The Love/Hate News Report 01.12.12: H To The Illuminati
Posted by John Downey on 01.12.2012
News and thoughts on Jay-Z and Beyonce's baby upending the world, At the Drive-In and the Refused reuniting, the LCD Soundsystem documentary, Tommi Iommi's illness, Peaches Geldof being pregnant and more!
Welcome to the only music news report written by someone who just saw a news report about a murder-suicide taking place on the path of his nightly walks, the Love/Hate News Report! And no, I'm not kidding. How could I be kidding? That would require me to be a horrible human being with a terrible sense of humor and taste. Ahem.
I've been playing quite a bit of WWE 12 online, and though my experience is mostly a pleasurable one, I feel as though I need to harp on something. You see, a character (and, indeed, a person) is defined by their flaws, not their strengths. The other day, I played a kid who had a maxed-out Homicide. Bleurgh.
Nick Krenn's Major Bands, Minor Labels looks at music that you may have missed because you looked the other way for more than twelve seconds. His other column, The Music 3R's, praises Lana del Rey and deconstructs a Kanye West rant. Clearly, Nick is a man of the people. C.A. Bell's Ten Deep looks at the best reissued albums of 2011. I'm guessing that the only reason he didn't mention Pearl Jam's Vs is because the reissue still contains Vs.
Oh, and Apples to Apples on Xbox Live? Hell to the yes. Anyway...
Okay, here's how this works: I find eight news bites per week, and complain about them. Except when I like them, in which case I'll rave about them. That is relatively speaking, of course. I'm a bit of a scoundrel who remains negative about most matters, so to let you know when I'm not trying to drown you in sarcasm/hate, I have helpful little visual reminders letting you know when I think something is a good thing. For reasons concerning symmetry, I've put indicators around the parts where I'm ranting.
If you don't agree with me, that's what the comment section is for. Go ahead and air your grievances in a matter that you find to be most appropriate. If you troll hard enough, I might cry. I will never admit to tearing up, of course, but you'll know when it happens when you get that warm feeling in your heart.
Baby Mania, Part One
Obviously, the biggest story of the week is that Peaches Geldof is pregnant. The daughter of Bob Geldof got engaged last month to the lead singer of S.C.U.M. while still legally married to someone else. And people thought that Katy Perry and Russell Brand had an interesting divorce…
Seriously, though, the biggest story of the week is that Beyonce has given birth to her first child, Blue Ivy Carter. Beyonce announced her pregnancy in a publicity stunt last year, and Jay-Z celebrated the birth of his first child by a new song, "Glory ft. B.I.C.". If God is an ironist, Blue is going to have a completely uneventful life and not be into music in the slightest.
Congratulations to both couples, and I wish y'all luck in keeping your kids normal…because, as I detail below, you're gonna need it.
Baby Mania, Part Two
Blue Ivy Carter isn't even a week old and already she has been accused of being a Satanist and a tool of the Illuminati. You see, Blue stands for "Born Living Under Evil" and Ivy stands for "Illuminati's Victorious Youth"—at least according to conspiracy theorists. I've sounded off on Illuminati theorists before, so let me address these bullshit backronyms. With the versatility of the English language, it is conceivable that any name, idea, or whatever could stand for something evil. "Happy" could stand for "Heretic Asshole Piss Poor Youth", "Day" could stand for "Death And Yogurt", and "Sun" could stand for "Satan's Unique Nymph". I know that some folk too readily accept coincidence and circumstantial evidence as fact, but I don't have to like it.
Thankfully, none of this thinking has festered to the point of physical manifestation. It's not like anyone would vandalize a church sign declaring Blue Ivy Carter to be a sign of Satan's arrival.
Oh. Right. Somewhere in North Carolina, a village is missing their idiot.
OH MY FUCKING GOD
Yes, the profanity is necessary, and fuck you if you disagree.
On early Monday, word broke that At The Drive-In, one of the best punk-rock bands of all the times, were going to reunite. The band is scheduled to perform at Coachella, but the band has yet to reveal what they plan on doing after Coachella. For folks who are not familiar with At The Drive-In, their 2000 album, Relationship of Command, is considered to be one of the best rock albums of the past decade. The band split soon after Relationship's release, splitting into the horrible rock act Sparta and the even worse prog-rock outfit The Mars Volta. Members of ATDI were shooting down rumors of a reunion as late as last Spring, making this reunion even more surprising.
That would have been enough to make my week, but then the defunct hardcore-punk-rock band the Refused put out a statement declaring that they were going to reunite. To give you some context, the Refused split up fourteen years ago, and the members have blasted both each other and anyone who suggested or asked about a reunion. A documentary about the band's last days was titled Refused Are Fucking Dead, so, yeah, this came pretty much out of nowhere. Their last album, 1998's The Shape of Punk to Come, is my second-favorite album of the 1990s, and with the band's reunion, I wouldn't mind if the world ended this year. The Refused have gotten back together? Yeah, I can die happy.
What Could Have Been
Coachella looks to be an amazing show. On top of the reunions mentioned above, Coachella will host Radiohead, Dr. Dre, The Black Keys, Snoop Dogg, and plenty of other acts who aren't At The Drive-In or the Refused. The only thing lacking from the lineup is a significant metal act—though, as it turns out, there was a big name attached to the show.
Last November, Black Sabbath announced plans for a new album (their first with Ozzy Osbourne in over thirty years) and a tour in 2012. The band was supposed to headline Coachella, but unfortunately, Tommy Iommi was diagnosed with lymphoma, and those plans were scrapped. To the band's credit, it would have been easy and profitable to find a replacement and perform at Coachella, and I admire them for sticking by their friend. I'm just frustrated by this whole turn of events.
…Awkward transition!
LCD Soundsystem Documentary To Be Released Soon
I maintain that LCD Soundsystem aren't nearly as much of a big deal as frontman James Murphy claims it was, but facts are facts—the band was a big deal, and some of the work put out under the LCD Soundsystem banner was incredible. The band played their last show in April, and it seemed as though that was to be that. Then this trailer was released:
Like I said, I'm not the biggest fan of the band, but if Shut Up and Play the Hits fulfills its potential, this will be the Stop Making Sense of our generation. Color me intrigued.
Finally, A Reason To Not Like Ron Paul
I don't like to talk politics, but I guess stories like this demand a little bit of talk in the matter. I'm a Democrat, but if there's any guy who has a chance at unseating Obama, it is Ron Paul. Not that my vote matters anyway—after all, I live in Massachusetts.
On Wednesday, the Twitter accounts for three music acts—Nicole Sherzinger, No Doubt, and Rise Against—were hacked by Ron Paul supporters, with messages supporting Ron Paul being sent from their accounts. The accounts have since been taken back by the artists, and the offending tweets deleted. Look, I like Ron Paul's ideas, and I hope he's the guy who represents the Republican party in November, but folks, this is not the way to get people on your side.
And One More Jay-Z Newsbite For The Road
Blue Ivy Carter already has something going for her that most babies don't have—a spot on the Billboard charts. Jay-Z's "Glory", which features a sample of Blue Ivy Carter crying, has reached #74 on Billboard's R&B/Hip-Hop Charts. This is the highest a baby has charted since Justin Bieber. That's right.
In all seriousness, Blue Ivy Carter is now the youngest person to have a song chart on Billboard, and I doubt that record will ever be broken. I'd say "take that, conspiracy theorists", but this likely plays into some of their wackier theories. Still, though, B.I.C. has already done something that most people have ever done, and she's not even a week old yet.
Deaths In Music This Week
Puerto Rican singer and Senator Ruth Fernandez passed away on January 9 due to complications from septic shock and pneumonia. Fernandez broke gender and racial barriers in her heyday, and served in Puerto Rico's Senate from 1973 through 1980. Her country declared three days of official mourning after Fernandez passed. She was 92.
On behalf of 411mania, I extend my condolences to the friends and family of the deceased.
And with that, we come to this week's playlist. This week, I decided to highlight At The Drive-In's Relationship of Command as a way to celebrate their reunion. Enjoy.
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Albums To Love From 2011
January: Kaputt, Destroyer
February: Higher Learning 2, Fashawn
March: All Eternals Deck, Mountain Goats
April: Return Of 4eva, Big K.R.I.T.
May: Own Your Ghost, 13 & God
June: Blacked Up, Shabazz Palaces
July: Punch Perm, Dream Jefferson
August: Watch The Throne, Jay-Z and Kanye West
September: Father, Son, Holy Ghost, Girls
October: Hurry Up, We're Dreaming, M83
November: iSLAND, G-Side
December: Undun, The Roots
Cheap plug: Earbuddy. Damn good source of music news and views. "Like" it on Facebook, too. I wrote a review for Sam Lachow's Brand New Bike, and the latest edition of my other column, "Own It Or Disown It", in which I look at Sufjan Stevens's Illinoise, is up as well.
And here it is, this week's Video To Love…
THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!
See you in seven...if you're lucky.
Baby Mania, Part One
Baby Mania, Part Two
