411 Music Fact Or Fiction: Week 6

Posted by Mitch Michaels on 03.20.2007

Ian Wright and James Munson talk about Van Halen’s R&RHOF no-show, the new Linkin Park album, John Popper’s arsenal and more!

Welcome all to the sixth edition of the 411 Music Zone's Fact Or Fiction. Each week, two writers will be given statements regarding hot, up-to-the-minute music news and make a case as to whether that statement is fact or complete and utter bullshit (ie, fiction). And, just for the fuck of it, I'll be here to tally up how many times the writers agree. Got it?

It's a battle of the 411 Originals and The New Breed this week, as veteran news reporter and dancer about architecture-er "Indie" Ian Wright locks horns with prolific new reviewer James "The A. is for Ass Kicking" Munson in a battle of experience vs. youth.

Here we go…

1. Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony accepting Van Halen's induction into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame is probably the greatest farce in the museum's history.

James Munson: FACT. I'm sure Johnny Rotten of The Sex Pistols would argue that his band never being accepted into the Rock 'N'Roll Hall of Fame might qualify as the biggest farce, but The Sex Pistols only made one good (overrated) proper album, so there you go. While Michael Anthony did get replaced for the upcoming (or not) Van Halen reunion tour, Sammy Hagar accepting anything for the band is, in my humble opinion, sacrilegious. Sure, he fronted the group for the latter half of their career, but doing this deed sans the other band members is slightly odd and a little frustrating. Then again, it could have been Michael Anthony and Gary Cherone instead.

Iant Wright: FICTION. Honestly, who cares? Van Halen made shitty music, but if they're going to be inducted (don't get me started on the idea that the museum exists in the first place) then Hagar deserves to be there by virtue of the fact that he's not as big an asshole as Diamond Dave.

Score: Model citizen, zero (for 1) discipline

2. With Rick Rubin on board to add focus, the new Linkin Park album, Minutes To Midnight, will be as successful and sound as good as Hybrid Theory.

James Munson: FACT. I've never been a fan of Linkin Park's hybrid (pardon the pun) of nu metal, rap, and electronica. However, if they're going to try and make a huge comeback following the amount of time between Meteora and this new record, Rubin's the man to do it. Reviving Johnny Cash's career and assisting Neil Diamond with his last record, Rubin seems to be the popular go-to guy these days. One reason why this might be in vain, though: look at the last Weezer record.

Ian Wright: FACT. Wow, as successful and sound as good as Hybrid Theory? Kinda damning with faint praise there, Mitch. All that music sounds like an orang-utan bellowing to me, but Rubin is a genius producer so he might make yer man Bennington sound like a slightly higher primate screaming.

Score: And One (for 2)

3. Kelis' recent arrest for assaulting two prostitutes who were actually undercover police officers is the weirdest hip-hop/R&B related arrest story since Foxy Brown.

James Munson: FICTION. This is certainly bizarre, but I think the ongoing publicity Michael Jackson has received far out-trumps the badassery of the woman who declared, "I hate you so much right now! Ahhhh!" Apparently, converting to Islam is the new "opening a new playground at Neverland Ranch". I have no idea if Michael even believes in his decisions anymore. On the topic of Kelis, I wonder if Nas knew what he was in for when he took her hand in marriage.

Ian Wright: FICTION. I've got to agree with James here, but I do have to disagree with the person who trumps it. The upcoming Phil Spector trial is going to be completely bizarre. From the Ronettes to The Ramones to pulling a gun on Starsailor, he's repeatedly proved himself to be the craziest man in music and I expect the stuff that will come to light during the trial will be nuts.

Score: Two steps to my love, baby/Two (for 3) steps to my love

INXS says SWITCH!

4. With Rage Against The Machine, The Police, The Jesus And Mary Chain and a million other reunions on tap for this summer, no one really gives two craps about Squeeze getting back together.

Ian Wright: FACT. Actually, I don't give two craps about most of them. I think The Pixies are one of the greatest bands of all time and I've seen them twice since they got back together. I recognize Spiderland as one of the 90's seminal albums and that Slint have influenced a huge number of bands that I love. I've seen both bands live since they got back together and I've not exactly been blown away by what I've seen. Maybe it's that they've got old and they lost the fire that made them great, maybe because they're just doing it for the money, maybe it's the weight of my expectations, but I've always left slightly disappointed.

I'd still kill to see My Bloody Valentine back together though.

James Munson: FICTION. While Rage Against the Machine and The Police may be the "it" reunion groups right now, Glenn Tillbrook and Chris Difford are excellent songwriters. One listen to "Take Me I'm Yours" or "Cool for Cats" will show the strength of Squeeze's back catalogue. More people are probably excited for The Police to be touring (including myself), but I would totally take seeing Squeeze or The Jesus and Mary Chain over other newly reformed bands.

Score: And now she's two (for 4) years older/Her mother's with a soldier/She left me when my drinking/Became a proper stinging

5. Seeing Ryan Adams playing Stone Henge would be cool, but seeing The Presidents Of The United States Of America playing on top of Mount Rushmore would be cooler.

Ian Wright: FICTION. Just so long as Adams walks out and begins his set with, "In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people... the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing..." then it will be the greatest thing in the history of anything.

James Munson: FACT. Ryan Adams has a handful of great songs, but his overall "tortured genius" thing seems a bit boring to me. He has a lot of crap songs as well. The Presidents of the United States of America on the other hand, jokey as they may be, became hugely successful off of two songs called "Lump" and "Peaches". I have to give them a hand for that. If the Presidents were to play on top of Rushmore, I think this would be a great publicity stunt to start a comeback career.

Score: Ten cents up, two (for 5) bucks down

6. When the shit goes down, we should all head to John Popper's house.

Ian Wright: FICTION. The correct place to go is Willie Nelson's tour bus. Last time he got busted he had 1.5lbs of weed and 3oz. of ‘shrooms and, most importantly, no fucking guns nor was he driving a car at some stupid speed, but rather he was getting a nice mellow buzz in the back of his bus. John Popper is an amateur.

James Munson: FICTION. I don't know what the hell he was on, but apparently John Popper is cooler than I thought. Who would have imagined that the portly Amish musician at the end of the movie Kingpin would one day be caught speeding with tons of drugs and firearms in the back of his automobile. Hardcore. Plus, I would rather head to Popper's house than Michael Jackson's residence any day.

Final Score: I'll do as I'll decide and let it ride until I've died/And only then shall I abide this tide/Of catchy little tunes/Of hip three (for 6) minute ditties/I wanna bust all your balloons/I wanna burn all of your cities/To the ground…

It was a tough match this week, with James and Ian piling up their share of disagreements. Unfortunately, Munson was disqualified right off the bat for his assumption that the Sex Pistols were not in the R&R Hall Of Fame (they were inducted just last year). I was tempted to give the win to Ian, especially after his druids reference, but then his game fell apart when he said he'd rather be with Shotgun Willie than John Popper when the shit goes down. When the shit goes down, we're gonna need more than weed, Ian, and John Popper will provide. And, that makes the winner, as always, me.

Thanks to James, Ian and YOU, John Q. VanHagarSux for dropping by this week. Be on the lookout for more Music Fact Or Fiction!