The Savage Animal 12.11.13 Top 7 Indiana-Born Musicians
Posted by Mikey MiGo on 12.11.2013
Some states don’t get as much spotlight. Rightfully so, Mike’s home state of Indiana is one of them. In the 374th edition of The Savage Animal Mike figures out who, if any, are the top seven Indiana-born musicians. This, a TLC PPV preview, a look at Grudge Match, a review of Pain and Gain, and more!
" WWE TLC PPV 2013 Preview": I still don't give a shit about the WWE. I don't know why I'm even writing this. It's basically just out of habit. This is the last pay per view of the year. Since Royal Rumble I've made it a point to predict whatever matches were announced at the time of writing this section. I'll be interested to see how wrong I was about all my predictions over 2013. I genuinely have no clue. I'll tally that shit up and throw it into my Royal Rumble preview come January.
This show is going to probably be WAY better than it should be. By that I mean that on paper this card looks outstanding. The match ups sound good and if given time they'll deliver a great wrestling show. The problem is that you can't really believe any of that. They've diluted any interesting storyline they've had to the point of nauseating boredom. I love the WWE. I always will. It's just not hitting any marks right now. For all the great talent they have, no one is being given roles to really shine. It's always cliché to say someone in wrestling was "buried" or they're fighting against the "glass ceiling", but it's not any one individual these days. The ENIRE company is being buried and feels like they're ALL stuck under some kind of glass ceiling. It's almost as if they're burnt out or holding back. One or the other.
For some stupid reason CM Punk is taking on The Shield AND Daniel Bryan is taking on The Wyatt Family… both in 3 on 1 Handicap matches. It's pretty lame. Even if they pull a bait and switch, it's a really lame selling point for the show. If these matches do happen I see them going two ways. I go with Punk wins over The Shield, thus causing some tension between the group. Daniel Bryan should win too, but I expect him to be screwed around more and their storyline to move forward. Ideally, Punk and Bryan would start an anti-establishment group to take down "the man".
Then there's AJ taking on Natalya in a Divas Title match. This could be a divas match actually worth watching. I think AJ's run is running a little stale. Natalya gets the win.
I like the idea of Big E. Langston taking on Damien Sandow for the IC Title. It's a nice fresh match between two guys who have tons of upswing. This could be one of those matches that people look back on as a stepping stone for both guys. Sandow had a nice push this year. He didn't get tossed right into the main event, but his persona and value was clearly established. Langston is slowly growing into his own and with some ring presence and energy he could be HUGE. I like dig the fact they're letting it happen organically instead of rushing it like they did with Ryback. I don't care who wins. I just want it to continue with an interesting and engaging story. For the furthering of the story, I think I have to throw in the cheap win for Sandow. Yep, title change! Then the next night, Langston can take it RIGHT back.
They are supposedly unifying the titles with Cena and Orton going at it. In all honesty, I actually DO want to see this match. I think this would have been an epic WrestleMania 30 match though. It would be the two top people of an era going at it on the biggest stage. For better or for worse, these two have consistently been the faces of the company for the past decade or so. Both guys get bad wraps and are underappreciated in major aspects of things. Regardless, I have a hard time thinking ANYONE will win. I am half expecting this to end in shenanigans. Maybe they'll BOTH win, but they'll switch the belts. Like Orton pulls down the Big Gold and Cena pulls down the WWE at the "same time"… or something lame where NO ONE wins. Ideally, Triple H would come out and say the title is vacant and we'll crown a new unified champion at Royal Rumble, where for the first time since the early 90's, the championship is given to the winner. It would make Royal Rumble the biggest ever and they could do a lot with people trying to fight for spots to be involved. This won't happen. Of course not.
Top 7 Indiana-born Musicians
"Hoosier State Heroes!" Indiana's state slogan should be "Everyone's Gotta Be From Somewhere". Outside of Hoosier's high school basketball legends thanks to a movie, outside of the persistent pursuit for the politics to remain fifty years in the past, outside of racing really fast in a circle, not having a major league baseball team, and even outside of the state's passion for corn… Indiana has one thing going for it.
No, not all of them. I'd say about 77%* of Indiana sucks. You see, being a life-long resident I can say that. Then there's that 23% lingering out there, spread out, and probably only 10% of those people could even bare to be in the room together. So pretty much, doing the math… 1 out of every 0.25 people in Indiana sucks. That's not an error, folks.
Some of the people in Indiana aspire to be something outside the confines of the droopy square shaped state that is Hoosier. There are plenty of famous people and successful people to come out of Indiana. The problem is that it's just not as represented as it should. A few shows are set in Indiana now, but the essence is never captured. Certain areas of Indiana area are like different worlds within themselves. It's NOT all overalls, Colt jerseys, and ugly numb people… only 77%*!
I was surprised to find out how many "amazing" to "really cool" musicians are from Indiana. I'm going to take a look at my own favorite top seven list of musicians that were born in Indiana. Ths topic will not be for everyone. I'm sure at least 1/50th of America will be curious and proud of this. The rest of the world should just give it a pity-read.
Some are pretty obvious; especially the easy number one choice. Like him or not, you know who number one is going to be….
(* - Not a proven statistic. It's probably higher.) 7.) TIE - FREDDIE GIBBS/ADAM LAMBERT
[Gary, Indiana / Indianapolis, Indiana] - There is no way these two names have ever only been separated by a black-slash. So in that respect, I feel this column accomplished all it needs to. I can wrap it up now, but I'll stroll on. Freddie Gibbs is the latest rapper to hit from Gary, Indiana. They have been a few in the past decade or two to get out there a little bit, but I can't think of any to get there on the level of Gibbs. He had a major release, saw videos on the major networks, and showed up on a few TV shows. He constantly tosses in shout outs to Gary and it's never a doubt where he's coming from. He's still young and has some more time to grow or to fade, but regardless, he's tied on this list with Adam Lambert. I am not a fan of Lambert's music, but I respect his style and his openness. There isn't much glam rock out there anymore and he's carrying the flag proudly. It's not exactly my style, but the fact that he's doing something different gets him credit in my book. He was born in Indianapolis, but was moved to San Diego not too long after being born. Eh, it's a lousy Indiana representative but at least I got to pair up these two polar opposites in the seven spot! 6.) SHANNON HOON
[Lafayette, Indiana] - Shannon Hoon is an artist and human being that the world lost way too soon. Hoon was born in Lafayette, Indiana. It's a bigger town in Indiana, but it still has a small town vibe. He played football, wrestled, and was a pole vaulter in school and was into music. He graduated high school and went on to play in a few local bands. He bounced around for a little while before moving to Los Angeles to put his dreams to the test. There he'd work with fellow Hoosier Axl Rose and become one of the most loved hippy figures of the 90s. He just had a really positive vibe to him. In the videos, live show bootlegs, and interviews he just seemed like someone you'd want to know your name. 5.) COLE PORTER
[Peru, Indiana] - When I saw that Cole Porter was on the list of musicians from Indiana my first reaction was a out loud exclamation of "Cole Porter!" Then I had to click and figure out who the hell he was. I knew the name and I knew it was important, but I'll be 100% honest that I didn't know what I was clicking. I turns out I DO know Porter's work. He was an early 1900's songwriter who kicked major ass. He was classically trained but used his talents for a more Broadway-based musical theatre style. He was from one of the richest families in the state and was encouraged to be a lawyer by trade. He was sent to the best schools and soaked up the knowledge. He took this and put into his productions. He was one of the few to actually write lyrics AND music for his productions, which earned him a bit of respect. He's the first Tony Award winner for Best Musical via his classic "Kiss Me, Kate". He's got a list of famous songs, but my favorite is "I've Got You Under My Skin". Respect. 4.) DAVID LEE ROTH
[Bloomington, Indiana] -
David Lee Roth is barely from Indiana, but anything barely by David Lee Roth is still not too shabby. He was born in Bloomington, Indiana. His father was an ophthalmologist and an real estate investor who did VERY well for himself. So well he'd even go on to appear on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. David Lee Roth is too cool for Indiana. So cool that before moving to California and blowing the minds of a trillion people galaxy wide that he had to live in a place called "Swampscott, Massachusetts" for a while before going to Cali. He had to shake the Hoosier stank off. Still, when making this list I saw David Lee Roth on it and had to include him. I think we all need to take any excuse we can get to listen to old school Van Halen. Consider this your excuse. 3.) AXL ROSE
[Lafayette, Indiana] - William Rose was born in Lafayette, Indiana. He had a troubled youth that left him a bit screwed up, but he would learn to adapt. Part of that was getting into music at school. He played piano, sang chorus, and formed a band with his friend Jeff who would later become Izzy Stradlin. He still found time to be a juvenile delinquent and get into a lot of trouble. He'd move to Los Angeles in 82 and never look back. I'm a big fan of Axl Rose. Yeah, I said it. Anyone can say they love Guns N' Roses. I'm pretty sure the Pope, the bad guys, and your grandmother love Guns N' Roses. It's part of the air, water, and earth that is who we are. GNR is THAT great of a rock band. Axl Rose is the frontman of that band is out there today doing his thing. 2.) JOHN COUGAR MELLENCAMP
[Seymour, Indiana] - John Cougar Mellencamp is nor cougar nor a man. He's kind of in between. He's a REAL Hoosier. He's what this state is all about. His songs have always had a heartland theme and were from the soul. He's just a normal seeming dude who lucked out into a life of humble Rockstar. He went to Vincennes University, the same school as a good friend of mine. He had a normal college life of partying, enjoying music, and enjoying the mind blanking parts of weed. He played in local rock bands while working as a phone installer in his hometown of Seymour. He's now living right outside of Bloomington, Indiana. It's a college town so it's got some live and some arts to it, but it's still Indiana so you can throw a rock in any direction and hit a rusty pick-up. He's just a home boy. He's often spotted around town and he's always on the sidelines with his lady friend and modern iconic actress Meg Ryan. He's not trying to go soak up Hollywood or some trendsetting city. He's sticking to his roots while maintaining the same Rockstar status he's had since he was telling us lil' ditty's about Jack and Diane. 1.) MICHAEL JACKSON
[Gary, Indiana] - How obvious was this one? I once heard a track from a local hip hop group that said they are "G-I, till they D-I". Michael Jackson is going to be "G-I" forever. The city of Gary doesn't have a whole lot going for it these days. It's making progress for the first time in years, but it's a long way from the glory days of the Jackson Five playing dives on Broadway. Michael Jackson was born to a working-class, mill working family. Joe Jackson worked at the steel mill and was a performer himself. His direction and firm hand would push the Jackson boys into becoming one of the best R&B groups of all time. Michael gets tons of love, but people sleep on the fact that the actual group itself, Jackson Five was a stellar R&B outfit. Then again, who are we kidding. Michael Jackson is arguably the best Earth-born musician of all time. He is "The King of Pop" and one of the most successful performers of all time. His story is known by just about everyone and his music has been experienced by even more. People in third world countries still know this man's name. Michael Jackson is in the upper tier of pop culture relevance only comparable to the Mozarts, the Abe Lincolns, and the Shakespeares of the world. Michaels Jackson's cultural impact is on THAT level. Only Elvis and The Beatles could possibly even be brought up in a conversation like that. No matter anyone thinks Michael Jackson is the fucking truth.
There are ingredients to this movie that would normally make me not want to watch it. First off, Michael Bay does not make movies for people like me. He makes popcorn movies for the general public. I like a good action movie as much as anyone, but I've just not seen a Michael Bay movie that made me excited. I like more cerebral movies; movies of substance if you will. I'm also not huge on Mark Wahlberg. I think he's an awesome person based on interview, the projects he produces, and the roles he takes. He's just not an actor that I see the name of and think "I want to see that!" That said, I've seen movies starring or featuring Mark Wahlberg that I've loved. So it's hit and misses with him. I do however enjoy the work of Dwayne Johnson. He's improving his acting range and getting out there more and more. I think he has a good dramatic performance in him that's dying to come out. This movie ended up being pretty good despite my jaded and snarky mood going into it. I just didn't expect much. The direction and look of the movie was cool. It was very stylized, but not over-done. It felt like you were watching something different than normal TV and movies. The plot revolves around Wahlberg's character, an overly ambitious muscle head. He gets a job as a trainer and recruiter as a sleazy gym and eventually decides he's due more than he's earned. He hooks up with another trainer, Anthony Mackie, and eventually with a soft-hearted trainer in Dwayne Johnson. Mackie has a fun role of being impotent, marries Rebel Wilson, and has some great lines and moments. His performance really stood out to me. He was entertaining, but still engaging in a real way. Johnson was good as the overly sensitive trainer. He was a monster with the heart of a puppy. This would end up being a problem for the crew. Before you know it, these muscle-heads are kidnapping, extorting, torturing, and getting in WAY over their head. I don't want to get too far into the plot because I think this is the kind of movie that benefits from having low or no expectations and knowing as little about the plot or story as possible. I don't even remember the trailer for this movie, but I know I had a good time watching it. It's not the best movie ever, but it could be the best Michael Bay movie ever. B+
"Worst Case Scenario" is a new take on the concept of "fantasy booking". For years professional wrestling fans would spend endless hours of thinking up the coolest things that could happen. Why waste the energy? This only leads to high expectations. "Worst Case Scenario" flips that. Instead of looking through rose colored glasses, let's take a bi-weekly look at the worst possible scenarios in professional wrestling. I'm not going to be malicious or anything too mean, but I will not refrain from letting my brain come up with the worst possible shit I can. Sadly, it seems the writers and producers of mainstream TV wrestling and the mainstream iPPV level indies are doing the same thing but charging us for it. And now…
"WWE Age Limits!"
The WWE is full of aging men in shiny underwear. The problem is that a job like that can be done by anyone who convincingly look and act the part. If you're good you can captivate an audience for years. If you're great you not only captivate them, but you compel them to spend their money. That's really the goal here; entertain to the point of profit.
In the WWE things get stagnant. Money is made, but it all levels out and things become complacent. The John Cenas, the Undertakers, Triple Hs, and the others all keep on trucking deep into their late 30s and 40s. I don't hold it against them and I do get entertainment from them, but it creates no new jobs.
That's where age limits would come in. Let's say 38. If you're 38 you're forced to retire from the active roster. Harsh, but it's best for business.
It's not the end, it's a chance for the WWE to institute a legends league and have a completely retro product. There can be crossovers of course. Maybe there can be inter-fed belts or rivalries. We all know how hard they have separating brands.
The problem is that you know the Legends league would get more love and focus. Eventually, it would just be RAW and the whole limit would become a goal for young wrestlers. Imagine a 35 year old man striving to be old enough to be part of the Legend League. The importance would definitely shift.
Basically, the focus goes where Triple H aims himself.
This movie is going to be awesomely bad. I'm not even excited about it for the right reasons. I feel like this movie is going to so cheesy and bad that it'll be good. This whole thing reminds me of the recent movie "Stand Up Guys". They take a few older awesome actors and put them in a movie so they can reference being old, complain about kids these days, and have over the top scenes to prove how much of a bad ass or "good guy" they are. I'm sure this movie has the same formula. The twist is that it's a boxing movie! Sylvester Stallone and Robert De Niro play old boxers who decide to get together and settle their grudge after 30 years. So they have one big fight to promote and the movie centers around that and their past. The rest of the cast is made up on Jon Bernthal, Kim Basinger, Kevin Hart, and of course Alan Arkin. I'm sure there will be a scene where they reference someone being youthful and crazy only to reveal them as old and sleeping. There will be a scene where someone is rude or mean to a young woman and the old boxer will step in and defend her. Someone won't recognize them. Their age will be in question and the words "remember when…" will be used too much. At the end, they'll have their battle and somehow all will be well. Lessons will be learned, laughs will be had, and this will be forgettable basic cable fodder for years to come. I think we need to make this a drinking game movie. Take one drink every time you're thirsty.
That's all for now! This was a fun one to put together. Sometimes the silliest topics are the most indulgent. For instance, next week I'm releasing a column I wrote entitled "Illuminati By Nature: The Top Seven", which is basically my top seven list of the alleged musicians tied with this alleged group. It's stupid fun, but why not? After that I touch base with some Christmas rambling and bam… 2014 is here. Things move quickly. In one week, things in MiGoville changes again. The next step in the Mike evolution is here. I'm looking forward to 2014 as the year I REALLY make my mark. 2012 and 2013 were used mainly to break me down and build me back up. 2014 is the year I'm going to become who I am going to be. I've worked hard and have taken many chances. There is some big ambitions and even bigger plans heading forward. This column is still part of that plan, but there will be some adjustments. Until next time… Have a Great Week!