Saturated In Sound 01.09.06
Posted by Jared McGuckin on 01.09.2006
"The Rock Remix Fiasco" Part 1!
Hello my friends and welcome back to Saturated In Sound. New and improved for the New Year…ok, I'm lying. I got nothing new for you guys and I'm fairly certain I haven't improved. After being sick as a dog, long hospital visits, insurance claims, the holidays and record setting levels of laziness, I'm back on the horse (not heroin although that would explain the laziness…and the track marks. I kid, I kid) and ready to bring the nonsensical drivel you've all been craving. Well, I guess there's no reason to prolong the agony, let's get started.
People Actually Read My Column, I Swear…Look at All the Mail
I didn't get any mail this week, or last week for that matter. I tried to perform a service for the music loving public two weeks ago and what do I get for my troubles? Not a damn thing…not even an email with poor spelling and no punctuation. I was MIA last week and to be completely honest, I don't think anyone really noticed. And to tell you the truth, I'm a little on the disappointed side. I imagine it's the same feeling most of you get when you finish reading my column every week. *Rimshot* There's nothing better then some self deprecating humor to start off the week and the New Year.
With the lack of mail this week and the shiny new site design, I guess it's up to me to really fill this week's column out with some substance. So be sure to throw me an email so I don't have to work so damn hard.
The Rock Remix Fiasco
I thought long and hard about what I was going to write about this week. I mulled over a laundry list of column ideas that I have written down in my little black spiral notebook. Because I care, I even watched MTV (I watched MTV for you people, if that's not a sign of love damnit then I don't know what is) to feed me inspiration for a column brimming with hate speech against the Man and his lack of respect for music and the music loving/consuming public. I was looking for something that really irked me or something I thought might be able to arouse an emotion to write an insightful column about. In short, I was looking for something to complain and get angry over. Those who know me, know that it doesn't take much for me to go off on a tirade, but for some reason I found it incredibly hard to find something I really wanted to write about this week.
But alas I prevailed and found something that annoys and the living fuck out of me, hard rock/heavy metal music remixes. Do have to explain the sheer ridiculousness of this idea? A remix of a hard rock song? A REMIX!?! Is this some kind of a joke? I listen to heavy metal for a reason! If I wanted to listen to remixes, I'D BUY A FUCKIN DANCE CD! Ok…I need to relax and gather my thoughts to make clear and coherent sentences without the consistent use of exclamation points.
Ok, I'm in my Zen place now. Let's continue. I first noticed this problem, or complete abomination if you will, with the release of Super Sexy Swinging Sounds by White Zombie. For those of you lucky enough who aren't familiar with this CD, it's a remix album of their hit record Astro Creep 2000… which was released a year earlier. A CD with 10 remixes of songs from their previous CD and a hard rock remix of K.C. and the Sunshine Band'sI'm Your Boogie Man (Sex On The Rocks Mix). I don't think I have to tell you, it sounds like shit. Techno versions of White Zombie songs are not a pleasing to the ear. In fact, one may even go as far as to say all copies of this abortion of an album should be, throw onto the ocean floor and never mentioned again.
Rob Zombie went on to pull the same remix bullshit album when he went solo with American Made Music To Strip By.
There are few other hard rock/heavy metal bands that have released a full album full of remixes, and that in itself is aggravating. But what's really pissing me off is the inclusion of remix tracks on regular albums or this "bonus disc of remix" bullshit that so damn popular now. I ask you, why in the bluest of blue hells would I want a remix of a fucking heavy metal song?! If I want to dance I'll go to a club, (Even though that never happens. I would rather slit my own throat then go to one of those places) if I want to listen to that bullshit techno crap that makes you sterile, I'll listen to techno, or jungle or whatever the hell its called. If I buy a Soulfly CD I most certainly don't want a bonus disc of remixes. We're talking Soulfly here, fronted by one the greatest heavy metal frontmen in history, "Mad" Max Cavalera.
Remixes are for hip hop/rap (Please someone let me know the difference, they sound the same to me) and dance music, not for rock music. This latest rape of the heavy metal music is slowly getting out of control. To me, the remix is a merely a sign of a lack of creativity and a desire to make more money. I got news for you guys, remixes are not that complicated. Change up the tempo, add some Pro tools sounds, throw in a new drum beat, and cut up the vocals, and you got yourself a remix.
I can already hear the cries of "Anybody can do it, but it takes talent to do it well." And to you I say, blow me. It doesn't take talent, it takes time and it takes patience. Musical talent is having the creativity to create something out of nothing. Look at it this way, if you have a house and you knock down a few walls to make some rooms bigger and others smaller, would you say you built the house? No you wouldn't, actually I bet a few of you would, but most of you wouldn't. It's the architect that designed the house, it's contractors you hire to make it look like you want it to. It's the same thing with remixes. You take the song, use some of the lyrics, use the riffs, and you modify whatever you want to make it sound like the way you want it to.
So where do place the blame?
I blame the artists.
Why?
Well, you'll just have come back next week for part II! But until then…more time wasters and space fillers.
Take Me Off The Shelf
This week Iggy Pop's Raw Power needs to be taken off the shelf. No remixes here just straight up rock. If the extend of your knowledge of Iggy Pop begins and ends with Lust for Life made famous from the Trainspotting Soundtrack you truly are missing out. Raw Power is a great jumping on point if you're looking to get into Iggy. Even if you couldn't less about Iggy Pop, it's still a kick ass album. And he's got a great name, Iggy Pop.
If I'm pimping these guys, does that mean they're my ho's?
All of us kick tremendous amounts of ass every damn day of the week.
Promotional Consideration Paid For By The Following
Pepsi - I am a Pepsi guy. Coke has too much carbonation, there's too much froth on the top of the bottle, they have dumb ass polar bears shilling soda during Christmas, and they have too many collectables that people really collect. Oh yeah, Pepsi tastes better too.
Herr's Salt and Pepper Potato Chips - Hands down the best chips in the world.
Any Last Words?
I know this week was a bit short but be sure to check back next week where I get into the thick of the "Rock Remix Fiasco" with the second part of this column. Next week, it will a lot longer and it will be brutal I can assure you.
I haven't gotten any feedback in a few weeks, throw me an email and let me know what you think. I get lonely when I don't get emails calling me an asshole. And I mean it about next week; it's going to be a bloodbath here at Saturated In Sound. No one will walk away unscathed. That's right; all three of you better come back next week for the conclusion of the "Rock Remix Fiasco".
