The 411 Top 5: Week 1
Posted by Brian Berry on 12.12.2006
411 staffers pick their Top 5 Christmas songs in the inaugural edition of the Music Zone's Top 5!
We're pleased as egg nog to present the inaugural edition of The 411 Top 5-Music Edition. This week, our staffers take a look at their Top 5 favorite Christmas songs of all-time! With only a morsel of runover between the lists, even a Grinch could find a few songs they dig out of the bunch. Without further ado, our picks for...
THE TOP CHRISTMAS SONGS OF ALL TIME
Brian Berry (music editor/reviewer):
Honorable Mention: "Father Christmas", The Kinks (brilliant satire on our consumerist culture, totally rocks); "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)", U2 (Phil Spector-esque and one of the best versions of this song); "O Holy Night", Cartman (Cartman forgetting the words makes this one of the best Comedy songs ever); "Ave Maria", Chris Cornell (Cornell's greatest vocal acheivement, very moving); "Blue Christmas", Elvis Presley (a Bluesy Country take on a classic that sounds best from his singular voice); "2000 Miles", The Pretenders (one of the best written non-traditional Christmas songs).
5. "Christmas In Hollis", Run-DMC
Jaws must've been dropping all over the country when Run-DMC reworked "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" as a rap song. making it one of the biggest hits on A Very Special Christmas. Anyone who refers to a reindeer as "illin" is alright by me.
4. "Holly Jolly Christmas", Burl Ives
This is just a straight up, bare bones, holiday pub track. My man, Burl Ives, even looks like ol' Saint Nick...and he sings like he's off at least a jug of egg nog while spitting these lyrics. Drink 2 Hot Toddies and/or ales and it sounds even better.
3. "The Man With All the Toys", The Beach Boys
Sure, the lyrics are corny as hell but the music and vocals totally kill. This is classic early Beach Boys, with light surf riffs. The best part is the breakdown though; when Brian Wilson's falsetto sings "Heee's the maaaaan wiiiiiith aaaaaaalllll theeeeee toooooooooys".
2. "Fairytale of New York", The Pogues
The Pogues brought the world the most unconventional, pessimistic holiday tune, this side of "Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer", in 1988. In this classic single off of If I Should Fall From Grace With God, a man reminisces about his mate while spending Christmas Eve in the drunk tank. As the song unravels we learn the couple started as most do; happy and blinded by love. As time went on the couple grew to resent their time together, as is best expressed in this line/argument between the man and woman within the song: (woman)You're a bum/You're a punk
(man)You're an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
(woman)You scumbag, you maggot/You cheap lousy faggot
Happy Christmas you arse/I pray God it's our last
1. "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus", The Ronettes
Consider the following Christmas songs: U2's "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home), Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You", and Tom Petty's "Christmas All Over Again". Some of the most recognized pop-rock Christmas songs of all-time, right? These songs would not exist if not for producer Phil Spector's 1963 album, A Christmas Gift For You and his "wall of sound" style production. I'll go on the record as saying the entire album should rank as #1. This song was chosen out of the bunch because it's production is more grandiose and the vocals are one million times better than any other version placed on wax (John Mellancamp's version is a snotty winter handkerchief compared to this gem). If you decide to buy one Christmas album in your lifetime, make it Phil Spector's A Christmas Gift For You.
Evocator Manes (music reviewer):
1) Bing Crosby "White Christmas" Amazing production that still sounds good after all these years and years and years. Kinda like It's A Wonderful Life", it ain't the season until this gets dusted off.
2) Spinal Tap "Christmas With The Devil" The main color of the holiday is red. Think about it. Oh, come let us adore him...with a naked hot female altar and heaping helpings of SIN, baby. Fill my plate high! Fuck yeah.
3) David Bowie/Bing Crosby "Little Drummer Boy" There's that fuckin' Bing again and anything Bowie touches is almost instant magic.
4) Fear "Fuck Christmas" Lee Ving sums up in 45 seconds a sentiment that takes the rest of us several sentences to fully realize and express to the depth of our feelings on that matter. If only we could be less verbose and so direct...
5) Blackmore's Night "Christmas Eve" This has done fairly well as a single and is one of the best new (new, as in too recent and underplayed to be sick of yet) seasonal songs around, complete with huge chorus.
HM: Nina Simone "Little Boy Blue" Sure, it's not a Xmas song, but it does rip the riff from "Good King Wenceslas", which is regarded as a Xmas song, even though it makes no direct reference lyrically to Christ at all.
Matt Clifford (music reviewer, columnist):
This is going to be tough and a slighty obscure list because I really hate Christmas songs but here goes:
1) The Pogues - Fairytale Of New York. Superb parody of a traditional Christmas song, the all time best.
2) The Vandals - Oi To The World. Hilarious, a totally unconventional example of the Christmas spirit.
3) The Used - Alone This Holiday. This band used to be quite good and this is actually a great song.
4) Jimmy Eat World - 12.23.95. Who thought a song with 12 words could be so touching and moving.
5) Wham! - Last Christmas. I hated this song but slowly I realised, I'm going to hear it every year till I'm dead so I better just learn to love it.
Leah Baker (music reviewer):
5. "The Haunkkah Song" by Adam Sandler: Please, people, this never gets old, I don't care who you are. If you're one of those people who can get through the holidays without humor, then maybe it doesn't appeal to you. I, however, am not one of those people.
4. "All I Want For Christmas is You" by Olivia Olson: This is the little chick in Love Actually. Her voice is so super powerful for such a small tyke, and for any single person longing for a significant other to share the cold holiday with, the content of the song says it all. A staple, for sure.
3. "White Christmas" by Otis Redding: What the hell would Christmas be without a little bit soul? Boring, that's what. I love anything this man sings, and holiday songs are no exception.
2. "Happy Xmas (War is Over)" by John Lennon: Probably one of the only things my mother and I can agree on...John Lennon's greatness. This song is probably a little more appropriate now than it ever was considering the state of the world right now.
1. "Wintersong" by Sarah McLachlan: McLachlan's recently released holiday album made it's way into my shuffle last month, and I couldn't be happier. She covers Joni Mitchell's "River" on it, as well, which is another favorite of mine. I like this song because it's so honest, has an undertone of sadness, and a mature take on what the holidays are. If you don't have this album, you should change that. Think about it, if you don't, you're probably going to be subjected to your mom's Anne Murray Christmas album instead, and then you'll be kicking yourself because you know she would love Sarah as much as you do.
Caitlin McGuire (music reviewer):
1. "Father Christmas" by The Kinks
Like most of the Kink's Work, "Father Christmas" is a shining example of their retro greatness. And what better anthem for the shopping season than the young capitalist cheers of "Father Christmas, give us your money!"?
2. "What Are You Doing New Years' Eve?" by Rufus Wainwright
Okay, I'm not that big of a musical pariah when I suggest this song; Rufus Wainwright's video for the song has been on Gap commercials since 1998 for the Christmas season with this song. But since Wainwright is still pretty underground, I can take solace in listening to his drawl singing the sticky-sweet "New Years' Eve."
3. "Christmas (Please Come Home)" – Death Cab For Cutie
No questions about it, Death Cab For Cutie is one of the greatest groups making music today. And their version of the song is one of the greatest as well.
4. "Zat You Santa Claus?" by Louis Armstrong
I can't remember which Christmas movie it was that turned me on to "'Zat You Santa Claus," but I do remember that the movie wasn't as good as the song.
5. "I Want An Alien For Christmas" by Fountains Of Wayne
While there are plenty of things I'd rather get this Christmas, an alien ranks pretty high on the list, especially after hearing about all the things you can do with one, like watch The Twilight Zone.
Mikey Migo (music columnist, The Savage Animal):
Honnorable Mention... I Guess.
"Jingle Balls" - Korn
If anything I'm listing this because of how obscure the cover was. I'm not positive, but I believe this track was included on a EP that titled "All Mixed Up" or something of that nature. I'd be for sure if I hadn't of sold all of Korn CDs to support my promoter addictions a few years back.
5.) "This is Halloween" - Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack.
I know it's not a traditional "Christmas song", but when you break it down its what I envision as a perfect Christmas. And no, I'm not talking about Manson's cover. That nearly ruined it for me.
4.) "Another Lonely Christmas" - Prince
Only Prince can make Christmas sexual, depressing, and funkified all at the same time.
3.) "Angel of Harlem" - U2
I had to go into my playlist and start this one up when I thought about it. And yep, it's rocktastic. It's not a blatant Holiday song, but it covers Christmas times and is really a great track outside of the Christmas genre.
2.) "The Grinch" - The Grinch Soundtrack
The song still rocks as much as it did when we'd watch it in school. "You're a mean one.... Mister Grinch!" is one of those memorable lines in music that stands out to anyone. This song and it's arrangment is priceless.
1.) "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" - Frank Sinatra
Ol' Blue Eyes proves with this song that he'll always be the Chairman of the Board. There's nothing else to say about this one. You know it, I know it, and we all like it. If not, I hate you.
Arnold Furious (wrestling recaps/reviews, Raw Report, Furious Flashbacks):
At last an opportunity to push my taste in music on other people. Special mentions for Dean Martin doing "Let It Snow", which I have on at my house every year. Also Slade's "Merry Christmas Everyone" although it's not as good as Wizzard and gets overplayed. Fountains of Wayne's "Alien for Christmas", which is suitably weird. I dig that. And "Feliz Navidad" by Fenix, TX. I couldn't even remember the name of the band when I remembered the song. I had to look through my CD collection.
5) "The Night Santa Went Crazy" – Weird Al Yankovic. A somewhat slanted look at the festive period courtesy of Weird Al. It's slightly better than his other Christmas song; Christmas At Ground Zero. Some of the lyrics in TNSWC are just brilliant. And I quote: "From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo/Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo". The basic gist is that jolly old Saint Nick goes barking mad and massacres everyone at the North Pole. You couldn't get around there "Without steppin' in reindeer guts". He gets banged up by the cops and leaves Mrs Claus to negotiate the movie rights. Meanwhile the elves get jobs working for the postal service. I heart Christmas. I have a Christmas CD that I play at work throughout December, which irritates most people, and this is on there.
4) "I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day" – Wizzard. I like my rock. I'm sometimes lampooned by my younger and more ‘with it' work colleagues for some of my selections. But I feel you really can't go wrong with this bad boy. You can't beat a bit of Roy Wood. Ahem. Well, you probably can or he'd be at #1 not #4 but as I said at the top this is better than Slade's "Merry Christmas Everyone", which gets played to death over the festive period. While I have nothing against Slade and their ridiculous sideburns Wizzard did the better Christmas song.
3) "White Christmas" – Bing Crosby. Ah, the classics. I knew I'd be sticking one classic Christmas song on here and this just about edges out Let It Snow. While Let It Snow is sort of cheerful and nice White Christmas has real depth and warmth to it. It's also the most famous and arguably popular Christmas song ever written. It featured in Irving Berlin's 1942 film Holiday Inn and quickly became a hit. The song became so popular they even wrote another Christmas film just so they could get "White Christmas" into it. It was called, predictably, White Christmas. Crosby is one of those guys with a voice that's timeless. As a result this song never ages and it never will. Amazing to consider how simplistic it is too. Often the best songs are the ones with the most straightforward approach. Like say, Imagine.
2) "Christmas with the Devil" – Spinal Tap. The Tap is another ongoing thing that came about thanks to a successful film. After making the rock parody This is Spinal Tap the members of the fictional band cashed in recorded a studio album (1992's Break Like the Wind). They even went on tour despite just having made a movie about how lousy it is to tour and how it'd be a total disaster. While Tap's musical career was somewhat limited and nowhere near as funny or popular as the film. But I picked up a copy of Break Like the Wind regardless. While it's patchy at best there are a few really decent tracks like the "Sun Never Sweats ("Even the biggest elephant never forgets")", "Bitch School" and this lovely piece of festive joy. If you fancy a chuckle check out Spinal Tap's entirely fictitious discography on Wikipedia. Or even better buy the film on DVD and watch with the band commentary on as it's done in character and gives you a whole new film that's almost as funny as the original.
1) "Fairytale of New York" - The Pogues/Kirsty MacColl. Well, it's the best Christmas song, ever. Brian Berry did a good job of summing it up and picking out the best lyric in the song and indeed any Christmas song. I always thought she sang "arsehole" but it didn't seem to fit. Ever do that? Sing the wrong lyric for nearly 20 years? Yeah, happens to me all the time. Quite the victory the other day when I discovered one of my friends had been singing the wrong lyric to a Nirvana song on In Utero, which I had, in fact, been singing correctly. What does this have to do with Christmas? Not a thing. Merry Xmas!
Jared McGuckin (music reviewer/news reporter Slightly Slanted Music News Report):
Honorable Mention:
"A Charlie Brown Christmas Soundtrack", Vince Guaraldi
That's right, the whole damn record gets the HM. This album is nothing short of a Jazz masterpiece. But this one gets the nod for pure nostalgic reasons, I'm a huge Peanuts Holiday special fan. The Christmas episode is all about the music and the tracks on here remind me of when I was child and Christmas meant more to me then just the bullshit baggage that went with it.
"Dominick the Donkey" Lou Monte
This song is funny as hell. Nothing quite like a song about a donkey to help that fat bastard Santa Claus up the hills of Italy.
"Do They Know It's Christmas Time" Band Aid
I am a child of the 80's, so this song just screams Christmas for me. I'm very surprised this didn't break into my Top 5.
5. "Disgruntled Christmas" Local H
This is more on anti-Christmas song than anything else. With images of shooting carolers, blowing up shopping malls, and burning Christmas trees, and a host of other ideas that everyone can relate to. Well, ok, maybe not everyone, but this is just a great song to throw on when "the season to be jolly" makes you want to strangle an overzealous holiday shopper.
4. "Little Drummer Boy" David Bowie/Bing Crosby
A true Christmas time classic. I can't think of this song without visualizing the video that went along with it, where Bowie makes himself quite comfortable in Bing's living room, while they make awkward small talk. As far as the song itself goes, the unusual pairing of Bowie and Crosby is nothing short of phenomenal.
3. "Jacks Obsession" Danny Elfman (The Nightmare Before Christmas)
Again, not a traditional Christmas song, but I think in a very subtle way, it displays the magic of Christmas through symbolism. The movie The Nightmare Before Christmas, more or less, is about discovering that Christmas is not in the presents, or the decorations, rather in the hearts of those willing to accept it. This song wraps that up in a nice little package.
2. "You're a Mean One Mr Grinch"
If you don't like this song, you are one heartless, unsentimental bastard. Like most Christmas songs, this tune opens a flood gate worth of childhood Christmas memories. Memories of not dreading the season, but rather eager anticipation. Oh, and the cartoon, was fucking genius.
1. "Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24" Trans-Siberian Orchestra
Just a kick ass song, Christmas or otherwise. This song is haunting, festive, and climatic at the same time. I know it's not Burl Ives or some other dusty old timer, but this song has something the others don't… balls.
Morgan Marx (music reviewer):
1. The Waitresses "Christmas Wrapping" – It isn't officially the Xmas season until I catch this song on the radio. Slightly sappy, kinda sardonic, it represents the "alternative" Christmas songs that stations like Boston's WFNX highlight this time of year.
2. Sufjan Stevens "Did I Make You Cry On Christmas Day? (Well, You Deserved It!)" – One of the Sufjan originals scattered among the holiday stalwarts in Steven's recently released 5-cd box set. A simple tear jerker that dwells on the darker aspects of the holidays-loneliness, regret, and squabbling. Is this guy a genius with his titles or what?
3. Mariah Carey "All I Want For Christmas Is You" – Because Xmas isn't just about indie elitism. A lesser writer would make some sort of joke about it being a "candy cane for the ear – sugary sweet and only good once a year." But I won't go there. I really like the version from the equally saccharine film "Love Actually."
4. David Bowie and Bing Crosby "Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth" – The quintessential Christmas pop song. A wonderful collaboration between two immortal voices.
5. U2 "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" – I confess, I'm not a big holiday music fan. While I fully endorse the previous four, I'm currently grasping at straws. It was either U2, or Bryan Adams singing about Rudolph. Bono wins out. But hey, did I mention Sufjan released 5 Xmas albums? That should tide you over till Arbor Day. Wait…what's that you say? Arbor Day isn't until April? Alright, how ‘bout Groundhog Day or one of those other fake holidays…I can't keep track…
Michael Melchor (music editor/reviewer/columnist/news writer, wrestling reporter Double M's Rasslin' Report, father of six):
Honorable Mentions:
Louis Armstrong & Velma Middleton - "Baby It's Cold Outside (Mulato Beat Remix)" - Found on a Holiday Remix CD last year at my local 7-11, the album had an interesting conceit and this is the track that stood out. With a bouncy beat, Middleton and the great Satchmo exchange reasons that she has to leave and Armstrong's implorations to stay. A fun song that more embodies the season rather than the holiday.
Thrice - "Carol Of The Bells" - Another recent find, Thrice takes one of my favorite standard Christmas carols, gives it just a touch of hguitar and a little reverence and you have a quietly majestic rendering. Well done, guys.
"You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch" - Gary Hoey - A guitar-drenched, swaggering portrait of instrumental Christmas villany. I'm still sad that they didn't use this for the Jim Carrey movie, but what can you do?
5. "Christmas In Hollis" - Run-DMC - Every time I hear or think of this song, I can't help but think of Die Hard. John McClane (Bruce Willis) is riding in the limo driven by young, brash Argyle (De'voreaux White), who puts on a tape with a rollicking Hip-Hop beat. McClane asks, "Do you have any Christmas music?", to which Argyle responds, "Hey, man - this is Christmas music!" At the time, I was already over traditional Christmas music (still am, for the most part) and Argyle gave Christmas music - and my perception of it - a swift kick in the ass courtesy of Run-DMC. I've been greatful ever since.
4. "The Little Drummer Boy-Peace On Earth" - Bing Crosby and David Bowie - This was history as it happenhed, pure and simple. One of the most recognizeable voices ever going the traditional route in a duet with one of the most revered creators of our generation imploring for peace. The result stands up to this day, if what my colleagues have to say is any indication.
3. "Happy Xmas-War Is Over" - John Lennon - In all the commercialization of Christmas and the rush to get that $99 laptop, Lennon lays out the reason for the season in simple, stark form just like he always does. The very first line starts off right in your face - "So this is Christmas and what have you done?" - and the rest of the song continues on to be both uplifting and mindful of those less fortunate at the same time.
2. "Seven O'Clock News/Silent Night" - Simon & Garfunkel - The most depressing Christmas song ever. While Simon and Garfunkel harmonize in their signature style in a haunting reading of "Silent Night", a news announcer can be heard behind them; softly at first, then building to equal volume. As the boys sing, the announcer gives several news reports of deaths, violence, and the Vietnam War, reminding all of us that no matter how good or bad your holiday may be, there's certainly reason to celebrate because it could be much worse.
1. "If Every Day Were Like Christmas" - Elvis Presley - I may not be the biggest Elvis fan in the world, but he got this right on. A Swirling, near-Gospel number about how wonderful this world would be if we cared as much about our fellow man every day of the year as much as we did during the holiday season. Elvis does it with more heart and sincereity than many people sing anythingL with today. Look at the world as we know it now; does the lesson have to be spelled out?
Tim O'Sullivan (sports columnist The Round Football Column, movie reviewer/columnist 411 Fact or Fiction Movies):
I love xmas songs, so thinking of five for this feature's inaugural week was no drama. However, so many xmas tracks I like missed the boat so I'll have to shell out some honourable mentions. They are:
Elton John - Step into Christmas, Slade - Merry Xmas Everybody, The Beach Boys - Little St. Nick, Stevie Wonder - What Christmas Means to Me, Bing Crosby - White Christmas, Frank Sinatra - The Christmas Waltz, Frank Sinatra - Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, Dean Martin - Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!
As for the five:
5. Greg Lake - I believe in Father Christmas
Beautifully haunting melody that rises into a classic, sing-a-long xmas song. There is no important message, but its just nice and most relevantly, Christmassy. Is that a word? Doesn't matter.
4. John Lennon - Happy Xmas (War is Over)
I prefer other songs, but along with Mr. Crosby this has got to go down as a contender for the greatest seasonal track ever. The vocals and Christmas feel of it are fantastic, but it's also Lennon's political stamp that sets it apart. Simply awesome.
3. Mariah Carey - All I want for Christmas is O'Sullivan
It's the last student Monday night at Lava and Ignite nightclub tonight before us pesky students leave uni for home, for the Christmas period, and I know this is going to be blasted out of every speaker at least seventeen times. It's fun, Mariah's vocals are at their peak and I can't fail to love it.
2. Wham - Last Christmas
Whereas the above choice is all about the fun and seeing drunk girls go mental every time it comes on in the club, this is the one for the end of the night. The biggest selling number two single of all-time, and a guilty pleasure, if society says I should feel guilty, anyway! Beer, Miseltoe and Wham......how else would you want to end an xmas party?! Girls?
1. The Pogues feat. Kirsty MaColl - Fairytale of New York
Christmas aside, this is one of my favourite tracks EVER. Screw the categories, this would sit well in any all-time list. The mix of McGowan's vocals with the lush presence of MaColl is a bizarrely perfect duet, and the melody is simply stunning. My favourite xmas song of all-time by a distance.
