The Music 5 & 1 05.12.10: The “Who's This Guy?” Edition

Posted by Lenny Vowels on 05.12.2010

Lady Gaga loses her underwear, Taylor Swift leads a double life, Betty White is AWESOME, Destiny's Child EXPLODES~! in VS, Adrienne Curry gets sexified on Twitter, five things you didn’t know about Orianthi, more washed up pop stars than you can shake a stick at and Karolina Kurkova is your &1 model of the week!

WELCOME!

Right, it's Wednesday once again so it must be time for music news and gossip. If you've never read this column before, this is where we take a look at five music stories of the last week, some serious, some not, dissect them and, usually, take the piss a bit. To top it all off we then celebrate the passing of another 7 days with pictures of a hot chick in the form of our &1 Model of the Week.

If you're wondering what genius could possibly have come up with such a concept than look no further than the Hollywood 5&1 by Steve Gustafson, the CSI to my CSI: Miami.

You want more? You got it, the Wrestling zone has what I guess is the CSI: New York of the family with Ryan Merholz's excellent Wrestling 5&1. Go check it out and support the franchise.







Right, so here I am, filling in for Adam this week while his computer requires a quadruple bypass. Anyone who wishes to send his computer a "Get Well Soon" card may do so. I also must ask to stick to throwing tomatoes at me and not sharp objects or anything that's on fire since this is my first time, and I'M STILL LEARNING, DAMMIT! Ahem... right, on we go with the big 5... right after the big two.





I think I'm starting to fall in love with this woman. For those that will ask, it's Serrina Sims of the band Sweethead, and their first album was recently reviewed by 411's own Aaron Mayagoitia. Check it out!

WHO SAID WHAT?

"I haven't really been focused as much as I should be on the music part of my career, because the movie has consumed every inch of me. Between that and my four children, I don't have the time or energy for anything else."

I believe I just heard a super loud can o' worms being opened somewhere.

Honestly, she may be one of the greatest pop stars of all time, but she hasn't been relevant in the music industry in almost too long, so maybe it is time for her to refocus. Personally, it won't bother me if she does, since I've never been a big fan of her attention whore ways.





Remember this innocence? Yeah, me neither.



VS
Last week may have shown the lowest voter turnout ever, with Cheryl beating out Britney in a dominating 1-0 landslide. Was everyone busy that week? I know Cheryl's got plenty of newer fans, so seeing only one vote for her was almost as shocking as seeing 0 for Britney from the old school fans. But then, I didn't vote either, so I'll have to digress. Maybe this week's will be more interesting.

Anyway, this week is a Destiny's Child showdown with Kelly "I Got Murdered By Freddy... or Was It Jason?" Rowland VS. Beyoncé "Last Name No Longer Necessary" Knowles! Kelly recently went on record to say that there is no feud between the two, but that's not how we handle things here on the 5 & 1. Somebody's going down! Who will be the Survivor? FIGHT!






Kelly VS Beyoncé


VOTE BELOW



CELEBRITY TWITTER A-GO-GO
The best song to fuck to, period. Too bad I havent...so go do it for me! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7ts7jviLU0 @nineinchnails


How can someone that's married to a Brady STILL be so awesome, not to mention obscenely hot?




Anyone else wanna wrap their snake around her?



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And of course you can follow Adam for random thoughts on music amongst many, many other things.



5 THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ORIANTHI
Orianthi is a rising star out of Australia. Most people who are familiar with her already know she was set to be the lead guitarist for Michael Jackson's ill-fated This Is It tour, but she's also making a name for herself on her own after the release of her album Believe. But aside from being awesome on the ax and receiving approval from a megastar like MJ, what else do you know about Orianthi? Here are 5 things you probably didn't.


1 She chose to leave school and pursue her music career at the ripe old age of 15.
2 She's played onstage with legendary acts like Steve Vai, Prince, ZZ Top, and Santana.
3 She plays Eco-friendly guitars.
4 She's touring with Adam Lambert this summer.
5 She was asked by Carrie Underwood to join her band after performing guitar for her at the 2009 Grammy Awards. (P.S. If I were as awesome as Orianthi on guitar, I'd stay away from country too, so huzzah!)

You learn something new every day.






VIDEO A-GO-GO!
Betty White made her highly-anticipated (and requested) debut as the host of SNL this past Saturday for Mother's Day weekend, and unsurprisingly, she got her own digital short. All I can say is... FUCK YEAH! BETTY WHITE IS METAL!!!





Groovy, now onto the 5.







Lady Gaga loses her underwear
In a strange twist that likely won't gain her very much bad PR, Lady Gaga appears to have some undergarments that have gone AWOL.

Lingerie makers Rigby and Peller loaned seven sets of the handmade Autumn/Winter 2010 catalogue to the "Bad Romance" singer for a new music video. The problem? Only three of them were returned.

A spokeswoman for R&P was quoted as saying:

"Obviously we were delighted that Lady Gaga wanted to use our new pieces in her next video but we did stress we needed them back in plenty of time for our press show. They are all hand-made and unique designs that are simply priceless and are not available anywhere in the world so we are really disappointed not to get them back in time for our major showcase of the year. The last we heard the underwear was still 'Awol' and we are not sure when we will see them again. If we don't get them back then it could hold up the whole production of our AW10 collection as they are the prototypes."

Here's the thing: I'm a pretty big fan of Gaga, so I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. She doesn't seem like the kind of person who would just keep something that was loaned to her, especially when given specific returning instructions. I'm sure they just got lost in the TransAtlantic flight or something similar. Sucks for the clothing line though, as it's understandable that they don't want product like that going out early without a very good reason.

Seriously though, if Gaga can get away with even half the stuff she's worn in public, she won't get a big backlash for something like this.






Bobby Brown gets engaged onstage.
Bobby Brown, the former Mr. Whitney Houston, has proposed to his girlfriend/manager of 3 years onstage in front of a Jacksonville, FL audience. The crowd in attendance roared with applause and approval upon her acceptance.

Gets you right there, doesn't it?

Nothing against the happy sanctity of marriage, but when it comes to someone as irrelevant as Bobby Brown, I just can't find myself really caring. I mean, it's a waste of time to discuss who was the crazier of the two between Brown and Houston, but at the end of the day, if he's found happiness, then good for him. Maybe Whitney can also get out of her slump... and when that happens, I'll make sure some pigs start flying.






Speaking of happy couples...

Russell Brand threatens to leak pics of Katy Perry.
Russell Brand of "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" fame, and star of the upcoming spinoff "Get Him to the Greek," has jokingly threatened to post naked pictures of his fiancée, pop star Katy Perry.

Brand has stated in an interview:

""Katy, that little cow, keeps calling me a 'bridezilla'. Travis Cocker wrote 'Just Say Yes', the single we're releasing from the film, and for that, one of the costumes I wore was a wedding dress. I sent Katy a picture and she put it on the internet and goes, 'Oh look at him, he's obsessed with this wedding'."

Cute, but I side with Brand on that one. I'd be pissed if something of mine that's out of context was put on the internet. At least he's taking it lightly. Here's the rest:

"I'm trying to think of a way to get revenge. Let me tell you, there are photos of her on my phone that could go nuclear!"

He wisely backpedalled back after this, because he realized that doing so would probably earn him a severe castration. I wouldn't bank on any of this happening, though. As much as the internet is probably begging for nude photos of Ms. Perry, the ramifications on both of their personal lives would be monstrous. But then, Lindsay Lohan continues to have a career and have the spotlight continuously thrust upon her, so I suppose anything's possible.





Amy Winehouse wedding off.
According to sources, Blake Fielder-Civil has called off his second wedding to Amy Winehouse.

The sources are saying that Blake is pissed at pictures that surfaced of Amy getting up close and personal with a neighbor. He confronted her about the incident, but didn't get the answers that he was looking for. He plans to go back into rehab. Amy is trying to get in touch with Blake, but he is not returning her calls.

Now for my two cents... UGH! Amy Fucking Winehouse?! REALLY?! Man, I just do not get it with this woman. She's one music star that I just could never understand the appeal for. She's not attractive (to say the least), her vocals are horrible, and her songs just aren't very well-written. But then she goes and wins some Grammies and suddenly my opinion isn't treading water. Ah, such is the world...

Blake should consider himself lucky. In addition to being nothing pleasant to look at, the crazy broad has been in and out of drug use almost as much as Whitney Houston, which is amazing for someone 20 years her junior. I just wish the attention would stop, but heaven knows she'll be out with another "masterpiece" sometime this decade anyway.

Anyway, good for Blake on wisening up. Maybe he'll stay away for good this time, even if he's in rehab himself.






Taylor Swift leads a double life.
Taylor Swift has said that she feels that she leads a double life. She recently stated in an interview with Contactmusic:

"Sometimes I feel like I lead a double life. One minute I'll be negotiating a contract and the next I'll be at home with my friends. It's always been like that, even at school. I went to class, studied for tests and had crushes on boys, and then after school I'd go downtown to Music Row in Nashville and write songs."

I'm torn on this one. On the one hand, it's kinda hard to feel sorry for Taylor since she's not even of legal age until later this year, yet she's already made more money off of record sales and concert attendance in the last few years than most of us will make in our entire lives combined.

On the other, it's not unnatural for a girl her age to yearn for a normal life rather than have to put up with the day-to-day BS of being a very in-demand artist. Sadly, you can't have one without the other, and this is the path she chose.

I'm personally not a fan, but I don't have anything against her either. Maybe if she's lucky and doesn't get caught up in things that she shouldn't (I'm looking at YOU, Amy Winehouse and Lindsay Lohan), then maybe she can retire early and live out her late 20s and early 30s with a clean slate and no pressure.






Now it's time for the reason you're here, the ‘&1 Model of the Week'.







She's a famous supermodel for Victoria's Secret, and she made her acting debut as Cover Girl in 2009's G.I. Joe. Now she's the & 1 Model of the Week. Ladies and gentlemen... Karolina Kurkova!













One for the Road can be anything at all, as long as it is music related (no matter how tenuous). Feel free to send in any suggestions for a topic or specific item you'd like to see here in the future.


Since I mentioned the review earlier, I'll close out with the same. This is the video for Sweethead's lead single from the first album, called "The Great Disruptors."





And with that, I'm outta here. Adam will (hopefully) be back in seven.