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 411mania » Music » Columns

411 Music Fact or Fiction 07.25.14: Ninja, Ninja, Rap
Posted by Joseph Lee on 07.25.2014

Welcome to another edition of Fact or Fiction: Music. I'm your host, Josehph Lee.

This week we have Sean Walker against John Downey.

1) Wiz Khalifa's new song for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is terrible.

John Downey: FACT. To be fair, it sounds as though some honest-to-God effort was put into making most of this, which makes it better than so many of its peers. That said, it's a Wiz Khalifa song on the TMNT soundtrack, I could have given my verdict without even hearing it.

Sean Walker: FICTION. I think terrible is a little harsh. It's definitely not a song that will go platinum (I think), but it's in essence everything that a TMNT song should feature; Except for Juicy J, he can go eat some rocks. It's cheesy, gimmicky, corny, stupid, etc. However it works in this particular instance because TMNT has had a history of over the top theme songs (Vanilla Ice anyone?).

Score: 0 for 1

2) You would watch the Slash/Val Kilmer Breaking Bad sequel if it were real.

John Downey: FICTION. What? No, no, a million times no. I looked up the Kickstarter page to make sure I wasn't being fucked with and I'm still not sure this isn't some part of a needlessly complicated prank. It's bad fan fiction that someone actually wanted money for, and even if the project was able to get off the ground, the end product would probably be unwatchable.

Sean Walker: FICTION. I think I'm only person who just didn't care for Breaking Bad. The first couple of episodes bored me to tears, and I never bothered to continue beyond that. However, knowing that the series was in fact wrapped up a year ago I will input that this sounds like an obvious cash grab. When things like movies, TV Shows, or books are really successful, they tend to get unnecessary sequels/prequels that add nothing to the original source. I think that's what this is.

Score: 1 for 2

3) Musicians like Selena Gomez and Rihanna shouldn't be criticized for their "Free Palestine" tweets.

John Downey: FICTION. Let's set aside the actual statement because discussing conflicts in the Middle East is just too big and complicated to be covered in a short entertainment column and focus on the rights of the individual, which is infinitely easier way to go about this topic. Gomez and Rihanna have the right to tweet "Free Palestine", and if someone thinks these are insensitive, ignorant, or just flat-out wrong things to say, they have the right to criticize them for it, and each woman has the right to address these criticisms. Yep, I'm claiming "free speech" and hightailing it out of this one, folks.

Sean Walker: FACT. I know that Rihanna and Selena are mega international stars who have sold millions of records, but we have to remember that at the end of the day they are human. Humans always have an opinion on something and tend to express that opinion. In this case Twitter was the platform for that opinion. If I were to post something like that, no one would bat an eye. Now of course there are more eyes on them because they are celebrities and they have millions of followers but they should still be able to say what they feel is right without having to be "PC" about it.

Score: 1 for 3


4) Marilyn Manson's role in Sons of Anarchy just feels like stunt casting.

Sean Walker: FACT. First off, what year is it again. Does anyone actually care about what Manson is doing these days? If this was their attempt at stunt casting, then they failed. I care about SOA just as much as I did before he was given a role. And I don't care at all about SOA.

John Downey: FACT. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. If a well-established show calls for a one-dimensional creepy dude with a weird voice, why not put Marilyn Manson in? Well, okay, there are plenty of reasons, but it's not like this is going to hurt the show's image.

Score: 2 for 4

5) You don't care about a Lady Gaga tell-all book by her former assistant.

Sean Walker: FACT. Man this story has just been bizarre. You would think someone would quit after allegedly being forced to sleep in the bed with your boss. Now make no mistake, Lady Gaga was probably dropped on her head a lot as a child. With that being said, there is literally nothing this woman could write about that would shock me in the slightest. At face value Lady Gaga has done so much crazy stupid shit like that meat dress, or being hatched from an egg, multiple portrayals of suicide on stage, the man powered horse, and having a girl vomit green shit on her while bull riding at maximum speed. Let's not also forget the fact that Lady Gaga is typically up front and honest with her fans compared to most celebrities. To sum it up nicely, there is nothing this lady could do to tarnish Lady Gaga's already eccentric image.

John Downey: FACT. Tell-all books sell on the strength of deconstructing the image of the subject as a star, which has kind of been Lady Gaga's shtick from the start. That's like writing a tell-all book about Michael Jordan and revealing that (gasp!) he's really good at basketball.

Score: 3 for 5

6) You enjoyed Weezer's "Back to the Shack".

Sean Walker: FICTION. Meh. Weezer has never really done much for me. They tend to be pretty boring in my opinion. That wasn't the problem here though. Let's start with first. It's a nice summer sounding song, and I'm a sucker for those. You could definitely play this in your car for a listen or two and enjoy it for what it is. What I don't like about it is that everything just sounds too clunky and disjointed. Rivers' voice sounds too bland and complacent for the up-tempo vibe they're trying to go for. The guitars sounded sloppy, especially towards the end with the solo. It was a swing and a miss overall.

John Downey: FICTION. This hurts. The unstated promise with bringing in Ric Ocasek as producer was the return of songs on par with the first self-titled, but while this sounds like it could be sequenced in the blue album with little issue, it would have easily been the worst song on the album. There's just not enough meat on these bones, and the lyrics that stood out the most were the bland mission statements. Here's hoping this is the worst song off of Weezer's next album.

Score: 4 for 6

Thoughts? Comments? Animal? Vegetable? Mineral? Reply in the comments below to give your own take on this week's topics!


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