The Low End Theory 1.13.12: The Too Sweet Edition

Posted by Tony Acero on 01.13.2012

News and thoughts on Snoop Dogg's arrest, Beyonce and Jay-Z's baby having ties to the Illuminati, Common dissing Drake again, Lil Wayne releasing his prison memoirs, Khloe Kardashian's daddy drama, DMX's encounter with a crazed fan and more!



It's Friday!!! Ok, actually, it's Thursday, but I am assuming you are reading this on Friday and there's nothing you can do to change my mind. I'm in a good, but relatively tired mood as of now. Monday was the first day of school, but it was also Momma's birthday and we partied like only that woman knows how: tons of tequila and excessive music. On a Monday. While the moment was great, the morning after, when I had to go to class early as hell, was just not fun. Since Monday, I've stayed up quite late every night. It appears that my night life version of Tony doesn't really agree with the early morning guy. They must not be communicating. Nonetheless, I am here, ready to fill ya in on all the week's happenings! Some interesting tidbits I have chose for you this week that include Snoop getting arrested and some ire thwarted towards Jay and Beyonce for their baby's name. Also, for only the second time ever, our buddy Hope will not be joining us this week. Some familial issues have made it so that she is unable to attend our weekly hip hop meeting. I wish her the best and look forward to seeing her next week.

Video of the Week
Make it Nasty - Tyga
My girl Natalie makes this subpar and below average song into a thing of beauty...remember the name, she's coming soon.





- DMX recently came to Long Beach, CA, a city only minutes away from me and home of my school, only to be met by a crazed fan running up to him and locking his arms around the neck of X. I'm simply reporting this to assure you all that it wasn't me. I'd never hug him, he strikes me as the type that stinks

- With one tweet from 50Cent, saying "I don't think I'm going to live much longer," fans everywhere began to worry about possible suicide attempts from the rapper. Personally, I was hoping he meant his music.

- Lil Wayne is said to release his prison memoirs. I'm expecting this to be as far from Shawshank Redemption as ever.




Common Still Thinks Drake is "Sweet"

OOOOOWWWEEEE!!! Finally, someone went in on Drake, and I'm lovin it! A couple of weeks ago, I let y'all know that Common's song "Sweet" was rumored to be aimed towards Drake. Some people thought this was an exaggeration. When Common was asked, he said that if Drake feels it was aimed towards him, then so be it. If he feels he fits the bill, then there it is. Essentially, if the boot fits...and I'm tellin you right now, that shit fits just right. Anyways, to clear up any confusion, Common laid out a track, allowing everyone to assure themselves that yes, Drake is the target.



Personally, I love it. Let me make my stance on Drake clear. He's got immense talent. He's got some bangers that I LOVE listen to! I'm stuck on "The Motto" right now, to be honest. It's just that his album, especially the most recent one, is just fucking horrible. I'm all for a man showing emotion, but I'm sayin, it seems so fabricated, so fake, and that's the last thing I want to listen to. I don't like being lied to, and I feel like the entire album is a ploy, a facade, and simply not targeted for me. Now then, this little diss was heard by Birdman and Co. and Birdman himself said that this is completely up to Drake, and whatever it is he does, they all stand behind him. I doubt this will go past a sly mention in a song or two, but point blank, I'm happy someone let Drake know that his soft shit is extremely transparent.


Snoop Arrested for...What?

This past weekend, Snoop was pulled over during a routine check point in Texas. Drug sniffing dogs turned on their brethren Snoop when they sniffed out a prescription bottle of marijuana. Just under half an ounce, according to reports. What I find so amazing about this is the fact that I don't recall this happening to Snoop, at least not recently. This location is said to have been the same place that Willie Nelson was stopped for, and for the same reason. Snoop was said to have had a prescription for it, but it appears that Texas is a no tolerance state for the chronic and Snoop got caught up. He was cited for possession and released, however if he is convicted, he could face about 6 months in prison. Of course, this shit ain't going down. I mean, it's Snoop. I find this story too funny not to print, as marijuana is taken as anything but serious nowadays, at least in California. It's interesting to see a state take it so seriously and I'm curious to see the end result of this all.


Baby Blue is Born

In some happy news, the power couple of Jay-Z and Beyonce recently welcomed their very own child into this world of glitz and glamour. Blue Ivy Carter was born on Saturday, January 7th, 2012. This, coming with the news that one of my closer friends is pregnant just brings a smile to my face. Personally, I am not the type of person that wants kids in the future (although, I'm only 25, what do I know, right?) but that doesn't mean I can't indulge in the awesomeness of childbirth and procreation. At the very least, sex is always a cool thing to applaud, right? Well Mr. and Mrs. Carter seem to be very happy with the birth, as they seem like a very happy family. Of course, no celebrity child birth is complete without gossip of how much they spent on this or that, who they pissed off and just how much the nursery room is. While I've seen various reports, I truly have little to no interest in this type of news. I simply want to take the time to congratulate the two on their newborn baby and wish them the best of luck in this world. One very interesting ramification of Beyonce and Jay having a child leads directly into our Douche of the Week, and boy am I heated....


Douche of the Week:
The Illuminati Theorists

Tony Acero:
Only a few short weeks after my piece on The Illuminati, shit like this comes out. From the moment the baby was born, Jay Z and Beyonce had to battle a barrage of rumors of The Illuminati and its ties with their daughter. Rumors that tie her name directly with Satan, to turning it into an acronym for the weirdest shit fathomable. The internet truly is a shameless medium where stupidity runs rampant and idiots are free to roam the depths of it, creating a persona that some look up to and agree with. This mob mentality of idiocy is only a small issue I have with the world, but it's still oh so apparent. I've been called a sheep, a toy and a puppet of the illuminati due to my stances, but I honestly feel that I am my own person. Seriously, I'm selfish as fuck. For some one (or ones) to take the act of child birth, to take a human being, and to tie it to the actuality of being - essentially - Satan on earth is one of the most asinine accusations out there. Once again, rather than applauding a couple for their newfound child, there's some behind the scenes, big time story that means the end is near and the devil is here. Look, I truly don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, and I really don't give a fuck. I'm happy for myself and for everyone else that is breathing. These people, however - these douches - really need to look within themselves to find whatever the hell it is that is causing them to create such a story as this. I'm no religious man, not at all, but really? REALLY? Born Living Under Evil? That's not even a good one! I could come up with many better ones, but Walter already has.

Walter Reyes:
What it do people!? I am on a good one right now. Had some adult beverages at lunch with one of the coolest bosses I have ever had and now I am using company time to write this week's edition of Douche of the Week…WOOP! WOOP! I really love this week's D.O.W. because it touches on a topic that truly interests me. In my opinion, the world is run by a handful of people. I love entertaining the idea of secret societies because the fact is that from the beginning of man we have broken ourselves into groups. We divided ourselves into tribes during the cave man years and as we evolved so did the names of our groups from political parties, religions to gangs. Somewhere in that evolution, secret groups were born. I myself am a member of an exclusive group. I am a Sigma Pi from Cal State Fullerton…yes a fuckin frat boy! There is no doubt in my mind that secret societies exist - some of which can be compared to Brain from Pinky and the Brain as they try to take over the world on a daily basis. [Editor's Note: And some that can be compared to Pinky, I would say]. In recent years a certain group that has such a reputation has interested me. We all know them as the Illuminati. The highest ranking secret society in all the land they say. World leaders have been associated with this group.

Some of the richest men in the world have also been tied to this particular cult and the most recent member…the newest Illuminati to hit the block has been announced … ladies and gents meet BLUE IVY! The spawn of two so called members of this evil and demonic cult that is the Illuminati. Some of the coldest people to hit the world scene … they are none other than Jay Z and Beyonce!!! I am going to tell you right now that I don't think the Illuminati allows black people or any minority for that matter so that right there in my opinion makes this claim a crock of shit!!! Straight up! The Illuminati started with nothing but white powerful intelligent men but unfortunately during the most racist time in our history so I am pretty sure there is a law in their manual that says, no colored people allowed…EVER!

Blue Ivy is barely a week old and she is already the subject of stupidity. Her name Blue Ivy has been fucked with all over the Internet, mainly on Twitter. People just have too much fuckin time on their hands and if you don't believe me check out the following ideas regarding the significance of her name and what Blue Ivy "really" stands for. Some geniuses think the name Blue stands for 'Born Living Under Evil' and that the that name Ivy is there simply to mean 'Illuminati's Very Youngest' or 'Illuminati's Victorious Youth'. Another rumor was that the name Blue Ivy means "Lucifer's Daughter" spelt backwards. It has been suggested that in Latin Blue Ivy spelt backwards spells "Eulb Yvi" which translates as "Lucifer's Daughter." I think Blue stands for, "Baller Living Unemployed Everyday" or "Blueballs Left Unattended Everywhere" and Ivy stands for, "I'm Vicious Yall" or "Iconic Vagina Yahoooooo" or "I'm Visiting Youngmoney". Who the fuck really knows except her momma and her daddy!!!???

So to sum it all up this week's douche of the week is dumb fucks that have too much time on their hands and spread ridiculous rumors that have no backing.

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See you next week with a special guest star video! You've seen her before, and you love her! Well, I do...right, Randyl?

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Outkast - Elevator (Me & You)

Yo, Tony here! I wanted to introduce you guys to a hip hop head that you will be meeting in depth soon. With an upcoming mix tape, I wanted to get in the mind of one Brian Page. I asked him what hip hop song he would suggest as a Throwback Track of the Week and rather than just giving me a song, he gave me a well written and deep thought. Join him as he expresses his feelings behind "Elevator."

Me and you, yo' momma and yo' cousin too, can all be accused of bumping this joint at one point in time. Unconditionally head bobbin' to the seemingly intoxicating instrumental, while singing along in harmony with that perfect blend of style, technical prowess and Southern G-Funk. Outkast has the uncanny ability to turn anyone into a rapping, singing, Gemini (or should I say, Aquemini). Hell, my hair would even straighten out into that perfect "Stankonia" perm if I hit every note just right.

"Rollin' down the strip on vooooogues…"

I sure as hell didn't have any Cadillac doors to slam back in ‘99 when I first heard this cut, but that simple detail didn't stop me from flashin' the fresh 2 def rims on my Mongoose bicycle as I cruised down the block to school each morning. My headphones weren't lying to me, this was good music-I knew that much. Could I relate though? Maybe in the most basic sense of the word, but that didn't matter. I had been introduced to a world of hip-hop I had never heard before. Outkast became my hip-hop foundation, and I wasn't the only one. Everyone seemed to be vibing to the sounds of these GA geniuses.

"Yea I like some hip-hop, like Outkast, Eminem, Jay-Z…"

Back in the day, that seemed to be the typical answer to the question, "Do you like hip-hop music?" Outkast was almost always the first to spring off the tongue, they were infectious. They managed to pioneer a unique and authentic sound that to this day, is considered classic without a moment's hesitation. With all that being said, take a moment to listen to this cut again but this time immerse yourselves within the story behind the creation of the dynamic duo.

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That's all for this week folk----whoa, whoa, whoa....it appears that The Low End Theory is NOT, I repeat, NOT over! For those that have been reading for quite some time, you know the name Joseph Paige Jr. A close friend of mine who is one of the more eclectic hip hop heads I know. Gaga Fan extraordinaire and the man who perfected the Giggle-Stomp has something to say about Kim Kardashian! Go ahead, Joseph...the floor's yours! Oh, and follow this man! @joejpaige



Who's Khloe's Daddy?

Looking at the Kardashian's latest annual Christmas card you can't help but notice Khloe Kardashian sticks out like a sore thumb. I mean she's tall, awkward, heavier, and her features are not shared with anyone else in the family. The Kardashian's poked fun at the suspicions on their reality show months ago, but now with accusations from the late Robert Kardashian's widow Jan Ashley alleging that Rob confessed Khloe's mother Kris had an affair during their relationship has ignited these rumors once again. Kris doesn't deny the affair but insist that Rob is indeed the father of Khloe. As I see it this is yet another ploy by the Kardashian clan to get more media attention and derail the still present hatred towards Kim Kardashian's 72-day marriage. For all I care Kris' ex-friend OJ Simpson could be the father and Khloe status will still remain in her position as the lesser Kardashain.

Oh Joey, you and your TMZ-work!