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 411mania » Music » Columns

Gossip Guide 12.25.13: Duck Dynasty Drama
Posted by Jeremy Lambert on 12.25.2013

Gossip Guide here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of entertainment's elite.

All Too Well
(News stories involving celebrity hook-ups and break-ups)

Kate Upton and Maksim Chmerkovskiy have split.

This is great news for those of us, like my evil twin, who believe they actually have a chance with Kate Upton. I didn't know who Maksim Chmerkovskiy was prior to reading about them splitting, but his name is so difficult to type and pronounce that there was no way this relationship was going to work out. Kate Upton rolls off the tongue. Maksim Chamalamadingdong does not. Like most people in the entertainment industry, Kate doesn't need to date someone else in the entertainment industry. She needs someone who doesn't mind her busy schedule, can travel with her, and doesn't get jealous of all the photoshoots she does with barely any clothing and a dude with six pack abs holding her. I nominate Steve Cook. One thing that won't come out of this is Kate appearing on Dancing With Stars anytime soon. Although, if they really did split because they didn't see each enough, what better way to spend time together than be on the show and beg the producers to pair them up? And if their split was much more bitter than "we didn't see each other enough" what better way to create tension-filled television than be on the show and hope the producers love creating drama by pairing them up? Following this split, I can guarantee that Chmerkovskiy will not be winning the next season of DWTS as Upton is a big time jinx. Just ask Mark Sanchez and Justin Verlander.

Dwyane Wade and Gabrielle Union are now engaged.

Congrats to the couple. I'm mainly excited to see how many gossip blogs misspell "Dwyane" as "Dwayne" when writing this story.

As an Oklahoma City Thunder fan who despises the Miami Heat, I can only hope that this engagement affects how Wade plays on the court. I hope that Gabrielle drives him crazy with this wedding planning and Wade is thinking about which cake to have at his reception instead of making his free throws. To make matters even better, I hope Wade gets Union pregnant and then he has to deal with all her pregnancy mood swings and what not during the playoffs. Come on Dwyane, knock her up, I know you can do it. I wish Wade and Union luck in their marriage and misery for the rest of the season.

Ariana Grande and Nathan Sykes have split up.

Ariana Grande doesn't have much luck with boy band members. First she reportedly cheated on some guy in an Australian boy band with Sykes and now she's split with this guy who is in a boy band. Grande said in an interview that they have the same manager and everything so, unlike most couples in entertainment, they were able to get on the same schedule and actually spend time with each other. But, according to reports, Grande and Sykes split because the two never saw each other. Makes sense.

Look, Grande needs to stop messing around with these boy band members and just go out with my good friend Deshaun Sheppard, who she will eventually end up with. Deshaun and Ariana are like me and Taylor Swift. It's just inevitable and until it happens, these poor girls are going to keep getting their hearts broken. And sure, them getting their hearts broken makes for some great music, but is great music better than great memories? I didn't think so.

I Knew You Were Trouble
(News stories involving celebrities in trouble)

Phil Robertson was suspended from Duck Dynasty by A&E after making anti-gay remarks during a magazine interview. The Duck Dynasty cast have backed Phil and the show could come to an end.

I didn't know who Phil Robertson was prior to him making these comments as I don't watch Duck Dynasty. But I know someone who does. His name is Dustin James. He used to write weekly MMA columns for this site and he's one of my best friends on twitter. So I'll let him take it away:

Dustin James: Oh boy. There's just no good way to tackle this whole debacle surrounding Duck Dynasty hierarchy Phil Robertson and the mess that spilled out of his mouth following an interview with GQ. We have some people claiming that his right to free speech was violated once A&E took action against him and suspended him from the show indefinitely. Those people are wrong (free speech protects you from the government, not your employer). A&E is a private company and since Phil is an employee who is supposed to represent them at all times, they have the right to terminate him if they feel he brings any kind of negative publicity their way. If I'm a construction worker and I show up to work in a t-shirt that say's "I hate every race except for white people", the company that I work for has a right to terminate me. When Phil made his comments to GQ, he was representing "Duck Dynasty" and the "A&E Network" and therefore A&E was 100% correct in taking the action that they did.†

On the other side of the spectrum, you have the people who say Phil should have been protected because of his religious beliefs and the fact that he was quoting the bible. Those people are also correct. To anyone who is a fan of the show, Phil's comments came as no surprise. Phil Robertson is the pure definition of "backwoods hillbilly". He's a former college quarterback who could've played in the NFL, but gave up the chance to make big time money in football because the sport interfered with duck season. Phil used to be an alcoholic, violent, gambling, womanizer who was "a bad man who did bad things" until one day God came to visit him and his beliefs totally changed. Since that day, he's been extremely religious and lives and dies by the bible. Anyone who watches the show knows what kind of person Phil is and they weren't shocked AT ALL by Phil's controversial words to GQ magazine. Phil is a guy who spends the majority of his time in the woods and tries to stay as far away from "society" as possible. In other words, he's the LAST guy you would look to if you were looking to get any form of a political correct answer. For the record, I personally have strong feelings about organized religion (I'm about the least religious guy you can meet), and yet I have no problem with Phil's opinion because it's his beliefs and it's not my prerogative to tell him if's right or wrong.†

The bottom line is, America is much too sensitive these days and it seems that if someone doesn't share the same opinion as the general public, we want to attack that person. One of the reasons America is the greatest country in the world is because of it's diversity and the fact that we are supposed to live how we want to live and feel how we want to feel. Phil Robertson's opinions were formulated by the bible and no matter how you feel about them, he was totally in his right to say what he said. If anyone is to blame, it's the people who made the decision to stick a hot mic in Phil's face knowing his controversial opinions would lead to some publicity, negative or not. If you stick a mic in the face of your racist grandpa for a school project and he goes off on a tirade that gets you in trouble, YOU are to blame because it was YOUR decision to ask him his opinion knowing full well how he felt about those particular subjects.†

In the end, there is really no one who is right or wrong in this whole mess. Phil was right in speaking his opinion, but since he was supposed to be representing the A&E network, they were right in suspending him from the show indefinitely (don't get me started on how a network that glorifies people's drug problems and obsessive-compulsive disorders all of a sudden grows a heart). The only people who are going to suffer in this whole mess are A&E. Phil Robertson and family have a TON of supporters who have come out and supported him for standing his ground and not being afraid to speak about his beliefs, regardless of how controversial they are. If the A&E network doesn't remove the suspension (I think they will once the flame dies down a little....), the Robertson family will move their ridiculously†popular show to another network and A&E will lose their #1 money maker. Anyway you look at it, Phil and his family are going to continue on with their lives and their beliefs and America is going to keep tuning in. Why? Because controversy creates cash and if this whole debacle did anything, it made the name "Duck Dynasty" that much more popular. No publicity is bad publicity

The Lucky One
(AJ Grey's Pic of the Week)

Here is Emily Sears. I've never heard of her until now but this is one Sears I'd like to do my Christmas shopping at.

Our Song
(Music Pick of the Week)

Currently my favorite song performed by my favorite female artist.

XOXO, Gossip Guide


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