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Quick ‘n’ Dirty Music News: 04.09.10
Posted by Mitch Michaels on 04.09.2010



Hey buttbangers! Mitch Michaels back for another week of the 411 Friday Flagship, the imitated but never duplicated Quick ‘n' Dirty News.

My apologies for missing out next week. It was a holiday weekend, I thought I could juggle and get the column in and then, well, I didn't. Seriously, is there ever an interesting story for not turning in your column unless you just up and die? And I don't think that's happened to any 411 columnists outside of Blake Lauderback. Not in the years I've been here anyway.

But whatever, I'm back this week and you forgive me. Spring is in the air, but you can't fucking tell it with the 90+ degree temps we're getting. What the fuck, spring?

I could go on forever, but how about we just stick with the normal format and I give you some links:

411 Music Fact or Fiction rocks this week and somehow assembles the only three people on the site who liked Chinese Democracy. Check it out if you haven't.

You guys know I don't typically plug things, but I just couldn't help but want to spread the word when I saw the new Star Wars Mimobots, which are Star Wars-themed designer flash drives. Series 5 is based on the first movie (Episode IV for the geeks) and features R2-D2, multiple Stormtroopers, the fan-voted Obi-Wan Kenobi and making his debut…my favorite…the Jawa. Check him out.


You can pick these up for as low as $30 (price goes up with storage size). They also come preloaded with some cool digital stuff. Read more about the little guys here.

And, as always, make sure to follow us on Twitter (Mitch, 411mania, 411 Music) or Facebook (Mitch, 411mania). How else will you know what wrestler turned Stone Cold actor now thrives on my feedback?

Now, let's get to it. It's quick, it's dirty, it's news.

Let's go…



STAND BY…FOR NEWS!

All news items are from 411 Music's newswire:









I'm really not too sure how it happened, but somehow the new Slash solo album became a major release. Maybe Slash just hired a good PR team, but I think it was kind of the perfect storm of just the right media publicity.

The first taste we really got of this album was when Fergie (and Cypress Hill) teamed with the ex-Guns N' Roses guitarist to cover GN'R's "Paradise City". Sounds disastrous, but it was actually really fucking good. Now, "Paradise City" isn't even on the Slash album (though it's an international bonus track), but it certainly set the stage. And the fact that Fergie is a member of The Black Eyed Peas, who have been unable to NOT release a #1 hit over the past year or so, helped a LOT of people get interested in the track, which sort of warmed people up to Slash making an album with a bunch of notable singers handling the vocals. Kind of like a greasier version of Santana's Supernatural, which was, incidentally, celebrating its 10th anniversary release recently. A subtle correlation, but I do think there's some truth the assumption that celebrating Santana's success put Slash' similar project more in focus.

Then you had Slash's two ex (?) bands which just can't stay out of the news. Velvet Revolver creates its own press just by having a member say "we still haven't found a vocalist". Meanwhile, GN'R frontman Axl Rose can't keep his crazy assed mouth shut for more than a day before he has to scream about some tiny bit of misinformation found on an insignificant website in one place or another.

(Side note – it's too bad Axl wasn't this keen on playing shows and running his mouth when Chinese Democracy was actually making its run in stores. Has anybody been to Best Buy recently and checked out the Guns N' Roses section? It's like six rows wide, all dedicated to copies of ChiDem just collecting dust!)

Anyway, all of this helped put Slash on the map, and with release week finally here, there's been no shortage of Slash coverage. Funny thing is, way more revolves around a possible reunion between Slash and Axl than the actual album.

First you have the track "Crucify the Dead" from Slash, which has some lyrics that are so obviously about Axl that you'd think no one had ever taught songwriter Ozzy Osbourne the meaning of metaphor. It actually uses the words "guns" and "roses" in the same couplet, for God's sakes.

For his part, Slash says he didn't write the lyrics and that Ozzy assured him they weren't about Axl. Which only proves to me that Slash wears that top hat to cover the dunce hat underneath.

Slash went on to praise Axl and the much-maligned ChiDem in a later interview, saying he thought it was the perfect GN'R album to follow up Use Your Illusion and that Axl was "phenomenal".

He also said that he'd love to talk with Axl again, but he doesn't because he knows how much Axl hates him. Which of course is a nice way of saying, "Don't ask me about the original GN'R reuniting ‘cause I'm all for it. Axl's holding it up."

Which, you know, is probably true.

I was really hoping we'd get an Axl message board screed about this to tie it all together, but so far he's been quiet. Meanwhile, Slash looks to be the highest debuting album of the week and should move a tidy 50,000 copies.

It just goes to show again that the best way to promote something is to not talk about something else until you have something to promote.

(Oh, and by the way, if you're in L.A., there may still be time for you to get in on the shooting of Slash's "By The Sword" video. Click here for details. Maybe you can get with Slash and find out about that dunce cap thing.)






I spoke not too long ago about how I thought the stories out of Australia about Whitney Houston fans wanting concert ticket refunds due to poor performance was a bunch of bullshit. Well, it looks like maybe I was wrong. Maybe.

On Tuesday, Whitney canceled a concert she had scheduled for Paris at the last minute. It was going to be the kick-off of the European leg of her tour and hopefully put to bed all of those comments that the show wasn't going so well in Oz. The reason for the Paris cancellation was cited as an upper respiratory infection, which, I don't know, sounds legit, right?

Then on Wednesday, Whitney canceled three more shows. Two in Manchester scheduled for last night and today, and then one in Glasgow that had been set for Sunday. Reps said Whitney'd met with doctors and that they'd confirmed the infection and were advising her to rest.

Now, I consulted the QnD's personal medical expert (which is Dick's House, Dartmouth College's Health Center), and found that a URI is caused by a virus. You can increase your chances of getting one by being stressed, tired, not eating right, smoking or working in crowded conditions. Stressed and tired? Sounds like someone who's in the middle of a comeback tour that's getting shaky reviews. And I don't know Whitney personally, but that chick looks like she smokes like a freight train.

Of course, rather than look to the more mundane reasoning, people were quick to say the whole thing is a sham and Whitney is in bad shape because she's back on drugs again. I mean, after all, like Kelly Osbourne says, once you're an addict, you're never not an addict.

Whitney has actually personally responded to the rumors, saying reports of her drug abuse are "ridiculous" and that she just has a lot of allergy problems this time of year.

I'm going to give Ms. Houston the benefit of the doubt on this one, but with a caveat. Whitney was out of the game for a long time. In fact, this is her first world tour in ten years. Within that time frame (and before), Whitney did some hard living. The truth is, Whitney Houston is 46 and, because of time and a crazy lifestyle, she just doesn't have what she used to have.

Am I saying her concerts are crap? No way. I'm just saying that, after being out of the public eye for so long, people were surprised to find out Whitney wasn't in as great a shape as we remembered her. And why would she be after the things she's admitted to doing?




How about some quick hits?

China has refused to let Bob Dylan play a couple of shows there, citing his past history of rallying for social change as the reason. The 68-year old Dylan responded by asking, "What did I do? Seriously, I can't remember." Of course, the joke's on China here. Even if Dylan had made any comments condemning the government, it's likely none of the people would have understood his mumbling.

Kelly Osbourne has opened up about her drug addiction. Though currently sober after four stints in rehab, Kelly says she thinks about drugs every single day. Kelly went on to note that her comment excludes weekends, which she reserves for thinking about cake.

Rihanna announced dates this week for the "Last Girl On Earth Tour", which was to feature Ke$ha and Nicki Minaj as support. Two days later, Nicki tweeted that she was pulling out of the tour to focus on finishing her album. At least I think that's what she said. Check out the tweet.

"Barbz I'm sorry 2 say I will not be going out on RiRi's tour. I've decided 2 use that time 4 the completion of my album. Hope u understand."

Who the fuck is Barbz?

Fortunately, Rihanna and Ke$ha can still continue with the tour's theme – girls who are just famous enough to ignore how kind of ugly they are most of the time.

I'd still do ‘em though. All three, but Ke$ha last.






Ex-Oasis guitarist Paul "Bonehead" Arthurs said this week that the band should have called it quits in 1996 after they played for 250,000 people at Knebworth. America has since responded, "Yeah, looking back, you probably should have."

Erykah Badu was charged with disorderly conduct after shooting her new video, "Window Seat" – which is her walking down the street in Dallas while getting naked – "guerilla style", which means she didn't have any kind of permit and the people on the street had no idea she was going to be doing it. Badu said, ‘I tried to telepathically communicate my good intent to [the children watching]. That's all I could do, and I hoped they wouldn't be traumatized."

I was going to talk about why this is the right call because Badu knew she was filming a giant publicity stunt to begin with, and even go into how Erykah's "artistic statement" (that "exposing your true self" will cause your character to be assassinated the same way JFK was) is a bit flimsy, but all I can think is, damn, who knew Erykah Badu had that kind of ass on her???


Let's go back to 2005 for a moment, shall we? George W. Bush began his second term as President, we got a new Pope, blink-182 broke up, 50 Cent ruled the radio and Suge Knight got shot in the leg at a party before the MTV VMAs. Let's focus on that last one. It looks like, five years later, Suge will finally have his day in court – but not to face the man who pulled the trigger. Suge is seeking over a million bucks from the club owners and party host Kanye West because he said security was not ample enough for a man of his caliber and propensity for being involved in violent crimes.

M.I.A. is getting a little sick and fucking tired of being compared to Lady GaGa. In a recent interview, M.I.A. said GaGa was just a product of the record industry and was more a symbol of the talented people behind her, not her own. She also said GaGa sounds more like M.I.A. than M.I.A. does. The funny thing is that M.I.A. and GaGa's music, really, sound nothing alike, as M.I.A. owes much more to hip-hop and GaGa is all about theatrical pop. Hey M.I.A. – did you forget you plugged away for half a decade before you broke out because of a spot in a MOVIE COMMERCIAL? I agree that GaGa is part of the machine babe, but let's not forget to give the gears their credit in our own lives.

According to his ex-wife, Lil Wayne is doing so good in jail that they gave him a job. Weezy helps out other inmates who are on suicide watch, making sure they don't leave the prison in a body bag. When asked what he thought of the position, Kanye West said that it was OK, but not quite a good ass job.

And let's hope for Weezy's sake that he doesn't find a good ass job during the next several months.

I don't care how that she runs on crack now, I'd still bang Lindsay Lohan:


A warrant was issued for Coolio's arrest this week, after he failed to show up in court for a probation hearing. Coolio is on probation after being stopped at an airport with a controlled substance. Fortunately for Coolio, he got into contact with the court and the warrant has since been lifted. Now see, had this been DMX, he would have crashed through the court wall in a tour bus, smoking a j and holding an automatic weapon at his side. And the motherfucker wouldn't have been wearing a damn seatbelt, either.

Dr. Conrad Murray is pleading guilty to involuntary manslaughter in the Michael Jackson case. Murray's defense is that Michael injected the fatal dose of Propofol against his wishes while Murray was out of the room. When asked if he thought the court would believe this story, Murray responded, "It sure as shit beats telling them that I did it."

Further, Murray plans on backing up his assertion that Jackson would do whatever he wanted by telling the court about Michael's little-known severe addiction to Coca-Cola. Poor Michael – didn't he know that, no matter how much Coke he drank, he was never going to grow the hair back after the Pepsi commercial?

And finally, Dr. Dre says he's THISCLOSE to releasing his new single, "Under Pressure", which features Jay-Z. It would be the lead single from his next album Detox, which has been in the works for about a decade.


Is a fifteen year old Waterworld reference asking too much of you?





Last Sunday was Easter, and Katy Perry was out in disguise as the Easter Bunny. The warm weather was quite kind to us in those pics. Taking her on is Aubrey O'Day, who was out with some short dress action.




I'm sorry, it's a thin selection this week. I think I actually blew the hottest pic by talking about Lindsay Lohan earlier. But oh well. I guess between the two, you gotta go with Katy since she's showing more skin and has the better cleavage. Aubrey is looking a little coked out and chunky, which is an odd combo.

What do you think?

















RAIN

Well, it's April, and despite the ridiculous temperatures in my area right now, it's still the traditional time for April showers. Hell, just this week, I'm inside, it's all sunny, then I head what sounds like a tactical bombing outside. Turns out it was thunder and the dark clouds were rolling in. I love the rain though, it's brings on a good vibe. And with that in mind, here's:


Mitch's Rain Playlist

1"I'm Not Stranger To The Rain"Keith Whitley
2"Stormy Monday"T-Bone Walker
3"Texas Flood"Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Trouble
4"Rainy Night In Georgia"Conway Twitty & Sam Moore
5"No Rain"Blind Melon
6"Gimme Shelter"Rolling Stones
7"The Thunder Rolls"Garth Brooks
8"Raining In Baltimore"Counting Crows
9"I Wish It Would Rain Down"Phil Collins
10"Have You Ever Seen The Rain?"Creedence Clearwater Revival
11"Riders On The Storm"The Doors









QUICK ‘n' DIRTY CHART NEWS


NEW RELEASES FOR APRIL 13, 2010

WHAT EVERYONE WILL BUY

Jason Castro - Jason Castro - This is a really tough call because there's a lot of big stuff coming out this week – new MGMT, Coheed & Cambria, Jeff Beck…but you can't deny the power of the pop set and "American Idol", which is in full swing right now no matter what the ratings are between it and "Dancing With The Stars" (and has anyone compared "DTWS" numbers to the numbers "Idol" was pulling at the BEGINNING of the season? Wait till things settle down). Castro's album is streaming online, which I think is a conscious sales push to raise awareness to what it should be, but I still think it'll be the biggest new release.

WHAT WILL BE NUMBER ONE

Once again, apologies for not being around last week to predict. Usher knocked off Justin Bieber from the top spot to grab #1 this week, and we got debuts from Alan Jackson and Erykah "where's she been hiding that ass?" Badu in the Top 10. Pretty easy call, really. Usher moved 329k, making him 2010's 3rd biggest release so far, behind Lady Antebellum and Sade. The good news for Bieber is that his sales were actually UP, a rarity for an album these days, especially one that debuts at #1.

This week is being called as the return of Bieber, as he's looking to move around 100,000 copies and Usher should stall out at 90k. We already said it, but Slash will be the biggest debut with 50,000 – that should get him in the Top 10. Jakob Dylan and the new Madonna live album should also get some Top 10 love.

WHAT YOU SHOULD BUY

MGMT - Congratulations: The fact that they've consciously taken a new direction worries me. Even "Flash Delirium" worries me. But here's the thing – who would think they'd like the music MGMT was making on the first album if it was just described to them? The band is definitely a grower, and I'm willing to pick up Congratulations and give it some time.

WHAT'S HOT ON THE DIAL?

Billboard has about a million charts, so each week I'm gonna round up the #1s from each format. That way, no matter WHAT station you flip to when not using your presets, you'll be aware of what you might hear. Newly crowned #1s are in bold:

BILLBOARD #1 SINGLES
CHARTSINGLEWEEKS
POP/OVERALL
HOT 100Rihanna – "Rude Boy"8
RADIO SONGSRihanna – "Rude Boy"8
POP SONGSLady GaGa feat. Beyonce – "Telephone"18
HEATSEEKERS SONGSLa Roux – "Bulletproof"6
DIGITAL
DIGITAL SONGSTrain – "Hey, Soul Sister"26
RINGTONESRihanna – "Rude Boy"7
R&B/HIP-HOP
R&B/HIP-HOP SONGSMonica – "Everything To Me"11
RAP SONGSTimbaland feat. Drake – "Say Something"16
COUNTRY
HOT COUNTRY SONGSZac Brown Band – "Highway 20 Ride"21
ROCK
ROCK SONGSStone Temple Pilots – "Between The Lines"3
ALTERNATIVE SONGSMuse – "Resistance"16
ADULT CONTEMPORARY
ADULT CONTEMPORARYLady Antebellum – "Need You Now"12
ADULT POP SONGSLady Antebellum – "Need You Now"13
CHRISTIAN
CHRISTIAN SONGSMercyMe – "All Of Creation"10
GOSPEL SONGSMarvin Sapp – "The Best In Me"16
DANCE
DANCE/CLUB PLAY SONGSOno – "Give Me Something"10
JAZZ
JAZZ SONGSJackiem Joyner – "Take Me There"19
LATIN
LATIN SONGSBanda El Recodo de Cruz Lizarraga – " Me Gusta Todo De Ti"24
REGIONAL MEXICAN SONGSBanda El Recodo de Cruz Lizarraga – " Me Gusta Todo De Ti"24
LATIN POP SONGSCamila - "Mientes"19
TROPICAL SONGSJ?Martin feat. Magic Juan – "Intentalo"19
INTERNATIONAL
CANADIAN HOT 100Young Artists For Haiti – "Wavin' Flag"4
WEB
iLIKE LIBRARIESRihanna – "Rude Boy"7
iLIKE PROFILESLady GaGa – "Bad Romance"21
LALA.COMTrey Songz feat. Fabolous – "Say Aah"12
AOL RADIOLady Antebellum – "Need You Now"10
YAHOO AUDIOLady Antebellum – "Need You Now"6






Mitch's Picks
Crash Kings – "Mountain Man"

Jay-Z – "Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)"

Dwight Yoakam – "Miner's Prayer"







And here we are, the end of yet another week of all that is Quick ‘n' Dirty. Last Sunday wasn't just Easter, but also Opening Day for Major League Baseball. To usher in the season, here are some hot baseball chicks – your Pieces of the Week! Enjoy!




























THE END

That's all for this week. Make sure to comment on what you liked, didn't like, etc. Till next week, keep your ears to the ground.






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