Music’s 3Rs 2.11.13: A Wrong Would Do You Good…
Posted by Sean Comer on 02.11.2013
From Chris Brown's probation being revoked and Beyonce trying to get pictures from her Super Bowl performance removed from the internet to Taylor Swift becoming the new face of Diet Coke and more, 411's Sean Comer breaks down the Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous from the week in music!
"BROUGHT TO YOU BY…"
Vandelay Industries and 411mania.com present this week's Music's 3 Rs with limited suckitude, brought to you by the Southern & Longmore Starbucks in scenic Mesa, AZ, as well as the following.
Dido, "Here With Me"
The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "Black Tongue"
The 5,6,7,8s, "I'm Blue"
The only video you should ever show anyone to get across Mos Def's appeal…
The Irresponsibles, "Break Me"
Welcome, Babies, back to my personal weekly three-ring circus. Remember, I didn't break the news. It was that way when I got here.
I apologize duly that last weekend came and went without a column. A nasty bug beat me down for a few days, and left me with precious little wherewithal to betray a sense of humor. Though I agreed to put together a column for Monday, I spent the day and subsequent evening entertaining some unexpected company.
That being said, I'm back like vertebrae, and that's what counts. Right? Right.
Maybe I'm wRong.
Nah, why be so Ridiculous?
Bear in mind, though the Grammy Awards roll on as a I write this, I haven't the turnaround to incorporate the show's happenings into this week's editions. Therefore, look next week for my thoughts on the recording industry's big night.
"Maybe you're wrong, but maybe, just maybe I'm Right…"
Lindsey Stirling is incredibly well-adjusted to fame
Watch closely, Babies. The following may be the most bless-her-heart adorable instance of a woman letting five fingers have words with a fellow's cheek.
As with the FamilyJules7X feature two weeks ago, this isn't exactly "news" but simply something that I found irresistibly entertaining. Stirling just kills with cuteness and submits my heart-strings with sweetness, even when this beaming fan asked her this past November to give him a good slap to remember her by.
I've met some musicians who go above and beyond some pales in the name of gratitude toward their appreciative, ardent fans. Stirling is so sweetly merciful even when reluctantly obliging this young man, that I think I shall commission someone or another more savvy than I to make me a title-banner GIF incorporating this adorable slap.
Chris Brown fans: please, think possible outcomes through carefully before emulating this man.
Meet The Irresponsibles
You meet the damnedest people on Facebook.
This past week, I meandered into an unexpected conversation. I've long been a fan of The Irresponsibles, an unsigned veteran band of the Adelaide, Australia club scene whose rock has an enjoyably rough sandpaper grit woven with coarse threads of Stereophonics, Led Zeppelin and Foo Fighters since three of the four current members came together in 2007.
I happened to make mention of my longtime personal-favorite Irresponsibles song in a status, their ode to the roughest, best kind of mattress dancin', "Break Me". A day later, I had a moment that just made me go "Huh!": Tash Neame, the guitarist positively incinerating a six-string in the video above and contributing some tasty backing vocals, personally dropped me a line to inquire about my history with the tune.
We talked at length, and by the time the chat was over, I felt not so much like I'd just chatted up a musician I admire as I did that I had just made friends with a cool lady who just happens to play one wicked, sinful guitar.
To make a long story short, you'll never meet a more grounded pack on any continent that just never stop loving what they do.
"We do EVERYTHING ourselves including managing our Facebook page, emails, booking gigs etc, as we simply don't get paid enough to be able to employ a manager - heck we all still work full time!" Tash told me. "So I guess that since we're average working people & geeks that just like to rock out whenever we can it makes it easier to connect with fans."
Stay tuned to The Rs, Babies. Tash is all too happy to provide Yours Truly with some updates on the recording of their new album this year, as well as goings-on the band's "softer side" acoustic side project, Little Miss. She herself described it to me as a way for the band to explore sounds and styles that don't fit snugly within The Irresponsibles' signature rough-and-tumble, straight-ahead-in-fifth-gear rock.
Meantime, readers residing Down Under themselves should absolutely bookmark the band's upcoming show on Saturday Feb. 16 at the Crown & Anchor Hotel with Surviving Sharks. Really, it's no ordinary show: Tash, lead singer Miranda Mizurek and bassist Mat Youels will be introducing a live crowd to the band's new drummer. Keep up with more info on the date right here.
If you need further convincing – at Tash's own recommendation – check out the 2010 clip below for "Pretty Boy". Miranda and Tash's vocals remind me in the most thrilling way possible of early Heart, especially "Barracuda".
"I don't wanna fight, Jack, but you ain't ever right, you know you wRong…"
Taylor Swift becomes new advertising face of Diet Coke Announcement of this breaking development is brought to you this week on 411mania.com by a partnership of Music's 3 Rs and the Coalition for Giving the World One More Reason to Drink More Pepsi…
…More succinctly, CGWOMRDMP.
"How could I possibly be inconspicuous, when my flow is f***in' Ridiculous?"
California may finally get around to jailing Chris Brown
I know, I know.
I proclaimed minimal emphasis upon non-musical news, and a turn away from tabloid scraps.
Nevertheless … it's Chris Brown. The possibility that this 150-pound sack of excrement and crazy might be locked away from people with souls merits a special little toast.
TMZ reported this week that the Los Angeles District Attorney's office has filed a motion claiming that Brown lied about completing the 180-hour community service spanking he received for beating the hell out of then/current girlfriend Rihanna the night before the 2009 Grammy Awards.
Mark Geragos, Brown's attorney, disputes the D.A.'s accusation that "No human being ever witnessed" Brown's service. He's bringing to the picnic both invoices and checks reportedly proving that Brown gave the Richmond Police Department $31,534.70 as payment for providing a security detail during his service. The D.A. previously claimed that Brown made no such payment.
Then there's this.
Neil Cobb had been previously quoted as claiming that he never saw Brown actually cleaning the Virginia Children's Center floors as Brown reported he did as part of his probation. "He mighta did floors ... but he didn't do it with me. I never said the guy didn't do his community service."
Then there's this.
Brown was involved in an auto accident Saturday that the singer claims was caused by reckless paparazzi that caused him to slam his Porsche into a wall. INF employer Chris Doherty disputed the claim and fired back, "No photographers were following him at the time he crashed ... He crashed his car and it's convenient for him to blame us. He needs to be careful with his defamatory statements."
Folks, he's done. Crazy O'Batshit has actually surpassed the point wherein any parody or satire of him could be ridiculous enough to be funny. Somewhere, DMX is shaking his head and muttering, "You, sir, have problems."
Beyonce fails Internet
So, following Beyonce's largely well-received Super Bowl halftime show last weekends, some unflattering, inopportune mid-set pictures meandered their way onto BuzzFeed. Her publicist then proceeded to demand that BuzzFeed remove the offending snaps that supposedly portrayed her in less-than-flattering poses.
The Internet's response?
Beyonce clearly needs the Internet explained to her. For someone so worldly and well-traveled, she's awfully sheltered, naïve and perhaps a tad dim.
Rule Number One, Peanut: The Internet is forever.
Once something is there, it's there to stay, and it is fair game. The truly thick-skinned roll the taunts of trolls off their backs, perhaps firing an acid-tongued reply or two before opting wisely just to wait out a pretty short attention span for fun-poking memes.
Either you, Pumpkin Bar, or perhaps simply your overzealous white-knight publicist just did the absolute dumbest thing you could've possibly done: you betrayed being upset by the photos. You didn't merely chum the water.
You made a Piranha 3-D blood orgy of it.
More to the point, f*** every single last bag of both of you.
Congratulations, you stuck-up, nitwit flavored lollipop dipped in fail. You've demonstrated that you can't handle a fairly simple travail that the rest of us who've been comfortably making our homes online for years have come to accept as a risk: the possibility that you might get bagged on over an awkward photo. What really makes you any better than anybody else who in the same situation would've just eaten the s*** sandwich, choked on the taste of it, and endured until the maelstrom of ribbing passed?
It's not so much that I support the people who mocked her. It's more so that either she or her publicist is so out of touch with the unwritten laws of regular folk, that either would think they could demand something be erased from the Internet because this isn't an icky regular person, it's Beyonce.
Guess what, B.? We have a meme for that, too.
Kanye West doesn't get it, either
See that photo? Yes, Kanye West also thought that he could demand something be wiped from the face of the Internet.
West apparently became the target of a Lord Jamar diss track called "Lift Up Your Skirt" after Kanye's photos from his 12-12-12 Hurricane Sandy Relief Concert pics surfaced courtesy of Getty Images. He wore the same leather kilt during 2012's Watch the Throne tour alongside friend and mentor Jay-Z.
"He introduced the skinny jeans to the rap scene/Then he wore a f***ing skirt on the video screen/Then he wore it again at a memorial/I can't pretend this sh*t ain't deplorable," Jamar rapped.
Stay broke, Babies. Money murders brain cells.
Of all people, shouldn't Nature's Little Oopsie know better by now?
The sun's comin' up…I'm ridin' with Lady Luck
The time for talking is through, Babies. Another week, three more Rs. In place of a cherry on this lunacy sundae with extra nuts, have a jumbo scoop of MOMENT OF GWAR!
Keep your powder dry and your stick on the ice. I'm Sean. You're not. Never dull your colors for someone else's canvas.