The Music 5&1 01.30.11: The Record-Setting Edition
Posted by Jeremy Thomas on 01.30.2012
Fergie takes on Nicki Minaj in Vs, Russell Brand moves on from Katy Perry, Glee fans go psychotic, a fashion designer shocks and offends Amy Winehouse's family, Disney doesn't like Joy Division, Jennifer Lopez is your "& 1" Model of the Week and more!
STUFF I WANT TO TALK ABOUT
Welcome back to the Music 5 & 1, boys and girls! I am Jeremy Thomas and it's great to see you all. Not much to say this week; it's been a slightly less busy one for me and that's been nice. 2012 has seen a general lull in albums and music to be excited about but hopefully we'll see that change soon so I have more to talk about! In the meantime, enjoy the Girls and Gossip...which let's be honest, is why you're here anyway.
I'll be honest folks...when I made the first matchup after Shania Twain's induction into the Hall of Bang, I didn't expect that either of them would make it to the Hall themselves and certainly not on a straight run through (not that I'm not a huge fan, 'cause I was). So I have to say it was a pleasant surprise when Avril Lavigne ran through Selena Gomez, Nayer, Esther Baxter and finally, by an ENORMOUS 584 - 166 margin, Hilary Duff to make it into the 411 Music Zone Hall of Bang! I'm 100% positive that that's the highest vote count of all-time. Congratulations to Avril for making it into the hallowed Hall, and the rest of us get to celebrate with this pictorial in her honor!
With Avril's place in Music 5 & 1 history secured, we move onto two competitors who hope to duplicate the Best Damn Thing's success and blaze their own paths into the Hall! First up is a woman who's entry into the "& 1" catalogue went over pretty well a couple months back in Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas! She's competing against the hottest lady going in the rap game today, the one and only Nicki Minaj. Who will take their first steps toward the Hall? It's up to you, so vote below!
Fergie Vs Nicki Minaj
VOTE BELOW!
If there are any future participants that you would like to see in Vs, let me know either in the comments section or by email!
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IN REVIEW
Being a Music Zone, you would think that we have a lot of people who love to talk about music. You would not be wrong. As such, when an album comes out that we have something to say about, we just can't help ourselves. We call that the Review Section…not the most original name, but it gets the point across! Anyway, the review section is a great place to find new music as we cover all sorts of genres and styles, from mainstream artists to lesser known acts. Here's an overview of our latest reviews.
Cate Le Bon - CYRK(8.0) "CYRK threw me through a loop. I didn't necessarily know what to expect before I listened to it, but I never expected it to blow me away. This is one of 2012's first albums with true sleeper potential. Listen to it now, and I guarantee it will grow on you throughout the year." - Nick Krenn
The Big Pink - Future This(8.2) "Future This features catchy pop songs that are more accessible than their first album's dreary demeanor. It may not be thought provoking, but it's fun and fun goes a long way." - Nick Krenn
Craig Finn - Clear Heart Full Eyes(7.5) "Most famed as the lead singer and songwriter of The Hold Steady, Craig Finn has become something of an elder statesman of rock music these days. With Clear Heart Full Eyes he wields that status like a weapon, letting each lyric drop with the significance of a psalm. I think I'd like a second helping of that Kool-Aid, Mr. Finn. This is a must listen for any Finn fan and worth checking out for everyone else." - C.A. Bell
Seal - Soul 2(7.0) "Seal's foray into soul is not bad at all. Maybe there are some ill-thought-out ideas here and there, but this sounds fine when it's playing. It's just that it's not something you'd go out of your way for unless you're the sort of person that requires every resulting sound of Seal's vocal cords being in the general vicinity of a microphone. Soul 2 is one for the fans, then, although his interesting approach to "What's Going On" is worth hearing." - Wyatt E.
MUSIC VIDEO A-GO-GO
After last week's Shakira video, we move to another 5 & 1 Hall of Banger in Katy Perry. Instead of her newer hits though, I thought I'd go way, way, WAY back to...uh...2008. Yes, it's only been four years but somehow Katy has gone from being Zooey Deschanel's long-lost physical and stylistic twin to being the next evolution of the Britney Spears ATTB (Auto-Tune Tease Brigade). Anyway, check out back when Katy was a hipster with attitude and not a space alien with deer legs in "Ur So Gay":
CRAZY GALLAGHER QUOTE OF THE WEEK
"I thought I would hate me being the frontman and I have to say I thought people would expect more, but I haven't got any moves. As much as I miss being in a band like Oasis, the compromise would be too much. Maybe I'll just be the guitarist in a band one day."
- Noel comes clean and says that his success as a frontman is due to lowered expectations.
BUBBLING UNDER You know what time it is, folks...these are the stories that I found worth touching on but didn't quite make the Top Five and thus become little bites of snark as opposed to a full course of it.
Paris Hilton Working With Snoop Dogg On New Album
Hey, does everyone remember when Paris Hilton decided she wanted to be a music star? That's right, back in 2006 Paris decided that being an heiress with a sex tape wasn't enough so she released Paris, an album so Auto-Tuned that it made T-Pain's work sound like folk music by comparison. She's been working on her still-unnamed follow-up since 2007 and recently revealed that Snoop Dogg would be appearing. "I'm doing my new album, and Afrojack is actually executive-producing the entire thing," she said. "There are a lot of very cool collaborations on my album. It should be out in the next few months. We just finished doing my single with LMFAO, then I'm recording with Snoop Dogg." Soon after, Snoop found out that he misunderstood and said that if she didn't want to add her own personal touches to Doggystyle, than he wasn't interested.
As you can see, negotiations are ongoing.
Drake Wants To Play Barack Obama in a Movie
Hip-hop star and Cash Money artist Drake recently said that he's looking to expand his acting career beyond rappers or basketball players into something that that would go past typecasting. He could be moving into action star, school teacher or romantic comedy roles, but starting out gradual isn't his style, so of course he went right to President of the United States. "I hope somebody makes a movie about Obama's life soon because I could play him," Drake told VH-1. "That's the goal. I watch all the addresses. Anytime I see him on TV, I don't change the channel, I definitely pay attention and listen to the inflections of his voice. If you ask anyone who knows me, I'm pretty good at impressions." Laugh all you want, but I can see it. Just get Spike Lee to direct it, cast Pitbull as the inexplicably popular Newt Gingrich and Jay-Z as the too-rich-for-words Mitt Romney and you might just have something.
He keeps smiling and repeating the line
"Hey, I killed Bin Ladin!" as research.
Sinead O'Connor IsIsn'tIsIsn't Is Still Married...Wait, She Is, Right?
Screw it, I don't even care anymore. Apparently Sinead O'Connor has decided that she's back with the husband she's broken up with twice in barley more than a month, declaring over Twitter: ""Yay. My sweet husband is coming home. Very happy girl. Must get pretty-fied by 8pm. Thank u God. Me love me sweet husband so bad. Yay!! :) Sorry if too much info or too personal.. Just.. Me so happy. Wus sad without him. Love him rotten bad. So me all happy now.. Hurray!!!" Sinead, sweetie, honey. I only have one thing to say: get back on the horse or let it go. If you keep going back and forth, there will be serious chafing on both sides.
Trust me, no amount of moisturizer
Helps with marriage chafing.
Ke$ha Is Making A Documentary About Herself
Well, someone has to I suppose. Ke$ha recently intimated that she will be making a documentary all about herself. The human hybrid clone of Lady Gaga's need for attention and Taylor Momsen's trashiness recently tweeted a link to Her Life Story, an unauthorized biography of her, and added the following message (which I shall kindly take out of all caps for the sake of your eyes): I have something coming for you all that is legit and funny and weird and awesome about my crazy beautiful life." Rumors that the documentary of her life will also be able to double as a found footage-style Trainspotting sequel are unconfirmed but probable at this point.
The glitter budget alone will make it a more expensive film than Avatar.
Rihanna to Star in and Produce UK Fashion Competition Show
Chalk this up under the category of "Yet Another Reality Show We Don't Need." Rihanna has been announced as the star and executive producer of a UK reality show based around fashion design. Miss Talk that Talk's new show will air on Sky Living HD and will be hosted by Girls Aloud member Nicola Roberts. The contestants, who will be undiscovered talent, will be tasked throughout the show's run with challenges having to do with the creation of stage costumes for musicians and celebrities, culminating in a final challenge to dress Rihanna for her July 8th show in London's Hyde Park for the Wireless music festival. Now all love to Rihanna--except for the horrific piece of work that is Talk That Talk of course--but the bar is set really low on this one. Have you seen Rihanna's stage outfits? I propose that the first elimination stage wipes out everyone who can't top Bedazzled granny panties.
What blind three year-old on acid thought these were a good idea?
It's time to crank this mother up to 11 as we take a look at some random (DEFINITELY non-Beyonce) stuff from the last week and one smoking hottie.
*****
Glee Fans Make Justin Bieber's Look Sane By Comparison
So, if you've read my stuff, you probably know that I'm a fan of Glee. Hate all you want, I don't mind; I realize the show isn't for everyone but I enjoy the hell out of it for its over-the-top nature and it's one of those shows I don't often miss. That being said, there are times you want to pretend you're not a fan of the show. You know the times...when you're walking through the mall and you realize you know the words to the same songs that all the fourteen year-olds do, when you watch the commercials and realize they're all horrible parodies of '80s songs promoting Old Navy or...well, when you have to explain why you like the show to people (I'm mostly kidding on that last one). Another example is when fans of the show turn into psychotic monsters, a fact that new cast member Grant Gustin can testify to. Grant plays Sebastian on the show, a character from the rival glee club the Warblers who was brought in to make sexy eyes at Darren Criss' Blaine and try to break up the fan-loved relationship between Blaine and Chris Colfer's Kurt. Presumably he's moving on to viler things since that has yet to work, which makes me worry considering that he got death threats from fans over Twitter.
Relax, I haven't forgotten what the column's about. Enjoy
Some hot Glee girl goodness in the form of Naya Rivera.
Yes, you read that right...he got death threats. "It pissed everybody off," Gustin said with a laugh. "I didn't really know it was going to be this intense, mean character…major douchebag...[I got], literally, death threats on Twitter saying, 'if you break up Klaine, I will find you and I will kill you,'" Grant says. "Glee fans are intense in the best way possibly, and I appreciate it more than anything, but there was definitely backlash."
Okay, now all respect for Gustin to be putting the best possible face on it, but really people? I mean, seriously? It's bad enough that Justin Bieber's female fans were sending poor Selena Gomez threats because she dared to be what they wanted to be. But at least that's a real-life person and relationship. This is a fictional high school character that came in and tried to break up two other fictional high school characters. That's like threatening to blow up the Trump Tower of Debbie Gibson gets voted off the new season of Celebrity Apprentice. And this isn't just a couple whackjobs here and there either...according to Gustin, he received thousands of death threats over social media. I am a fan of that relationship as well, but at this point I almost want to see them do it just to make a bunch of peoples' heads explode and raise the median IQ of the Glee fanbase.
Seriously though people...if you're one of these people who think it's necessary to send actors death threats about characters who they merely portray and have minimal influence at best over their character's plots and character arcs, I say this: get a clue. Go home, take your lithium or whatever else counts for a chill pill in your medicine cabinet and leave the whole thing alone. Or at the very least, change the channel and start watching Gossip Girl or 90210. No one gives a rat's ass if those fanbases go a little nutty.
The only thing crazier than Glee fans is the sheer power of Heather Morris' sex appeal.
Amy Winehouse's Family Offended Over Amy-Inspired Fashion Show
One of the biggest music-related stories of 2011 was the untimely death of Amy Winehouse, who if you've been living under a rock passed away at the age of twenty-seven due to alcohol consumption. I'm not here to write another eulogy for Winehouse; plenty has been said on this site and others of her July passing. Amy's name has popped up in the news sporadically since, mostly in relation to the foundation formed in her name by her parents Mitch and Janis. The two have tried to do a lot of good from their daughter's unfortunate death and have generally avoided being too particularly controversy-courting in their headlines...that is, until this week when Mitch spoke out the perceived exploitation of Winehouse's image for the sake of fashion.
The story breaks down like this: during Fashion Week in Paris this past week, designed Jean Paul Gaultier unveiled his latest line. Nothing out of the ordinary there, unless you consider that Gaultier went to fairly great lengths to recreate Amy's image for his show. Models sporting Winehouse's distinctive beehive and eyeliner design walked the runway in styles that would not been surprising to see on the "Back to Black" singer. As if to make it clear that it was in fact the Amy and not some other singer, Gaultier even had Winehouse's music performed during the show, which came two days after the six-month anniversary of Winehouse's death and attracted its share of headlines for the designer.
I feel creepy posting hot pictures of a dead celebrity,
So here's Hall of Bang member Willa Ford instead.
Needless to say (assuming you read the first paragraph), Mitch wasn't pleased and he spoke out against Gaultier, blasting him for what he saw as an attempt to exploit his daughter's image. "The family was upset to see those pictures, they were a total shock," said Mitch. "We're still grieving for her loss, and we've had a difficult week with the six-month anniversary of Amy's death. To see her image lifted wholesale to sell clothes was a wrench we were not expecting or consulted on. We're proud of her influence on fashion but find black veils on models, smoking cigarettes with a barbershop quartet singing her music in bad taste. It portrays a view of Amy when she was not at her best, and glamorizes some of the more upsetting times in her life. That's upsetting for her family."
You know, I can kind of see what people are saying about this not perhaps being as bad as it's been made out to be. I enjoyed Winehouse's music but I'd be lying if I said I didn't make a joke or two about her in my time (pre-death at least) and certainly this is no more crass than any jokes that people may have made, at least on the surface. I can understand that to a certain degree and I can say that I'm not personally offended, but I also acknowledge that I am not a member of Winehouse's family and so I don't have a lot of perspective on what might be considered over the line for someone who was legitimately close to the singer. It's easy to die; it's difficult to be the family left behind, especially when it's someone whose death was such a public and widely-covered event. I get that they might not be as ready to move on as others and ultimately I think they deserve that level of deference; if they don't want to see Amy's image tossed up on a catwalk to sell a fashion line then I think that's their moral prerogative and they should be given that deference.
Gaultier defended the show by saying it was a tribute and adding, "She was an icon of fashion and truly, the sense of how she mixed the clothes — it was great. It was very Eighties but did it in a very modern way. It is very joyous." With all due respect to Mr. Gaultier however, he reportedly neither sought permission nor offered to make a donation to the Amy Winehouse Foundation, two acts which would have made it much more socially acceptable. It's difficult to refute Mitch's statement that it was "purely about Gaultier making money" and while I don't think Gaultier did anything illegal (since no lawsuits are forthcoming), it was certainly in at least some level of bad taste. There are many ways to pay tribute to someone whose contributions to fashion and music were respected, but using that image to promote a fashion line is not one of those ways and I can hope the designer learns a lesson on this one.
All right, enough of that. Back to the hot chicks,
Like Dorismar here!
Disney Pulls Joy Division-Themed Mickey Mouse Shirt
Apparently the Mouse House has learned the danger of playing with non-family-friendly fire. Disney found itself some internet buzz earlier last week when it released a Mickey Mouse shirt that drew inspiration from Joy Division. The shirt had a silhouette of Mickey's head depicted pulsar waves a la Joy Division's iconic Unknown Pleasures album cover and was sold in the online store as well as Disneyland and Disney World theme parks; as of Tuesday (the day it was released), the shirt had immediately sold out.
Sadly, the story doesn't end there. On Wednesday, just twenty-four hours after they had released it, Disney pulled the shirt. Why yank such an awesome design, you ask? Simple: because of the crusade of political over-correctness. You see, for those unfamiliar with the work of Joy Division it was a post-punk band that released two albums, the afore-mentioned Unknown Pleasures and Closer, in 1979 and 1980. The Greater Manchester-based band had gained a quick following and was on the verge of major stardom when its lead singer Ian Curtis committed suicide by hanging at On May 18, 1980 at the age of twenty-three. That singular fact was apparently known by enough parents that when they heard about the new T-Shirt they spoke out, claiming that it was inappropriate for Disney to market a shirt that is associated with such an act. Of course that story of the complaints spread like wildfire online and Disney responded by yanking the shirts unceremoniously off the shelves, saying, "As soon as we became aware there could be an issue, we pulled it from our shelves and our online store to review the situation further." As of the time of this writing the shirt had not been put back on sale and it's unlikely to ever see the light of day again.
This is also a shirt you can't buy in Disney's store.
There are so many things wrong with this story that I scarcely know where to begin. To start with, let's be frank; there is literally no possible way that Ian Curtis' suicide was something Disney was unaware of when producing this shirt. Let's set aside the fact that the circumstances around Curtis' death is not exactly obscure; if you know who Joy Division is (as the shirt designer clearly did), you simply have to be aware of it. Clearly the Joy Division design was no accident; Disney's product description said, "Inspired by the iconic sleeve of Joy Division's 'Unknown Pleasures' album, this Waves Mickey Mouse Tee incorporates Mickey's image within the graphic of the pulse of a star. That's appropriate given few stars have made bigger waves than Mickey!" Not to mention the fact that a biopic on Curtis, the excellent Control, was released by longtime Disney associates the Weinstein brothers less than four years ago. There is, in my mind, no possible way that someone involved in the signing off of this shirt didn't know what they were getting into.
But that's just half of the picture. There will be (or would have been) a few potential owners of this shirt. First, there are the people who are buying it because they are fans of both Joy Division and Mickey. Second, there are the people who get the shirt not because they're big Disney fans but because they like Joy Division (or want to look cool and vintage). And finally there are the people--children included--who will think it's just a really cool Mickey design and won't associate it with the band at all. The first two will already be aware of the circumstances regardless and the shirt won't illuminate any previously-unknown information about a rock star's self-hanging. The third will maybe, possibly find out if someone tells them or they do the research online. To even say those people may be enticed toward something dangerous because they own a shirt connected to Curtis is ridiculous. It isn't like the shirt has a picture of Curtis' body swinging or the like. There are more than enough cliché rock quotes like "Live fast, die young and leave a good-looking corpse" that something like this will do nothing remotely harmful by comparison. I'm all about suicide sensitivity, but this is just stupid and the worst that could possibly happen comes not from the shirt itself, but from lack of parental guidance. The complaints and the shirt-shelving were equally dumb moves and just show the power of a few voices complaining very, very loudly.
Cheryl Cole has nothing to do with this story. But are you complaining? Thought not.
Russell Brand Back in the Saddle, Trashing Katy Perry
Celebrity divorces have a very easily followable lifespan. First come the rumors of trouble and the representative denials. Then the couple is seen out together smiling and happy so as to prove the rumors wrong; it's typically no more than a month afterward that the "shocking" separation/divorce is announced. Then quickly follows the joint statement where they say they love each other very much and that the split is very sad but for the best and things seem fine for a short amount of time before the rumors start popping up, which may or may not lead to public and legal disputes. It's a very easy-to-follow road map that leads from Celebrity Wedded Bliss, California to Troubled Splitsville, Arizona and the only general variation is how long the trip takes.
Kim did it in a Maserati with the pedal to the floor the whole time.
With that in mind, we now know where Katy Perry and Russell Brand are on their journey, which has been a pretty typical trip down Famous Divorce Road. The two have been doing well to this point and have shown that they don't have a lot of animosity toward each other, at least until now. Us Weekly however reports that Russell has moved on and has been seeing a new group of ladies and that has Katy livid. "She discovered through her friends," an insider tells Us of how Perry found out about 36-year-old Brand's wandering eye. "One of the women told a friend of hers and it got back to Katy." The site continues to say that Brand has gone so far as to trash Katy to these women, with that same source saying, "He's spoken terribly about Katy to them." The source adds that he's trying to hook up with one particular woman and "told her he wanted her to move in with him after the divorce is final."
I'm thinking Russell's new chick should turn that offer down.
All joking aside, I have to say that I'm not buying this one. There are a few reasons for this. First off...well, let's be honest folks. In terms of reporting credibility, Us Weekly ranks somewhere just slightly above the National Enquirer and I would trust Conrad Murray to do the anesthesia for my root canal before I trusted one of their sources without supporting evidence. And there has been no such supporting evidence yet, except perhaps the very reasonable fact that they avoided the People's Choice Awards so as not to have to be awkwardly friendly and smiles a week or so after their public split. Katy and Russell don't have any kids, which as we all know add +5 Nastiness to the Red Dragon of Celebrity Divorce, and all accounts of the relationship's end have been fairly amicable. Call me an optimist--I won't deny that I am--but I just don't see them turning things acrimonious this early.
But hey, I'm also not going to falsely claim that I have a source close to each other that allows me to make such statements in a definitive way. I'm not Us Weekly, after all. So I do acknowledge the possibility that Russell is indeed getting back into the dating scene and telling a little bad Katy gossip in order to build up some sympathy that will benefit him between the sheets. I think it's a little weird that it would be Russell doing the dating scene when by all accounts he was the non-partying homebody and Katy was the one who liked her wild nights, but then I imagine this is just setting Us up for the inevitable "Russell Brand has fallen off the wagon" story. All they need in order to run it is a picture of Russell snapped at just the right moment that he looks drunk and then they have headline gold. So yeah folks, the moral of this story: don't trust Us Weekly.
The other moral: If you're getting some of this, don't go looking for better.
New Music Monday
This is the home of some of the best new music that will soon be available, where you get to hear the hottest new tracks and find out about forthcoming albums and videos as well.
Lana Del Rey's been all over the place in promotion of her album Born to Die which drops tomorrow. Check out one of the songs, "Video Games":
John Legend released a new single this week, and we have it here for you. Check out "Tonight (Best You Ever Had)" featuring Ludacris:
Now it's time for the reason you're here, the "&1 Model of the Week."
For this week's Model of the Week, we're giving some congratulations to someone who's actually making their split amicable...apparently, by avoiding her ex for a while. Ladies and gentlemen, say hello to your "& 1," the one and only Jennifer Lopez!
NOW THAT I'M DONE…
You can go and read some more greatness on 411.
Let's start by giving a shout-out to the rest of the 5&1 Illuminati! There's Steve Gustafson, who brings you the hottest in movie tidbits and girls with the original Hollywood 5 & 1; Greg DeMarco, who brings you the hottest chicks who could kick my ass in the Wrestling 5 & 1 and Stewart Lange, who has brought the 5&1 to the Octagon with the MMA 5 & 1! The 5 & 1 Illuminati is poised for true domination now!
When you are done checking out how the other zones roll, go read all the goodness in the rest of the Music Zone.
Make sure to click the Facebook and Twitter "Like" links, as well as the new Google +1 option, and support 411mania, your home for the best in pop culture entertainment news.
And that's all, folks! I'm out...have a good Monday and come back for more 411 tomorrow!
Don't knock Rihanna's granny panties. She's hot enough to make a burlap sack look sexy.
Posted By: Alex (Guest) on January 29, 2012 at 11:26 PM
Nicki Minaj, regardless of her fake ass and tits. She's actually cute with way less makeup and when she's not making those tourette's syndrome faces. Fergie looks like a man a lot, and built like plywood.
Posted By: SS87 (Guest) on January 29, 2012 at 11:35 PM
Nicki has a bigger rack and definitely a bigger ass. I'll go with Minaj.
Posted By: Zingy (Guest) on January 30, 2012 at 08:17 AM
There is nothing attractive about Nicki Minaj. Going with Fergie.
Posted By: Guest#6108 (Guest) on January 30, 2012 at 10:55 AM
Tough VS this week. I don't like either one of them. I guess I'll choose Fergie because I prefer vanilla.
Posted By: Guest#6245 (Guest) on January 30, 2012 at 05:42 PM
I personally don't find either women that attractive. But if I had to go choose then I'll go with Fergie, by a very slim margin.
Posted By: mblund (Guest) on January 30, 2012 at 05:45 PM
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"CYRK threw me through a loop. I didn't necessarily know what to expect before I listened to it, but I never expected it to blow me away. This is one of 2012's first albums with true sleeper potential. Listen to it now, and I guarantee it will grow on you throughout the year." - Nick Krenn
"Future This features catchy pop songs that are more accessible than their first album's dreary demeanor. It may not be thought provoking, but it's fun and fun goes a long way." - Nick Krenn
"Most famed as the lead singer and songwriter of The Hold Steady, Craig Finn has become something of an elder statesman of rock music these days. With Clear Heart Full Eyes he wields that status like a weapon, letting each lyric drop with the significance of a psalm. I think I'd like a second helping of that Kool-Aid, Mr. Finn. This is a must listen for any Finn fan and worth checking out for everyone else." - C.A. Bell
"Seal's foray into soul is not bad at all. Maybe there are some ill-thought-out ideas here and there, but this sounds fine when it's playing. It's just that it's not something you'd go out of your way for unless you're the sort of person that requires every resulting sound of Seal's vocal cords being in the general vicinity of a microphone. Soul 2 is one for the fans, then, although his interesting approach to "What's Going On" is worth hearing." - Wyatt E.
