411 Music Buy or Sell 09.13.12: We Are Never Ever Dicing Pineapples
Posted by Jeremy Thomas on 09.13.2012
Does Rick Ross have a hit with "Diced Pineapples?" Is Taylor Swift's "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" worth listening to? How is the Script and will.i.am's "Hall of Fame?" 411's John Downey and Jeff Modzelewski listen to these tracks and more!
Greetings and salutations, Music Zone readers! Welcome to your top choice in music single opinion columns, 411 Music Buy or Sell! I'm your host Jeremy Thomas, and each week we'll look at some of the hottest new and hit singles and a couple of our esteemed writers will decide if they want to keep the song (Buy) or drop it like it's hot (Sell). This week's listeners are a member of the 5&1 Illuminati from the MMA Zone, John Downey, facing off yours truly Jeff Modzelewski!
All right, enough of the introductions and rules…let's hop to it!
1) Taylor Swift - "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together"
From Red (Big Machine)
Released August 14, 2012
Jeff Modzelewski: SELL.
It's not as bad as I thought it would be, but there's really nothing good about it. Swift appears to have gone fully from country to pop mode, but that doesn't mean she's a great singer or that she's writing anything very good. I just don't see the appeal here beyond she's kind of cute. If you're over 19 and you listen to this song you should really re-evaluate your musical tastes.
John Downey: BUY.
Some folks have argued that this is Swift's weakest single to date, and I'm not about to disagree. That said, it is innocuous and cute, and that is enough to make it sound like "Stairway to Heaven" when compared to the usual tripe I've had to listen to for this column. I would listen to this song a second time--that's enough for a Buy, right?
ANALYSIS: SPLIT
2) Rick Ross (ft. Wale & Drake) - "Diced Pineapples"
From God Forgives, I Don't (Maybach Music/Def Jam)
Released July 31, 2012
Jeff Modzelewski: SELL.
The first 1:15 of this song is just talking over a piano riff, so almost 25% of the song is a waste. The rest is about fucking. Yeah, we haven't seen that before in rap. Ross isn't a very good rapper anyways. Wale and Drake are slightly better, but this song really doesn't give either of them anything to do. The beat is slow an uninteresting, making this just an overall boring song.
John Downey: SELL.
Rick Ross raps about cunnilingus. Nuff said.
ANALYSIS: SELL
3) Three Days Grace - "Chalk Outline"
From Transit of Venus (RCA)
Released August 14, 2012
Jeff Modzelewski: SELL.
What is this, modern rock meets dubstep? The fuzz/weird drum beat at the beginning is an obvious Skrillex homage. Beyond that, this sounds like every other Three Days Grace song I've ever heard, which means it's pretty forgettable. Lyrically it's pretty simple and tame, the structure is exactly what you'd expect it to be, and I could probably play the guitar solo (such as it is). Oh the depths that rock has fallen to.
John Downey: SELL.
Are people still buying into this brand of wangsty rock (best exemplified by Nickelback, Creed, and Three Doors Down)? I guess they are. I'll give credit where it is due--Three Days Grace put their all into this bullshit, and were I grading this on effort rather than the product, I would give this a pass. Shit is shit, though, and taking pride in shoveling mountains of it still leaves you smelling nasty.
ANALYSIS: SELL
4) The Script (ft. will.i.am) - "Hall Of Fame"
From #3 (Epic/Phonogenic)
Released August 19, 2012
Jeff Modzelewski: BUY.
I can handle this. Both The Script (who I've never heard of) and will.i.am sound good on the song. It's got a positive message (which is a nice change) and it's not completely uninteresting musically. I'm not rushing out to buy the album, but it's nice to see something like this making the Buy or Sell list.
John Downey: SELL.
This had two strikes against it just by being credited to "The Script featuring will.i.am". The third strike comes with the music--this is another "empowering" ballad that lets you know that you can do anything. Beat wars! Walk through Hell with a smile! Be a hero! Be a "Truth Seeker"! Fly over mountains! Find the Holy Grail! Develop the ability to read minds! These guys can go fuck themselves.
ANALYSIS: SPLIT
5) Mary J. Blige - "Don't Mind"
From My Life II... The Journey Continues (Matriarch/Geffen)
Released June 19, 2012
Jeff Modzelewski: SELL.
Music shouldn't be boring, and this is another boring song. I don't mind when artists try to do something and fail, but I hate it when they don't try anything. This isn't a great song from a songwriting standpoint, a music standpoint, or a vocal standpoint. I know Mary J Blige can sing, but she really doesn't show much off here.
John Downey: SELL.
Love songs are MJB's bread and butter, but she is usually much better at handling this material. The lyrics don't hold any weight, and while I get what she is trying to do with the backing composition, it just can't sustain itself for the song's duration. Admittedly, of the songs I have sold this week, this is the one that came the closest to being a BUY, but I just can't get into this.
ANALYSIS: SELL
6) Seether - "Here and Now"
From Holding Onto Strings Better Left to Fray (Wind-up/Musketeer)
Released June 19, 2012
Jeff Modzelewski: SELL.
It's better than the Three Days Grace song, but again it's nothing special. Not an example of what rock music could be. I don't think I'm being too hard on any of these artists, because I know that there's new and exciting things happening. I just don't think that any of these songs represents anything very good in their respective genres.
John Downey: SELL.
Oh, great, more alt-metal. Jeremy, you shouldn't have--you REALLY shouldn't have. You know, if these guys (and similar bands) embraced their angst and just full-on emo, they might be enjoyable in an ironic sense. Instead, though, this is more mopey shit that probably sounds great to some high school outcast who has no concept of what good music is. If that describes you, though, then lap this up while you can.
ANALYSIS: SELL
Wow, a rough week as nothing gets a sell, but at least Taylor Swift and the Script get split votes! Thanks to John and Jeff for their participation this week; that will do it us! What do you think of the singles we covered? Agree? Disagree? Let us know in the comments!
