411 Music Roundtable: March Edition

Posted by Mitch Michaels on 03.01.2006

Now in Technicolor! The 411 staff looks back on February, a month that was short on days but long on music news, especially if you care about Guns N’ Roses.


MARCH 2006

It's that time once again, where the acclaimed and honorable order of the 411mania Music Zone pauses for a moment as it harkens back to ponder on the month that has passed and looks over the horizon to speculate on the musical happenings that may arise under the next lunar cycle. It has been dubbed the 411 Music Roundtable.

We're under a slightly new format this month, and we hope you guys enjoy it…


BIGGEST WINNER OF THE MONTH


Axl Rose
Scott Rutherford: Has anyone gotten more publicity off not releasing something? I think the fact that the stuff that has been leaked has gotten some decent response adds fuel to the GN'R fire and if/when/maybe he releases Chinese Democracy it should at least cause a stir.

Jared McGuckin: This month he got people talking, yet again, about the seemingly ever pending release of Chinese Democracy. The difference this time around is he has a month pinned down for release later this year and a few songs have already leaked out onto the internet. I wouldn't be surprised if it really is released sometime this year.

Brandon Ratliff: For all the publicity. As the dude from Airheads said, you can't buy this kind of media exposure.

Kelly Clarkson
Morgan Marx: Though Mariah Carey was supposed to dominate the female awards at this year's Grammy Awards, Clarkson sprung the upset for Pop Vocal Album and Female Vocal Performance. Clarkson manages to appeal to both hipsters (Pitchfork proudly pimped her for single of the year 05) and mainstream audiences. She even managed to survive From Justin To Kelly. Shudder…

Arctic Monkeys
Brian Berry: The hype train just pulled into the United States and everyone but Brian Berry is getting aboard.

The Continent of Europe
Tollah: They are having all these badass hard rock/metal festivals with like GnR, Whitesnake, Hanoi Rocks and tonnes more great bands playing. Australia really sucks ass sometimes.

James Blunt
Luke Beach: I can't stand his music, but I'm giving it to Blunt for winning Best Pop and Best Male Solo at The Brit Awards, thereby confirming his position as the most popular fake and awful songwriter at the UK's most popular fake and awful awards ceremony. It's amazing how one awful and dreary romantic song that appeals to the tasteless public can sell so many albums. James Blunt is by far the worst singer-songwriter I've ever heard, but he's constantly pushed into the face of every British home by the music media to sell more albums, singles, TV shows, and magazine covers.

Jack Johnson
Mitch Michaels: It's nice to see Johnson finally hit the top of the charts after two "close, but no cigar"s. I just wonder if he ever thought that his first #1 album would be tied to an animated monkey?


BIGGEST LOSER OF THE MONTH


Axl Rose
Scott Rutherford: For getting so much publicity and NOT releasing something. It's pretty obvious he has finished work on the next GN'R album so why the fuck ain't it been released? Tollah is getting very angry and I can't hold him back any longer.

The Grammys
Morgan Marx: Will they ever get it right? While I'm a big U2 fan, and their latest offering is certainly a good album, its multiple Grammy wins showed how out of touch the Grammy voters are.

Rick Rubin
Jared McGuckin: That's right, I think Rubin is a great producer but I think he's wasting his time with Metallica. No good will come of this, in fact it's my prediction Rubin will get Lars and company to sound more like the Metallica of old but it will only be a hollow shell of their former selves. You heard it here first kids.

Paul McCartney
Brian Berry: What the fuck was he thinking getting on stage with Linkin Park and Jay-Z for the massacre of "Yesterday"???

Kid Rock & Scott Stapp
Brandon Ratliff: You know why...

The British Music Industry
Luke Beach: Basically, when your whole system is based upon the media specifically telling the public what to buy, there's going to be a backlash. At the moment, magazines like NME and stations like BBC Radio 1 work together to promote a ‘next big thing' every month, but at some point I can see it all crashing down as people realize just what's going on. There's a reason why Franz Ferdinand and Bloc Party missed out on The Brit Awards.

George Michael
Mitch Michaels (no relation): It seemed to be the month of musicians taking a cue from Judas Priest and "breakin' the law, breakin' the law". Britney drove around like a dumbass with her baby on her lap, The Stones got censored by the network (of course, if you don't believe that was pre-planned by both parties, you're a moron), and even country love song guy John Michael Montgomery spent the night in lockdown after getting pulled over for driving drunk with an unregistered pistol and unprescribed pain pills. But I think the biggest loser had to be the ex-Wham! rump shaker, who finally got his name back in the news, but had to get caught with drugs to do it. At least the gay public restroom stuff was more interesting, and definitely more embarrassing.


BIGGEST MUSIC NEWS OF THE MONTH


Jack Johnson Debuting At #1 On Billboard
Scott Rutherford: I know this might sound trivial (and a little dated) but having a real singer/songwriter at the top of the charts warmed this man's heart. Have a quick glance at the acts around him and you see the ultra-manufactured pop music that will rot your brains and then Johnson, at once a sore thumb and shining light. Hopefully good taste will break out more in the near future.

New GN'R
Morgan Marx: You've seen the fireworks here at 411. It seems the mere possibility of Chinese Democracy gracing the shelves of music stores can set the world in a tizzy. Here's hoping the music delivers, no matter how eccentric Axl has become.

Tollah: All this GN'R stuff - the leaks, the announced concerts, everything. If they don't release the album in the next few months on the back of all this publicity, Axl's nuts.

Luke Beach: I'd be willing to bet money that Chinese Democracy is the most popular answer in this segment, and it's mine too. I'm not even going to try and guess if it'll actually come out, because only Axl Rose knows that, but I do know that if it does I'll buy it straight away. The news has got me listening to my GN'R back catalogue again, and now I'm wondering why I stopped.

The Scott Stapp/Kid Rock Sex Tape
Jared McGuckin: Well, call me old fashioned, but nothing peaks my interest like a Scott Stapp story. A couple of weeks ago, news broke about a new sex tape starring everyone's favorite drunk, Stapp, Kid Rock and four groupies. Funny thing is, Kid Rock is getting second billing on this one. You may hate Scott Sapp, but his downward spiral is fun as hell to watch.

Nick Wants Alimony
Brian Berry: Is Nick Lachey suing Jessica Simpson or did I dream that?

Alice In Chains Returns
Brandon Ratliff: Alice In Chains is reuniting to tour, which may or may not be true. That, or even more rumors from the Tool camp. Take your pick.

Metallica Drafts Rick Rubin
Mitch Michaels: I'm a big fan of a lot of Rick Rubin's projects, and I think he *MAY* be the shot in the arm that Metallica needs to get going again (even the most hardcore 'Tallica apologizers have to admit that St. Anger was a misstep). I don't know if this is a really good idea or just one last cry of desperation from Lars & Co., but either way, if Rubin sees something salvageable, I'm willing to give the guys that brought thrash to the mainstream another shot.


MOST NOTABLE RELEASE OF THE MONTH


Talking Heads – Their Complete Catalog
Scott Rutherford: I'm not an overly huge fan of the band but they're fucked up and weird and deserve recognition for being as such from a new era of fans. There is much more to this band than the radio staple singles that you hear today and I highly recommend checking them out.

Brian Berry: The Talking Heads reissues are awesome. Bonus tracks, 5.1 surround sound mix, and DVD bonuses. I heard a new album by a Chicago band called The M's too (titled Future Women). They borrow heavily from influences such as The Kinks and T. Rex.

Belle and Sebastian - The Life Pursuit
Morgan Marx: It was kind of a down month for new releases, a calm before the upcoming rush. But B&S's new album is notable for the sheer fact that the group is still releasing good pop music this far into a successful career. Though the band has seen members depart, its core is still going strong.

The Arctic Monkeys - Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not
Jared McGuckin: No doubt the biggest release was the debut album by Artic Monkeys. It's all the buzz this month, but I have yet to hear anything off this record that really blows me away.

Tollah: I dunno. I didn't get any new stuff. I guess that Arctic Monkeys thing.

Luke Beach: I don't know, I didn't buy anything new last month. Probably The Artic Monkey's I Am Whatever You Say I'm Not or whatever it's called.

Garth Brooks - The Lost Sessions
Mitch Michaels: I hate to give the nod to an album that was sorta already released, but in an admittedly thin month, this was by far my favorite CD. Sure, it was a grab for cash, but I like to think of the Thanksgiving box set as the real cash grab, as The Lost Sessions' release as a standalone album was a foregone conclusion even then. The 6 new songs are all top notch, and it also has GB's dirtiest lyrics ever in "Cowgirl's Saddle". Thumbs up!

In Flames - Come Clarity
Brandon Ratliff: As I said in my review of it, it's not quite as different from Soundtrack... as the band would have you think, but it's still a really kickass disc full of good ol' Swedish Fish metal.


MUSIC DVD OF THE MONTH


Foo Fighters: Everywhere But Home
Scott Rutherford: It's a few years old but this set is quite the little rock show.

Meeting People Is Easy: A Film By Grant Gee About Radiohead
Morgan Marx: The most paranoid tour documentary ever. A revealing look at the pitfalls of fame, the difficulties for a hyper-literate band on the road, and how awful it can be when the lead singer of your favorite band just doesn't give a fuck.

Woodstock 99
Jared McGuckin: As lame as it sounds, and as lame as the quality of the DVD was, I was there for four days and it was blast, aside from some really bad music.

Message To Love: Isle Of Wight Festival – The Movie
Brian Berry: If you thought the Rolling Stones' Altamont Concert symbolized the end of the "flower power" era, you have to check this out. Great performances (The Who, The Doors, Hendrix, etc.), dumbass promoters, unruly fans, and priceless footage.

: In Concert - Rave Un2 The Year 2000
Tollah: Showcases the ultimate live showman. Also he plays guitar a lot which rules. Prince is godly when he's wailing.

Guns N' Roses: Welcome To The Videos
Luke Beach: Just because it's fun to relive the old days, and I no longer have music channels available to me to pump Sweet Child Of Mine out every fifteen seconds.

I Am Trying To Break Your Heart: A Film About Wilco By Sam Jones
Mitch Michaels: This is the definitive music documentary, and if you haven't seen it and your interested in the whole album making process and business side of things, it's a must see. So much was happening with Wilco as they made what I consider to be their best album in Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, and this movie takes you right in with their joy, frustration and fears. Some good performances, too.


CLASSIC ALBUM OF THE MONTH


Paul Simon - Graceland
Scott Rutherford: I recently rediscovered this album and it blew my mind how contemporary it still sounds even thought it's approaching 20 years since its release. I'm sure the majority of the 411 readers will balk at this but if you really want to broaden your musical horizons this is a fantastic way to start.

Nine Inch Nails - Broken
Morgan Marx: One of the most successful EPs of all time, born out of a frustrating contract dispute. Trent Reznor has a polarizing effect on people (and on this site), but it's hard to ignore the beauty in this album.

Alice In Chains. Dirt
Jared McGuckin: A classic early 90's album, one listen to this and I'm back in high school. I can almost feel the unbuttoned flannel shirt on my back and wallet chain bang against my hip.

Big Star - #1 Record, Radio City, or Third/Sister Lovers
Brian Berry: The best 70s band you've never heard.

Faster Pussycat - Faster Pussycat
Tollah: Okay, they're not great musicians at all, but it's great fun, sleazy stuff.

Metallica - Master Of Puppets
Brandon Ratliff: I'm gonna have to go mad old school (and cliché) and say Master Of Puppets.

Elliot Smith - Either/Or
Luke Beach: Since I'm mad on Elliot Smith at the moment and I think this is his first ‘great' album. It takes my mind off of the realization that people actually think that James Blunt is a good singer/songwriter.

Sheryl Crow - Tuesday Night Music Club
Mitch Michaels: It's been a hard month for Ms. Crow, what with the breast cancer and the split with Lance Armstrong. Kind of ironic that the lyrics on her debut album got so many other folks through their own bouts with depression back in the mid-90's. What will Sheryl put on while she sits on the couch in the dark?


LYRIC OF THE MONTH

Scott Rutherford: "Always look on the bright side of death/Just before you draw your terminal breath" - Monty Python, "The Life of Bryan"

Morgan Marx: "I'll heal your wounds/I'll set you free/I'm Jesus Christ on ecstasy" - Nine Inch Nails, "Suck"

Jared McGukin: "Grab a scale and guess the weight of all the pain I've given with my name" - Scott Weiland, "Barbarella"

Tollah: "Laughing like a clown/Dragging you down/I tried my hardest/Just to shoot you down" - Faster Pussycat, "Shooting You Down"

Brandon Ratliff: "Miles to go and skies to fly/Hold back the day/Miles to go and skies to fly/It's darkest before the dawn" - Devildriver, "Hold Back The Day"

Luke Beach: "Don't fake it baby, lay the real thing on me/The church of man, love, is such a holy place to be" - David Bowie, "Moonage Daydream"

Mitch Michaels: "What the world needs now is another folk singer/Like I need a hole in my head" - Cracker, "Teen Angst (What The World Needs Now)"

NEXT MONTH'S NEW RELEASES


David Gilmour - On An Island
Scott Rutherford: I will be interested to hear this even just as a curiosity. He kept Pink Floyd alive way past their expiration date but my one reservation is that later day Pink Floyd kinda sucked and he had complete artistic control of the group by then. It is surprising what mindset can do to the creative process so there is every chance he still has some classic tunes in him.

Jared McGuckin: This record should receive some attention if nothing else then it's a former member of Pink Floyd. Something tells me this solo attempt isn't going to rip up the charts; nevertheless, it might be good.

Brandon Ratliff: Hmm...Pink Floyd 2? Nah.

Luke Beach: I'm yet to be converted to the ‘Pink Floyd are the best thing everz' club, but I do like what I've heard. I probably won't buy this, but the results should be pretty interesting.



Joe Satriani - Super Colossal
Scott Rutherford: The guitar nerd in me is all giddy but the straight up music fan has more than a few trepidations. These types of albums can be same/same unless some sort of concept is involved and I haven't head any sort of pre-release hype as to actually quality. But it's Satch, he fucking rules.

Brian Berry: Joe Satriani circa 1986: I sure am an impressive guitarist. Circa 2006: I sure am an impressive guitarist. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Tollah: Eh. I probably won't get it. I'm sure it'll have some super guitar work but I can't listen to most of Satch's stuff without getting bored.



Chicago - XXX
Scott Rutherford: Oh god no! Hide the woman and children, bad 70's soft rock is in the house and assaulting good taste.

Brandon Ratliff: Is this the same band that did "25 Or 6 To 4"? What the fuck does that even mean?

Mitch Michaels: Is this the one with Ice Cube or Vin Diesel?



Placebo - Meds
Scott Rutherford: These guys always come up with a decent song or two per album and I expect no different from this outing but if they really want to impress me they would make a WHOLE album of good songs. In Australia "meds" has a rather amusing connotation, I wonder does it in other parts of the world?

Brian Berry: Haven't heard from these guys in a while. I'll check it out.

Tollah: I'm with Rutherford on this one. It'll probably have 2 or 3 good songs and the rest will be pretentious twaddle.

Luke Beach: I guess they're not that relevant anymore, but I like Placebo. This really needs to be a good record to get much attention, though, since Placebo have pretty much been thrown out in the cold by the fake Brit-pop resurgence.



Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Show Your Bones
Scott Rutherford: Overrated punk band comes forth with an overrated follow-up. Nuff said.

Morgan Marx: Well, "Gold Lion" is certainly a step in a new direction for the YYYs. I think the hype surrounding the "New York Scene" has died down considerably, freeing the band to make the record they wanted to. Here's hoping it lives up to my personal expectations.

Jared McGuckin: Another group of people who should just quit now. But unfortunately, people will buy it, and I'll have to hear about how good the new record is, even though it sucks. Life is tough.

Tollah: I'll probably pick it up. Should be interesting. I'd bone her.

Luke Beach: I liked Fever To Tell. I might pick this up, if it gets enough critical love.



Tim McGraw - Greatest Hits, Vol. 2
Scott Rutheford: The complete opposite of what country music really is. Will sell millions...unfortunately.

Brian Berry: Musicians like Tim McGraw give country music a bad name. This dude is a pop star, plain and simple. I can't imagine anybody but sorority girls buying this crap.

Mitch Michaels: So many pop country haters. I've never been a huge Tim McGraw fan, but I think he's better than Toby Keith, and I like a lot of his songs, especially the George & Tammy vibe on his new duet with Faith Hill. This'll be all the stuff from his biggest years, as the first volume was more his coming out party. You gotta give the guy credit, he started out with a silly novelty song called "Indian Outlaw", then somehow became the "country party" guy a bit before that honor was handed over to Kenny Chesney. Now it's over a decade later and he's still standing. It'll be interesting what "Phase III" of his career brings from an older and wiser artist.



Devo 2.0 - Devo 2.0
Morgan Marx: A band perennially ahead of its time tries to go the Kidz Bop route. Somehow, I'm not surprised.

Brian Berry: Kids singing Devo tunes??? I've got to hear this. Creepy or funny? I'll let you know.

Mitch Michaels: So let me get this straight: the surviving members of Devo are re-recording their hits (a one song CD?), but with kids doing the vocals, and one brand new song, for Disney. And people are going to be buying this because...?



Neko Case - Fox Confessor Brings The Flood
Morgan Marx: With the New Pornographers riding high, Case goes the solo route again. She's got another one of those arresting voices that draws you in and doesn't let go.

Brian Berry: She's hot and she has a great voice. If you can stomach female country singers give her a go. Her solo work sounds nothing like what she does with The New Pornographers.



Bizzy Bone - Story
Jared McGuckin: Why do people in the music industry always stay around way too long? I have zero interest in this one, as I hated Bone Thugs, so I will probably hate this too.



Kris Kristofferson - This Old Road
Brian Berry: Kristofferson is one of the best singer-songwriters in country music history as well as a hardcore badass. Don't expect Rick Rubin on board to revitalize this 70 year old's reputation. KK will do things his way or no way. Throw out that pop country bullshit (Kenny Chesney, Tim McGraw, Keith Urban) and listen to the real deal.

Mitch Michaels: Unlike Willie, Cash and Waylon, there doesn't seem to be a lot of hype around Kristofferson's 70th birthday release. One of the few surviving outlaws from the era that made them famous, Kris supposedly brings the goods on this stripped down offering. I'm interested to hear it.



Mastiyahu - Youth
Brian Berry: How this guy became so popular is beyond me. Somehow the Gap-hippies (i.e. fans of Jack Johnson, G.Love, Jason Mraz, etc.) have claimed this Hasidic reggae guy as their own. I'm completely unimpressed. If I'm listening to reggae, bring me Black Uhuru, Toots & the Maytals, or some of the old Trojan records stuff.



Juvenile - Reality Check
Brian Berry: The Cash Money crew seems to release five albums a month. Little workhorses those Louisiana boys are. Expect this to have two catchy singles and a bunch of filler and interludes. I suggest downloading the singles if anything at all.

Brandon Ratliff: Is he really still around? Must need to pay to fix the cavities in those teef.



Donald Fagan - Morph The Cat
Brian Berry: Why was Steely Dan ever popular? When Fagan performs even he looks bored. Have a smile, big guy! This is dentist chair music for fifty year olds. Yawn.



E-40 - My Ghetto Report Card
Brian Berry: The man who invented the world "fo'shizzle" (no, it wasn't Snoop Dogg) is back. While I wouldn't pick up this album, it should be told that E-40 has one of the best deliveries in top 40 rap music, and he's one of the better wordsmiths. I would recommend getting Game Related by The Click (an E-40 side project) instead. That album has the song "Hurricane".



My Chemical Romance - Life On The Murder Scene
Brian Berry: B-sides/outtakes collection from mall punk troupe. I figure this shit is less harmless for thirteen year olds than manufactured pop. Hopefully MCR will be a gateway to other, better rock/punk bands. If you're over eighteen, you really have no excuse for listening to this.

Brandon Ratliff: Fucking overrated twats.

Luke Beach: Oh dear. Oh dear indeed. The worst part about this rubbish is that one of my housemates will buy and listen to it.



Faktion - Faktion
Brandon Ratliff: After seeing these guys live and interview Marshall (their lead guitarist), I'm really excited to hear this album in it's entirety. I will get that interview up at some point damnit.



Atreyu - A Deathgrip On Yesterday
Brandon Ratliff: I felt as if their debut album could have been stronger as a whole, so I'm interested in this one simply to see if they matured as a band.



Rob Zombie - Educated Horses
Brandon Ratliff: The single is fucking horrible, but I'm still looking forward to it. Nothing else to say.



The Little Willies - The Little Willies
Mitch Michaels: It's nice that a big hit has afforded Norah Jones to screw around and do whatever she wants, but how much longer are people gonna let her before they stop paying to hear it?


THE END
And that'll do it for this month. Join us next month for another thrilling edition of the 411 Music Roundtable!