days??

Remember when the guy who worked for Will.I.Am punched that queer Perez Hilton a few months ago and made him go cry on Twitter and stuff? Well, Perez actually dropped the criminal charges against him this week, after the dude (Liborio Molina – the BEP's manager), made this public apology as part of a settlement:

I apologize for what I did on June 22 of 2009, even though you engaged in highly offensive comments, including a homophobic slur to my clients, I acknowledge that these kinds of issues should not be resolved through a physical response.

If they are opening a worst apologies Hall of Fame, this is a first ballot entry. It's tantamount to Chris Brown saying "I'm sorry I hit Rihanna, but she deserved it." Molina also has to not carry a gun for a year, donate some chump change and keep away from Perez. Interestingly enough, a civil claim is still pending. That crafty little bitch!

And calling someone a faggot is not a "homophobic" slur. I'm pretty sure Perez was not afraid of Will.i.am (not before he got punked by Molina, anyway). Why can't we call it a sexual slur? Hell, with Perez it may even be a term of endearment.

DJ AM's estate is auctioning off several pairs of his sneakers on eBay to raise money for a memorial fund that helps addicts. Some have already went for over a thousand dollars. The irony is that's enough to buy 10 grams, while you won't even be able to get a gram after pawning them next week.

Chris Brown showed up at L.A.'s Cleveland High School this week to participate in a celebrity basketball game. Despite his recent problems, Brown was greeted by several screaming, enthusiastic girls. In related news, the CHS girl's basketball team was forced to cancel their game this week after a majority of the team was shelved due to injury.

R&B singer Nivea gave birth to Lil Wayne's fourth child this week and his second in just as many months. Here's the last couple of women that let Lil Wayne raw dog them. That we know of.




That's actress Lauren London and Nivea. I can't say I blame him.

Even though the band has been saying this for months, it was finally announced this week that Fall Out Boy would be going on hiatus. Pete Wentz says it's his fault because his hectic celebrity lifestyle has overshadowed the band. I agree, it is Pete's fault, but only cause he's such a fag.

Liam Gallagher says that he's going to record his solo album soon and it will be better than anything Oasis ever did. Except for Morning Glory and Definitely Maybe.

It looks like Aerosmith is still fighting, with normally soft-spoken guitarist Brad Whitford and bassist Tom Hamilton revealing this week that they were afraid Steven Tyler had a drug problem. I don't understand all of this talk to the news bullshit – go to the guy's house and talk to him! If there's a problem in the band, figure it out and say, we're gonna wait, we're doing this, blah blah. At least Steven is doing SOMETHING (drugs) – the rest of the guys are really coming off as whiny bitches. "We don't know what's wrong, wahhhh". Man up.

Taylor Swift is issuing her own line of greeting cards and we've got a sneak preview:






And finally, Jay-Z was forced to cancel a trio of dates in New Mexico and Texas at the last minute due to "unforeseen scheduling conflicts". I'm not going to say this had anything to do with Texas hating black people, but the Wade Bowen concert in Lubbock is still moving forward tonight.

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Putting together this column weekly, it's safe to say I've combed through every usable semi-sexy artist there is in the music community. Some of them offer a plethora of sexy pics – Jessica Simpson, Katy Perry, Mariah Carey – and others have just never seemed to take a good one yet. Leona Lewis was one of those. Until this week. So in the latest Battle of the Babes, we put Leona's newly discovered cleavage against "High School Musical" alum and QnD fave Ashley Tisdale, who was out in a bikini this week.




There are a lot of factors into my decision this week. #1 is that Ashley didn't know the pic was being taken. #2 is that Ashley looks betting going than she does coming. And #3 and maybe the most important – who knew Leona Lewis had such nice boobs? I'm giving it to the newly discovered Leona.

What do you think?

Thanksgiving Songs
An easy theme this week, as we get ready for the annual feast. Here are my favorite songs for Thanksgiving.

Mitch's Top 10 Thanksgiving Songs
1	Neil Young	"Harvest Moon"
2	Ray Charles & James Taylor	"Sweet Potato Pie"
3	Hank Williams, Jr.	"Thanks A Lot"
4	John Denver	"Back Home Again"
5	Neil Young	"Pocahontas"
6	Don Henley	"My Thanksgiving"
7	Chris Knight	"Bring The Harvest Home"
8	Buddy Thomas	"Turkey Gobbler"
9	Rufus Thomas	"Mashed Potatoes"
10	Don Moen	"Give Thanks"

QUICK ‘n' DIRTY CHART NEWS

NEW RELEASES FOR NOVEMBER 24, 2009

WHAT EVERYONE WILL BUY


Rihanna - Rated R - Nearly EVERY big release this week is actually dropping on Monday, which I don't understand. If they're catching the holiday frenzy, doesn't that begin Friday? Anyway, it's a no brainer this week, despite the fact that we have new stuff hitting stores from Shakira, Adam Lambert and others. Rihanna made all the right moves promoting this new album and the single is hot. It's her week.

WHAT WILL BE NUMBER ONE

Well damn, do I ever suck. I said nothing was going to knock Carrie Underwood from #1 this week and fucking completely forgot that Bon Jovi had released their new album. The Jersey boys parked it at #1 and Carrie fell to #3 behind that Andrea Bocelli Christmas CD, making me double wrong. As expected, Flyleaf nabbed a Top 10 spot, but the old guard proved hard to beat with no other debuts in Top 10 land. Switchfoot fell shy at #13, Dashboard stalled at #19 and 2012 debuted so low I got tired of looking for it. Why didn't someone tell me it was mostly score???

Next week, we've got big shit poppin' from Norah Jones, John Mayer, Kris Allen and 50 Cent, and who wins there is anybody's guess. All I know is that 50 gets his first week digital sales added on to his second week digital and first week physical to determine his debut, so if he can't score #1 with that, it ain't ever gonna happen again for him.

WHAT YOU SHOULD BUY

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers – The Live Anthology: FINALLY! This 4-CD (5 in the deluxe package) live set took a year to make, but I think we've been hearing from TP's camp about it for almost a decade. I never got hooked up with the Super Highway Tour (a weekly preview of half of the tracks), but I've seen the guy live enough to know that this will deliver the goods.

WHAT'S HOT ON THE DIAL?

Billboard has about a million charts, so each week I'm gonna round up the #1s from each format. That way, no matter WHAT station you flip to when not using your presets, you'll be aware of what you might hear. Newly crowned #1s are in bold:

BILLBOARD #1 SINGLES
CHART	SINGLE	WEEKS
POP/OVERALL
HOT 100	Jay-Z + Alicia Keys – "Empire State Of Mind"	10
RADIO SONGS	Jay-Z + Alicia Keys – "Empire State Of Mind"	8
POP SONGS	Jason DeRulo - "Whatcha Say"	14
HEATSEEKERS SONGS	David Nail - "Red Light"	17
DIGITAL
DIGITAL SONGS	Owl City – "Fireflies"	13
R&B/HIP-HOP
R&B/HIP-HOP SONGS	Jay-Z + Alicia Keys – "Empire State Of Mind"	11
RAP SONGS	Jay-Z + Alicia Keys – "Empire State Of Mind"	10
COUNTRY
HOT COUNTRY SONGS	Lady Antebellum – "Need You Now"	14
ROCK
ROCK SONGS	Breaking Benjamin – "I Will Not Bow"	14
ALTERNATIVE SONGS	Muse – "Uprising"	14
ADULT CONTEMPORARY
ADULT CONTEMPORARY	Taylor Swift – "You Belong With Me"	18
ADULT POP SONGS	Kings Of Leon – "Use Somebody"	29
CHRISTIAN
CHRISTIAN SONGS	tobyMac – "City On Our Knees"	14
GOSPEL SONGS	BeBe & CeCe Winans – "Close To You"	27
DANCE
DANCE/CLUB PLAY SONGS	Lily Allen - "F*ck You"	8
JAZZ
JAZZ SONGS	Peter White – "Bright"	17
LATIN
LATIN SONGS	David Bisbal– " Esclavo De Sus Besos"	10
REGIONAL MEXICAN SONGS	Intocable - "Hay Ojitas"	6
LATIN POP SONGS	Alejandro Sanz feat. Alicia Keys– "Looking For Paradise"	8
TROPICAL SONGS	Aventura– "Su Veneno"	14
INTERNATIONAL
EUROPEAN HOT 100	The Black Eyed Peas - "I Gotta Feeling"	20
JAPAN HOT 100	My Girl - "Arashi"	N/A
UNITED KINGDOM SONGS	The Black Eyed Peas – "Meet Me Halfway"	N/A
GERMANY SONGS	Robbie Williams - "Bodies"	N/A
FRANCE SONGS	Jenna Lee - "J'aimerais Tellement"	N/A
CANADIAN HOT 100	Ke$ha – "TiK ToK"	8
WEB
iLIKE LIBRARIES	The Black Eyed Peas – "Meet Me Halfway"	7
iLIKE PROFILES	The Black Eyed Peas – "I Gotta Feeling"	17
LALA.COM	Owl City - "Fireflies"	8
AOL RADIO	Colbie Caillat – "Fallin' For You"	183
YAHOO AUDIO	Taylor Swift – "You Belong With Me"	18

	Mitch's Picks

The end? So soon? There were a lot of hotties hitting the pic posts this week – Rihanna was drunk, Katy Perry had on boots that excited…I don't know, somebody, Amy Winehouse's boobs were punctured – but none of that seemed enough to be Piece of the Week worthy. Then I was sifting through some of my emails and ran across a tasty number. Her name is Meital Dohan and she's probably best known for showing up on the second season of "Weeds". She's also an Israeli singer. What she sings, I have no idea, but her name is one letter off from being metal. She's also blistering hot – every bit our Piece of the Week. Enjoy!

THE END

That's all for this week. Make sure to comment on what you liked, didn't like, etc. Till next week, keep your ears to the ground.