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 411mania » Music » Columns

Hammer of Doom News Report 10.08.12: Hall of Shame Edition
Posted by Robert Cooper on 10.08.2012


Welcome Metal Faithful, to the only spot on the internet for all of your heavy metal soap opera, the Hammer of Doom.

So before I give my usual complaining about football, I figured I'd adress the new comment system that we have, I'm sure that you've all seen it on the site since last week and you've seen it. It does take a while to load, but hey, it's a new system that once you sign up for it, you should be fine on. It does help weed out the trolls, not that I've had any yet, because #1, I've only been here 4 months and haven't pissed enough people off to build a hate-base, and #2, I write metal, and since I'm not blabbermouth, I get all the strong minded metalheads that are actually willing to talk metal rather than troll me.

Now as my usual, I am YOUR metal missionary, Robert Cooper, and my week has been as always, going to collge, watching my Panthers lose, and listening to metal. Also, this column is LATE!!!!!! Bad me!, but the metal news has been adunbant and there is even a new download for you all by the great and powerful Destruction. Anyways, we also have new albums for this week, the Global Metal pick of the week, and of course, I answer YOUR comments from last week.

But enough of me, if I keep talk you wont be able to hear....


Queensryche Members Want Geoff Tate To Stop Using Band's Name

I can't blame them and neither can the many fans that go to the wrong L.A. Guns show.

Iron Maiden's Steve Harris On Solo Album: 'This Is Not Throwaway Maiden Stuff'

In all respect to Mr. Harris, I sure as hell hope not, that album wasn't even good enough to be Maiden outtakes.

Fozzy's 'Sandpaper' Named Theme Song For WWE's 'Hell In A Cell' Pay-Per-View Event

Not much of a surprise, a decent song, much better than what the usually get.

Don Dokken says 'Broken Bones' is the FINAL Dokken album

Damn, now who will I make fun of?...oh wait, I still have Vince Neil

Former Vital Remains Guitarist Dave Suzuki Resurfaces In Churchburn

Dave Suzuki is a very talented guy and it's good that he's come out of his hidey-hole to write more music.

Behemoth Frontman Seeking Publisher For English Edition Of Autobiography

I hope he finds one, because his biography is currently not in a lanugage I can read, and I can tell you that I'd read any metal biography, or wrestling biography, or hell, even a sports biography, that was my childhood anyways.

Queen's 'Hungarian Rhapsody: Live In Budapest' To Receive DVD, Blu-Ray Release In November

Is this news metal?, not technically, but dammit Queen is awesome and it deserves to be mentioned in every column on this site!

Pestilence To Begin Recording New Album In February

Hopefully it can make up for the supbad release of 'Docterine' last year.

Underoath Announces Plans To Disband

Not a huge fan of them, but they've been around for 15 years, and metalcore or not, I figure someone reading this column would care.

Vince Neil: 'My Voice After All These Years Is Probably The Best It's Ever Been'

Was this before or after that breathalyzer was administered?

Perhaps drunk Vince Neil could use his amazing voice to sing us all....


More Like the Hall of Shame

This week the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame have released their list of nominated artist, and for once some of the more legendary hard rock/ heavy metal bands haven't gotten the shaft, notable hard rock and metal artists that have gotten a nod from the douche bags at the HoF are Deep Purple, Heart, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, and Rush. Thhough Public Enemy did some stuff with Anthrax, so I'll be them on here anyways. For Rush and Deep Purple, this is their first time on the ballots, which is re-damn-diculous, I understand that there are some other acts that need to get in there first, but at least nominate such great and timeless bands.

Now of course, there are some glaring omissions from this list, if I were to list three bands that I think should be in, it'd be Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and KISS, though I still think that bands such as Scorpions, Motorhead and Ozzy as a solo artist should get a nod at least. I think that Priest, Maiden, and KISS should at least have gotten a nomination, or been in already, I think KISS pissed someone off that runs the place, so I don't see them getting in anytime. But I wonder who Air Raid Siren and The Metal God have pissed off to get a cold shoulder from the people that are in the RnR HOF.

But back to this year, I think that Rush should go in on their first chance, because they have been a great band for many many years and influenced so many bands, I'd have to get a NASA computer to do the calculations, same goes for Deep Purple, especially since they can be argued as more mainstream just by the fact that everyone first learns "Smoke on the Water" on the guitar when they first get one.

Well, That Escalated Quickly

So as I reported last week, Nightwish singer Anette Olzon was mad that her band had decided to replace her for a show with two back-up singers because she was sick. I kind of figured that it might be trouble for the band, and oh boy was I (and commenter Michael L.) right. Well, news comes out on Monday that they have decided to part ways (I don't know who was fired or what, but somewhere down the road, some people got crabby and they couldn't work together") and nobody was really all that surprised. I've heard a rumor or two before that she was a bit of a diva, and I think that if the rest of the band knew she was one that they should have handled her with a little more care.

But anyways, also in the press release, they announced that they had replaced Ms. Olzon with Floor Jansen of After Forever, I have not heard the band, nor heard of them previously, but I know that they Nightwish would pick a pretty good singer, considering that a deal of their material requires some talent, to say the least. One thing that I found kind of funny was that Anette Olzon decided to take down her blog, stating that she only used it to keep up with and interact with her Nightwish fans, and seeing as that stage of her life was done, that she was just going to close the page. Now personally, this doesn't make all that much sense to me, because I'd figure that she could redo the page or what have you, and use those Nightwish fans that still love her music, and plug any of her future acts and music to those people, because I know personally that if you switch up a site on people, sometimes they wont go out searching for the new site, they'll just give up on you. But I hope that both parties turn out well, you know that sometimes, when a band and a singer split, you get twice as much great music, like Maiden and Bruce Bruce in the 90s.

Oh, Brother

As many know, last year metal lost a family member, as Cory Smoot of GWAR died suddenly due to "a coronary artery thrombosis brought about by his pre-existing coronary artery disease." So GWAR continued to soldier on as a four piece of weirdos, but they finally have replaced Flattus Maximus with Cannabis Corpse guitarist Brent Purgason. He will be know as Pustulus Maximus, who is Flattus's long-lost cousin.

What is this character's backstory?....I could do it justice, so here is a copy of it...from blabbermouth.net

It was a little less than a year ago that the world was rocked by the passing of Flattus Maximus, back to the cosmos from whence he came. .....

Pustulus offered his first words to the press with the following, "At this point I have nothing to say to the press, even though I am talking to you. I will let my guitar speak for itself. But let me add that I am blood-sworn to honor the legacy of the great Flattus and indeed the whole Maximus tribe. I didn't come here to fuck around. HAIL FLATTUS!"

But how did all of this come to pass? It was easy to get a quote from GWAR lead singer, Oderus Urungus.

"Naturally, we were devastated by the passing of Flattus," he said. "But we turned that grief into rage and set about the task of finding a new guitar player. The first thing we did was sound the mighty Horn of Hate, and alert all Scumdogs, scattered across the galaxy as they are, as to what had occurred. What people didn't know about Flattus was that was is part of a huge tribe of brutish warriors, The Maximus Clan. They are at the core of any Scumdog Legion worth its blood! Planet Maximus is just crawling with them!"

But it was not until the hulking form of Pustulus appeared at the studio door, bloody guitar in hand, that we knew we had our new member. Here was a being that was supposedly born with a guitar in his fist, which of course resulted in the death of his beloved mother, whose body he immediately devoured. If anyone can replace our beloved comrade, it is this foul creature. Because he can fucking shred."

Little else is known about this being, other than that he has a skin condition where his face and feet are covered in painful pustules that can only be soothed by the application of savage metal, spoiled elephant semen or oral sex. Pustulus is also rumored to be half-deaf, which leads him to yell at everyone, which he does often, because he is convinced everyone in the band is ignoring him when actually he just can't hear what they are saying. It is not known whether he crashed his Scumship into Antarctica or wandered up from the depths of GWAR's Antarctic fortress all that is known is that he is here, now, and is ready to ROCK."

I couldn't make that up if I tried, these dudes are nuts and I'm happy that they managed to trudge through adversity to be able to find another guitar player.


First up is a download from the totally awesome thrash band Destruction, though an e-mail is required, the free song is HERE!

Next up is a new song from Jeff Loomis, it is called "A Liar's Chain" and it can be streamed HERE!

Finally, is the brutality of a stream of the song "Forging Towards the Sunset" by Anaal Nathrakh"

Now that you have new thrash, and have cleaned the liquids that spewed from your mouth after the GWAR story, walk with me to !......


'Metamorphignation' by California Technical Death Metal band Arkaik

'A Frail Becoming' by North Carolina! Melodic Death/Doom Metal band Daylight Dies

'The Very Best of the Beast Vol. 2' by Dio

'Eugenics' by New York Technical/Brutal Death Metal band Malignancy

'The Fire is Mine' by Florida Power/Thrash band Seven Kingdoms

'Spasms of Upheaval' by French Melodic Death/Thrash band T.A.N.K

'Tuomittu Elämään' by Finnish Melodic Death Metal band Valonkantajat

'Embers and Revelations' by Canadian Black/Death Metal band Weapon

As for imports we have...

'The Serpent, The Prophet & The Whore' by Swiss Sludge Metal band Abraham

'Saved From the Truth' by Iranian Power/Prog metal band Angband

'Only the Ocean Knows' by Netherlands based Depressive Black/Doom band An Autumn for Crippled Children

'Nightshade Emanations' by Finnish Black Metal band Behexen

'777-Cosmosophy' by French Black/Ambient band Blut Aus Nord

'My Empire' by German Death Metal band Deserted Fear

'RIITIIR' by Progressive Black/Viking Metal band Enslaved

'V: the Docterine Decoded' by Swedish Extreme Prog metal band Loch Vostok

'Order of Chaos' by Connecticut Power Metal band Obsession

'The Great Bear' by Colorado Death/Thrash band Silencer

'Monolith' by UK Melodic Death/Thrash Sylosis

'Ruins of Gomorrah' by Chilean Death/Thrash band Undercroft

Which finally leads me to the ALBUM OF THE WEEK!, this week it is, 'Parallax II: Future Sequence' by North Carolina!!!!!! Progressive Death Metal band Between the Buried and Me. I know that this band sounds like a screamo band, but it really isn't, I have a review of this album coming out tomorrow, and I must say that the album surprised me quite a bit, a very solid prog metal album.

As for albums that I listened to this week, I listened to my PICK OF THE WEEK from last week "Cryptopsy" by Cryptopsy, it was good brutal metal with some -core tendancies still there, but I can say that they seem to be okay and that the album is a killer. Favorite songs were Two Pound Torch, The Golden Square Mile, and Cleanising the Hosts.

I also listened to 'Nettlecarrier' by Nettlecarrier, it was solid black metal, but it was nothing new, solid but kind of typical. Great songs were The Boiled Blood, Bundent till Mastern, and Demoriel.

I also polished off the 'An Inherent Repression' by Psycroptic, and it was one of the best of this year by what I've heard, any song is worth your time.

I also made it almost all the way through 'Helvetios' by Eluveitie, I'll talk about that next week



'Props to Mob Rules. Been a fan of Sabbath for 35yrs and have always gone back to Mob Rules/Heaven and Hell as my most listened to Albums....'

Posted by: Michael Link

Greetings, Mr. Link,
'The Mob Rules is an awesome album, no doubt, though it hasn't moved up my most listened to albums list quite yet, I think the #1 spot belongs to 'Megadeth's Greatest Hits' for me.

Looks like my comments got lost with the shift to the new format. Well, let me repeat a few of them:

IMO, Criss Oliva (Savatage) is a highly underrated guitarist that would easily belong in my top three (along with Alex Lifeson and Eddie Van Helen in his prime. More than many metal guitarists he captured the tone of metal music perfectly. His solos were a true thing of beauty, and I dare anyone to find a solo as awesome as the one in "Ghost in the Ruins." It's a real shame that Savatage and Oliva never really got their dues because they could easily have been a major player in the music industry with a bit of luck and timing. However, I can take heart that the band's alter ego Trans Siberian Orchestra have become a holiday staple.

BTW, any thoughts about the Anette and Nightwish splitting up? IMO, there clearly has to be something more to the story than just that single incident. If that was all there is, it is pretty unprofessional on both their parts. However, they do have a fine temporary replacement in Floor Jansen, who sounded great with After Forever, and comes closer to Tarja's operatic style. Part of me wishes that I could see that live.

Posted by: Michael L

Welcome back, Michael L,

Yeah, I hate that, but this comment system is superior. Criss Oliva is an awesome guitarist, though 'Hall of the Mountain King' is my only full exposure to Savatage, but I know that is work is great and I need to see TSO sometime, because they always come to my state.

I wish I'd have seen this question earlier because I could have done the conversing in my last column rather than as one of my news stories, but I think that you're corect, because they got that replacement out very quick, and I think that both sides were unprofessional, but I guess in music not everyone is a gentleman/woman and things don't always get done with the greatest of ease and respect. I'm sure they'll tour with her sometime, if they choose to keep her.

Nice column as always Coop. Can't disagree with your thoughts about the top 10 list at all.

Posted By: Jeremy Thomas

The man, the myth, the mod, welcome back Jeremy, and thank you for the kind words.

Finally, we have come to the column closer, the GLOBAL METAL PICK OF THE WEEK!, this week, our pick comes from Paraguay, and the band is a traditional metal band with some thrash tendancies (rather than Suicidal ones), the band is called Steel Rose and the song that I picked is called "Madre" and it comes for the album 'Angelis'.

Alright,so if you have any opinions on the column, some genre or country that you want me to feature in the global metal column, or if you just want to talk metal you can e-mail me at themetalcoop@gmail.com, tweet me at @themetalcoop or sign up below and join in the conversation by commenting.

And I of course, will leave you in the immortal words of the greatest metal guitarist ever, Chuck Schuldiner, those words were, KEEP THE METAL FAITH ALIVE \m/


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