Wake Up, Time to Rock 01.13.06
Posted by Tollah on 01.13.2006
One of those Best of '05 and What to Look Forward to in '06 type deals. Includes an interview with Kanye West!
Hey T-Fanz. Sorry about the long delay between columns - I have had some technical difficulties due to the sexy new website design. But now I'm back.. and no-one can stop me..
..from reporting Avril News.
Avril News
According to a Michael Jackson fansite, Michael has enlisted a star-studded cast of international singing sensations to help him record a version of ABBA's "I Have A Dream" to aid the Hurricane Katrina relief effort. Representing Canada on this "dream team" of singers is supposedly Avril Lavigne.
Credit: Avrilbandaids.com
Sounds like bullshit to me.
Bono's Ego
U2 singer Bono has revealed that he thought he was going to be thrown out of the band over his campaigning against global poverty, reports Nme.com.
Speaking to BBC Radio 4's Today programme, he explained that his campaigning activities had "raised eyebrows" amongst fellow band mates The Edge, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen Jr. "There was one point when I thought 'I'm going to be thrown out of the band for this stuff'," Bono said.
However, he said that the rest of U2 were "hugely supportive spiritually and financially of the work I do, but they are in a rock 'n' roll band and the first job of a rock 'n' roll band is not to be dull."
He added: "So we have to be very careful about just letting me go too far. People just openly jeered and I felt like I was a weight around my band's neck for doing this kind of work."
Bono was heavily involved in the summer's Live 8 concerts as well as the Make Poverty History campaign, and makes speeches about global poverty during U2 gigs.
According to BBC News, the singer said that he was worried that his stance would "wear out the audience" but that he did not think this had happened. "People are smart out there. They know what you are doing, they know the compromises you are making, they get it," he explained. "Our audience feels like they have a stronger voice through me, and the band can see that."
Credit: ultimate-guitar.com
I like how he assumes that all of U2's fans are bothered about this poverty crap too.
Guns N' Roses News
More rumors are circulating about a possible Guns N' Roses album, according to www.audioagression.com.
Ex-GNR guitarist Slash spoke to WMMR in Philadelphia on Friday, where he said that he can't wait to hear Axl's new record in March. When asked if he meant the long awaited "Chinese Democracy" would be out in March he said he's been told many things over time, but this time it really sounds like it's coming out. The album has been in the works for over seven years and has reportedly cost $13 million to make, so far.
Rumored track list is as follows:
01. "Chinese Democracy"
02. "This I Love"
03. "I.R.S."
04. "Thyme"
05. "Substitute"
06. "The General"
07. "Seven"
08. "Madagascar"
09. "Ides Of March"
10. "Catcher In The Rye"
11. "Leave Me Alone"
12. "The Blues"
13. "Closing In On You"
14. "There Was A Time"
If the new disc isn't out in March, Geffen Records may release a Volume 2 Greatest Hits album.
Credit: ultimate-guitar.com
Slash is always right.
A tracklist. Interesting. Looks like a frigging Smashing Pumpkins album or something. "Catcher In The Rye"? "Ides Of March"?! Niggaplz.
That being said, it is not a mere mortal's place to question the great Axl Rose. I expect this to be at least the 3rd best album ever (after Appetite for Destruction and Use Your Illusion 1 & 2). Anything less will be a huge disappointment.
The Tollah Toplist(s): Super 2005 Version
Here's the T-Bomber's favourite and least favourite things of 2005. Enjoy!
Audioslave have had a great year, bringing out one great album, touring like beasts, releasing a live DVD, playing Live 8 and apparently they have already started working on their next album.
Worst 5 Bands
5. Green Day
4. The Used
3. My Chemical Romance
2. U2
1. Destiny's Child
Sure, they're a pop band so they're not expected to be great, but MY GOD do their 3 singles from their last album suck or what? They are three of the worst songs I've ever heard. I mean, sometimes pop songs aren't too bad, but these three are totally awful.
Top 5 Songs
5. Wolfmother - Colossal
4. Judas Priest - Judas Rising
3. Bon Jovi - Have A Nice Day
2. Foo Fighters - In Your Honor
1. Judas Priest - Lochness
A 13 minute song about the Loch Ness monster. How can it not be amazing?
Worst 5 Songs
5. That slow Coldplay song that recently came out
4. Green Day - Jesus of Suburbia
3. White Stripes - The Nurse
2. U2 - Vertigo
1. Oasis - Guess God Thinks I'm Abel
Liam Gallagher should never sing the words "Let's go find a rainbow". Seriously. Didn't he write a shitload of songs for this album? Why was this piece of garbage on it?
Who would have thought that fusing Black Sabbath with the White Stripes would sound so damn infectious? Well, this guy would, obviously.
Top 5 Frontmen
5. Justin Hawkins (The Darkness)
4. Liam Gallagher (Oasis)
3. Myles Heskett (Wolfmother)
2. Rob Halford (Judas Priest)
1. Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters)
Most vocalists get worse with age. With Grohl it appears to be the other way round. The way he screams and blasts out the lyrics on CD1 of 'In Your Honor' is awesome, and live he really blasts that shit out too.
Top 5 Guitarists
5. Mike Arkefedlt (Opeth)
4. Buckethead
3. Steve Vai
2. Tom Morello (Audioslave)
1. Omar Rodriguez Lopez (The Mars Volta)
This was easily the most difficult category as this was a fantastic year for guitarists. Anyone one of these guys could have topped the list, but I gave the nod to Omar because he really took his unique style to the extreme on 'Frances the Mute'.
That's enough of that. Let's take a look at 2006.
Anticipated Albums for '06
Tool
Tool fans have been waiting restlessly for a new album from Maynard and co, and it looks like this year they'll get it. WIth a constant trend of improvement so far, look for this one to be even better than the excellent 'Lateralus'.
Muse
Muse's album is set for release in about 4 months or so I think. As with Tool, Muse's albums have gotten better and better. Let's hope for this one to be more overblown and heavier than ever.
Meat Loaf
Apparently Meat Loaf is releasing 'Bat Out of Hell: III' this year! Should be as amazing as the last two Bat Out Hell albums. Composer Jim Steinman and Meat Loaf make a great team.
Avril Lavigne
Avril's people recently announced an '06 release for the new album and Av herself has said she's about half way through recording it. Let's hope she builds on the more mature taken in 'Under My Skin'.
Velvet Revolver
Apparently the new Velv CD is going to be a "concept album". Eh. Should be better than 'Contraband' either way - if it isn't, I'll be hoping for the end of that band or at least for Weiland to be kicked out.
Black Sabbath, The Who, Queen + Paul Rodgers
Old and past it, a new CD will suck but will be a good excuse to tour. As long as they come to Perth (which they won't) then I won't complain.
Flaming Lips
I haven't heard any rumours of them making a new album but it's about time, isn't it?
The Vines
After a fun and catchy, if unoriginal, debut, the follow up 'Winning Days' was a huge disappointment. It was rushed out and made under pressure. With the band taking their time over the next album, I'm hoping for their best CD yet.
Little Birdy
Birdy brought out an excellent debut and if the band stick to the same formula, they can't really go wrong. My early prediction for underrated gem of the year.
Guns N' Roses
SLASH SAYS CHINESE DEMOCRACY IS COMING OUT IN MARCH!! When has Slash ever been wrong? Never.
The T-Reccomended Album of the Week: Lordi - Get Heavy
If you've never heard of Lordi, which you probably haven't, they're a band from Finland who I could only genrefy (new word) as "Monster Metal". They're obsessed with monsters - they sign about them, the dress like them and they act like them. Take a look at what they look like at their homepage and you'll see what I mean. I'd describe their style as a mixture of Twisted Sister, Kiss and Alice Cooper. If they sung about monsters all the time.
'Get Heavy' is there 2002 debut. After a daft intro, it kicks off with the title track which packs a punch and includes the great lines "warp into monster disco hell" and "monster squad attack!". I told you they like monsters. Other highlights include 'Devil Is A Loser' which has the amazing line "The devil is a loser and he's my bitch". Satan = gooched. "Rock The Hell Outta You" is as awesome as it's name suggests. The song that really steals the show, though, is 'Would You Love A Monsterman', which is like a Bon Jovi song.. if Jon Bon Jovi was a monster.
The T-411: 8.5/10
The T-Interview: Kanye West
As a special treat for you guys, this week the Supreme T-Maestro talks to a man who made a big name for himself in 2005, Kanye West.
Tollah: Thanks for coming, Kanye, if that is your real name. 2005 was a controversial year for you. Probably the most controversial moment of all was when you accused George Bush of not caring about black people.
Kanye West: Yo, that's damn right. He left them brothers in the middle of a flood, just left them there, no food or anything. Then he came by and set them on fire, the damn cracker. I find it funny that no whities were harmed but Bush left all the brothers to die in a pool of their own urine. That's fucked up, dogg.
T: Well I think you're exaggurating things a bit there.
KW: You sayin' all black folk exaggurate shit?
T: No.
KW: That's the kind of ignorance that I'm talking about! You honkies making comments like that and stereotyping all of us African-Americans. Y'all think we're not "sophisticated" enough or some shit?
T: I don't have anything against black people - in fact last year I was voted most racially tolerant person on the 411 Fan Forums.
KW: By a bunch of snowmen.
T: Hey now, no need to be racist.
KW: You sayin' I'm racist just because I'm black? You sayin' all black people do is talk about how white people hate us and then proceed to insult them ourselves? You sayin' we make ridiculous claims about how the government is against us?
T: I'm not saying that at all. I am surprised about your attitude. Don't you think you'll alienate a lot of your white fanbase?
KW: I couldn't give a shit about them crackers!
T: So Kanye West doesn't care about white people?
KW: Damn straight.
Tollah's Big Day Out Thoughts
So the BDO timetable is up. There's a couple of clashes that I'm disappointed about - I'm gonna have to not watching Wolfmother in favour of Sarah Blasko, and miss the Mars Volta to see the Stooges and the White Stripes.
Here's my day plan:
11:00 Arrive there and watch some band called Airbourne, who I've never heard before but I like the description on the website.
11:45 Go get some food and maybe check out some of the attractions around the place.
12:30 Grab a couple of beers and check out The Greenhornes.
1:30 Go to the toilet, apply some more sunscreen and queue for more beer.
2:00 Down a couple of beers while checking out The Subways.
2:45 Go to the toilet and then get a good position to watch Sarah Blasko.
4:00 Grab some food, apply some more sunscreen then queue for more beers.
4:30 Drink a couple of brews while watching the Magic Numbers.
5:15 Go to the toilet, grab a V, queue for more beers.
5:45 Drink a couple of brews while watching Beasts of Bourbon.
6:30 Check out Henry Rollins.
7:15 Take a piss then head to the main stage to watch the Stooges and then the White Stripes.
I'm pumped. =)
Ghetto's Special Guest Spot
Okay, so when I was drunk I told this dude 'Ghetto' from the 411 Forums he could have a guest spot in my next column. Drunken Tollah always follows through on his drunken promises! Let's see what he has to say:
Hey I'm Ghetto! Let me just jump right into the point I'm here to make- Kids 12-15 have a warped music taste. This warped music taste mainly consists of a unhealthy dose of Green Day, and then they say, "Oh my friggin' God, Green Day's songwriting skills are sooo random!! OMG a song about the war, their soooo political!!" Yeah sure Green Day was cool back in the day, but now, their horrible and poppy. They need to be listening to good music like Coheed and Cambria. Okay maybe they wouldn't really appreciate their talent, it might be too complicated for em. But you think they would at least get sick of "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" or "When September Ends", but- NO, their still obsessed with that slow crap. And just one more thing, the word "emo" is used more wrong then American radio, I mean like people say "OMG thats hella emo right there", emo is a type of music, people and a type of personality not an everyday word you use to describe a broken chair or something stupid like that. So people just remember never to leave your brain off....
Mailbag
"I drop bombs like Baghdad/
Then I get raped by my Dad/"
- I want this album!!!
Tollah,
I don't agree with you on about everything musically...except Chris Martin. Although I do have to ask, how is it that Liam Gallagher is awesome, but Scott Weiland sucks? Is it just based on music?
That's one hell of a column though. I like it alot, the Metallica chat was one of the funniest things I've ever read on 411.
- SharpshooterVA
Probably because I dig Liam's hairy ape antics. He's really quite harmless and we all know Noel wears the pants in that band. Scott Weiland, however, has the ability to drag great musicians like Slash down with his shitty vocals and his egomania, ranting about the war and crap. If this "concept album" that Velv do is about politics then I hope someone kicks the douche in the face.
Plugs
Brian Berry and Ian Wright are your weekly sources for boring indie music. Ian Wright apparently has a crush on Josh Homme. Each to his own. Be sure to check out his column as it's the last piece of writing he will ever do for 411.
I've just noticed there isn't a link to News Report archives on the 411Music homepage.
