Sex, News, & Violins 06.09.06
Posted by Jamie Buttineau on 06.09.2006
Beck, The Raconteurs, Scissor Sisters, a big ass Ottawa music festival, Silver Jews, Wolf Parade, a hell of a lot of Cure albums, Lady Sovereign, semi-famous indie bands and their GNR side projects, plus so much much more. Come my children, and bask in the warming glow of my glowing warmness.
Hello and welcome to this week's on time addition of Sex, News, & Violins. Due to time restraints last week's column was a little light on the content but this week I assure you my readers, all 10 of you, that this column will up to my regular book long length. Cuz I like to ramble on and on and on. That's how I make my fun. Good times, good times.
By the way, what the hell is with the Sopranos lately? It's the last season, and it's moving at a glacial pace. I mean the season finale just happened and basically nothing happened. Chrisopher is banging Tony's crush, and AJ is nailing some hot Latino chick but aside from that nothing of note is going on. There better be some huge twists coming up next year, like Tony's been an super secret alien moleman all along or something.
And now the important stories of the week, according to me anyhow, here are…
Headlines
Jack White & The Side Project Experience Take It On The Road!
The Raconteurs have extended their tour past August and going into September. Then they'll probably chill out in October and Jack White will go to Meg White's house and they'll record the next White Stripes album in like three days and call it a year. I wish I could write quirky jazzed up garage rock anthems in less than a week. Friggin' talented weirdo.
I'm just counting the days until Jack White becomes a Scientologist. Come on, doesn't he seem like the type of guy who would totally go for that? It wouldn't be the first cool artist they got, they got Beck after all. BECK! If they can get Beck then Jack White should be a breeze. Dude already goes in public dressed in red and white tuxedos and top hats, carries a cane, and is paler than Michael Jackson. A crazy alien cult would look good on him. Anyway, tour dates, yeah:
They cried the tour dates forever!:
06-07 Los Angeles, CA - Henry Fonda Theater
06-21 London, England - Hyde Park (Wireless Festival)
06-24 Scheesel, Germany - Hurricane Festival
06-25 Neuhausen Ob Ek, Germany - Southside Festival
07-02 Roskilde, Denmark - Roskilde Festival
07-03 Malmo, Sweden - Accelerator
07-05 Kristiansand, Norway - Quart Festival
07-06 Stockholm, Sweden - Accelerator
07-16 Denver, CO - The Fillmore Auditorium
07-18 Tempe, AZ - Marquee Theatre
07-19 San Diego, CA - Soma
07-21 Los Angeles, CA - Wiltern Theatre
07-23 San Francisco, CA - Warfield Theatre
07-25 Portland, OR - Roseland Theatre
07-26 Vancouver, British Columbia - Malkin Bowl at Stanley Park
07-27 Seattle, WA - Moore Theatre
08-03 Minneapolis, MN - First Avenue
08-04 Chicago, IL - Lollapalooza
08-05 Ann Arbor, MI - Michigan Theatre
08-06 Cleveland, OH - House of Blues
09-14 Houston, TX - Verizon Wireless Theater
09-15 Grand Prairie, TX - Nokia Live
09-16 Austin, TX - Austin City Limits Festival
09-19 Atlanta, GA - The Tabernacle
09-20 Orlando, FL - Hard Rock Live
09-22 Norfolk, VA - The Norva
09-24 Atlantic City, NJ - House of Blues
09-26 New York, NY - Roseland Ballroom
09-28 Providence, RI - Lupo's Heartbreak Hotel
09-29 Boston, MA - Orpheum Theater
09-30 Montreal, Quebec – Metropolis
Speaking Of Crazy Scientologists
Beck's new album is said to be set for release for this fall, which has me all a flutter. I loved Guero, and of course Odelay is like standard issue for any fan of weird music. I haven't gotten around to listening to Sea Change or Midnight Vultures yet but they're on my to do list.
Beck will going on a 10 date North American tour and will probably show off his new material there. I can't seem to find any info on that tour tho. Maybe it's one of those deals where they only let you in if your Thetan level is high enough.
Beck will also perform at the Bonnaroo festival, the album was produced by Nigel Godrich, and he's married to the red headed chick from Dazed & Confused. And, that's about the information I have on Beck right now. Next story!
Shalom In Your Home
The Silver Jews are about to embark on an international tour this summer. Apparently the band doesn't usually play many live shows so this is somewhat of a big deal. For the indie crowd anyhow. I like those guys, they're laid back and bluesy. I just got American Water the other day it's a pretty great album. Fun and laid back. That's what I look for in my stoner/college rock.
They're also going to be at the Pitchfork festival. Then again, seems like every band is gonna be at the Pitchfork festival so that could have been assumed. Now those dates.
Oy vey:
06-23 Umbertide, Italy - Rockin Umbertide Festival
06-24 Milan, Italy - Berafestival
06-26 Barcelona, Spain - Pocket Club
06-27 Toulouse, France - Puerto Habana
06-29 Paris, France - Mo'Fo Fest
07-01 Roskilde, Denmark - Roskilde Festival
07-03 Malmo, Sweden - Folkets Park
07-05 Goteborg, Sweden - Accelerator Festival
07-06 Stockholm, Sweden - Accelerator Festival
07-07 Borlange, Sweden - Peace and Love Festival
07-08 Kristiansand, Norway - TrashPop
07-10 Tel Aviv, Israel - The Mayumana House
07-11 Tel Aviv, Israel - The Patiphone
07-13 Manchester, England - Academy
07-14 Cardiff, Wales - The Point
07-15 London, England - Mean Fiddler
07-28 St. Louis, MO - Duck Room at Blueberry Hill
07-29 Chicago, IL - Pitchfork Music Festival
08-19 Crickhowell, Wales - Green Man Festival
09-07 Seattle, WA - Showbox
09-10 San Francisco, CA - Mezzanine
09-12 Los Angeles, CA - Henry Fonda Theater
I Really Don't Wanna Drive To Ottawa Though
Hey, do you like Canadian music? Hey, do you like festivals? Hey, would you like a festival that had Canadian music? No? Well then skip this story.
For the rest of you, there's a big festival about to go down in Ottawa with a lot of Canadian bands and some bands from elsewhere too. Plus two of my favourite all time bands ever at the same festival, The New Pornographers and Broken Social Scene! I mean egads, how can you not wanna go?! I really don't get why The New Pornographers aren't more famous than they are right now. They kick righteous ass, plus Destroyer and Neko Case are awesome on their own as well. If it has The New Pornographers seal of approval then it's got my dollar. Also at the show, Fergie impersonator/sellout extraordinaire Nelly Furtado, and fellow Broken Social Scene acolytes Metric and Feist. If I had the gas to go I would.
Here's the full line up thus far: Broken Social Scene, the New Pornographers, the Fiery Furnaces, Wilco, Feist, Calexico, Jamie Lidell, Bell Orchestre, Metric, Holy Fuck, Nelly Furtado, Cadence Weapon, Controller Controller, Jason Collett, Great Lake Swimmers, the M's, Amadou & Mariam, Seu Jorge, Rihanna, Kathleen Edwards, Mark Kozelek, the Stills, Son Volt, Hackensaw Boys, Konono No. 1, Ani DiFranco (I dunno I kinda dig her stuff), Hawthorne Heights, Thornetta Davis, Rosanne Cash, KC's Boogie Blast ft. KC & the Sunshine Band , Gloria Gaynor, Tavares, and, of course, Sister Sledge.
Holy shit! KC & The Sunshine Band?!! That's awesome!! I wanna go even more now! Disco bitches!!
What's With Canadian Music And Being Awesome Lately Anyhow?
Indie darlings Wolf Parade and Frog Eyes will be going on tour together. Personally I prefer Sunset Rubdown to Wolf Parade but they're good too so no harm no foul.
And by the way does Canada rule at music or what? We got The New Pornographers, Broken Social Scene, Feist, Metric, Destroyer, k-os, Alexisonfire, City & Colour, Neverending White Lights, Buck 65, Hot Hot Heat, Stars, The Arcade Fire, Final Fantasy, Sunset Rubdown and there's probably a lot more that I'm missing. Bow down world, for Canada is the new music king!
Dates:
08-04 Ottawa, Ontario - Barrymore's Music Hall *
08-05 Toronto, Ontario - Phoenix *
08-06 Detroit, MI - Magic Stick *
08-07 Chicago, IL - Metro *
08-08 Chicago, IL - Metro *
08-09 Minneapolis, MN - First Avenue *
08-20 Vancouver, British Columbia - Commodore Ballroom *
08-22 Portland, OR - Crystal Ballroom *
08-24 San Francisco, CA - The Fillmore *
08-25 Los Angeles, CA - Wiltern Theatre *
08-27 Salt Lake City, UT - In the Venue *
09-03 Montreal, Quebec - Osheaga Festival
09-15 Austin, TX - Austin City Limits Festival
* with Frog Eyes
These Guys Were Making People Feel Sad Before You Even Knew What A Radiohead Was! HAIL TO THEM!
Time for news on The friggin‘ Cure y'all. Yeah, Robert Smith is like fifty years and he's still wearing goth makeup, playing with keyboards and crying into a microphone. That's a real man. Forget Tupac, that's real gangsta. Tupac ain't got shit on The Cure.
Anyway Rhino Records will be reissuing The Cure albums, The Top, The Head On The Door, and Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me. Along with that they'll be reissuing Blue Sunshine from Glove, the side project of Robert Smith and Siouxie & The Banshees bassist Steve Severin. I've never even heard of that before. So slap on some eyeshadow, cut your wrists and start writing crappy poetry about sorrow, it's Cure time baby! Here's the tracklisting:
The Top:
Disc 1:
01 Shake Dog Shake
02 Birdmad Girl
03 Wailing Wall
04 Give Me It
05 Dressing Up
06 The Caterpillar
07 Piggy in the Mirror
08 The Empty World
09 Bananafishbones
10 The Top
Disc 2 (Rarities):
01 You Stayed... (Robert Smith Home Demo)
02 Ariel (Robert Smith Home Demo)
03 A Hand Inside My Mouth (Studio Demo)
04 Sadacic (Robert Smith Studio Demo)
05 Shake Dog Shake (Studio Demo)
06 Piggy in the Mirror (Studio Demo)
07 Birdmad Girl (Studio Demo)
08 Give Me It (Studio Demo)
09 Throw Your Foot (Studio Demo)
10 Happy the Man (Studio Demo)
11 The Caterpillar (Studio Demo)
12 Dressing Up (Studio Alt. Mix)
13 Wailing Wall (Studio Alt. Mix)
14 The Empty World (Live Bootleg)
15 Bananafish Bones (Live Bootleg)
16 The Top (Live Bootleg)
17 Forever (Version) (Live Bootleg)
The Head on the Door:
Disc 1:
01 In Between Days
02 Kyoto Song
03 The Blood
04 Six Different Ways
05 Push
06 The Baby Screams
07 Close to Me
08 A Night Like This
09 Screw
10 Sinking
Disc 2 (Rarities):
01 In Between Days (Robert Smith Home Demo)
02 Inwood (Robert Smith Home Demo)
03 Push (Robert Smith Home Demo)
04 Innsbruck (Robert Smith Home Demo)
05 Stop Dead (Studio Demo)
06 Mansolidgone (Studio Demo)
07 Screw (Studio Demo)
08 Lime Time (Studio Demo)
09 Kyoto Song (Studio Demo)
10 A Few Hours After This... (Studio Demo)
11 Six Different Ways (Studio Demo)
12 A Man Inside My Mouth (Studio Demo)
13 A Night Like This (Studio Demo)
14 The Exploding Boy (Studio Demo)
15 Close to Me (Studio Demo)
16 The Baby Screams (Live Bootleg)
17 The Blood (Live Bootleg)
18 Sinking (Live Bootleg)
Kiss Me Kiss Me Kiss Me:
Disc 1:
01 The Kiss
02 Catch
03 If Only Tonight We Could Sleep
04 Why Can't I Be You?
05 How Beautiful You Are...
06 Snakepit
07 Hey You!
08 Just Like Heaven
09 All I Want
10 Hot Hot Hot!!!
11 One More Time
12 Like Cockatoos
13 Icing Sugar
14 The Perfect Girl
15 A Thousand Hours
16 Shiver and Shake
17 Fight
Disc 2 (Rarities):
01 The Kiss (Robert Smith Home Demo)
02 The Perfect Girl (Studio Demo)
03 Like Cockatoos (Studio Demo)
04 All I Want (Studio Demo)
05 Hot Hot Hot!!! (Studio Demo)
06 Shiver and Shake (Studio Demo)
07 If Only Tonight We Could Sleep (Studio Demo)
08 Just Like Heaven (Studio Demo)
09 Hey You! (Studio Demo)
10 A Thousand Hours (Studio Alt. Mix)
11 Icing Sugar (Studio Alt. Mix)
12 One More Time (Studio Alt. Mix)
13 How Beautiful You Are (Live Bootleg)
14 The Snakepit (Live Bootleg)
15 Catch (Live Bootleg)
16 Torture (Live Bootleg)
17 Fight (Live Bootleg)
18 Why Can't I Be You? (Live Bootleg)
The Glove: Blue Sunshine:
Disc 1:
01 Like an Animal
02 Looking Glass Girl
03 Sex-Eye-Make-Up
04 Mr. Alphabet Says
05 A Blues in Drag
06 Punish Me With Kisses
07 This Green City
08 Orgy
09 Perfect Murder
10 Relax
Bonus tracks:
11 The Man From Nowhere (Original Instrumental Mix)
12 Mouth to Mouth (Landray Vocal Mix)
13 Punish Me With Kisses (Mike Hedges Mix)
14 The Tightrope (Original Instrumental Mix)
15 Like an Animal (12" Club What Club? Mix)
Disc 2 (Rarities):
01 Like an Animal (Robert Smith Vocal Demo)
02 Looking Glass Girl (Robert Smith Vocal Demo)
03 Sex-Eye-Make-Up (Robert Smith Vocal Demo)
04 Mr. Alphabet Says (Alt. Robert Smith Vocal Demo)
05 A Blues in Drag (Alt. Robert Smith Vocal Demo)
06 Punish Me With Kisses (Robert Smith Vocal Demo)
07 This Green City (Robert Smith Vocal Demo)
08 Orgy (Robert Smith Vocal Demo)
09 Perfect Murder (Alt. Robert Smith Vocal Demo)
10 Relax (Alt. Robert Smith Vocal Demo)
11 The Man From Nowhere (Alt. Instrumental Mix)
12 Mouth to Mouth (Robert Smith Vocal Demo)
13 Opened the Box (A Waltz) (Robert Smith Vocal Demo)
14 The Tightrope (Almost Time) (Robert Smith Vocal Demo)
15 And All Around Us the Mermaids Sang (aka Torment)
16 Holiday 80 (Original Instrumental Mix)
Wow, even I think this is too much Cure stuff. It's like when you have a piece of chocolate, and it's good so you eat some more chocolate. And then eventually you eat too much and you never want a piece of chocolate again. That's similar to this. It's enough to make you sick of The Cure (see what I did there? Now THAT'S writing.)
The Grandmasters Of Grime
That's what they call it right? Grime? That's like british rap or whatever? God I hate genres, too many of them.
Anyway two of Britain's biggest rap/grime/what the fuck ever artists The Streets and Lady Sovereign are teaming up for a tour this summer. Now I kinda get Lady Sovereign being taken seriously as she's shown enough talent to be seen as a legitimate artist. Plus I like her stuff, "Random" is a cool song.
The Streets confuse me, I'm not sure whether or not I'm supposed to take them seriously. "You're Fit But You Know It" is catchy tho. In a stupid way.
The Streets will also perform on Jimmy Kimmel Live on June 12 and Letterman on June 30. Here's all the dates.
Let's commence:
The Streets:
06-07 Seattle, WA - Showbox *
06-08 Portland, OR - Wonder Ballroom *
06-09 San Francisco, CA - The Fillmore *
06-10 Los Angeles, CA - Henry Fonda Theatre *
06-14 Boulder, CO - Fox Theatre *
06-16 Austin, TX - La Zona Rosa *
06-18 Manchester, TN - Bonnaroo
06-21 Boston, MA - Avalon Ballroom *
06-22 Montreal, Quebec - Spectrum de Montreal *
06-23 Toronto, Ontario - The Phoenix *
06-24 Chicago, IL - Intonation Music Festival *
06-27 New York, NY - Webster Hall *
07-01 Roskilde, Denmark - Roskilde Festival *
08-05 Westmeath, Ireland - Hi:Fi Festival
08-26 Reading, England - Carling Weekend
08-27 Leeds, England - Carling Weekend
* with Lady Sovereign
Lady Sovereign dates:
07-05 Kristiansand, Norway - Quart Festival
07-15 Amsterdam, Netherlands - 5 Days Off Festival
07-30 New York, NY - Central Park Summerstage
08-04-06 Chicago, IL - Lollapalooza
08-12 Tokyo, Japan - Summer Sonic
08-13 Osaka, Japan - Summer Sonic
08-25 Leeds, England - Leeds Festival
08-27 Reading, England - Reading Festival
09-02 Seattle, WA - Bumbershoot Festival
Clap Your Hands And Say YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Well this is a funny little story. Sean Greenhalgh, the drummer for quaint little indie group Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, has quit his Guns ‘N Roses cover band to commit to CYHSY completely. Um, this is news? How is this news? He played the part of Axl Rose in their band called Mr. Brownstone. They called themselves "The World's Drunkest" Guns ‘N Roses tribute band. Well that's certainly a title to be proud of. This is some front page material right here folks. Stupid Pitchfork.
CYHSY will also be heading into the studio soon, so expect more indie yelping goodness ahead. Here's some dates just to pad this story out a little more.
Yes:
06-17 Manchester, TN - Bonnaroo
06-29 Roskilde, Denmark - Roskilde Festival
06-30 Werchter, Belgium - Rock Werchter Festival
07-01 St. Gallen, Switzerland - St. Gallen Festival
07-02 Montreaux, Switzerland - Montreux Jazz Festival
07-05 Kristiansand, Norway - Quart Festival
07-07 London, England - London Forum
07-08 Balado, Scotland - T in the Park
07-09 Naas, Ireland - Oxegen Festival
07-20 Melbourne, Australia - TBA
07-22 Sydney, Australia - TBA
07-23 Byron Bay, Australia - Splendour in the Grass
07-29 Yuzawa-machi, Japan - Fuji Rock Festival
08-25 Paris, France - Rock en Seine
08-26 Reading, England - Reading Festival
08-27 Leeds, England - Leeds Festival
09-28 New York, NY - Central Park
Such a stupid story.
Rave On My Phreaked Out Sisters
Awesome pop/glam rock group the Scissor Sisters are about to release their second album. I'm kinda getting my hopes up based on the awesomeness of their first album, I dunno if they're the kind of band who can make a successful sophomore album. They're gonna have to use every single ounce of their gayness to pull this one off.
Heh, pull this one off…Ahem.
Their new album entitled Ta-Dah (I guess FABULOUS! was a little too on the nose), is set for release on September 18, and the new single "I Don't Feel Like Dancin'" will debut on September 4. The single will also feature a guest appearance by the king/queen of pop/glam rock Elton John. If they have a song that's even half as good as "Laura" or "Tits On The Radio", then I'll be satisfied. And just because they help make a short story longer, here's some performance dates.
Return To Oz:
07-02 Werchter, Belgium - Rock Werchter 2006
07-07 Gydnia, Poland - Heineken Open Air
07-09 Novi Sad, Serbia - Exit Festival
07-15 New York, NY - Coney Island (Siren Festival)
07-20 Benicassim, Spain - Benicassim Festival
07-23 Byron Bay, Australia - Splendour in the Grass Festival
07-26 Syndey, Australia - Luna Park
07-29 Niigata, Japan - Fuji Rock Festival
08-11 Budapest, Hungary - Sziget Festival
08-12 Leipzig, Germany - Maggs Music Hall (Sonne, Mond & Sterne Festival)
08-17 Salzburg, Austria - Frequency Festival
08-18 Hasselt, Belgium - Pukkelpop Festival
08-19 Biddinghuizen, Holland - Lowlands Festival
09-10 Isle of Wight, England – Bestival
I would totally nail Ana Matronic. Come on, she's hot in a chubby, artsy kinda way. Now I wonder if she's gay too, just to give the whole group a sense of symmetry.
They Sound Like My High School Librarian Set To Music
Folksy, whimsical, and somewhat overwrought and pretentious band The Decemberists have released information on their next LP, The Crane Wife. The album is due out on October 3, right now the band is trying to decide what songs to include out of the 22 they're made. Some of which are over 10 minutes. Ah overindulgence, gotta love it.
Don't get me wrong tho, I actually like these guys. I thought Picaresque was an excellent album. "16 Military Wives" and "The Mariner's Revenge Song" are just awesome in my estimation. I just don't want a double album of 22 songs, half of which are 10 minutes long. Sure, I like listening to the full 16 minute version of "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" by Santa Esmeralda as much as the next guy and there's a chance that every song is awesome and perfect at that length. But there's also a chance it could end up like the Red Hot Chili Peppers' latest album. Granted I like that album, but the second disc I can really do without. Meh, we'll have to wait and see.
In an email from the band, they stated that this album would their best ever and will at least be "above average". Well it's nice to know that they're modest too.
Let's kick it old school with some…
RAPIDFIRE NEWS SMARTASSERY!!
The MTV Movie Awards were taped this Sunday and it sounds like a fun little show. Gnarls Barkley dressing up like Stars Wars, Jim Carrey pretending to be Jesus, and Will Ferrell…well Will Ferrell just being there seems entertaining to me. Or at least it will the first time, probably on the million other times I'm bound to see as it's repeatedly shown for months afterwards. Fucking MTV.
The Dixie Chicks new album is selling well but tickets for their tour are not. Yeah, they're kinda in a tough situation. They hate Bush, but they play country. And the people who like country are usually in the Bush friendly states. So basically they've alienated their core audience. Bravo ladies, bravo.
Ya know I downloaded "Last Dance With Mary Jane", and I gotta say, there's definitely some similarities between that song and "Dani California". The Chili Peppers' just funked it up a bit. Hmmm, fascinating. Kind of a Huey Lewis/Ray Parker Jr. situation. Tom Petty vs. Flea, this could be an interesting little death match.
Billy Preston, a Beatles collaborator has unfortunately passed away. He was a collaborator with many musicians and was even referred to as the fifth Beatle. Judging by the picture I saw of him it appeared to be death by afro. Rest in peace.
Meat Loaf is suing Jim Steinman for the right to use the title "Bat Out Of Hell" for his next album. People have suggested that Meat Loaf face Steinman in a street fight to the death to determine who gets to use the name, but he won't do that. No, he won't do that.
DMX will fight seatbelts until they are eradicated! Seatbelts ain't street! You don't make DMX wear no punk ass seatbelt! Did Biggie wear a seatbelt? Did Tupac wear a seatbelt? Did Jesus wear a seatbelt?! Fuck no! This is just the man keeping DMX down! You leave DMX alone traffic cops! Y'ALL BE PLAYA HATING!!
Just put on the fucking seatbelt Earl. You jackass.
Christina Aguilera new album will be a double album. That's twice the skankiness you get in a regular album!
I'd like to see the dad from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air fight the dad from Family Matters. And come on, you know you would too.
The Council Of American Fashion Designers Fashion Awards were this Monday. So if you care about who designs the suits that P. Diddy wears, the dresses that Jessica Simpsons wears, or the handbags that Lindsay Lohan carries around well then….Actually you're just really sad then. Really, really sad.
The people at WeirdAlStar.com have finally raised enough money to have Weird Al Yankovic given a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. And it's about goddamn time. Screw curing diseases, this is a cause to get behind. After all, someone needs to commemorate his brilliant performance in the smash hit UHF. A true classic.
"Badgers, we don't need no stinkin' badgers." Indeed.
Eric Avery, the bassist for Jane's Addiction, might join the reunited Smashing Pumpkins. And if that doesn't work out, Billy Corgan can always write another book of poetry. Ah Blinking With Fists, brilliant in its own stupidity.
In a new interview with Item magazine, Kevin Federline says the following: "If I stay home and take care of my wife and my kids, then I am a loafer, not a good father. If I try to have a career, nobody thinks I am caring for my family. ... I should just put a bull's-eye on my back." Yeah, but that would make it too easy to shoot you. I'm sure everyone who wants you dead wants it to be a bit of a challenge, that way when you finally do get taken down they feel like they've accomplished something.
How long do you think it will be until we find out he has a crack or alcohol problem? 2 months maybe?
Not music news really, but Jodie Sweetin, the former Stephanie Tanner on Full House and meth addict on Full House will host a new show on the Fuse network called Pants-Off Dance-Off revolving around different people stripping to their favourite music. Well it's not exactly whoring yourself out for more drug money, but it's pretty damn close.
American Idol runner up Katharine McPhee has signed a record deal with RCA. Good, now would you just get naked already?! Jeez, if you're gonna be a pop star start prancing around in a bikini already. Cocktease.
Eminem has settled a lawsuit over the illegal use of his songs as ringtones. So if you want to hear a whiny white guy calling people the N-word and talking about loving his daughter while strangling his ex-wife in the same song every time your dad calls you, you're out of luck.
Brooks & Dunn will host the CMA Awards. Well hot damn now I gotsta watch!
Rob Zombie wants to do a Halloween movie. Seeing Michael Myers rock out to "Dragula" does seem intriguing I must admit.
David Bowie will make an appearance in the Ricky Gervais show Extras. I have no smartass comment because I know that is going to be awesome. So awesome.
So so awesome.
Hmmm, slow news week. Well that's no fun.
Billboard Top 20
And the winners are:
1. Dixie Chicks, Taking The Long Way – Well I know who's winning a CMA this year! Oh boy!
2. Various Artists, High School Musical – God bless the Dixie Chicks. If it wasn't for them this hunk of crap would be number one. Sigh, what is in the drinking water these days?
3. Red Hot Chili Peppers, Stadium Arcadium – Plagiarists!
4. Rascal Flatts, Me And My Gang – One gang that should be gunned down.
5. Various Artists, American Idol Season 5: Encores – Just something to help you all get prepared for Taylor Hicks' solo run. I'm pretty sure when you won't be able to see his herking and jerking the novelty of his act will disappear. Then he'll be just another grey haired bar singer. And we shall all laugh.
6. Various Artists, NOW 21 – Crap crap crap and more crap.
7. Tool, 10 000 Days – More grapes for Maynard.
8. Carrie Underwood, Some Hearts – Jesus take the wheel, we're going on a beer run! YEEHAW!! Christ in a Chrysler!
9. James Blunt, Back To Bedlam – Man the top 10 is crap this week.
10. Shakira, Oral Fixation Vol. 2 – Screw the music on this disc, I'd buy it just for the album cover. Rowrrrrr.
11. Rihanna, A Girl Like Me – Meh squared.
12. Angels And Airwaves, We Don't To Whisper – Yes you do need to whisper. Whisper as quietly as you can so I can't hear. Actually, just don't make a sound at all. That would be best.
13. T.I., King – DOWN WITH THE KING!!! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!
14. Gnarls Barkley, St. Elsewhere – Stars Wars costumes, man these guys are awesome.
15. Tim McGraw, Greatest Hits Vol. 2: Reflected – We need a zombie Johnny Cash to come show these country losers who's boss.
16. Panic! At The Disco, A Fever You Can't Sweat Out – Huh, where did this come from?
well that "close the goddamn door" song is kinda catchy. Everything else is crap tho.
17. Chamillionaire, The Sound Of Revenge – Man revenge sounds like ass.
18. Nickelback, All The Right Reasons – Now that Pearl Jam is back do we really even need these guys anymore?
19. Nick Lachey, What's Left Of Me – Almost Gone.
20. Toby Keith, White Trash With Money – Zombie Johnny Cash should beat the hell out of you first.
Important New Releases Of The Week…According To Me
Actually there wasn't a lot that came out this week that caught my attention or interested me so I decided to go back and check out all the releases I hadn't gotten around to listening to yet. So here's my recommendations for the stuff I've caught so far:
I was interested in this more based on the weird title and the fact that Neko Case is a member of my favourite band The New Pornographers. I dunno why I took so long to finally listen to this album but it has definitely met my expectations. Perhaps even exceeded them. Now this is what country should be like in my opinion. This is good stuff, it barely even sounds like country. Neko Case has one of the best voices in music. Great album.
If all the members of The New Pornographers just keep making music together and separately I think everything will be alright. This album is of course by New Pornographers' member Dan Bejar's band, and it's kinda weird. It actually sounds a bit like a more guitar focused New Pornographers' album with just Dan Bejar singing. It's a great album with nice quirky lyrics. Plus I love the way Bejar sings, it's like a drunken Bob Dylan at times.
I dunno even know how to describe this one, it's just weirdness piled on top of weirdness. But I love it. Apparently there's like 730 different samples used on this album, and there was weird recording methods for the percussion. They recorded the drums in a balloon! Underwater! In a fast car! In space! Inside of a dead elephant! In the bowels of hell! You get the idea. It's weird and funky, and go get it.
Apparently the guy who fronts this band was also the front man for Afghan Whigs, who I can't really say I know of. I know of them but haven't listened to any of their stuff. But I hear they're good so I should probably check them out. If their stuff is anything like this album it should be pretty good at least. This album is actually a kind of tribute to New Orleans as it was recorded before, during (somehow) and after Hurricane Katrina. It's hard rocking and even Denis Leary likes it. And if Denis Leary likes it then so should you.
And that's basically everything I listened to this week.
Link It, Link It Good
The June Music Roundtable is up, and hey look at that, I'm involved in it. If that's not reason enough to go check it out I dunno what is. Go now, for the good of the city!
Ian Wright has his top five of the year so far included in this week's Dancing About Architecture. And I basically agree completely, although I would take Broken Social Scene off (because it came out last year over here) and Cat Power too (cuz I haven't heard it), add Neko Case and Destroyer in their place and bump Islands' album down under Sunset Rubdown and Neko Case. So it would go Destroyer, Islands, Neko Case, Sunset Rubdown, and Final Fantasy. Although I'd have to adjust that to fit in Built To Spill, Yeah Yeah Yeah's, Twilight Singers, Herbert, Gnarls Barkley….Ok maybe I don't agree all that much really.
Ben Czajkowski has news about Beck and the Barenaked Ladies, and also references easy made rice products. Always a good idea. Plus there's this little gem:"Jamie Battineau (whose last name I can spell flawlessly now) has another "Sex, News, and Violins." Hehe, I almost hope that was intentional. U instead of an A my friend. Awesome.
Jared McGuckin now has pictures! Wow….So…That's what Devildriver looks like. Huh.
Joshua Richey begs Slipknot fans to stop being Slipknot fans. And he brings up very good points. Hell when I have a kid (or if I'm even allowed to procreate) he/she will listening to nothing but 80's pop. Gotta get them hooked early. Which kid would you rather have, the kind who wears a Slipknot mask or the one who wears a powder blue suit with the sleeves rolled up? Yeah I thought so. He also has naughty Jessica Alba pics and the "Gay Robot". Dunno what that is, but it sounds fabulous.
Andrew Mellick tries to decide whether or not Disturbed is overhyped or underhyped. On a somewhat related note, Richard Cheese is awesome.
And Now The Conclusion
Hey if you're looking for a cool place to get t-shirts, Threadless.com is pretty sweet. Any place that has a shirt like this one right here has my complete and utter support. Plus I could use some free stuff. So very broke.
And because I love linking to other fun stuff, check this out: Monkey Cliff Diving. As much fun as it sounds, and surprisingly more gruesome than you would think. Poor monkeys.
And that's all this week, I'll back again to mock whoever fucks up royally next week. Now send me some angry hate mail. Or some letters about how much I rule. Or more letters about helping some prince give me $1 million dollars by lending him my social security number to help get out of his country. You'd be surprised how many princes need my help, and I for one feel the need to help out in foreign affairs. It's the only right thing to do. Till next time, keep fit and have fun! Bodybreak!
