Welcome to the conclusion of "The Rock Remix Fiasco" here at Saturated In Sound. I'm Jared McGuckin and still find myself with a nagging cough. Personally, I blame the weather here in New York City, it's been in the mid 50's this week and raining every other day. Then again, my refusal to wear appropriate outerwear (wow that sounds like a Macy's ad or something) when I leave the house could also have a little to something to do with it. Yet, my ability to place blame on anything and everything but myself, leaves me with no choice but to blame the weather. Now that you've read through a bunch of crap you couldn't care less about, let's get down to business.
People Actually Read My Column, I Swear…Look at All the Mail
411 newcomer Ben Czajkowski dropped me a line this week…
So, let's look at all the good remixes of heavy metal music. Uh, there really aren't any. The closest thing I can get to would be that bunch of remixes that A Perfect Circle put out or the alternative mix of NIN's Hand that Feeds. Even so, those aren't really heavy metal. So, truly, are there any good remixes for them? The world may never know.
Ben, I sense a little bit of optimism in your email there. Anyway, personally, I think remixes in rock music, especially hard rock or heavy metal are extremely pointless and borderline offensive. And your mention of Nine Inch Nails? Don't worry about that, I got it covered, just keep reading. Thanks for the email brother.
And that was all the mail for this week. No reader mail, hopefully that will change, if it doesn't, I'm just going to start making shit up.
The Rock Remix Fiasco, The Conclusion
Last week I merely scratched the surface of the remix problem that plagues the state of rock music today. Last week was more of an angry introduction to a subject that never fails to get me all bent out of shape, rock remixes. I also mentioned that this week's column going to going to be a bloodbath, and I plan to make good on that. No one is safe this week, let the verbal castrations and literary decapitations commence.
The idea of the rock remix is completely and utterly ridiculous, we covered that last week. This week we get to the nitty gritty (wow, I actually wrote nitty gritty). One huge problem with the Rock Remix is that they are not always optional. Let's get a list going here.
Remixes On New and Re-Releases - If I choose to ignore the rape of my favorite genre of music through remixes, I should be given the option to do so. Remixes on new releases or re-releases is absurd. If I go out and pay sixteen bucks on a rock CD it better damn well be a rock CD. By putting some lame ass remix at the end of a regular release, it forces you to listen to it and support it. It's very hard to ignore and not support something when they force you to buy it. No one in their right fucking mind buys the CD of a band they like because of the shitty remix at the end. What exactly is the purpose of this practice? Is it a bonus or a reward or something? Yeah, great, a bonus song I won't listen to. Thanks a lot. Seriously, I don't see the point in spending the time and money on a remix no one wants, a remix no one asks for and certainly no one in their right state of mind likes.
Remixes on Greatest Hits and B Side Albums - Putting remixes on these "cash in" CD's, and that's all they are and you know it, isn't nearly as bad. Often times in an effort to sell some useless CD's, artist or record companies will put a few a remix tracks on the CD, in the hopes that you, the dumb shmuck consumer, will see these supposed "new tracks" and feel the need to run out and buy it. Which brings me to another point, why the hell are remixes on a Greatest Hits CD? I was always under the impression that Greatest Hits CD's were just that, a CD full of an artist's greatest hits. I guess that's just me.
As far as B Sides CD's are concerned, I'm willing to give them a little slack here. A B-Sides collection is more or less a bunch of shitty music that the band didn't like, but wanted the money for anyway. I can see and almost understand a remix being included here. No one really makes a big deal when a CD of B Sides is released, except for Metallica when Reload came out. I don't care what anyone says, that was a Load B Side album all the way.
Remixes On Soundtracks - As far as I'm concerned, this a big part of the problem right here. The movie industry has removed itself so far away from creativity it's not even funny (Shit, I would love to have a column over in movies too), that not only is there a lack of original and innovative ideas in Hollywood, the music they choose to accompany their films is unoriginal and tainted as well. Soundtracks to movies such as Resident Evil and Saw 2 have quite a few rock remixes that populate their CD's.
Remix CD's - I'm only going to say this once. Why the fuck would hard rock band release a CD full of remixes that sound like something you hear in a place with people dancing like assholes wearing tight black shirts and have gel in their hair? Yeah that's right, I knocking down those idiots that use gel) Jesus tap dancing Christ! On Marilyn Manson'sRemix and Repent CD, there is a track titled "The Tourniquet Prosthetic (Dance Mix)". Dance Mix? You mean dance, as in move my body to the rhythm of the music? To Marilyn Manson? Are you fucking kidding me? I call bullshit on that one.
So who's to blame for all this mess? Lucky for you guys, I'm so damn smart and I know the answer. The weight of the blame rests not on the shoulders of one, but on the shoulders of many. The record companies, the artists, and you are all to blame. That's right; I'm putting the guilty finger right at you.
We all expect record companies to only be concerned with the bottom line and how they can maintain the highest possible profit margin. I don't think anyone truly believes that the executives over at the big companies have the customer's best interest in mind. It's safe to say that you, and myself included, are used to getting the shaft when it come to big business. And that is what music is all about. It's a big business; the art of music was bought and sold years ago, what is left is a weird sort of charade that we play with them. We know all they care about is money and they know it. They tell us that they are here to bring music to the masses, and we nod our heads in unison, knowing full well they are full of shit. We bitch and moan about everything record companies and the RIAA do wrong, yet we do nothing about it. No wonder they pull the shit that they do, they get away with it every time.
Record companies couldn't give less then a shit about artist integrity, or giving the customer what they want. They will give you want they want to give you, and you'll like it. It's the record companies that have the final say on what you hear. It's the record companies that want to reach as many people as possible to sell as much as possible. If that means hiring a few no talent producers and DJ's to pump out some remixes in order to increase the audience to make a few more bucks, so be it.
The recording artists are not innocent in this whole fiasco. I blame them as well. If any of these bands had any balls and had just a slither of Rock ‘N Roll chops they wouldn't let they music get violated with a remix. I like to think that once a band gets wind of a record exec looking to put out a remix they fight tooth and nail to stop it. Sadly enough, reality sets in quickly and the realization that most of them just take it like good like musicians and do what their told, without so much as whimper. I can't imagine bands like Megadeth and Coal Chamber truly wanting the world to hear their music remixed. Then again, I could be wrong.
And finally I blame all of you for this bullshit. Do you really enjoy remixes of rock music? I hope to God you don't. Do you look forward to hearing a remix of a Slipknot song? I hope fucking not. So if you don't like these lame remixes and I don't like them, why the hell do they keep getting released? Somebody is buying them, somebody is saying, "Wow, I love it when they put remixes on regular releases". Who is saying this? It sure as hell isn't me, so it must be you. Someone is buying the Remix CD's, in fact; lots of someone's are buying them. And once again, it's not me. I have a little plan how we stop all this rock remix stuff, are you ready? This is some complicated stuff, so pay very close attention.
Step one: Don't buy it.
That's it. That's all there is to it. Music is a business and if you don't like the way things are run, hit them where it hurts: kick them in the balls in front of their children.
Rock music is a funny thing, some bands have no reason even thinking about having a remix of their songs, while others make music that almost begs to be remixed. I think I just heard someone say "Do a list". Well, who am I to disappoint (depends on who you ask I suppose). A list of bands that are adding more fuel to my anger and hatred of remixes.
Metallica - For a band that is so protective over their music and its members, it comes as a shock to me that they would allow a fan favorite like For Whom the Bell Tolls to remixed by DJ Spooky on the Spawn Soundtrack. The once mighty Metallica lent a song to be remixed; aka, tampered with and raped beyond recognition, for a shitty movie. What the hell we they thinking? I remember buying that soundtrack when it first came out and I was horrified and that song. Yet another notch in the belt of disappointments Metallica has brought to the world.
Soulfly, Sepultura - For me, this one is a hard pill to swallow. I like to think that Max Cavalera has enough sense to say no to remixes, but sadly I'm wrong. On the reissue of Soulfly's debut, there are 7 remixes on the bonus CD and the reissue of Sepultura's Arise featured a remix. I know Max is into musical experimentation but does all of have to be released? Max Cavalera is metal icon, his desire for the inclusion of remixes on his CD's are extremely disheartening. For those who doubt it's Max's fault, look at the Sepultura CD's after he left, not a remix on any of them.
Alice In Chains - Ok, let me see I can wrap my head around this one. Alice In Chains releases a box set of demos, b sides, unreleased tracks, hits, and remixes. Remixes? Who the fuck thought Alice In Chains needed remixes? These guys found their niche in music by way of the Seattle Grunge Movement in the early nineties, and they we one of more talented of the bunch. There is nothing about AIC that says remix. When you're remixing grunge music, just kill yourself, because at that point, you have exhausted all the good ideas you're ever going to have.
Nine Inch Nails - Right off the bat, I have a request. Can we please just call NIN Trent Reznor now? I mean he's not fooling anyone into believing NIN albums are a collaborative effort. I don't think Reznor's trying to fool anyone, but it just seems silly to keep calling Nine Inch Nails a band. Anyway, Nine Inch Nails I mean Trent Reznor's music thrives on remixes. And that's ok, he's got that hard rock/industrial thing going on, so a lot of his music can be complimented with remixes, Christ knows that about thousand remixes of NIN songs out there. I'm not the biggest fan of Trent's music, that's another column, but I'm giving him a pardon for this one.
It would be impossible to list all the bands that have taken a shit on the very music they made, and agreed to a remix. Bands like Korn and Coal Chamber took a giant dump on their music with remixes too. On the other hand bands like Fear Factory and Static-X go the way of Nine Inch Nails and make music contusive to the remix.
All in all, the rock remix is a fucking dumb idea to say the least. Personally, I find it offensive as it insults my intelligence and makes me feel like these people are forcing me to listen to and support this school of unoriginality. If you choose to make rock music, whether it be grunge or metal or hard rock or whatever, make that kind of music. Don't show your lack of creative ideas and throw us, the fans, some piss poor excuse of a song or album. If your taking time between albums, take the time, don't release some bullshit "cash in" rarities CD loaded with remixes, just to keep your name out there so people don't forget about you. If you want to keep your name out there, make quality music that will stand the test of time, tour your asses off and give the fans the respect they give you. When a rock album gets reissued, there's no reason for a "bonus" remix. That's not going get old fans to repurchase the CD again, and it's certainly not going to increase your fan base. If you want to give something extra on a re-release, throw in some live footage or demos.
Remixes are nothing more then a middle finger aimed at you. Are you gonna sit there and take like a little bitch?
Take Me Off The Shelf
This week, the honor goes to The Jimi Hendrix Experience'sAxis: As Bold As Love. I hope I don't have to convince you to get up and listen to some Hendrix. If Jimi were alive today he would say "Fuck Rock remixes". You tell'em Jimi.
If I'm pimping these guys, does that mean they're my ho's?
Show Ben Czajkowski some love. He's got news, Grammy picks, top 5 lists, and a crazy hate toward my favorite singer Scott Weiland, but we'll let that slide…this week.
Tollah is back with pictures of girls and Avril Lavigne news. He also believes everything Slash says.
Rhett got some news and vents about Scott Sapp, Fred Durst and Amy Lee.
Dusty has a year end list, check him out…even though I think his top ten is wrong.
Any Last Words?
Well, I think I said my piece on the whole rock remix thing. Unless of course, I think of something else, then I'll be sure to let you know.
I want some damn feedback. You guys have been letting me down recently. The past few months have been good, I was getting regular mail but as of recently, I get nothing. Like I said last week, I get lonely when I don't get emails from people calling me an asshole. If you agree or disagree with what I said throw me an email. If I missed something, throw me an email. If you think I'm a douchebag throw me an email and say so.
