Under the Scalpel 01.28.10: Dream Theater, BoB, Machine Head

Posted by Mark Ingoldsby on 01.28.2010

Can Machine Head pull off a Pantera song with their long history of bad remakes? Can BoB make this metalhead swoon over a romantic club jam? And somebody please tell me when Air Supply started recording under the name Dream Theater! These heavily biased reviews are brought to you by the sometimes humorous, always heartless guitarist from the rock band A Simple Complex.

"Under the Scalpel: Dissecting Pop Culture One Song at a Time" is a weekly column written by Mark Ingoldsby, songwriter and guitarist for the hard rock band A Simple Complex. Follow the band on Twitter during our hibernation for new recordings, wild photos, and entertaining quotes from our many wild interviews.

Dream Theater – Wither
Making Prog Out Of Nothing At All



When did Air Supply start recording under the name Dream Theater?

Whenever I've heard DT, usually at some guitarist's house, each song has been an 11-minute opus with thundering percussion, howling vocals, and wild, seven-minute shredding sessions.

"Wither" is the polar opposite. The five-minute track starts off with a plain guitar lick similar to the intro of Metallica's "One", then proceeds into a slow, somber melody so unoriginal it could land them in a class action lawsuit with 10 Years, A Perfect Circle, and several other modern rock bands.

The true culture shock of "Wither", however, lies within its chorus. That's when the song becomes a standard stadium rock power ballad that has me envisioning waving cell phones, tight colored pants, and a big 1983 white boy afro (see featured picture).

Last year, drummer Mike Portnoy told Blistering.com, "A lot of bands… try to jump on the bandwagon, or the fad, or the fashion and they'll skyrocket... We've never been part of a fad or a fashion. We've always done what we've done, stuck to our guns."

Sorry, but if "Wither" isn't jumping on the new-millennium power ballad bandwagon, Adam Lambert is straight.

Maybe DT has been writing mediocre, mainstream stuff for a while and I've just somehow missed it all? Either way, the chorus of "Wither" sounds more like Daughtry on bended knee than anything I would have associated with DT previously.

Perhaps watching hard rock crossover artists like Creed, 3 Doors Down, and Staind sell tons of albums has finally taken its toll on these guys? Or, maybe there's another force at work here. Allow me to hypothesize.

DT is signed with Roadrunner Records, the label that's also home to the 11th biggest selling music act of the 2000s – Nickelback. But, once Nickelback fulfills its obligations with Roadrunner, they are not re-signing; they are moving to Live Nation.

Metal fans tend to hate Nickelback (myself included) but there is one undeniable truth every metalhead must accept: They keep the lights on over at Roadrunner's offices. But with Nickelback's big-selling crossover rock hitting the road soon, the label's ability to continue releasing great music from real metal bands that don't generate nearly as much cash could be in jeopardy.

Therefore, I theorize that the suits at Roadrunner will be asking more and more of their existing artists, like Machine Head, Killswitch Engage, Opeth, Rob Zombie, Megadeth, and Dream Theater to pick up the slack at the cash registers. And that means writing songs that will land on Billboard's Hot Mainstream Rock Tracks Chart and sell to a wider audience than just metal fans. I haven't been able get confirmation or denial of my suspicion. But it does seem quite plausible.

Now before DT fans get TOO nervous, let me confirm that the band has not completely abandoned their signature style and started filling albums with dozens of cookie-cutter pop songs. For starters, "Wither" is the only track on their latest album to clock in at under eight minutes.

Also, in sharp contrast to the disappointing music of "Wither", its lyrics are actually quite good. They were written by drummer Mike Portnoy and are about dealing with writer's block.

Let it out, let it out,
Fill the empty space, so insecure,
Find the words and let it out,
Staring down, staring down,
Nothing comes to mind, find the place,
Turn the water into wine,
But I feel I'm getting nowhere,
And I'll never see the end.

As a songwriter who held up the release of his own debut album for weeks trying to finish the lyrics for its last song – filling a wastebasket with crumpled paper along the way – I can definitely sympathize with Portnoy's story.

So because I'm a sucker for heartfelt lyrics, "Wither" may still be able to pull me under (pardon the bad pun). I will hesitantly be adding it to my collection, tolerating its unimpressive music – the way I did with Black Stone Cherry's "Things My Father Said" – in hopes it may grow on me over time.

But for now, I offer the simplistic, fad-copying music of "Wither" two stars, while giving its earnest lyrics four stars. A friend of mine, however, was able to sum up his feelings about this song succinctly, embedding a nice Air Supply dig along the way: "I'm all out of love for Dream Theater."

Rating: *** (3 out of 5)
If You Like: 10 Years, Air Supply, Daughtry, Nickelback, Theory Of A Deadman

photo credit: fiveaa.com.au

BoB (aka Bobby Ray) featuring Bruno Mars - Nothing On You
Romance On The Dance Floor



Romantic dance songs ain't my thing. Overused and predictable lyrics, well-worn chord progressions, and painfully familiar, pounding drum loops are served with jumbo-sized side order of overproduction, auto-tune, and mass marketing. Do not want.

When one of these upbeat, sappy songs begins playing and the teenyboppers start screaming, "Ooo! Becky! They're playing my song," I'm always the guy off to the side rolling his eyes, because, y'know, I'm just way too cool for that kind of thing.

Well, now everyone can roll their eyes at me. Because, like a 14-year-old in the front row of an Owl City concert, I am totally smitten with BoB's new hip-pop love song.

BoB's "Nothing On You" is a sentimental dedication to a special someone that blows Drake's smutty "Best I Ever Had" out of the water. It's a bumpin' dance track loaded with playful rhymes written about the lady who stole the heart of this once lonely, skirt-chasing player. BoB assures his girl she needn't worry about other women because "they've got nothing of you, baby!"

Silky R&B singer Bruno Mars guests on the track and delivers the song's romantic hook with style and finesse.

Beautiful girls all over the world,
I could be chasing but my time would be wasted,
They've got nothing on you, baby,
Nothing on you, baby,
They might say, "Hi" and I might say, "Hey",
But you shouldn't worry about what they say,
'Cause they've got nothing on you, baby,
Nothing on you, baby.

Mars' romantic crooning is combined with BoB's singing and rapping, giving the song three distinct vocal performances like a classic Bell Biv Devoe track. Mars handles the Ricky Bell soul crooning, and BoB fills both the Biv-rapping and Devoe-singing roles.

The track features a groovy, 1970's-style walking bass line, subtle guitar stabs, tender piano, and dreamy new wave synthesizer melodies played over a hip-hop drum beat that brings classic Arrested Development to mind. These elements are a winning combination, giving the song a warm feel that helps it stand out above most of today's soulless dance pop hits.

Sadly, I've found no evidence of this track making its mark on any music charts yet, except for the #1 spot DJ Booth's Top Rap Chart. But give it time. Even though the song's been floating around since last November, it's not set to impact radio until February 2nd. I believe the song has strong hit potential – especially if someone like me who doesn't generally like this type of song is listening to it 2-3 times a day like a starry-eyed teenybopper.

Ridiculous, I know. Go ahead and goof on me. I deserve it. I'll just be over here clutching my hands against my chest and screaming because, well... "my song" is playing.

Rating: ***** (5 out of 5)
If You Like: Atmosphere (select tracks), Bell Biv Devoe, Drake, IYAZ, Lupe Fiasco, Outkast (select tracks)

photo credit: comeroundhere.files.wordpress.com

Machine Head - Fucking Hostile
Remake Of A Metal Classic



There exist songs that fans consider a masterpiece – impossible for any other artist to improve upon or even match the quality of. These are songs that, as a band, it's best to steer clear of performing unless you plan to radically overhaul and reinvent them into almost entirely new songs. Otherwise, one risks branding themselves as a second-rate outfit that does bad remakes of great music.

Pantera's "Fucking Hostile" is one of those masterpieces – a true metal classic that most agree could never be improved upon. Right out of the gate, Pantera unleashes a brutal heavy metal fury in "Hostile" that doesn't stop delivering 100% pure audio ecstasy for even a millisecond all the way up to its blistering finale.

When I heard that Machine Head recorded a version of this song to be included on a Pantera tribute CD for Metal Hammer magazine, I was immediately nervous. They already have a long history of doing poor remakes of other bands' music.

Machine Head's debut album Burn My Eyes is a classic metal album as far as I'm concerned. Even during this time when it seemed the band could do no wrong, they recorded a very unimpressive cover of Poison Idea's "Alan's On Fire".

Their next three albums were a series of bad releases, each worse than its predecessor. During this time, the band recorded several covers that ranged from boring to outright terrible. The band did an awful version of Ice-T's "Colors" that has to be heard to be believed. Their Bad Brains song "House Of Suffering" was disappointing. The band did a very plain interpretation of Nirvana's "Negative Creep". And a lackluster version of Black Sabbath's "Hole In The Sky" surfaced on Nativity In Black II: A Tribute To Black Sabbath.

The worst cover song they did during this era was a tender remake of The Police song "Message In A Bottle" that made me vomit bile. To this day, I can't fathom why the band made this move.

After being dropped from their label, Machine Head's fifth album was the first step in the band's road to recovery, and earned back the respect of many of their fans – and the favor of the label that dumped them. Wisely, the band recorded no covers in this period.

Their sixth album, The Blackening, was a full return to glory for the band and capable of winning win me back as a fan. But even their cover of Iron Maiden's "Hallowed Be Thy Name", released soon after this album, left a lot to be desired.

Now that you know Machine Head's history with cover songs, you can understand why I assumed the worst when I heard they'd covered Pantera's quintessential classic.

Surprisingly, the track turned out to be anything but a disappointment. The band fully embraced the ferocity of Pantera's original and was able to match its attitude, musicianship, and ferocity note for note. They also dropped the key of the song, giving it an even beefier and heavier sound.

As most Pantera fans already know, the song's lyrics are a vicious verbal attack on misguided authority figures like police officers who spend more time ticketing drivers than apprehending violent criminals, people who brainwash others into their personal religious beliefs, and students of the priesthood who refuse to demand hard answers to tough questions. The second half of each verse involves the song's protagonist taking on each role and doing the job correctly.

Now I'll play the public servant ,
To serve and protect by the law and the state,
I'd bust the punks that rape, steal and murder,
And leave you be, If you crossed me,
I'd shake your hand like a man not a God,
To see, to bleed, cannot be taught,
In turn, you're making us fucking hostile.

Rarely can a cover of such a revered song hold a candle to its original. Machine Head took a big risk in recording this track… and they nailed it. Machine Head's recording of "Hostile" is very satisfying, honoring the original well. Listening to it at an ear-bleeding volume makes me want to get… well, you know.

The song can be found on a tribute titled Getcha Pull! A Tribute To Dimebag Darrell.

Rating: ***** (5 out of 5)
If You Like: Disturbed (2000), Five Finger Death Punch, Lamb Of God (singles), Mudvayne (2000-2005), Pantera

photo credit: tinypic.com