The Savage Animal 03.06.13: Videography of The Darkness
Posted by Mikey MiGo on 03.06.2013
Do you believe in a thing called music videos? In THIS 334th edition of The Savage Animal Mikey MiGo takes a look at the epic videography of The Darkness. All of this, a rant on racists, a review of Seven Psychopaths, and a look at the new Star Trek movie!
Can Good People Be Racist?
No. For the longest time you'd hear people have to apologize for the "older generation" for being racist. The fucked up rationale was "they're from a different time". Yes, they are from the time when racist pieces of shit didn't get for it. It's 2013 and we're past this now. If you, your family, or anyone you know are racist then you, your family, or anyone you know are a bad person. There is just no possible rationale you or your ignorant brain can come up with to justify racism in 2013. If you're still living in some kind of murky past then you're just a stupid person.
Did someone of a different race wrong you once? It happens. Assholes are assholes no matter what race they are. Just because one, two, or even a group of people "wronged you" it doesn't give you ANY justification to HATE an entire race of people. It's stereotypes on top of stereotypes. It's stereotypical racists hating the stereotypes of the race they've decided to hate.
If this is you, you're garbage. I don't care if you love your children, work hard at your job, or go to church every god damn day. If you're using energy, physical or mental, to blindly hate someone based on the color of their skin or nationality then you are not a "good person". You never will be.
I'm sure there is some retarded racist out there using retarded logic to hate a certain race. Why even go that far? If you're that sad of a person why not just hate EVERYONE? If your life is so bad then why stop at one race? If you feel that strongly about your hate then own up on it. Go invest your money in a tattoo of whatever racial slur you enjoy the most. This way you'll let the rest of us know that you're someone that should be pissed on. I hate racist people with their stupid skin color, lame sexual orientation, and stupid religion. I think we should lynch those fucking racists… or at least enslave them.
THE VIDEOGRAPHY OF THE DARKNESS
EPIC SHIT!!! There are songs that everyone loves and then there are songs that are pretty damn polarizing. When I first heard "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" my mind was blown. I went out and got the Permission to Land CD and rocked it as much as possible. I'd soon learn that I was on one side of the fence. Some people, like me, loved the hell out of the song and it annoyed the shit out of others.
Those people just didn't get it. If you did, you'd appreciate the arena-sized energy, the melody and catchiness, the hint of tongue-in-cheek irony, and the huge dose of rocking the eff out. That first album was great. The hit single is what brought many to the album, but the album was full of some of the best glam rock from the past twenty or so years. If you're not a fan, you're missing out.
Now I'm not going to pretend to be a super fan or something. I bought the Permission to Land album and loved it but then I never went any farther. By 2005, I had moved on. I did listen to the second album, but it never grabbed me the same way. I have a feeling it may have been just ignorant neglect on my part. Then the band broke up for a few years before finally getting back together in 2011. They put out their third album in 2012 and I'm admittedly behind in the times.
Today I'm going to check out their music video history. This means I get to rock out to the stuff I know and see what I missed. Regardless, this should be fun…
Track: "Get Your Hands Off My Woman"
Album: "Permission to Land"
Year: 2003
Director: Unknown
I've never seen this one. The band enters to cheering fans as they all pile into a small venue. The band rocks out on the stage as the fans jump around. The cuts are quick, the energy is at a high level, and the shots are interesting. A lot of videos like this are on the bland side, but this one is cool. Well made, despite obviously being a lower budget project. Not bad at all. Rating: 6.5
Track: "Growing on Me"
Album: "Permission to Land"
Year: 2003
Director: Unknown
The intro is kind of amazing. A dinosaur latches onto a space ship and humps the shit out of it. How can you not automatically love that? It then cuts to a nice woodland area with pretty women hanging. The ship lands I think the eggs of the dinosaur open up and it's the band members. That's a lot to take in. The adult version of the band rocks out in various locations like the bathroom, outside hunting, and on a horse. There is a lot going on here. It's all amusing, well shot, and creative. This is one of those videos you need to just show people instead of describing. Really cool stuff. Rating: 8.5
Track: "I Believe in a Thing Called Love"
Album: "Permission to Land"
Year: 2003
Director: Alex Smith
This song does NOT get old. If you don't love this song, then you're a bad person. For most fans this is where it all started. The song hit the radio and the video hit MTV like a ton of bricks. The song was and is catchy as hell. It's not a song I can listen to everyday, but it's a song I can't help but enjoy and love. The video is great. The band rocks out on a spaceship while fighting monsters. What isn't glorious about that? It's shot well, the direction is cool, the graphics are perfect in that tongue-in-cheek kind of sci-fi way. They cram a lot of entertainment, interesting shots, and creativity into this video. I'd not be doing this column if it weren't for THIS video. The over-head clapping and guitar solo to follow is the definition of "epic". Rating: 9.0
Track: "Friday Night"
Album: "Permission to Land"
Year: 2003
Director: Unknown
This is the final installment of the band's "spaceship trilogy". It starts were "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" finished. The band is safe and secure until their ship crashes. They end up in the ocean and then an island. They rock out as normal and hang out with the island people. All is good, but once they try to get away they find themselves being cooked for dinner. It's a silly concept for sure, but they make it work. They own their insanity and I think that's what makes it so damn fun. On a technical front, it looks awesome. The shots, the colors, the costumes, and settings are really good. Rating: 8.0
Track: "Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End)"
Album: "Permission to Land"
Year: 2003
Director: Unknown
I'm surprised I never saw this one. It's a fun bonus track from this first album that never got the love it should have. The video has the band unwrapping presents and, of course, rocking out in the snow. Justin Hawkins misses his girlfriend and before we know it his buddies come through with the gift of a new car that his girlfriend just so happens to be waiting in. It's a pleasant video. You don't see many rock bands put out Christmas videos anymore. It's really cheesy and feels like a parody more than anything, but it's still amazing. The coolest part is the spaceship cameo at the end. Then again, the robot solo is bad ass too. Rating: 7.0
Track: "Love Is Only a Feeling"
Album: "Permission to Land"
Year: 2004
Director: Alex Smith
This is the band's most casual video, but the visuals they got are stunning. It was shot on top of a mesa called "Flat Rock" in Wentworth Falls in the Blue Mountains of Australia. They got tons of great shots here and the editing is perfect. It doesn't have a narrative and there is nothing too silly going on, but I'm not complaining. I really dug the wall of speakers too. I know it's been done before, but it looked cool. Rating: 8.5
Track: "One Way Ticket"
Album: "One Way Ticket to Hell...and Back"
Year: 2005
Director: Tim Pope
This is a weird one. We are told via narrator that hell has frozen over and pretty much that rock music sucks right now. The demon version of Justin Hawkins sits in a frozen hell pouting and being angry. Meanwhile, the band travels through the snow and experience the travel. They get to a spot and rock out! Fire is restored! All is better! Hell thaws out! What a weird video. The evil Hawkins reminded me of Ozzy from the Bark at the Moon cover. Rating: 6.5
Track: "Is It Just Me?"
Album: "One Way Ticket to Hell...and Back"
Year: 2006
Director: Tim Pope
Justin Hawkins looks really casual as he sits at a fancy table writing a letter with a feather pen. It's a dramatic love letter type of thing that leads to the build up for a marriage. For some reason he sits by a window singing sadly and eating a candy bar. I had to look it up and apparently it's a parody of a famous UK candy commercial. He ends up waiting to get married to himself, in a wedding gown. The guitar solo hits just as they start to make out together. The man version of Justin throws the female version over his shoulder and runs out of the church. Chaos and metal follows. At one point Justin Hawkins in the wedding gown and veil rocks out on the guitar! Madness! Rating: 7.0
Track: "Girlfriend"
Album: "One Way Ticket to Hell...and Back"
Year: 2006
Director: Tim Pope
It looks like the 80's. Everyone runs into a dance class. We see a "80s'd-out" Justin Hawkins dancing his ass off in an empty warehouse like many 80's dance movies. The song breaks as tons of hot women show up and dance with him. It seems like a ton of fun. The dancing is silly, but I'm sure the choreography was a bitch. The band then rocks out on a stage and there is a keytar sighting! The women dance all around as the band proceeds to get in every 80's hair metal cliché they can. Well done! I'm a sucker for unexpected choreography. Rating: 7.5
Track: "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us"
Album: "Hot Cakes"
Year: 2012
Director: Thom Lessner & Ted Passon
This video opens with a radio news report about everyone being sad as we roam the room of The Darkness's superfan. It's a young girl decked out in Darkness memorabilia drawing at a desk. We get treated to an animated video! It's got a throwback vibe. It reminds me of the cartoons you'd see on SNL. There is A LOT going on including Bike riding, Flamingos, wizards, boxing, karate, and PRINCE! Then it gets awesome as paper cut outs of the band go into overdrive and rock out in the real world. It's a cool effect for sure. Meanwhile, the littler super fan girl rocks out in her room. It's a simple, but really well done and cute idea. The animation is fun and fits the band's vibe perfectly. The escapism of their brand of metal is in full effect here. Awesome video. Rating: 8.0
Track: "Every Inch of You"
Album: "Hot Cakes"
Year: 2012
Director: Unknown
I shouldn't include this, but it's still technically one of their "official music videos." An attractive business woman sits reading in chair. The groove of the music hits and she gets up and starts dancing. She slowly and seductively strips down. We get a quick and choppy shot of Justin Hawkins dropping an obscenity. The rest is a lyric video. It's the words of the song in a fun bouncy way. The guitar solo hits and we go back to the artsy black and white shot of the extremely hot woman dancing in her underwear. That's about it. It's just creatively edited words and a black and white shot of a hot woman dancing in her underwear. But let's be fair, it's a really hot woman and she's a greeeeat dancer. I shouldn't rate it high at all, but I'm a heterosexual male. This video spoke to me. Rating: 7.0
Track: "Everybody Have a Good Time"
Album: "Hot Cakes"
Year: 2012
Director: Warren Fu
Holy shit. I was always a fan of The Darkness, but this has to be one of the best music videos of all time. I'm disgusted in humanity for this not being heralded as the visual gem that it is. I know I sound like I'm being sarcastic, but I really enjoyed this video. Let's break it down. It's a board room. A man sits and can't figure out a math formula. The company is losing money. The boss is pissed off. A young new guy has an idea. He presses the start button on his radio and the song kicks in. A bear in a bikini enters the room and starts stripping and dancing. The business people aren't having any of it and the young dude tells him to stop. As the bear leaves he solves the math problem. Financial success and happiness ensues. Meanwhile, the band rocks out in a small venue setting for a lot of people in suits and jacket. We find all is good for everyone, but now the bear is now stressed out and is forced to figure everything out. The business people end up at The Darkness show. They go backstage with the band. The band hates them, but they insist on showing them the bear. They flaunt their slave bear and treat him like crap. The Darkness doesn't like the way they're treating him so the band kicks ass and saves the bear! A big shoot out goes down! The band dies in the process, but somehow the bear and Justin Hawkins get free. They go off to be alone where they get all frisky and start banging. The bear eventually turns into a hot chick. Holy shit. This is metal as fuck. Rating: 10.0
What is YOUR favorite video by The Darkness?
"SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS"
I'm a huge fan of dark comedy. Seven Psychopaths is a dark comedy. That would typically mean I'd enjoy a movie, but not always. Seven Psychopaths paints its own picture. It stars Colin Farrell as a struggling writer. His actor friend, Sam Rockwell, gets involved in some low level criminal shit while trying to work out his own struggling acting career. The writer is putting together a screenplay called "Seven Psychopaths", a film about seven crazy people and their stories. Rockwell's friend is Christopher Walken, a crazy older gentleman who provides his own input on the story. Rockwell gets deep into some shit and ends up being chased down by Woody Harrelson, a crazy gangster, over a stolen dog. As "wacky" as it sounds, it wasn't. It felt like "dark comedy" stories I've seen before and its twists and turns were a bit predictable. The writer getting lost in his own story has been done before too, most notably in "Adaptation". Basically, the "dark comedy" wheel is no reinvented here. So if you get past the fact that your mind isn't going to be blown you can enjoy the little things. Sam Rockwell is great, as always. Woody Harrelson is great, as always. Christopher Walken is great as always too, but ups his acting level a little here. He's pretty much the heart of the movie and carries it. The cameos and supporting roles were really strong too. Tom Waits, Abbie Cornish, Zeljko Ivanek, Kevin Corrigan, Harry Dean Stanton, Michael Pitt, and plenty of other cool familiar faces all show up. I did enjoy this movie. I don't want it to sound like it was a chore to watch or anything. There were some fun performances, the direction was good, and in general it was a fun movie. Then again, I'm a huge fan of dark comedy. I'll recommend it based on my own taste, but don't go into it expecting something creatively morbid as other notable dark comedies. It might not be for everyone, but you won't know unless you watch it. It's worth checking out. B-
"STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS"
The awkward nerds and William Shatner's weird acting forced me away from the world that is Star Trek. I'm a nerdy guy, but this is one area of the nerdom that I just never got into. The old show seemed hokey and cheesy and the "Next Generation" stuff was just too over my head to casually watch. Star Trek is a franchise you need to fully get into to really be a fan. I just never had the interest in it. A few years ago JJ Abrams put out the Star Trek movie and that all changed. I'm still not going to dig into the old school stuff, but I really dug the first movie. The action and story was entertaining, interesting, and well done. I got to get a full dose of the characters I've always "kinda knew" in a much more accessible way. The cast was awesome. This time the same cast comes back and we get more of the story. This will be the second Star Trek movie that I watch. I'm excited.
That's all for now. I hope YOU enjoyed the fuck out of this column as much as I enjoyed the fuck out of writing it. I forgot how AMAZING The Darkness is. These videos prove just how amazing they are. Next up is the "9 Most Memorable Album Covers of The 90s" and then I listen to the music of The Police for the first time. After that, it's almost April! Until next time… Have a Great Week!
