Double M’s Saturday Music News Report – 01.23.10

Posted by Michael Melchor on 01.23.2010

A special all-Haiti edition, detailing how Haiti has become the new Katrina and how we're all being condescended to by those who profess to help.

The views and opinions expressed herein are those solely of the author and may not necessarily reflect those of the rest of the human race.

Hey and thanks for coming back. of course, I don't know how many of you will after this, because I have something to get off my chest in a bad way. And it won't be the most feel-good, PC thing I've ever said by a damn sight.

As I type this, I actually have the "Hope for Haiti" Telethon streaming from MTV.com. Shakira's on right now, and I've heard her do better. But that's neither here nor there - watching this is the perfect way to put me in the mood for what I'm about to do.

Let's get this out of the way first...


Okay, This Is Boring – What Else Is There To Read?

Hook up with us on Facebook!

…and don't forget Twitter!
Music!
Movies/TV!
Games!
Rasslin'!
MMA!
The whole damn site!
...and, for the pure, unadulterated hell of it, me!


All The News That's Pissed Me Off

Now Jon Stewart is describing how horrible the scene is over there. Like all the newspaper covers and pictures online didn't already show that. At least Mary J Blige sounds better than Shakira did.

When this whoole thing started, Wyclef Jean put out the call for help, as this was his home country. Wyclef set up a rather unique donation method through his Yele Foundation - text "Yele" to 501501 and $5 would be added to your phone bill that would go to help Haiti. Simple enough, and effective - Wyclef raised at least $1 million for his nation in peril. Job well done from someone that had a stake in what happened.

But then, all the pictures got out...and video...and the celebrity world found a new cause to latch on to. This started the ball rolling on a PR masturbation fest. Seems that a lot of these folks are just using this as one massive effort to look good in the media.

Up now on the telethon is Taylor Swift. Because what better way to make this look good than a wholesome, pop media darling?

This telethon is a great example of why, when I originally posted the news about U2, Jay-Z and Swizz Beatz recording a single (more on those and others in a minute) I had originally posted it with a very different teaser:

Because Haiti is the new Katrina, apparently...

I took that down and replaced because it was misconstrued as me making light of the people of Haiti and their plight. That wasn't the case at all - obviously, there's nothing funny about what's happened to them. The point I was making with that teaser was that the celebrity were rallying around a cause they could use to make themselves feel good, themselves look good (more importantly, I think), and make us jump to whatever great idea they had to help those in need of more than a publicity opportunity.

So much noise was made about the same when Katrina happened. Once again, people saw a downtrodden people in dire need and, rather than dig in and help them (like an actual humanitarian would have done), they pleaded to the common man to do it for them. They found a political angle and a way to look like caring human beings at the same time they could get their names in peoples' heads so that said people could buy more of their shit. Other than Kanye West calling out George Bush on how lousy of a job he was doing to help, I don't recall any celebrities digging in and doing anything worth a damn to actually help. I saw where this situation with Haiti was going early on - the exact same way. That is why Haiti has become the new Katrina.

U2, Jay-Z, and Swizz Beatz were calling for help, and this was their idea of "donating their time" - by recording a song (because, you know, the nation of Haiti really needs a Jay-Z/U2 collaboration) and asking us to donate our money. Simon Cowell then announced he was following suit - and, for his single, he looked to recruit some American singers, as well as...naturally...stars he helped create on "The X Factor", such as Susan Boyle and Leona Lewis. Because what better way to promote leaving "American Idol", bringing "The X Factor" to the US, and a brand new deal with Sony than by getting in on the "let's help Haiti" action?

Other singers have throw in on the action in different ways. Alternative gawdz Radiohead are playing a benefit show for Haiti tomorrow, and Lady GaGa donated the proceeds one one of her biggest shows on her tour to help Haiti. Again, glad people are doing something to help - but how much effort really goes in to gestures like that? Isn't there much more that can be done than playing these victims a damn song?

The most blatant and aggravating of these sanctimonious "benevolent" acts, though, was the news that the USA for Africa tune "We Are The World" was coming up on its 25th anniversary - and that the aim now was to donate the proceeds to Haiti relief - when the anniversary recording was set to happen, anyway. Now, how many people would have given half a damn about "We Are The World 2.0" if it hadn't been shifted toward Haitian relief? What better press for the anniversary than the fact that those involved can now look sad in front of a camera and proclaim that "we're here to help"?

I wouldn't have - the original song was schmaltzy and sugary enough to send diabetics in to a coma. (At least it was better than "Hands Across America", but I digress.) Once again, there's so much more that can be done for these people than just record a friggin' song and then pat yourself on the back for doing so.

Sting's on now with a jazz band backing him, singing..."Driven To Tears." Ya friggin' THINK?!

There are those that are doing more than posturing. Wyclef spent time in his native country helping dig bodies out of the wreckage and distributing supplies. Shakira pledged to build a school there. And Tiger Woods...you know, public asshole #1? Who's biggest mistake was getting married in the first place? He reportedly sent a mobile hospital to Haiti to help. Some reports put the cost - out of his own pocket, mind you - of anywhere from $3 to $100 million. How many people have commented on that?

Not many. Barely any, as a matter of fact. Tthe public hates Woods right now because of his infidelities. Who cares that he's helping out? This is all about good PR - who wants to think about that clown, right?

It's this type of posturing...this type of hypocrisy...that's really pissed me off about the whole thing. Celebrities rally behind a cause, and it turns in to a big, feel-good touchy-feely moment for all of those savvy enough to get involved. It also turns in to the PC "thing to get behind" at the moment for the regular joes following all this bullshit.

Okay, Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow doing "Lean On Me"? Because we needed a reunion of the duo that gave us "Picture"?

God forbid you say anything bad about the efforts to "help" Haiti, too. Satellite radio personality and TNA personality Bubbba The Love Sponge learned that the hard way when he spoke out against the posturing, only to get his ass kicked by Awesome Kong. And the sad thing is, aside from that one ignorant remark, Bubba makes one hell of a point. From his Twitter page (compiled in to whole statements, but not edited otherwise):

U wouldn't believe the hate email i'm getting over this. Open ur eyes. This is a warm and fuzzy media opportunity and a big look at me live From hati take the money u wAnt to send to hati and go to a big bros or big sisters and mentor a child that doesn't have a dad or mom. And give that little boy or girl a chance and a hope of being something great that would benefit our country more than hati relief.

When we don't have kids that are on the streets here in America and we have a surplus of money and we have paid china the 60 or so trillion We owe them and we are no longer losing american troops lives over a religious war that has been going on longer than we have been a country And we have most of our own working again (unemployement) is over 10% now btw. Then we can start worrying about other countries and natural Acts beyond our control. Where were all these people we are helping when we had the Midwest floods or the 5 Huricanes in 05 that hit fl or Huricane Andrew or Katrina. This hati thing is a big look at me I'm doing something nice media monkey see monkey do follow the leader.

What would happen if u as a person or the business that u own acted like the USA borrowed more and more money with no real way to be able To pay it back and then acted like the police man of everybody else that needed something and helped them with the money u borrowed from Somewhere else how long would u be in business.

Again, this was the justification for what was, admittedly, a rather ignorant remark. There were better ways to convey messages like this than the way he went about it. But, looking at where he was coming from...I really can't argue with quite a bit of this. People like the Haiti victims deserve whatever we can do to help; the part of Bubba's statements that say otherwise I can't agree with. But, he's right about this being a big media opportunity for most involved.

As for the idiocy of asking the common man to help out, pay attention to the remarks Bubba made about our economy. If many of us were in a position that we could just hop on a Lear jet on head down there to do whatever we could, we probably would. Let's face it, though - with our economy the way it is, we can't. It's that simple. So, why are we listening that those that actually could plead to us that can't? How much friggin' sense does this make?

Rihanna is now doing a duet with...wait for it...because if there's anyone that knows about using atrocities to further their own standing in the entertainment world...U2. Puke.

Would you like to know how good of a job these celebrities we follow and give all of our time and attention to are doing? All the supplies that were donated by these celebrities calling for help were still sitting in Port Au Prince being handed out to no one. It took until yesterday for the supplies to be handed out - a week and a half after the earthquake hit.

Instead of preaching to any media outlet that will listen, why weren't these public figures putting their time and money where their mouths were? If they really wanted to help, why weren't they down there figuring out a way to get these supplies to the people that needed them rather than preaching to us what we can do and how we could help? If they really cared THAT much, wouldn't they be down there, pitching in (such as Wyclef has done, much to his credit) instead of recording songs and doing telethons and pleading for us to donate money when they have PLENTY to give?

That, above all else, is why I wish this whole thing would go away. It disgusts me that many in the celebrity and music world have used this as an opportunity for themselves rather than help those that actually need it. As much as they ask us to do that, we see how little they care to do it themselves. Save your preaching for the troglodytes that are buying your crap...which, unfortunately, is most of the world. Because many can't past the facade of using someone else's misfortune to help themselves.

I'm sure this telethon will do record numbers and raise record money and if it goes toward a helping effort, then that's what's needed. What's also needed, though, is for celebrities to stop talking down to us about how we can help and maybe get off their asses and help as well.


Happy Trails

Thanks for putting up with that. I really needed to get that off my chest. Next week won't be nearly as dour or angry, I promise.

L8. Thanks again for reading.


For more interesting reading, click here.