LOOP DIGGIN' THURSDAYS, News & Rants 12.29.05
Posted by Phil Watts, Jr on 12.29.2005
2005's Disappointments, Things I want to see next year, and finally, IN MEMORY OF...
Loop Diggin' Thursdays, 12.29.05.
The last couple of weeks, I covered all the things that I liked this year. A lot of artists have put in some serious work this year and as a result, I've been scrounging for money every month just to get as many albums as I could. But there are times when I get my hopes up when an artist I usually depend on releases an album...only for the shit to be straight asscheeks.
Now there have been plenty of albums that I knew would suck from jump, like BEP's credibility continuing to fall off (with Fergie pissing on stage and all) and Curtis Jackson getting desperate as hell, starting fake-ass beef so his records will sell (three guesses where I got that line from). And with Puffy n charge, you just know that the Bigge (so-called) DUETS album is going to be wack. However, THIS list focuses on albums I looked forward to, yet, turned out to be a colossal waste of $12-$18.
DISAPPOINTMENTS OF 2005
Defari & DJ Babu (a.k.a. The Likwit Junkies): THE LJ'S
Defari REALLY started on the right foot by whining about how "cornballs" like Atmosphere & Ugly Duckling stole his audience away, and how the West Coast ain't what it used to be. Boo-hoo. This year, he hooked up with DJ Babu, one of the two people who have spent the past 5 years carrying Evidence & Rakaa on his back (the other being The Alchemist). I was hoping for a decent album from these guys. All I wound up with is an album so forgettable, I can't remember a single song from it.
John Cena: YOU CAN'T SEE ME
In case you were wondering...YES I WAS ACTUALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS ALBUM!! First off, I actually liked his rap gimmick and it actually added a lot to WWE‘s stale programming (however, in my opinion, the gimmick ONLY works as a heel). Then, to my surprise, he showed up on the remix of Murs & 9th's "H.U.S.T.L.E.", and didn't do too bad. Plus, he was getting help from Trademarc, who hooked up De La Soul with "Rock Co. Kane Flow". That and you can't go wrong with Freddie Foxxx. Then the moment I heard "My Time Is Now" (which I think is dope as fuck!), I snatched up the album at first opportunity...and I wish I hadn't. John Cena makes every rookie mistake on this coaster, making the album too long and spreading himself too thin (which, considering that he's a newbe, is a recipe for disaster). The fact that Trademarc was giving him throwaways and trying to rhyme himself doesn't help. Unsurprisingly, the only redeeming moments involve Freddie Foxxx outshining him on his own album.
Medaphor: PUSH COME TO SHOVE
This album proves once and for all that Med is much better off as a guest rapper. Having a whole album with just Med's robotic flow is a bit much for some people. However, I have no problem with his flow. My problem with this album is that he just can't carry an entire album by himself and seems lost. Check his compilation of guest spots called BANG YA HEAD and compare it to this, and see the difference for yourself.
Guru: VERSION 7: THE STREET SCRIPTURES
This had "trainwreck" written all over it. Guru got impatient with DJ Premier and decided to go for self once again. If DJ Premier or a large line-up of Jazz greats aren't there, the chances of him having a decent album are slim. Guru not only tries to make his own beats (with disastrous results), he also tried to get a local yokel named Solar (not to be confused with the French MC he worked with on Jazzmatazz 1) to make beats for him (with even worse results). To make matters worse (as if it couldn't get any worse) he patterned his album cover after the MATRIX movies, oblivious to how stupid he looked (thankfully, the cover was changed.) To add the cherry on top, he tried to promote this album by starting some processed beef with Young Guru for "stealing his name", oblivious to how stupid he looked beefing with a SOUNDBOARD ENGINEER! Hopefully, Guru has learned his lesson from the failure of this album, because I'd hate for his illustrious career to end like this.
Ladybug Mecca: TRIP THE LIGHT FANTASTIC
Speaking of really bad covers, Ladybug of the Digable Planets decides to make her comeback with her first attempt at a solo album. Unfortunately, the cover (which has Ladybug in a stupid-looking ladybug costume) is enough to repel anyone away from this album. Those who decided to check it out anyway were treated to ELECTRIC CIRCUS PART 2, as the album is rife with really bad attempts at experimentation, head-lulling coffeeshop music, and Ladybug doing more singing than rapping. Between this, Dooblebug's insomnia-curing CHERRYWINE project and Ish giving us those annoying Camp Lo niggas ("SIPPIN' AH-MA-RE-DUHHH!"), it looks like a decent follow-up to BLOWOUT COMB is pretty much DEAD!
Fat Joe: ALL OR NOTHING
Thank God that Fat Joe is still rolling with the Diggin' In The Crates crew. Otherwise, I'd have dismissed him years ago. Trying everything to duplicate the success of "Lean Back" with the same result: Lots of airplay...yet shitty sales. (That could be said about a lot of artists getting massive play this year...Cassidy, anyone?) If Fat Joe keeps trying to go commercial only to get the sales figures he's been getting with DITC at his back, he might as well just stick with DITC.
Casual: SMASH ROCKWELL
Looks like we'll have to wait a little longer for a decent follow-up to FEAR ITSELF. Casual makes every mistake that ruined his last album, HE THINK HE RAW, with sucky attempts at Oakland-style playa shit. J-Zone does come by to save him on "Say that Then", but it's not enough to make up for the rest of this album.
Skillz: CONFESSIONS OF A GHOSTWRITER
Another fly MC who can't come close to his debut. Now, while I could understand his need to get his beats from Producers from Virginia (Pharrell & Timbo are all VA natives just like Skillz), it's obvious that they gave him throwaways. Plus, Skillz vocals just don't go well with their beats, and it all seems like a weak attempt at airplay.
Oh...another thing...TO ALL YOU ASPIRING RAPPERS OUT THERE: If you are thinking of a career as a Ghostwriter, especially a ghostwriter for more popular MC's, a word of advice--DON'T.
J-Live: THE HEAR AFTER
Years ago, this man was the FUTURE. He's a dope MC, a damn good writer, and a DJ (not to mention he could MC & DJ to boot!) Problem is, he should NEVER think of adding ‘PRODUCER' to his repertoire, as his attempts at making beats have resulted in some dull-ass shit. Yeah, he's still got it as an MC, but as we all know, horrible beats can ruin anyone's chances. Come on, J. There are millions of up and coming producers that would've hooked you up.
Kool Keith: THE LOST MASTERS, Vol. 2
These masters should've stayed lost. Kool Keith, whose name will always be synonymous to "cutting edge, off kilter Hip-Hop", has pretty much lost it. He hasn't made a remotely inspired effort since DR. DOOOM. Despite what the guestlist of producers would imply (Erick Sermon, Lil' Jon, The Neptunes, Just Blaze, Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis, etc.), not only do all the beats sound the same, they all sound just as horrible as the albums he's made since MATTHEW. Kutmaster Kurt, Dan the Automator, Ced G, TR & Moe...PLEASE SAVE THIS MAN!!!
RAWKUS--BEST OF DECADE I: 1995-2005
Geffen Records is sitting on a goldmine. All the cutting edge, quality material that came out of Rawkus Records forced Hip-Hop music as a whole to step its collective game up. When I heard that an album was being released to spotlight all this material, I was ecstatic. Unfortunately, they dropped the ball...BIG TIME! Of the albums 15 cuts, Mos Def & Kweli are featured on 11 of them. Now don't get me wrong...Mos & Kweli were major contributors to what made Rawkus great---But they weren't the only ones. Even of the Mos/Kweli tracks, the selection is suspect. "Get By", while still a great song (and another reason why Kanye needs to shut the fuck up and stick to producing), was released AFTER Rawkus ceased operations. Same with Mos Def‘s "Beef". "Manifesto", "2000 Seasons", and "Fortified Live" (all of which are absent) would've been better replacements. Another head-scratcher is why Pharoahe's "Oh No", from Rawkus' official JUMP-THE-SHARK moment, LYRICIST LOUNGE 2, was included, yet "Simon Says", "The Light", and "Behind Closed Doors" wasn't. Or why, of all the songs from Big L's posthumous BIG PICTURE album, they chose "Flamboyant". I was talking to Mathan about this album one day, and he told me this album was probably put out just to get money. I HAD to tell him, If they REALLY wanted some loot, they would've included "Any Man" (from SOUNDBOMBIN' 2) and Shabaam Sahdeeq's "5-Star Generals", both which featured a pre-Shady/Aftermath EMINEM!!!
Speaking of melanin-deficient rappers, that leads to the most glaring omission of them all:
How in the fuck are you going to have a Rawkus Best-of album without ONE SINGLE SONG from the one group that took that obscure techno label and turned it into the much-celebrated underground juggernaut it became famous for?
That's right...NOT ONE SINGLE COMPANY FLOW SONG ON THE ENTIRE ALBUM!!!! A mistake that makes this so-called RAWKUS BEST-OF album COMPLETELY WORTHLESS...making it THE BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE YEAR!
(Yeah...I know that El-P bought the masters of his Rawkus material. But it still stands that you don't make a best-of Rawkus or a best-of any era compilation without including the artists that paved the way!)
***
THE 2006 WISHLIST
This is my list of things I WANT TO SEE HAPPEN in 2006. These are NOT predictions (although I wish they were!)
...Mos Def & Talib Kweli, realizing that they'd make a much bigger impact together than apart, sets sail on the Black Star Line once again. Not only do they work with some of the same producers that made their last album a hit (Hi-Tek, J. Rawls, etc.), they also get some help from Illmind, and Kanye West.
...Madlib makes another ambitious jazz-based project. Only this time, he gets a little help from jazz legend, HERBIE HANCOCK. The project would feature Herbie's best work since the 70's.
...The Roots' next album will be their hardest shit in years. Not only does Malik B reunite with the crew, the band abandons the more jazzy elements for more funky, Marley Marl style shit. After that Big Daddy Kane dedication joint they did on VH-1, they definitely had enough practice.
...Nas kicks off his campaign to promote his upcoming Premier-produced album (which will go 4x platinum!) by getting on an ill Premier track and Ethering Prodigy, bringing up all the times P was made to look stupid in the beefs he got involved in.
...Somehow, someway, R&B as a whole veers away from the hordes of bitch-made little boys who think that "Michael Jackson" is a music genre (Chris Brown, Ray J., Omarion, Ursher, etc.), which becomes just as played out as BOY BANDS.
...All R&B singers who claim to be 'soulful' will realize that cramming lots Fender Rhodes and Donny Hathaway impersonations into a song does NOT equal 'SOUL'. (No disrespect to people using the Fender Rhodes and love Donny Hathaway, but COME ON, PEOPLE! STEP YOUR GAME UP!)
...Rock & Roll will veer away from the whiney, self-depreciating bitch shit that it's been stuck in ever since Pearl Jam had a video, and go back to the more loud, rambunctious, rebellious music it once was.
...Younger Hip-Hop fans will start being more accepting of Hip-Hop's pioneers.
...R. Kelly gets the book thrown at him, with even more tapes that show that he's a child-fucking piece of shit. All of his fans turn their backs on him, all his CD's get thrown in a pile to get streamrolled over, and everyone who has ever put his name in the same sentence is "Marvin Gaye" gets fired from their jobs.
...Kanye West realizes that the Grammy's have long since lost any shred of credibility and aren't worth crying over. He then gets involved in so many upcoming projects that he doesn't have time to get in the vocal booth. The projects include Jay-Z's comeback album, and a returning Queen Latifah (who decides to dust off her crown, quit this singing shit, and go back to Hip-Hop, where she belongs.)
...50 Cent, watching his fanbase dwindle to disastrous proportions, tries to go back to his roots by putting out his hardest record in years. Problem is, he's been doing tepid girly-girl records for so long, he forgot how to. With his career still hanging on a thread, 50 tries to make guest appearances to keep his name out. Problem is, he's burned so many bridges with his constant processed beef bullshit, no one would work with him. Gets dropped by Interscope for being "a liability that doesn't sell" and loses everything, including Tyson's Mansion.
...D'Angelo, Whitney Houston, and Michael Jackson all take lengthy stays in rehad to clean themselves up for about a year. During this period, D'Angelo swears off drugs and liquor for the rest of his life, Michael ends the kiddie sleepovers and sells Neverland Ranch for good, and Whitney Houston does what she should've done 15 years ago and DUMPS BOBBY BROWN. Years later, all three return to the music world with the biggest comeback albums of their careers, and are welcomed back with open arms.
...The writers and editors that made up the original Source Mindsquad (as well as many of the writers and editors that have been done dirty by the Source) have gotten together with a major financial backer to by out and take over the Source. Both Dave Mayes and Ray Benzino get arrested for racketeering and other criminal charges. Benzino, still trying to prove to the world how much of a true thug he is, tries to fight the police...only top get his muthafuckin' ass beat and his brains blown out. Mayes is in the back screaming like a bitch so the Poo-Poo plug him, too. No one misses either one of them.
...After years of diving head-first into bad record labels and paying the price for it, both Ras Kass and the LOX buy up the masters to all their old albums and starts their own label together and distribution company.
...Words like HATER, PLAYA-HATER, and DICKRIDER will be stricken from the Hip-Hop vocabulary.
...oh, yeah...and NO MORE BUTTON-UPS!!
***
It seems like ever since the death of Johnny Cash, the Grimm Reaper has really been playing favorites and going after all our heroes. So before I leave for the year, it's time for us to pay respects to all the people that ain't here.
SHIRLEY CHISHOLM (80)...the first Black congresswoman.
JOHNNY CARSON (79)...the late-night talk show host to whom ALL late-night talk show hosts are judged.
OSSIE DAVIS (87)...actor & activist, famous for his roles in Spike Lee's DO THE RIGHT THING and GET ON THE BUS.
TYRONE DAVIS (66)...blues singer, famous for his hit "Turn Back the Hands Of Time".
EDWARD ROY PATTEN (66)...1/3 of Gladys Knights back-up singers, THE PIPS.
JOHNNY COCHRAN (67)...after the O.J. trail, EVERYONE wanted this man is their lawyer.
LYNN COLLINS (56)...Known as the Female Preacher, was a protégé of The Godfather James Brown. Famous for her hits, "Think (About It)".
RENEE DIGGS-PHILLIPS (50)...female lead vocalist for the 80's R&B group, STARPOINT, famous for their hit, "Object Of My Desire".
RON WINANS (48)...1/4 of the gospel quartet, THE WINANS, who was instrumental in bringing Jesus to R&B radio with "It's Time", and "Friend".
RENALDO ‘OBIE' BENSON (69)...lead singer of THE FOUR TOPS, one of the greatest Motown groups of all time.
LUTHER RONZONI VANDROSS (54)...in the 80's, THIS man was the REAL King Of R&B.
RAYMOND ‘STINGRAY' DAVIS (65)...the deep-voiced singer who worked with everyone from George Clinton's PARLIAMENT to Roger Troutman's ZAPP. He would later cover for the departed Melvin Franklin of the TEMPTATIONS.
JAMES DOOHAN (85)...known best as Scotty of The ORIGINAL Star Trek crew.
EUGENE RECORD (64)...lead singer, songwriter, and arranger for THE CHI-LITES.
BOB DENVER (70)...also known as the bumbling Gilligan of GILLIGAN'S ISLAND.
NIPSEY RUSSELL (80)...Black comedian, known as the Tin Man in THE WIZ, as well as a few other movies.
EDDIE GUERRERO (38)...a.k.a. LATINO HEAT, WWE World Champ. Damn...Smackdown sucks without him.
C. DELORES TUCKER (78)...civil rights activist, and anti-Thug Rap activist. Her feuds with 2Pac were funny for all the wrong reasons.
ROSA PARKS (92)...the woman who kickstarted the civil rights movement by not leaving that bus seat.
DAVID TOWNSEND (50)...lead singer of the R&B group SURFACE, famous for "Only You Can Make Me Happy".
PAT MORITA (73)...known forever as Mr. Miyagi, the man who kept Ralph Macchio from getting his ass beat in the KARATE KID flicks.
RICHARD PRYOR (65)...the blueprint to the modern day Black Comedian, and one of the first to make it okay for niggas to start calling themselves niggas...cuz THAT NIGGA'S CRAZY!
