The Savage Animal 02.03.10: My Top .08 “Beer Goggle Songs”… That I Remember

Posted by Mikey MiGo on 02.03.2010

If this music was in your bed when you woke up, you’d feel dirty and wonder who you embarrassed yourself in front of the night before. In this edition of The Savage Animal, 411’s Mikey MiGo gives his top X “beer goggle songs” that he remembers. From Usher’s “Yeah!” to Kiss’ “Rock and Roll All Night”, let’s mock his embarrassment and share our own!


After awhile, talking about how busy and productive I attempt to keep myself becomes redundant. You don't care that I put day's worth of time into editing 8 minutes of footage. I'd just be rambling and talking about stuff that's of no concern to any of you. From now on, I'm going to only bring up things with proven results.

One thing that should be presented soon is a documentary that I'm working on about Chicago based metal band on the rise "Fashion Bomb". More than half of the project has been in the can for about two months now, but this upcoming Saturday should make for the final portion needed to complete it. I'll be sitting down with the band and hopefully do their journey to being on the cusp of breaking out justice. So if all goes well, I'll be in Chicago on Saturday at the Fashion Bomb show at Logan Square Auditorium. Also on the bill is Skinwalker, a band I've never heard before, Lollypop Tragedy, a new local 219 band that'll surely offend your parents, and one of my favorite under the radar bands in the city in Comasoft. If YOU are in the Chicagoland area, enjoy great hard rock/metal/a little electronics, have $8, and want a good time then you too will be there. If you ARE in the Chicagoland area and don't come then there's a good chance you don't appreciate your ears.

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My Top .08 "Beer Goggle Songs"… That I Remember
"Where are my pants and what the hell did I listen to last night?"
Everyone has that "friend" who has the tale of waking up next to a less than pleasant lover after a long night of drinking. I believe it's called "beer goggles". Along with this rather common act, I'm starting to think alcohol effects more than just our standards of sexual indulgence.

I'm a firm believer that alcohol also brings down our music standards. The music you're normally into just isn't enough. Be it something completely out of your realm of musical tastes, something old that you've moved on from, or something that's just fun to scream along with; this music will invade our unguarded inhibitions and turn us into freaks. Your ears turn to eager toilets that hungrily take in any shit that's tossed at it. If this music was in your bed when you woke up, you'd feel dirty and wonder who you embarrassed yourself in front of the night before. This is a situation that is inevitable on some degree for everyone who indulges, but there's only so much one should allow themselves to endure.

This is all subjective. It all depends on a person's musical tastes and standards. You may rock what's on my list on the norm and only like what I'm into when you're intoxicated. The point is that it's music that you'd normally avoid while sober. The alcohol/music relationship is normally used for mood enhancers. For instance, if you're bummed out, you can listen to some depressing shit and become even more miserable. But for the most part, at least with who I'm around, it's to have a good time. Sadly, this social choice comes with its penalty.

Here are my top .08 favorite "beer goggle songs"… that I recall. ".01" being the tamest and ".08" being when I'm legally drunk.

POINT ZERO ONE
"Yeah!" by Usher

THE 411: A sip, a mere sip and a loud "YEAH!" will get my heart beating. It's a proven fact that Usher Raymond is smoother than butter, but when you combine beats that could raise the dead then you're on to something. I would never go out of my way for this song, but if and when our paths cross I just may dance. I just need that mere sip first.


POINT ZERO TWO
"Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi

THE 411: Bon Jovi has no place in this dojo, young squires. I'm not against them. They seem like nice guys and they probably have a really good greatest hits collection, but I don't rock "The Jov". This song is a major exception. While I'd normally respectfully avoid "The Jov", this one, with a little bit of alcohol, is one that I can not only live with but will welcome for its duration. How can you NOT sing or at least nod along with the chorus? I dare you not to without twitching. I dare you! And besides, "Young Guns II" rocked.


POINT ZERO THREE
"Thunderstruck" by AC/DC

THE 411: I love AC/DC. They were one of the first bands I saw live in concert and they put on one helluva show. Angus tore it up, the crowd rocked it, and the energy made for a great time, but other than that I don't find much AC/DC in my life. I generally like "Back in Black", but "Thunderstruck" is much more entertaining and fun to rock with a few ounces of freedom in your liver.


POINT ZERO FOUR
"Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix-A-Lot

THE 411: I like this song in small doses. Every so often an old school hip hop party track will sneak up on you and make you remember times when you raised your arms in the air like you just didn't care. This one, along with a few other gems, will always be one of those songs that a mere "buzz" could explode.


POINT ZERO FIVE
"Turn The Page" by Bob Seger

THE 411: I don't have to be drunk to appreciate this one, but it's just not my cup of tea. I fully acknowledge this is a good song. The vocals of Seger are always impressive and emotive, but I've just never gotten into him. I hear the Metallica version more often and it's decent too, but the classic is classic. With a little bit of booze, I'll start to "feel it".


POINT ZERO SIX
"Thunder Rolls" by Garth Brooks

THE 411: I don't like country. I despise the style, the simpleton lyrics, and false image of middle America it presents. Say I'm wrong, but there are plenty of educated people from the south and middle America and past literature greats prove that. This song is about as close as a country song can get. This is a man utilizing the country style in a unique way. Come to think of it, I bet R-Kelly saw this once or twice.


POINT ZERO SEVEN
"Faith" by Limp Bizkit

THE 411: Being in my teens in the mid to late 90's, I could not escape Limp Bizkit. Before "Nookie" and the other songs that really exposed the group for their frat-boy douche-baggery they snuck out their "Faith" cover for people like me to be tricked by. I'm past this though. I've come to terms that I was a dumb kid and "Faith" wasn't even that good to begin with. Pour some booze down my gullet and I'm in 10th grade again. The dude's performance in this video may actually be a reason why I think deep deep DEEP down in my heart I'll probably always love this song.


POINT ZERO EIGHT
"Rock and Roll All Night" by KISS

THE 411: I'm not a Kiss fan at all. I understand their appeal, but it's just not an area in music that I want any part of. Gene Simmons's personality ruins any potential likeability I could have for this classic rock novelty. This song, when intoxicated, sneaks its way into your being.


LEGALLY DRUNK!
"Pour Some Sugar On Me" by Def Leppard

THE 411: I don't hate Def Leppard. They're very respectable for what they do and they have lived a great rock and roll "Behind the Music" story. However, this song is for some reason torture for me. It just makes me cringe and pray for a power outage. But once I'm fully drunk this song is great. I'll head bang a little, sing a long, and enjoy my inner 80's rock star but once sober I'll run from this song faster than most.


I'm embarrassed by this list, but the first step in overcoming is acceptance. You too can start your path to redemption.

Post YOUR most embarrassing "beer goggle" songs.

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RANDOM VIDEO OF THE WEEK
A First Impression Video!
"Two" by The Antlers
The 411: I've never heard of this band, but the thumbnail of the video caught my eye. This simple animation video has tons of style. I like the interaction of "cartoon" to a real location. It's very creative in it's simplicity. The song doesn't really do it for me. It has that "indie rock" down tempo thing going for it. It's not a bad song, but really doesn't hook me until about half way through. The increasing tempo and vocal volume is fun, but I find myself thinking it sounds a little too much like a "TV on the Radio" in some aspects. I can see the Wes Anderson movie trailer with this song in the background right now. For a first impression, I'm not turned off. I like their creative style and the music is solid. I'm curious to hear more.

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RANDOM MOVIE REVIEW IN 411 WORDS OR LESS
"YOUTH IN REVOLT"
The 411:I think everyone sees this trailer and thinks that Michael Cera will be playing the same awkward character he plays in EVERYTHING. I was one of those people going into seeing this movie. I can safely confirm that we were right… for the most part. This is easily my favorite film role of Cera's so far. He is the same awkward teenager, but what should we be expecting? He looks like an awkward teenager. Let's enjoy the awesomeness, while some times repetitive, while we can before he moves on to awkward sleazy guy. Speaking of which, his father in the movie is Steve Buchemi. That makes perfect sense to me and I mean that with tons of respect to all involved in the comparison. This movie is about a lower class teenager who is uncomfortable in his own skin as he seeks sex with a dream girl. Shit happens and develops an invisible friend/multiple personality of "Francois", a French-styled dare devil hipster. "Francois" takes over and Cera's character finds himself getting in a lot of over the top situations and trouble. Cera does a smooth job in both roles without going too over the top in character acting. Buchemi's role wasn't as big as I would of hoped, but I like the role for him. The rest of the cast works perfectly in reflecting the pacing of Cera's delivery and style. It's a fun movie and one of the best comedies of the year so far (Yeah, it's only Feb). It doesn't reinvent the wheel. It's not laugh after laugh like Hangover, it's not snarky stoner banter of a Rogen/Apatow movie, and it's not a low rent styled "American Pie" or "National Lampoon" comedy. It's a solid comedy with a lot of laughs and great set up. Last year Seth Rogen rocked it in "Observe and Report" because while still being like himself, it was a more extreme version presented in a darker comedy. That's exactly what happens here. I will gladly get this when it hits DVD shelves and I will recommend it to any of my friends who enjoy a good comedy. Be my friend, watch this movie.

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WRESTLING WITH PILLOWS
Looking Out From the Inside.
Sunday afternoon I found myself wondering if the proper American translation of "Royal Rumble" is "Quarter Pounder Rumble". So this must mean one thing. Either I do too many drugs or Sunday was WWE's "Royal Rumble" PPV.

The PPV was kinda weak, but that's normal because the actual Rumble normally makes up for it. This year was not really any different. I normally complain about ECW matches not getting enough PPV time. The 12 minute Christian/Zeke match was about 3 or 4 minutes too long. I'm cool with both, but they just don't click together well. Zeke needs to be working Regal and not with him so he can develop more. MVP and Miz was a HUGE disappointment. I've been really behind their recent build and this match took that build up and the promos and spit all over it. If they keep going with this, to me at least, they're back to square one. The Sheamus/Orton match was lame sauce. I was open minded to Sheamus being champion, but this dead match with one of the most responsive performers has to say something about him. No one cares about him and the belt is out of place on his shoulder. If anything he should be ECW champ right now, not WWE champ. Rumble set up the road to Mania and it looks interesting. Michaels didn't get the win, but I'm pretty sure he still might face taker. How better to get Taker's attention that to cost him the belt? Cena, Batista, and Triple H didn't win so I'm happy about it. Edge was rumored to come back and he did. When Cena did the surprise entrance and win thing in recent years I was pissed. I like Edge A LOT more than Cena, he's one of my favorite people to watch, but to not be a little ticked about it would be hypocritical. Who am I kidding? I'm thrilled Edge won.

RAW was pretty good. Think about this one. The best RAW in recent weeks only featured Sheamus for a short spot in Edge's opening segment. Coincidence? No way. Then again, there were lots of short spots on the show and it made for an action packed night. Cena was on TV for less than four minutes, which is plus in my book. The qualifiers for the chamber were fun, but pretty damn predictable. But even in these "duh" conclusion matches, we got a fair amount of quality. The Triple H/Swagger match was fun and it was cool to see Swagger given that rub. I'd be willing to bet that after Mania or even at it, they'll pull the trigger on his push. I know Kofi and Morrison are favorites for MITB, but if Swagger continues to get chances like this he could sneak in there too. Orton and Michaels put out a damn decent 7 minute match that surprisingly gave us a clean finish.

The final segment of Vince and Bret going "back and forth and forth and forth and forth" was fun. I say it like that because Bret put out a little, but Vince laid into Bret like he was a chump. I respect the hell out of Bret Hart, but everything Vince said in describing his personality, skill, and crowd response was absolutely true. Bret is a legend because he can tell a story in the ring and his moves have impact and precision. He's a master craftsman, but he's boring as shit. The only reason he gets over with his laid back approach to clichés my grandfather uses is because he's always paired up with someone who has personality and can carry him through the much needed theatrics side of pro wrestling. And now what happens? They put Bret with Hogan 2.0 in order for him to be over with the kids. If these kids were shown Hart stuff from the past, they would probably fall asleep or be bored to death. Sadly, this proves Vince right and I almost want to say there's a sense of "I know how this is booked, so I'm going to use what I know to make you look dumb" to this. Because now, Bret is being carried again… this time by the pops of Cena. As surreal and cool as it is to see Bret back, if he's not going to perform or do anything at all to elevate young talent then I'm done caring about this situation any more than a celebrity feud.

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CHECK THIS OUT! [CHEAP PLUGS]
Things I do while not writing this column.

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My apologies for the short one this week. I think my music-related writing limit is about 20 pages a week so I had to back off this one a little. There are a few other writing projects on my plate that you should be seeing up within the next couple of weeks. I'm pretty excited about both. Next week, while not sure of the topic, will be morbid and hopefully offensive to people. So that's something to look forward to. Until then, have a great week!