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Music's 3R’s 06.09.12: Mayor of Doucheville
Posted by Nick Krenn on 06.09.2012



Hello, I'm Nick Krenn, and I'm bringing you the newest edition of the most impolite 411mania column, Music 3R's, where I examine the Right, wRong, and Ridiculous in music. Before we start, here are some things I suggest you read.

The Love/Hate News Report written by John Downey, Lana Del Rey's number one enemy.

One more plug.

Earbuddy.net, a music site that I run outside of 411mania featuring both John Downey and Chris Bell.


Let's look at some R's!




Lars Calls The Kettle Metal



Thankfully, Lars Ulrich was able to take time away from touring to speak with NME about such interesting topics as the Arctic Monkeys' music genre. The Arctic Monkeys, an indie rock band, will join other indie favorites like The Black Angels, Best Coast, and Titus Andronicus (last week's rock pick) for the Metallica-curated Orion Music + More Festival. But silly me, why am I calling Arctic Monkeys an indie rock band? Apparently, they're a heavy metal band, according to Lars.

"For me, having the Arctic Monkeys on there is big. I think they're a heavy metal band disguised as an indie band. If you listen to a song like 'Perhaps Vampires Is a Bit Strong But...' there's almost a Rush element in there."

Yes, there are many elements in there, but Arctic Monkeys are primarily an indie rock group and most indie bands are closer tied to alternative music rather than heavy metal. Is Lars disguising this Orion Festival as a heavy metal event with some of its genre fans thinking groups like Best Coast and Modest Mouse are up and coming metal acts?

Metallica will headline both nights, with a lineup that includes The Gaslight Anthem, Modest Mouse, Cage The Elephant, Fucked Up, Hot Snakes, Titus Andronicus, Best Coast, The Black Angels, The Sword, Avenged Sevenfold, and Liturgy. I will say that Metallica and Liturgy are the most metal of the lineup, even though Metallica are a classic rock band disguised as a metal band. And I'm not even considering Avenged Sevenfold as metal, so don't try to correct me in the comments section like so many of you are eager to do. At this moment some guy is typing out an angry response while Avenged Sevenfold is blasting in the background all before he leaves the house to go hang out at a Starbucks.

On the subject of the festival, Lars said the following: "We're trying to get our own festival off the ground, and it's no fucking picnic. It takes five years to even really get on the map. So we're trying to get our own thing off the ground in New Jersey in June. You've got to stay with it. We were invited to play Bonnaroo in 2008 and that was the first time we saw the European festival model work in America, the whole thing was a total mindfuck, it was great – it was us. The people were really accepting towards diversity, so it was back then we started thinking about doing our own thing. We really want to have that kind of European diversity and that sense of discovery."

I think the most interesting thing to take away from this is that Lars' iPod must be predominantly indie music. I like the fact that Lars has a strong appreciation for many of these bands, but at the same time, he shouldn't think that he has to pass them off as something they're not to make them sound cool and sell tickets for his festival. Lars, just say you like Arctic Monkeys, even though it would probably alienate most of your diehard fans. However, it would make you sound more genuine.

And while Lars may be an Arctic Monkeys fan, they are not my…


ROCK PICK OF THE WEEK


Last week I named Titus Andronicus as a better rock band than The Hives, who pretty much said that most of rock is crap these days. This got me to thinking that I should share some great rock bands each week that may or may not be on your radar. Who knew that so many readers loved Titus Andronicus? I sure didn't, but it made me smile to see a lot of fan support for the band in the comments section, even if it may have seemed like a "hipster gathering" to some. Sorry, next time there's a dipshit gathering, you'll all be invited and, strangely enough, I'll be hosting that gathering as well.

I think only one person mentioned a band that I never heard of; however, the band wasn't memorable and sucked so don't expect a callback to them. Someone else mentioned The Joy Formidable, and yes, they're a great band but they weren't unknown to me. I reviewed their album, The Big Roar, last year. And then someone mentioned Japandroids and their latest album, Celebration Rock. Well, guess what, buddy! You're on my wavelength. Japandroids are this week's pick. Check out a couple of cuts from their new album below.










Rihanna Still A Dummy



I mean, do you really need a title to address what idiotic thing
Rihanna
has done this week? This week she's made some comments in an interview with Esquire that made her sound oblivious to the world around her. What was she talking about? Chris Brown, of course! Rihanna recently collaborated with Brown on a remix of the single, "Birthday Cake", which was released almost three years after her flogging at the 2009 Grammy Awards. Rihanna doesn't understand why the collaboration caused such an uproar with fans.

"The whole thing caught me a little off-guard, to be honest. Especially the amount of negative attention. Because it never occurred to me how this was going to be a problem, you know. It really didn't. I thought people were gonna be surprised that we finally did a record together, but I didn't see how people could think it was a bad thing, you know? In my mind, it was just music."

Exactly, you two were just making another "hit" song, get it?! I stole that from a 411 commenter. Rihanna was also angry that some people were claiming the collaboration would send a negative message to fans, saying the duet was recorded "in a completely professional environment, and on a complete professional note." This time Brown wore gloves when he beat her, and Rihanna was wearing the proper headgear.

She added: "I mean, if I went back to him [as a girlfriend], then that's a whole different discussion. And if I ever do, then that's something that y'all have to talk to me about when – if – that ever happens. Until then, look at it for what it is. I think a lot of people jumped to an assumption that was incorrect and they ended up looking stupid."

I like how Rihanna leaves that statement open about whether or not she'd get back together with Brown, "And if I ever do…". So if Rihanna ever did get back together with Brown, she'd want to speak with Esquire so that they could question her insanity?

In a small amount of time, Rihanna has gone from being a victim that everyone was concerned about to a celebrity musician that people openly mock. And as tarnished as Brown's career is, Rihanna's own has been smudged as well.






John Mayer Humiliated By Taylor Swift



John Mayer has finally responded to the Taylor Swift song "Dear John" that was featured on her last album, Speak Now. In case you didn't know, "Dear John" was about the singer and former celebrity playboy. Oh, you didn't know he was a playboy? Just look at his laundry list of banged starlets: Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Taylor Swift (or, at least that's what the song implies). "Dear John, I see it all, now it was wrong / Don't you think 19 is too young to be played by your dark twisted games, when I loved you so?" Young and extremely hot is all I have to say.

John says that Swift's accusations of him being a crappy boyfriend were below the belt and left him feeling humiliated. Mayer spoke to Rolling Stone about the song and their relationship.

"It made me feel terrible. Because I didn't deserve it. I'm pretty good at taking accountability now, and I never did anything to deserve that. It was a really lousy thing for her to do."

The song released at a dark period during Mayer's life, brought on by his open bragging (about banging hot celebrities) in magazines Rolling Stone and Playboy, which led to backlash from fans and caused Mayer to take a two-year hiatus. Many debated whether "Dear John" was actually about Mayer, but Mayer has said that he thinks the song is indeed about him.

"There are things that were little nuances of the relationship, little hints. Everyone will know, so I don't really have to send out emails on this one."

Mayer went onto say that he never knew how Swift felt about their relationship or its demise until hearing the song.

"I never got an e-mail. I never got a phone call. I was really caught off-guard, and it really humiliated me at a time when I'd already been dressed down. I mean, how would you feel if, at the lowest you've ever been, someone kicked you even lower?" When asked about the song's line, "Don't you think I was too young to be messed with? I don't want to go into that. I will say as a songwriter that I think it's kind of cheap songwriting. I know she's the biggest thing in the world, and I'm not trying to sink anybody's ship, but I think it's abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, 'Wait till he gets a load of this!' That's bullshit."

There was a time when John Mayer wasn't considered a douche. I think the only way that he can respond in true fashion is with his own song, "Dear Taylor", and maybe he can confirm if she was "sexual napalm" like Jessica Simpson or just a dud.





MUSIC RECOMMENDATIONS

Since I'm no longer writing Major Bands, Minor Labels, I thought I would use a spot in this column to inform you of some great music releases that you should check out.

A Silent Film - Sand & Sorrow





Royal Headache - Royal Headache





Kelli Scarr - Dangling Teeth




Choir of Young Believers - Rhine Gold





Maps & Atlases - Beware & Be Grateful






*********************

And that does it for this week. If you want to chat about the stories I covered here, follow me on Twitter @earbuddy or leave me some comments below. Let me know where this column falls under the 3R's – meaning for you to rate it as Right, wRong, or Ridiculous. I promise to change nothing. Be sure to check out Earbuddy for great indie music reviews. Thank you for reading the Music 3R's.





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