The Southern Fried Chronicle 02.03.06
Posted by Rhett Walker on 02.03.2006
Allow me to explain
Welcome back to The Southern Fried Chronicle, the most anger-fueled music news and opinion column delivered in the warm and fuzzy package known as 411mania. I'm Rhett Walker, the man who writes this weekly banter for my own personal therapy and your entertainment. So how's it going boys and girls? Sorry about the lack of anything new last week. Things were just a little busy in my neck of the woods. We were down one person in the office, leaving me with a little more work than usual. Life on the home front had its usual degree of hecticness. Needless to say I was time-crunched, and seeing how I can't exactly put the job, the dissertation work, or the wife on the backburner, the Chronicle had to take the week off. But now it's back and all is well. Let's get on with it.
Like the row of beer taps at your favorite bar, we've got a lot of choices on the menu
Time is short for this part this week, but it's still important.
Cris in the movies zone (great pimp last week bro)
This really is news!
It's been a slow news week, so we'll make the most out of what we have to work with.
JUDAS PRIEST guitarist Glenn Tipton told Greg Prato of Billboard.com that the band will reconvene next month to begin writing the follow-up to 2005's "Angel of Retribution", which was the band's first album with singer Rob Halford since 1990's "Painkiller".
"We've had a break — we've been out for almost two years," Tipton said. "We all decided to take January off, and then we're going to start writing the new album in February. We are doing a charity show for the Teenage Cancer Trust at [London's] Albert Hall in April, and we are talking about some summer festivals [in Europe]. But our main priority is to write the next JUDAS PRIEST album — that'll be the number one thing on our agenda."
You gotta love this. The members of Judas Priest (together or separated) have been doing this for decades now, and they are recording and touring harder than many bands with members that are half their age. Just hearing this tells me that these guys are genuinely happy to be back with Rob Halford. Unlike some bands that reunite (KISS, I'm looking at you), Judas Priest are doing a lot more than going through the motions. Score one more for the old guard of heavy metal.
Family members of those killed in a deadly nightclub fire nearly three years ago reacted with anger and dismay Tuesday to news that the man who started the blaze had cut a deal to spend no more than a decade in jail.
Daniel Biechele, 29, was tour manager of the heavy metal band GREAT WHITE when he lit a pyrotechnics display inside The Station nightclub in West Warwick on Feb. 20, 2003, sparking a fire that consumed the building and killed 100 people, including eight who lived or worked in Connecticut.
Under the terms of the deal, he will plead guilty to half the 200 involuntary manslaughter counts he faced. Each count carried a maximum 30 years in prison.
Talk about the deal of the fucking millennium! Kill 100 people and get ten years. I can completely understand why the family members of the victims are a little pissed off. Daniel Biechele will only be 39 when he gets out of prison. He will still have a good chunk of his life ahead of him. The same can't be said for the victims. I'm not one to wish bad things on people, but I hope the decade he spends behind bars is a very unpleasant experience for him. If evidence comes out in the trial of the two owners of the club that Biechele ignored warnings or instructions from the club owners, he doesn't deserve to get out alive.
This is a recent excerpt from an interview with Disturbed frontman David Draiman
Draiman: "It depends on where you're talking about — if I go to BLABBERMOUTH.NET, I'm probably gonna see a lot of nasty shit. Basically, you're dealing with a whole lot of nasty little fucks who will only listen to metalcore and death metal. Anything that has any kind of melody infused with the exception of NEVERMORE, which is a great band and actually has some melodic singing going on, they slam. You're talking about a maximum of 250,000 people all over the world like that. God Bless them. They can keep it. I don't give a fuck. Things like that message board are just a means of information for a lot of people. For the people who post and respond, it's like an excuse for them go ahead and lash out at somebody who is doing more with their lives than they ever will. So be it. I don't lose any sleep over it. It is what it is. The higher you climb up the ladder the easier it is for people to shoot at you. Let 'em."
I love it when morons like this generalize. I happen to like Blabbermouth quite a bit, in spite of the fact that I have no clue who a lot of the bands mentioned on there are. The site posts quite a bit of metal news in general (ridiculous number of subgenres aside). Personally, I think David Draiman puts down Blabbermouth because there isn't enough posted about his shitty band. I could really care how high up the ladder he thinks his band is. They still suck.
KISS bassist/vocalist Gene Simmons is one of celebrities whose customized "kiss" appears on limited-edition real U.S. postage stamps, called ZazzleStamps, to celebrate Valentine's Day in partnership with The Humane Society of the United States. The stamps will only be available through February 28, 2006. In accordance with the established Zazzle Community Giving Program, The Humane Society of the United States will be receiving up to 27% of the total net sales from the stamps. Each sheet includes 20 individual large-format stamps and is available in the most common rates.
How many people are actually surprised by this? Gene $immon$, although I love his band more than any other, is one of the world's biggest marketing whores. It doesn't matter what it is, if he can convince someone to pay him for his likeness, he's in. However, this is one time where he cannot be faulted. Part of this is for charity, and that is always a good thing. I don't own any KISS memorabilia (although I do hope to own a KISS pinball machine one day), but I wouldn't mind putting down some money on this.
According to the Hollywood Reporter, METALLICA drummer Lars Ulrich's girlfriend Connie Nielsen will guest-star in six episodes of "Law & Order: SVU" while series star Mariska Hargitay is on maternity leave later this year.
Nielsen will play an NYPD detective on temporary assignment to the sex crimes unit that the NBC drama revolves around, while Hargitay's character, Detective Olivia Benson, is working on a special assignment. Dick Wolf, co-creator and executive producer of "Law & Order: SVU", said Nielsen was expected to begin shooting her first episodes sometime next month.
"This is an unremittingly positive situation for us," Wolf said. "I‘m thrilled that Mariska is having a baby and thrilled that we have someone of Connie's obvious talent, beauty and stature to come in for these episodes. I think she's going to be a great addition."
Nielsen is best known for her role in the Oscar winner "Gladiator". Her credits include last year's "The Great Raid" and "The Ice Harvest" and 2002's "One Hour Photo".
Like I said, it's a slow news week. Besides, it has little to do with Lars and more to do with his very hot girlfriend (if you don't think she's hot, watch The Devils Advocate). Law & Order: SVU is one of the few shows that I try not to miss when a new episode is on. Nielsen is a pretty good actress. She will easily be as good of a fill-in as Michael Imperoli was on the original Law & Order at the end of last season while Jesse Martin was out. Her addition doesn't make me want to watch any more, but it also doesn't make me want to watch any less.
Launch Radio Networks reports: It hasn't been officially announced yet, but keyboardist Eddie Hawrysch (pronounced harsh) is no longer a member of the BLACK CROWES. Some long-standing issues had been coming to a head, and the sides parted company before the band played at Hard Rock Live in Orlando, Florida, on Sunday (January 29). It's unknown how the band will proceed, but they don't have to make any hasty decisions, since their next show isn't until March 10 at the House Of Blues in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.
As previously reported, Eagle Vision has set a March 21 release date for BLACK CROWES' first-ever live DVD, entitled "Freak 'N' Roll ...Into the Fog".
Shot in Hi-Def at San Francisco's Fillmore Auditorium in August 2005, this two-and-a-half-hour concert features an impressive mix of material from the CROWES' six studio albums, including hits like "Sting Me", "Jealous Again" and "Hard To Handle". Acoustic versions of "She Talks To Angels" and "Sunday Night Buttermilk Waltz" are also highlights of this show.
To quote Ma Kelly (1,000 points if you know the movie), "This really sucks." The Black Crowes' reunion was one of the highlights of 2005. Their show was awesome, and I'm really looking forward to the live DVD. The departure of Ed Hawrysch is not a good thing. He was the last addition to the original lineup, and the only member of the band to have never left. Whatever the reason, it must have been pretty significant. I hope that this doesn't spell the beginning of the end of the band for good. If it does, Kate Hudson will officially be dubbed the second coming of Yoko Ono.
GODSMACK have set an April 25 release date for their new album, "IV". The album's first single, "Speak", will be released to radio on Tuesday, February 14.
In a recent interview with MTV.com, GODSMACK frontman Sully Erna had the following to say about the follow-up to 2003's "Faceless": "It's a killer record, and I'm really curious to see what the public's going to think of it. It's still GODSMACK — I don't think it's lost the integrity of what GODSMACK has built our career off. The toughness of the sound is still there. But we've expanded a little bit more. After 'Faceless', we started to spread our wings a bit and reintroduce guitar solos and stuff like that. The acoustic record [2004's 'The Other Side'] was a departure and it was very well received. It opened up a new audience for us — a lot more adults were coming to the shows, bringing their kids and having a glass of wine. That gave us a permission slip to take it to the next level.
"It will perk people's eyebrows up again," he added. "The first couple of records were kind of the same record, in a sense. They were sort of bordering that metal sound and then the third record had more rock mixed into it. ['The Other Side'] really softened up the sound. This one is more rock and roll, and some songs are very epic, in a TOOL [-ish] sense. Some songs are like old-school GODSMACK, like 'Bad Religion'. It's going to service the core fans and introduce some new music to those fans. It's also going to recruit a bigger and broader audience, because the songwriting has matured so much."
From what Sully is saying, this should be one hell of an album. Godsmack has yet to do one that sucks, and to hear that they are taking cues from everything they have done in the past is a damn good sign. For an acoustic record, The Other Side was damn good, and with that album, Godsmack grew as artists. I have a feeling that this album will make a bold statement, and I mean that in a good way. Besides, the mention of there being songs along the lines of Bad Religion (my personal favorite Godsmack tune) is more than enough to peak my interest. It's gonna be a good year for new releases.
Something to vent about
It goes like this. The last time I wrote and you read, the topic was Kurt Cobain. While I get my share of feedback for my columns, it seems that this subject in particular got me more attention than usual. I'm usually not one to include feedback in the column, but in this case, I'm making an exception. I am very happy to say that the overwhelming majority of people who wrote to me share in my opinion.
Mike DeBaggis wrote:
Mr. Walker, I just felt it necessary to respond to your comments regarding Kurt Cobain and Nirvana. I wanted to thank you. Thank you for having the guts to say what many people just plain do not want to hear. Thank you for saying what I have been saying since the first video came out. Thank you
I got called Mr. Walker. Check that shit out!
Angelo C Baca wrote:
Hey dude. Long time reader, first time writer. I always
enjoy your articles, often moreso than your peers. So keep
up the good work first of all.
Regarding Kurt Cobain, Amen brother. Someone needed to
point that shit out at some point. Every "Best Bands of
All Time" list has Nirvana in the top ten and it's just so
fucking ridiculous. I think that they wrote some pretty
good songs during their time and I do understand their
talent, but they have no right being listed next to The
Beatles, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, etc.
Alice in Chains were eons ahead of these guys and get
absolutely no respect. Thank you sir. Nirvana is, in fact,
the most over-rated band of all time.
I'm glad you enjoy my column, but my peers kick ass too. They're just not as angry as me (Ben is trying, though).
And speaking of my peers, this one comes from one of 411 music's own Stephen Morgan:
I write The Untouchables column at 411mania. I read what you said about Kurt Cobain and thought you might be interested in a thing I did on Nirvana about a month ago. I have a similar view to you on the matter, a little less extreme maybe, but I can agree with you that Kurt and Nirvana weren't all they were/are cracked up to be.
And an automatic pimp goes out to him for this column in particular.
There were several others in favor of what I said as well, including a couple that asked my opinion on a couple of other bands from the 90's (Mad Season and Green Day to be exact). We'll save that for another day. It is more than worth discussing.
We did, however, have a lone person who wrote in for the opposite point of view. This person did not give their name, nor did they sign the email in any way. Since there was no signature, we'll use this: rezn@micro-fault.com His email address.
I was going to email and rip into your comments about Nirvana and how
short sighted it is to look at Nivana fans who think they are the greatest
thing ever as being stupid, by taking an extreme position in the other
direction that makes you come off just as blind to the reality of music as
the fanboys.
I was going to do that, until I realized all you 411 writers do with
emails is post 'em in your colemn as filler and try to think of sarcastic
yet unclever comments to avoid any points the emailer might have made. So
I 'll just leave this as a, "Go Fuck Yourself."
Now, I like to pride myself on being a stand up guy. And since he didn't really go over board with the insults, I decided to give him a second chance. I responded to his email with this:
Go fuck yourself? That's the best you can do? Come on! I have said it
before and I will say it again, a nice chunk of what I say is opinion. You
are entitled to one just as much as I am. If you have an opposing argument,
voice it. I have absolutely no problem with someone having a different
point of view than myself. If you send me an intelligent argument, then I
will respond to you and I may or may not print it in next week's column. In
case you haven't noticed, most 411 writers that print sarcastic rebuttals to
what readers send them do that only because someone sent them an email
insulting them rather than giving an opposing view. I am the same way. So,
if you are up to it, take some time, write your argument, and send it to me
(without telling me to go fuck myself).
Rhett
P.S. Sign your email next time!
This was nearly two weeks ago. Have I received a response? No. Translation: this person, whoever they are, is a brainless pussy. This person either does not have enough living brain cells to write a cohesive argument, or is too much of a coward to write it because I might print and dissect it. I would apologize for existing on a greater plane of intelligence and for having some testicular fortitude, but since I think having brains and balls is a positive thing, I'm not going to.
For those that don't quite understand how things are done here at The Southern Fried Chronicle (and the village idiot above is clearly one of them), allow me to explain.
The Southern Fried Chronicle is a music news and opinion column. All news that is included in the column is subject to commentary written by yours truly. Aside from news, I write about things that are happening or have happened in music. As long as its music (most of the time), I write about what I want, when I want, and how I want. More times than not, I write about things in music that piss me off because a) I feel like it, and b) it's more fun.
Now here's the part that really needs to be spelled out.
THERE IS NOT A SINGLE FUCKING THING THAT IS IMMUNE FROM ME SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT IT! This includes bands/individuals that I don't like, as well as those that I like a whole bunch. I don't give a shit who it is. If it pisses me off, I'm going to write about it.
So, if you get pissed off about something I wrote about in my column, so be it. You have your opinion, and I have mine. The only difference is mine is available in a new edition once a week (most of the time) on the internet for free. If you can't handle an opposing view, then stick to the news sections of the site and stay away from the columns. If you have a differing opinion, feel free to write to me, or whoever you're reading, and voice it (in an intelligent manner, of course). I think I can speak for everyone who writes for this site when I say that we all really enjoy doing this and like that people read what we write and take the time to respond to us. Telling one of us to go fuck ourselves, however, is a different story.
This column has been brought to you by…
The Black Crowes – By Your Side
Opeth – Ghost Reveries
