The Love/Hate News Report 02.09.12: About the Super Bowl...
Posted by John Downey on 02.09.2012
News and thoughts on the Super Bowl Halftime Show, the Beach Boys playing at the Grammys, Lana Del Rey discussing her newfound humility, Nick Carter not attending his sister's funeral, Tenacious D's latest album and more!
Welcome to the only music news report written by someone who didn't drink while watching the Super Bowl, the Love/Hate News Report! Though, admittedly, I could have used a drink by the end of the game. Hell, I could have used one by the end of the first quarter. Also, fuck Gisele Bundchen.
I'll only be going into detail on six stories this week. To put it simply, this has been a boring week and there isn't much to report on. Also, I have a fever that has made simply moving around difficult. I've lost three pounds in two days. No, this isn't fun.
Nick Krenn's Major Bands, Minor Labels looks at darker music, including indie metal. C'mon, you know you're intrigued. His other column, The Music 3R's, took a few swipes at My Chemical Romance and Blink-182, resulting in some angry comments. No, really, people defended MCR. What is this, 2005? C.A. Bell's Ten Deep looks at the greatest songs about guys. He also expresses his justified distaste for Michael Jackson. It's an interesting read.
Man, I can't wait for The Walking Dead to return on Sunday. I've spent the past few months watching television shows that reward my patience, and I can't wait for my intelligence to be insulted. Anyway...
Okay, here's how this works: I find eight news bites per week (six this week), and complain about them. Except when I like them, in which case I'll rave about them. That is relatively speaking, of course. I'm a bit of a scoundrel who remains negative about most matters, so to let you know when I'm not trying to drown you in sarcasm/hate, I have helpful little visual reminders letting you know when I think something is a good thing. For reasons concerning symmetry, I've put indicators around the parts where I'm ranting.
If you don't agree with me, that's what the comment section is for. Go ahead and air your grievances in a matter that you find to be most appropriate. If you troll hard enough, I might cry. I will never admit to tearing up, of course, but you'll know when it happens when you get that warm feeling in your heart.
The Super Bowl Halftime Show
I spent almost 1,800 words picking apart last year's Super Bowl Halftime Show, basically criticizing every aspect of the Black Eyed Peas's performance and calling it one of the worst Halftime Shows of all time. I braced for the worst when I heard that Madonna, an artist who I've never cared for, was announced as the featured musician for this year's Halftime Show, and rumors that Nicki Minaj was going to join Madonna on stage didn't ease my concerns. This may have been the first time I seriously considered watching the Puppy Bowl instead of the Halftime Show.
I went back to the column I wrote about last year's Halftime Show (read it here) to see if any of the gripes I expressed last year applied to this year's show. One of my major points of contention was that the BEP didn't do much of anything while taking up most of the spotlight. This year, Madonna came in on the backs of Trojans, did cartwheels on bleachers, and shook some pom poms. She was overshadowed by her backup dancers (including that one crazy dude who jumped on a tightrope), but Madonna did a hell of a lot more than I expected her to do.
Another problem I had with last year's show was that the surprise guests were handled inelegantly. In contrast, the surprise guests that showed up during this year's Halftime Show were actually welcome and incorporated into the mix very well. Nicki Minaj was no surprise, but M.I.A., the woman who has written songs about teenage prostitutes and freedom fighters and spent an entire album talking about her dissatisfaction with America, showing up and sharing screen time with Madonna was not something I thought I would ever see. Oh, and M.I.A. gave the whole world the finger, but this is 2012 and more people noticed NBC's late attempt to blur it than got offended by it. Besides, I would be more concerned if M.I.A. didn't do something inflammatory. LMFAO showed up to do that one LMFAO thing they do and left long before Cee Lo, the most likable man in music, showed up and did that Cee Lo thing for a while. Good times.
I've heard a lot of people refer to this year's Halftime Show as the greatest Halftime Show of all time. I won't go that far, but I think this was one of the better ones. The music was all right, the visuals were nice, there were a few moments that got people talking, and it ended with Madonna dying for our sins so that we could have World Peace. What's not to love?
But was it better than Puppy Bowl VIII?
Nick Carter Says One Thing And Does Another
Nick Carter's sister, Leslie, passed away last week. She was laid to rest over the weekend, though Nick was absent—this, after dedicating the rest of his tour to her memory. When asked why he wasn't at his sister's funeral, he blamed his family. Cue quote machine:
I wanted to be at my sister's funeral, but my family has always had a complicated dynamic...There are so many emotions for me surrounding the loss of my sister. I am trying to stay healthy, positive, and focused.
It was later reported that Nick Carter was doing a surprise appearance at a gay bar in Boston the day his sister was laid to rest. Look, I understand that being a popular musician means having your personal life in the spotlight, and sometimes you have to do what's best for your career. That said, Carter's words and actions make him seem dishonest, and even if his family prevented him from attending his sister's funeral, taking a gig on the same day as her funeral is tasteless and…well, wrong.
Tenacious D Announces New Album
A lot has been made out of the return of The Darkness, but I've never found their humorous take on rock'n'roll to be all that great. To me, they sound like they want to make fun of a lost era of music while also trying to sell their audience on the merits of said era's sound. Tenacious D was more my cup of tea—a few guys with a love for rock'n'roll who are willing to sound crazy dumb for the sake of their music.
Waiting for "the D" to release music is a test in patience—after Kyle Gass and Jack Black released their first album in 2001 to critical acclaim and nerd acceptance, they didn't put out another album until 2006. The band has steadily toured with a full band, so it wasn't as though "the D" discreetly broke up, but I've been hoping for a new album to see the light of day for too long. Well, the wait should end soon—Rize of the Fenix, the band's next full-length album, will come out this May. If nothing else, this should keep Jack Black away from acting for a while, so everyone wins.
…
…yeah.
Shit Lana Del Rey Says Rejection and not getting anywhere changed me. I've gone from wanting to be a world-famous singer to wanting to focus on becoming an active, helpful member of my community who lives their life with dignity and grace.
You know, if more people bombed on SNL, the world might be a better place. Just look what it did to LDR!
The Beach Boys Will Perform At The Grammys
The list of bands and artists who are going to perform at the Grammys is pretty damn long and expansive. Consider that Deadmau5, Taylor Swift, Tony Bennett, and Nicki Minaj are all scheduled to perform. It's like the beginning of a bad "knock knock" joke, with the punchline inevitably involving the death of at least one of them.
There's only one band that I'm interested in seeing, though, and that's the Beach Boys. I've spent quite a bit of time in this column expressing joy that the band has reunited for one last tour, so you can imagine how excited I was to hear that the Beach Boys will be performing at the Grammys (alongside Foster the People and Maroon 5, but who cares about them?). Whether or not they will turn in a good performance is almost irrelevant—it has been more than twenty years since the Beach Boys performed on television, and I was convinced that the band was never going to perform on television ever again. Yeah, I'm hyped.
Deaths In Music This Week
Singer David Peaston passed away on February 1 due to complications with diabetes. He is best known for his charting singles "Two Wrongs (Don't Make A Right)", "We're All in This Together", and "Can I?". Preston signed his first record deal after winning several competitions on Showtime at the Apollo. He was 54.
On behalf of 411mania, I extend my condolences to the friends and family of the deceased.
One Sentence Banal Minutiae
A SPICE GIRLS REUNION COULD HAPPEN SOON
Because the world hasn't had enough of Scary Spice.
RUSSELL BRAND WON'T TAKE ANY OF KATY PERRY'S MONEY
As I said before, the dude's already rich and doesn't seem like he has an expensive lifestyle, so this doesn't surprise me.
RIHANNA HAS BLONDE HAIR NOW
No word on if this is a tribute to Butch Reed or not.
LANA DEL REY HAD A GOOD SHOWING ON THE LATE SHOW
There, I said it.
ADAM LAMBERT IS THE NEW LEAD SINGER FOR QUEEN, OH WAIT, NO HE'S NOT
Who would have thought that Lambert could act like such an attention whore?
BLUE IVY HAS SIX NANNIES
I think I've already said that this kid needs to grow up and do absolutely nothing noteworthy if only for irony's sake, but it bears repeating.
KANYE WEST'S DEMANDS DURING HIS AUSTRALIA TOUR INCLUDED HAVING HIS DRIVERS WEAR NO MAN-MADE FIBERS
This seems kind of hypocritical, given that most of the women he dates are man-made.
SIMON COWELL WANTS MARIAH CAREY TO JOIN THE X FACTOR
She is a good singer and she is crazy—if nothing else, this should make for good television.
AEROSMITH WANTED STEPHEN KING TO WRITE LYRICS FOR THE BAND'S NEW ALBUM
And this is what it would have sounded like.
OKSANA GRIGORIEVA IS PURSUING A SINGING CAREER
And not a single fuck was given that day.
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And with that, we come to this week's playlist. This week, to celebrate the announcement of a new Tenacious D album, I thought it appropriate to share the band's self-titled album. Enjoy.
If the widget doesn't work, click here. If the widget doesn't show up, then it REALLY didn't work
Albums To Love
January: Attack on Memory, Cloud Nothings
The Super Bowl Halftime Show
Nick Carter Says One Thing And Does Another
