The Music 5 & 1 07.07.10: The Retro Edition

Posted by Adam Hill on 07.07.2010

What is Katy Perry afraid of? Plus, J-Lo angers a nation, Prince kills off the internet, Justin Bieber heads to North Korea, Cheryl gets bitten and some retro features including a classic Vs between Tiffany and Debbie Gibson, 5 Things about Grace Jones and Sam Fox is your &1 Model of the Week!

BEFORE WE BEGIN…
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Children of all ages, I'm your host Adam Hill and this is the place to be for all your music news, gossip and scandal needs. Welcome to The Music 5 & 1. This week we're going retro as all the features have a decidedly 80's feel about them.

Once you're done here you should go check out the original 5&1 by 411's resident Gossip King Steve Gustafson, he gives good headlines.

Are you still hungry for more 5 & 1 goodness? Then hop on over to the Wrestling zone and check out The Wrestling 5&1.

I hope you guys have all been checking out 411 Music's Essential Summer Albums Feature. Dan Wilcox has done a great job pulling it all together, Part 3 went up today and don't forget to check out Part 1 and Part 2.

Finally, last week I asked you all if Katie Price should be allowed into the Music 5 & 1 following the release of her latest single. Thankfully the nicest comment I got about her was that she looked like a "Tranny". I took that to mean ‘no'.


No huge stories this week but a few little ones to enjoy, let's get this show on the road.






WHO SAID WHAT?
"I was scared for my life to get off the hookah, everyone else is smoking everything else. I was saying to myself, 'If that s**t still gets Snoop high, if I breathe it in I will die. I will be on a permanent balloon'. I was like, 'Hold on to the hookah'."

Katy Perry admitted to Esquire magazine that she was scared to smoke marijuana with Snoop Dogg because of the potency of what the rapper was smoking and decided to stick to tobacco.







VS
As expected, last week Kylie won the battle of the Minogues when she beat little sister Dannii 5-2.

This week, in keeping with the retro feel, we're taking it back to the 80's and pitting two of pops teen-star rivals against each other, one last time. Of course, as Perez Hilton knows all too well, there are laws against that kind of thing when it comes to teenagers so we're going to use photos from when they were both a little older, old enough to do Playboy to be exact. Ladies and Gentlemen, one thought she was alone now, the other could feel the power of the electric youth, it's Tiffany Vs Debbie Gibson. FIGHT!


Tiffany Vs Debbie Gibson





VOTE BELOW

Don't forget, you can always suggest future participants in Vs either via the comments section or by e-mail at [e-mail]



5 THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT GRACE JONES
Last week, in the comments section, Zero said:
"Great column

Next week request: Grace Jones pics pls, she's hot as fuck!

Now, Grace Jones has never done it for me but who am I to deny a reader? Especially one who starts his comments so well? Also, using Grace Jones this week inspired the whole retro approach so if you enjoy it, you're welcome, if you don't, blame Zero.

Here are five things you didn't know about Grace Jones.

1) She is a highly stylized vocalist and is technically a ‘contralto'. She sings in two modes—in her monotone speak-sing as in songs such as "Private Life," "Walking in the Rain," and "The Apple Stretching" and in an almost-soprano mode in songs such as "La Vie en Rose" and "Slave to the Rhythm."

2) In 1981 she felt that UK chat show host Russell Harty was ignoring her by turning to talk to other guests, so she slapped him, live on air.

3) On November 3, 2006, Jones took part in a gathering of people sharing the same surname, performing "Slave to the Rhythm" and "Pull up to the Bumper" to a large crowd of Joneses. 1,224 people were gathered that day at the Wales Millennium Centre in Cardiff, breaking the previous record for the largest surname-based gathering.

4) She has only ever been nominated for one Grammy Award, in 1983 in the ‘Best Long Form Music Video' category for her "A One Man Show"
MTV Video Music Award

5) She was ranked 82 on VH1's '100 Greatest Women of Rock and Roll'.

Bonus Fact She's part dinosaur.



Extra Bonus Fact She's part something else weird too.



You learn something new every day.






VIDEO A-GO-GO!
As its 80's week this week I thought we should go with the best music video of the decade, but with a twist. Check out this literal interpretation of the video to Ah-Ha's "Take On Me".





BONUS VIDEO A-GO-GO!
As a bonus this week, here is my favorite 80's music video parody. Starring Hugh Grant and taken from the film Music & Lyrics, this is "Pop Goes My Heart".





BUBBLING UNDER
These are the stories that didn't quite make the cut when I put the column together. I'll drop a quick synopsis, or joke, about each story and from time to time I'll also include some made up news, just for fun.

Men At Work ordered to pay back 5% of royalties received since 2002 for their 1983 hit "Down Under".
Men confirm they will need to work a bit harder to make the cash.

George Michael crashes his car into Snappy Snaps photo shop.
One Hour Photo just isn't quick enough.

Condoleeza Rice and Aretha Frankin to duet at charity concert.
Does that mean that I have to feature Condie in the 5 & 1 now?




It's time to crank this mother up to 11 as we take a look at 5 news stories from the last week and one, smoking, hottie.







Prince – new album, same old crazy.
Prince has been making with the outlandish statements again this week as he promotes his new album 20Ten which is being given away free this weekend with copies of The Mirror and Daily Record.

In a multi-part interview that The Mirror is running in advance of the giveaway, Prince was quoted as saying "The internet's completely over. I don't see why I should give my new music to iTunes or anyone else. They won't pay me an advance for it and then they get angry when they can't get it. The internet's like MTV. At one time MTV was hip and suddenly it became outdated. Anyway, all these computers and digital gadgets are no good. They just fill your head with numbers and that can't be good for you."

Ok, here we go with my obligatory disclaimer, I love Prince. I've made no secret of my love for the man's music, however, I do think he is prone to the odd moment of bat-shit-craziness from time to time. The internet is not over, we all know that. Digital music sales are booming and probably will continue to do so. That said he is not entirely wrong in one respect. He made more money off Planet Earth by giving it away free with a newspaper than he did with lotus3-whatever-it-was-called by selling it online.

If you were starting to worry that maybe he was starting to make sense, fear not as the interview continued on Tuesday.

"Playing electric guitar your whole life does something to you. I'm convinced all that electricity racing through your body made me keep my hair."

That's right people, playing electric guitar prevents baldness. His Royal Badness is back and he's as bonkers as ever.






Cyprus is pissed at J-Lo
Jennifer Lopez is in hot water after angering the people of Cyprus by accepting an invitation to the opening of a new hotel because the launch coincides with anniversary of the Island's Turkish invasion.

The singer has been booked to attend the opening night of the five-star luxury hotel Cratos Premium - located in the Turkish Cypriot part of the island - but officials at the Cyprus Action Network of America have launched a campaign calling for the gig to be canceled because it falls on the anniversary of the day Turkish troops invaded the Greek island in 1974.

According to The Guardian, a letter from the organization reads "It is with dismay and shock that the people of Cyprus and especially the Greek Cypriot women in the Republic of Cyprus and elsewhere in the world heard the news that you intend to attend the inauguration of a hotel in the occupied by Turkey (sic) part of our native country. The Turks go to a great lengths to secure support from people like you in order to promote their political ambitions and objectives. Does your charitable work and status permit you to give credibility to Turkish rapists, thieves, invaders, occupiers of our stolen properties?"

Blimey, they don't mince their words do they? I mean, I know her recent work hasn't been up to much really but I wouldn't go so far as to say it gave credibility to rapists and thieves. Still, despite this, the hotel and Jenny from the block insist the function will go ahead. Look out for the column near the end of the month where I report on all the crazy shit that went down at the party and the protests that took place.







Did the love bug give Cheryl Tweedy malaria?
Cheryl Tweedy/Cole has been forced to pull out of tapings of The X-Factor after collapsing at a photo shoot and being diagnosed with malaria. She was initially thought to be suffering from exhaustion but tests for the disease came back positive.

Cheryl is believed to have contracted the disease while on holiday in Tanzania after being whisked away for a romantic break by Derek Hough. So romantic in fact that sources at the hotel where they stayed say she spent most of the break on her own, watching DVDs and receiving spa treatments. I could understand if he was off watching the World Cup but weren't the USA already out by then?

Cheryl had been complaining of feeling tired before she collapsed and another source said, "Cheryl hadn't been feeling herself for about a week [after returning on June 22nd]. She was feeling tired and listless. In the end, this must have been the beginnings of the [illness]. During Sunday afternoon, Cheryl went downhill quickly. She was sweating and shaking and in a bad way. Doctors are concerned that her immune system is weaker because she's been working so hard. They believe this may make it harder for her to recover quickly."





Hopefully she will now listen to her friends, family and medical advice and cut down on her workload to help with the recovery. I'm not a huge fan of her music ("Parachute" was ok) but I never like to hear about anyone falling ill. Not even Justin Bieber. Speaking of the mop-topped pop munchkin, what do we have here?



Has Kim Jong-il been struck by Bieber-Fever?
Justin Bieber could be on his way to North Korea after a public vote on his My World Tour page was hijacked. Users on (my new heroes) website 4Chan nominated North Korea on the free vote and it's gone viral.



Bwing me Bieber

There are now almost half a million votes to send Bieber to the secretive communist nation.
The contest, which ends today, saw North Korea move from 24th to 1st place in less than two days, several thousand votes ahead of Israel. It is not known if Kim Jong-il is a fan of Justin Bieber's music or indeed if he orchestrated the campaign. If he wasn't responsible then you'd imagine Justin is going to have to jump through any number of hoops to get into the country. It will certainly be more difficult than walking through a door.



(That's 6 by the way)

This campaign is not the first time Bieber has been the target of an internet prank in recent weeks. Last month, a post on 4Chan urged users to search for the term "Justin Bieber Syphilis" pushing it to the top of Google top searches list. His YouTube videos and Last FM page have also been hit with the videos redirecting users to adult websites or triggering pop-up messages saying that the Canadian singer had died in a car crash. This lead to false rumors circulating that Bieber had died, as well as some that he had joined a cult, and that his mother was offered $50,000 to pose topless in Playboy magazine.

Bieber made a couple of statements, via Twitter, to quash the stories.
"Let's take some time to answer some crazy rumors... I'm not dead"

"My mum is a moral woman... let's just leave that one for what it is... because that rumor just grossed and weirded me out."

Poor Justin, if only life was as easy as exiting a building.



Oh yeah. Doh!


If you could name your kid after any musician in the world, who would it be?
Ok, so this isn't technically music news but it was just too good to resist. Ian Clark has apparently tried too hard to get on the good side of his four-year old step-daughter after he took up her suggestion that hew new baby sister be named after Lady Gaga.

Newborn Meggie Maisie Lady GaGa may be the cutest little thing you've ever seen in your life (she isn't btw, that'd be my daughter) but, as you might imagine, her mother is pissed:

"I can't believe he actually went ahead and did it. Ian thought it was a really good idea but I told him no way. The registrar asked three times if there was anything he wanted to change about the name but he didn't back down. It's still strange to look at the birth certificate now."

There's only one thing to say to this, Senator Davis, if you wouldn't mind.






Now it's time for the reason you're here, the ‘&1 Model of the Week'.







Finally this week we sign off with a classic 80's model turned singer, Sam Fox. Enjoy.












And with that, I'm outta here, see you in seven.