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Gossip Guide 11.27.13: Bound 2 Kanye & Kim
Posted by Jeremy Lambert on 11.27.2013

Gossip Guide here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of entertainment's elite.

All Too Well
(News stories involving celebrity hook-ups and break-ups)

Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner were spotted on a dinner date in Hollywood last weekend.

This makes perfect sense for Styles. He dated Taylor Swift, who wouldn't put out because she's a respectful young lady waiting for Mr. Right (his name is Jeremy Lambert), and now he's moved on to a Kardashian/Jenner, who have no problem putting out on first sight. Kendall has already exposed her breasts in the name of "art" and "modeling" so I'm sure she has no problem exposing her breasts, and possibly more, to Harry in the name of "love." It also makes sense for Styles because soon enough, One Direction will be completely forgotten as fans realize that they're not very talented and their songs suck. Seriously, what kind of boy band doesn't even have choreography? Once One Direction is No Direction, Harry is going need a fallback to stay in the spotlight, and who better to keep him in the spotlight than Kris Jenner's daughter?

We all know that this relationship isn't going to last though, because the only thing that gets you more publicity than a high profile hook-up is a high profile break-up. As a fan of the way Kendall Jenner looks (what can I say, I like a nice pair of legs), I hope she follows in Kim's footsteps and invests in a good video camera because she has the potential to be a bigger star than her sister. She already has the fashion line and modeling career, she's part of the reality show, and now she has a famous boyfriend. She just needs to take a nice vacation with said boyfriend, film everything that happens, and then act shocked when it ends up on the internet.

Kanye West has released his music video for "Bound 2" where he and wife Kim Kardashian have simulated sex on a motorcycle. In other Kimye news, Kanye has banned President Obama from using his or Kim's name and it's possible that their wedding will be filmed for television.

I didn't watch the video and I haven't liked the song since I heard it the first, and only, time I listened to "Yeezus" but from what my friends have told me, this is a terrible video that will lead to Kanye ranting about not winning a MTV Video Music Award for it. If I want to watch Kim Kardashian have sex, I'll watch a little tape titled "Kim Kardashian: Superstar" because at least her hair is moving in the right direction in that video. Who would've thought that Ray J would be a better director than Kanye?

As far as their wedding being filmed for TV, that's your least shocking news of the week. Their wedding was always going to be televised in some way. Even if it was just a plot on "Keeping Up With The Kardashians," it was still going to end up on TV. But of course this is Kimye along with Kris Jenner, which means a plot isn't good enough, they need an entire special. I just hope Kris Humphries and Myla Sinanaj end up crashing the whole thing.

On the latest edition of the Bachelor Pad, my co-host Deshaun Sheppard brought up a great point about Kimye saying that he doesn't believe that Kanye is actually in love with Kim, but he's more in love with the idea of her. Basically, he thinks Kanye loves that she's sexy and freaky, but as a person, he doesn't really love her. This is a strong statement that I happen to agree with. Just look at how he acts when it comes to her. Whether he's begging people to get her a star on the walk of fame or banning the President from speaking her name, he's constantly talking about her like she's an object and can't defend herself or make her own decisions. He never acted like this when it came to Amber Rose, and what's scarier, is that he's been acting like this before he and Kim even officially started dating, and now that he has her, he's going to let the world know it even if it crosses the line between "being proud of your girlfriend" and "objectifying your relationship."

I think the "Bound 2" video just further confirms Deshaun's point and chances are it's only going to get worse from here.

Adam Brody and Leighton Meester are engaged. The two have been dating since February.

A small part of me, the part that is in love with Leighton Meester and actually believe that I ever had a chance with her, is sad by this news. The larger part of me is very happy by this news. Like most normal people, I've seen every episode of "The O.C." and "Gossip Girl" and love the characters of Seth Cohen (Brody) and Blair Waldorf (Meester). In fact, in high school, I identified with Cohen as the shy geeky kid (he into comics, I was into wrestling, which was much cooler) who had a crush on the hot chick. And when Cohen finally landed Summer Roberts (played by Rachel Bilson), it gave me hope that I could finally land Kim Orr. And that's when I realized that television and real life are two different things.

Brody definitely has a TV type though. He dated Bilson while the two were on "The O.C." and now he's engaged to Meester. On the "The O.C." Bilson played a stuck up rich hot chick who was best friends with a hot mess. On "Gossip Girl" Meester played a stuck up rich hot chick who was best friends with a hot mess. If things don't work out with Meester, Lea Michele better watch out because Brody will definitely try and hook up with her.

This of course begs the question; who would you rather marry: Rachel Bilson or Leighton Meester?

Drake is dating Zoe Kravitz and using Rihanna as his "side chick."

Oh Rihanna, when will you ever learn? Stop messing around with guys like Chris Brown and Drake who are clearly just using you and have some self-respect. Granted a lot of this is your fault with all your instagram pictures and emo messages, but I honestly feel bad for you, and I'm not really a fan of your work or you in general. Just take a break, girl. Stop posting pictures and sad messages and stop hanging out with guys in the music industry. You bring a lot of this upon yourself since the warning signs are in front of you and yet you continue to go forward. You're not finding love in this hopeless place. So search elsewhere.

As for Zoe Kravitz and Drake, this is a clear retaliation move from Kravitz after last week's news that she was jealous of Jennifer Lawrence's success. Now she has herself a big time celebrity musician to keep her in the spotlight. I'm sure they're actually in love and Drake serenades her before bed and Zoe tells stories about her dad, but if he's going to the strip club with Rihanna a week earlier and refers to her as his "side chick" then obviously things won't be ending in a wedding for these two. At least we know who Drake will be referring to when he sings, "girl I aint even mad, swapping stories with your dad, while my side chick was waiting at my pad."

Malin Akerman has split from her husband Roberto Zincone after six years of marriage. The two just had their first child together in April.

This makes me sad. I don't care that they split, in fact, as a big fan of Malin Akerman and her show "Trophy Wife" my Evil Twin is happy that she's now single. But it makes me sad for the kid. On the bright side, he's only seven months old and has no clue about his parents split, which is better than being eight or so and having to deal with the issues. Still, when this kid is old enough to read, he's going to read about his parents divorcing when he was 7-months and he should immediately have a lot of questions.

For the sake of the kid, I hope that Malin and Roberto are able to remain friends in order to raise their son. I do find it ironic that in Akerman's show she plays a woman who marries a man that has three kids from two past relationships and now she's a woman with a kid from a past relationship looking for a new husband. I'll be your Kate Harrison, Malin, I'll be your Kate Harrison.

Better Than Revenge
(News stories involving celebrity feuds and disses)

Kanye West went on a rant against Bruno Mars for winning all the MTV Video Music Awards saying, "Bruno Mars won all the motherf--king awards and s--t. And I was thinking about what Rick Rubin told me, because I don't give a f--k about no TV show. But what I care about is if you're an artist and you work hard as f--k and the streets say that you deserve that s--t. Then can't no motherf--king networks try to gas everybody up so they can sell some product with the prettiest motherf--ker out."

Bruno Mars won 2 MTV VMAs, as if those awards actually mean something. And one was for Best Choreography, an award Kanye will never be up for. Macklemore won 3 awards, including Best Hip-Hop Video, so how come Kanye didn't go after him? Going after Bruno Mars not only seems random, but it also seems dumb. It's not like Bruno is a rapper who will actually respond to Kanye, which kind of makes Kanye out to be a b*tch for even attacking Bruno in the first place when Mackelmore would've been a more worthy target and someone who may've responded.

The most offensive part about Kanye's rant thought is him acting like Bruno Mars is just a pretty face who doesn't make good music or work hard. To me, Bruno Mars is one of the best entertainers in music today and works just as hard as anyone else. He puts on a good concert and pumps out consistently good music. Sure he might have a lazy day where he writes a "Lazy Song" but for the most part, he puts in his work. The dude is also extremely talented. The Pandora sketch when he hosted "Saturday Night Live" remains one of the best sketches in recent memory and very few people could've pulled it off.

If Kanye wants to attack someone, attack someone who will fire back. Oh wait, when he tried that, he got smoked by Jimmy Kimmel. Kanye just needs to realize that he's not as influential and important as he thinks, because if he was, he wouldn't be saying it, others would.

I can't wait until next year when Kanye freaks out over "Bound 2" not winning Video of the Year.

I Knew You Were Trouble
(News stories involving celebrities in trouble)

Chris Brown was kicked out of an anger rehab facility after throwing a rock at his mom's car after his mom encouraged him to get better. Brown has been sentenced to another rehab program including a 90-day at-home program.

Does any rational human being actually like this guy? I know the idiots that call themselves Team Breezy will blindly defend this super moron until he dies, but if you're a rational person and can defend him, please, entertain me. HA! TRICK QUESTION! If you can defend him, you're not a rational person.

Chris Brown is a waste of oxygen. His mom was trying to help him get better and he repays her by throwing a rock at her car. It's pretty easy to see why he was in anger rehab in the first place. Truth is, there is no saving Chris Brown. He was supposedly a "changed man" after the Rihanna situation and I'm still not sure what exactly has changed about him. Oh, he's done court mandated charity work, what a great guy. He's also still doing a bunch of drugs, still getting into fights, and still making terrible music. The only people worse than him is Team Breezy, who somehow still defend this guy and say dumb things like, "Chris Brown can beat me all he wants" or "Pray for Chris Brown." I don't pray for people who put themselves in this situation and don't want to be saved. And when Chris Brown screws with the wrong person and gets put in the hospital or overdoses on his drug of the week, it won't be some tragedy, it'll be his own fault for being the biggest moron on earth.

MSNBC has fired Alec Baldwin from his late-night show following his recent tirade at the paparazzi.

I can't say I blame MSNBC given that Alec Baldwin's show didn't really move the needle and he's clearly a head case who might go off on me on twitter when I asked him his thoughts on MSNBC firing him. As I said last week though, Baldwin will be fine. He'll host Saturday Night Live in the near future, make some jokes about the situation, and everyone will laugh and remember how funny he is. It doesn't make it right, but that's just how things work with celebrities.

Baldwin should secure a cameo on Charlie Sheen's "Anger Management" show as a way to make peace with this whole situation. There is a gay guy on the show and in Sheen's anger management group and I'm sure the writers could come up with plenty of material for Baldwin.

The Lucky One
(AJ Grey's Pic of the Week)

This week we have "90210" star Jessica Lowndes showing off her shoulder blades. I watched the new "90210" and always thought Lowndes had the most potential. Glad she's not afraid to show it off.

Our Song
(Music Pick of the Week)

Since this column is in the music section, until I get my own gossip section that is, I figure I should add a music pick of the week for everyone to enjoy.

This week, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I bring to you the official Thanksgiving theme song by Nicole Westbrook.

XOXO, Gossip Guide


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