Sex, News & Violins 05.23.07
Posted by Jamie Buttineau on 05.23.2007
Interpol hates gazelles, Queens Of The Stone Age like being eaten alive, Spencer Krug is a robot constantly spewing out new music and Animal Collective enjoy jam. Column don't fails me now!
Ah Heroes, thank you for having a kickass season finale. Where else can two brothers fly off into the sky together to explode after a evil man who eats brains was stabbed by a time travelling Japanese man and was hit in the face by a parking meter by a super strong soccer mom with split personalities who strips to make rent money who came to town with her ex-con husband who can phase through walls to save her son who speaks to machines after he was kidnapped by an evil shape shifting woman and Malcolm McDowell and taken to a building where a girl who finds people by thinking about them was cured by antibodies from an effeminate Indian geneticist who also protected her from an ex-cop who reads minds and a formerly evil now good man named Noah who came there to help protect his invincible daughter who had just flung herself out of a several story building in order to prevent the aforementioned explosion at the beginning of this paragraph. Ladies and gentlemen, that is some good fucking TV.
On the downside, the series finale of Veronica Mars also aired and it wasn't even a good series finale. Hell it wasn't even a serviceable one as the show ended with a pseudo-cliffhanger and now I wanna know what happens next but I can't because it's cancelled. Words cannot describe how pissed I am that The CW cancelled the only show on their network that's worth a damn. Well the good news I suppose is that now that Veronica Mars is cancelled I have no reason to ever watch The CW again. Ever. Seriously, if you watch The CW you're probably what's wrong with America. They turned Superman into a whiny bitch, they let 7th Heaven live for another season (which is ironically a crime against God), and they actually have the gall to treat looking for the next Pussycat Doll like it's something worth competing for. So farewell to thee CW, a network full of shitty teen shows, shitty reality shows and, well shit. I hope the spirit of Michigan J. Frog haunts your nightmares.
Aw I love vitriol, it makes my life complete.
Viewer Mail
This letter comes from 411mania's very own, Ian Wright:
Maybe I should take 150 weeks off and we can race to 300.
Congrats on the milestone.
Ah there's the kudos I so desperately hunger for. Thanks Ian!
This Is The Section Where I Shall Put Live Performances
I don't have a catchy title for this section yet. I probably need to watch some Strongbad cartoons for inspiration first or something.
Anyway, I originally was going to debut this new section in honour of the whole 50th column thing a ma jig. Unfortunately I couldn't find any cool live videos last week, so here it is now.
This is where the best live performances Youtube can buy will go. So anything awesome from concert footage, late night or day time TV appearances, etc. will show up here.
The Flaming Lips "She Don't Use Jelly"
From the concert DVD UFOs At The Zoo: The Legendary Concert In Oklahoma City due out on July 10.
Ah, there are few things more sublime than a Flaming Lips live performance. Giant beach balls are thrown abound, there are streamers everywhere, bubbles, disco balls, weird smoke, it's like something a stoned 8 eight year old would come up with. Not to mention the fact that the Flaming Lips are just plain awesome in every way. The upcoming concert DVD UFOs At the Zoo might be well worth the price of admission, since the ability to throw in a DVD and instantly be transported to a Flaming Lips live performance is something to be appreciated indeed.
Feist "I Feel It All"
Live on Jimmy Kimmel Live May 15, 2007
Feist on a bus! Apparently Jimmy Kimmel has started putting his musical guests on Santa Monica buses to perform in order to stand out from the rest of the late night crowd I suppose. But I like it so it must work. Feist strums on a acoustic guitar and sings in her typical beautiful voice while her band mates harmonize with her almost perfectly and some guy plays a melodica awesomely. And it all takes place on a bus, further upping the awesomeness quota.
M. Ward "Chinese Translation"
Live on Late Night With Conan O'Brien May 18, 2007 with Special Guests Neko Case and Jim Jones of My Morning Jacket
Ah, folk rock hippie jams, we don't get enough of those anymore. M. Ward invited fellow folk rockers Neko Case and Jim Jones along for this Conan O'Brien appearance. Neko doesn't really do much besides softly strum on her little harpsichord thingy and do the "awoooooo" part near the end of "Chinese Translation" but that's still enough to make it cool. It's a very relaxed performance and that actually adds to the atmosphere making the whole act very ethereal and almost zenlike, just like the song itself. Then the whole thing dissolves into a nice little hippie jam festival, which is nice. And you can always tell when Conan really liked something when he adds in that little "YEAH!" at the end of a performance.
Headlines!!
Guaranteed To Make Your Mascara Run
..Dude, Interpol are messed up. This is the cover art for their third LP Our Love To Admire which is due out July 10. It's a little on the crazy cool side. I also how they admire their love with a gazelle being mauled by lions. There's probably a clever analogy with love being compared to being ripped apart by lions but I'll let them eventually make it.
Interpol has also added more US dates to their tour because it is the US who truly love them. Especially New York where they're basically indie Gods. Sitting atop a throne in private boxes in nightclubs while trendy Suicide Girl-esque hot chicks throw themselves at their feet. Sigh, to be a kid on the scene.
Dammit Carlos D., why does the world love and admire you?! WHY?!:
05-19 Irvine, CA - Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre (KROQ Weenie Roast)
05-27 George, WA - The Gorge (Sasquatch!)
05-31 Dallas, TX - The Palladium
06-02 Atlanta, GA - HiFi Buys Amphitheatre (99X Big Day Out)
06-03 Chicago, IL - Metro
06-07 Toronto, Ontario - The Guverment
06-09 San Francisco, CA - Shoreline Amphitheatre (Live 105 BFD 07)
06-10 San Diego, CA - Devore Stadium (94/9 Independence Jam)
06-21 Dusseldorf, Germany - ISS Dome *
06-23 Scheesel, Germany - Hurricane Festival
06-24 Neuhausen ob Eck, Germany - Southside Festival
06-25 Dresden, Germany - Dresden Alter Schlachthof
06-27 Copenhagen, Denmark - Vega
06-28 Arendal, Norway - Hove Festival
06-29 Stockholm, Sweden - Accelerator
07-01 Werchter, Belgium - Rock Werchter
07-05 Lisbon, Portugal - Super Bock Super Rock
07-07 Naas, Ireland - Punchestown Racecourse (Oxegen)
07-08 Balado, Scotland - T in the Park
07-19 Rochester, NY - Harro East Ballroom
07-20 Atlantic City, NJ - Music Box @ Borgata
07-21 Norfolk, VA - Norva
07-23 Cleveland, OH - House of Blues
07-24 Pittsburgh, PA - Byham
07-25 Columbus, OH - The LC Amphitheatre
07-27 Grand Rapids, Michigan - Orbit Room
07-28 Detroit, MI - MI State
07-30 Milwaukee, WI - Rave
07-31 Indianapolis, IN - Egyptain
08-01 St. Louis, MO - Pageant
08-03 Covington, KY - Madison Theatre
08-04 Chicago, IL - Grant Park (Lollapalooza)
08-05 Baltimore, MD - Pimlico Race Course (V Festival)
08-11 Tokyo, Japan - Summersonic Festival
08-12 Osaka, Japan - Summersonic Festival
08-24 Reading, England - Reading Festival
08-25 Leeds, England - Leeds England
09-08-09 Montreal, Quebec Osheaga Music and Arts Festival
* with Pearl Jam
Get Ready To Rock Croatia!
The Queens Of The Stone Age are set to release their next album Era Vulgaris on June 12 and in celebration of that fact they've announced more North American dates and dates elsewhere for their tour itinerary. They also have cover art, behold!:
Huh, compared to other QOTSA album covers this isn't as dark and foreboding. It's more like a 50's era comic like Richie Rich only drawn by someone very high.
Sick Sick Sick Tour Dates:
06-07 Fresno, CA - Fresno Fair Grounds (KFRR's Birthday Bash)
06-08 Ventura, CA - Ventura County Fairgrounds at Seaside Park (KJEE's Seaside Beach Ball)
06-09 Mountain View, CA - Shoreline Amphitheater (Live 105's BFD)
06-14 London, England - Hyde Park (Wireless Festival)
06-15 Leeds, England - Harewood House (Wireless Festival)
06-16 Interlaken, Sweden - Greenfield Festival
06-18 Milan, Italy - Alcatraz
06-19 Vienna, Austria - Vienna Arena
06-20 Zagreb, Croatia - Radar Festival
06-24 Luxembourg, Luxembourg - Rock a Field Festival
06-26 Arendal, Norway - Hove Festival
06-28 Cologne, Germany - E-Werk
06-29 Werchter, Belgium - Rock Werchter Festival
06-30 Belfort, France - Eurockéennes
07-01 Paris, France - Furia Sound
07-04 Berlin, Germany - Columbiahalle
07-06 Roskilde, Denmark - Roskilde Festival
07-07 Naas, Ireland - Oxegen Festival
07-08 Balado, Scotland - T in the Park
07-22 Costa Mesa, CA - Pacific Amphitheater (Orange County Fair)
08-04 Indianapolis, IN - Murat Egyptian Room
09-16 Austin, TX - Austin City Limits Festival
The Krug Continues To Chug Along
Spencer Krug is an unstoppable machine of indie rockery. Fresh off releasing a new Frog Eyes album, and working on a new Wolf Parade album, he's putting together the second Sunset Rubdown LP since last year's Shut Up I Am Dreaming. Jesus Christ Spence, take a breather! I can't handle all this yelpy indie pop rock being thrown at my face! It's like being in an out of control batting cage, only the balls are indie rock albums and the bat is my ears and the helmet is, headphones I guess, and the cage is ..I need to work on this analogy.
The new Sunset Rubdown album is called Random Spirit Lover and is due out sometime in October. I have a tracklist, would you like to look at it? Yes you would:
Random Spirit Lover Tracklist:
01 The Mending of the Gown
02 Magic vs. Midas
03 Up on Your Leopard, Upon the End of Your Feral Days
04 The Courtesan Has Sung
05 Winged/Wicked Things
06 Colt Stands Up, Grows Horns
07 Stallion
08 For the Pier (and Dead Shimmering)
09 The Taming of the Hands That Came Back to Life
10 Setting vs. Rising
11 Trumpet, Trumpet, Toot! Toot!
12 Child-Heart Losers
Ian Also Talked About This Story As Well
You know I always had assumed that Animal Collective were a gaggle of experimental musicians from Sweden or Switzerland or The Netherlands or some other European country where they smoke pot and make cuckoo clocks. But apparently they're from New York, New York, where I'm pretty sure they also smoke pot and make cuckoo clocks so maybe it all works out in the end.
The band will releasing their first album since 2005's Feels which will be entitled Strawberry Jam. Feels took a little while to grow on me but eventually I grew to quite like it. I also enjoyed the album released by Panda Bear this year, who are actually members of Animal Collective. Oh how I love these super indie bands that are just conglomerations of smaller indie bands. It's like an indie band katamari.
Strawberry Jam tracklist:
01 Peacebone
02 Unsolved Mysteries
03 Chores
04 For Reverend Green
05 Fireworks
06 #1
07 Winter Wonder Land
08 Cuckoo Cuckoo
09 Derek
"#1" is song #6? That's lunacy! And here are the tour dates for Animal Collective's latest tour:
05-22 Salt Lake City, UT - In the Venue #
05-24 Albuquerque, NM - Launchpad #
05-25 Marfa, TX - The Marfa Ballroom #
05-26 Dallas, TX - The Granada Theater #
05-27 Austin, TX - Antone's #
05-28 Birmingham, AL - Bottletree #
05-29 Knoxville, TN - Bijou Theatre #
05-30 Charlottesville, VA - Satellite Ballroom #
06-01 New York, NY - South Street Seaport (Seaport Music Festival) *
07-11 London, England - The Coronet ^
07-13 Brussels, Belgium - Recyclart
07-15 Groningen, Netherlands - Vera
07-16 Nijmegen, Netherlands - Valkhof
07-17 Paris, France - La Maroquinerie
07-18 Paris, France - La Maroquinerie
07-21 Angouleme, France - Garden NEF Party
07-22 Valencia, Spain - Benicàssim Festival
07-25 Venice, Italy - Marcon Festival
07-26 Milan, Italy - Magnolia Festival
07-27 Marseille, France - Midi Festival
07-28 Laval, France - Festival des Trois Éléphants
07-29 Vienna, Austria - Arena
# with Sir Richard Bishop
* with Danielson
^ with Marnie Stern
RAPIDFIRE NEWS SMARTASSERY!!
On the heels of all the crazy talk about Al Sharpton and Russell Simmons banning offensive lyrics towards females in hip hop, Master P has created a new record label with 100% clean lyrics with his son Romeo. So there's another expensive toy for his son to play with. Damn super rich Master P. The label is called Take A Stand and its first album will be a collaboration between Master P and Romeo. Aww, that will be a nice father and son bonding activity. Maybe afterwards they can have a family driveby.
Personally I think that whole 100% clean lyrics thing will go down the tubes once rappers start trying to write new lyrics: "So I shot him in the face/And tossed him in a ditch/Then I went down to his place/And got busy with his bit-I mean Life partner who is a woman of good morals and values who should treated with respect and dignity."
It just isn't as catchy.
Elijah Wood will play Iggy Pop in a biopic about his early days with the Stooges. Hmm, a role where you get to play a heroin addicted punk rock superstar who doesn't wear a shirt, has a huge Johnson and fucks groupies without a care in the world. If Iggy dies before this movie hits theatres I smell an Oscar.
ZZ Top recently had to cancel their European tour because Dusty Hill has some kind of earache. Oh come on, you're ZZ Top. An earache isn't supposed to stop you guys. You piss Jack Daniels and use women like tissues. There is only excuse for cancellation I will accept from ZZ Top that is irreparable beard damage. Because that would not only be an injury, it would be a national tragedy.
Method Man was arrested this week for possession of marijuana. Gee whiz, you mean the star of How High smokes pot? Well that's some nice police work there Lou.
Madonna released a new song for the Live Earth awareness campaign. The song is called "Hey You". So, basically their whole plan for this campaign is to shout out "hey you!" Now THAT'S how you build awareness!
Pete Doherty blah blah blah sold paintings he painted with his own blood blah blah blah druggycakes. Man there's a lot of drug references this week.
Scott Strapp was arrested for assault in Florida this week. Ah, ever since Creed thankfully died it's just been one career destroying mishap after another for Mr. Strapp. For the head of a Christian rock band, he sure isn't acting very Christiany.
I'm still pissed Melinda Doolittle didn't win American Idol. And you know why she didn't win? Because people who watch The CW all voted for Jordin Sparks. THE CW WILL RUIN AMERICA!! DAMMIT PEOPLE WRITE YOUR CONGRESSMEN!!
Bo Diddley had a stroke, but apparently he'll be ok .Oh, you just can't do a Bo Diddley news story without doing it to the tune of Bo Diddley's seminal 1955 classic "Hey Bo Diddley!". Hit it! Oh ol' Bo Diddley had a stroke, danka danka dank, dank dank, but don't worry he'll be fine folks, danka danka dank, dank dank, heeeeeeey Bo Diddley, danka danka dank, dank dank, heeeeeeeey Bo Diddley, danka danka dank, dank dank. Ah, that's some good danking.
Beyonce leads the field at the BET Awards for most nominations with 6. So, hey that surely makes up the complete and utter lack of recognition at the Oscars right?...Yeah I didn't think so.
David Bowie and Sting are opening a burlesque club together. Yeah, try topping the awesomeness of that.
Billboard Top 20
1. Michael Buble, Call Me Irresponsible Dammit I hate it when boring inoffensive albums make the top of the list. How am I supposed to get infuriated when the album itself is nothing to get even upset about? HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET ANGRY OVER SOMETHING THAT ISN'T ANGER INDUCING?!!! DAMMIT!!!! AAAAAAARGH!!!!
2. Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, Strength & Loyalty Ooooo I bet someone was shot during the making of this one.
3. Bobby Valentino, Special Occasion Jeez, where'd you get your name, the 1950s? You sound like a member of the original line up of The Four Tops.
4. Ne-Yo, Because Of You - .Hmmm, I should lots of stuff to make fun of Ne-Yo yet nothing comes to mind. Hmm .Well he wears a stupid hat. I guess there's that.
5. Avril Lavigne, The Best Damn Thing Ah finally, someone with so much to hate about her that it's almost too easy to insult her for anything. Get divorced already! We get it, you're married, no one really buys it anyway so just give it up. Also, you're stupid! And a drunkard! And a poser! And you look like some kind of mildly attractive rodent! YOU SUCK! Ahhhhh, man that feels good. It's like dipping yourself into a hot tub filled with hate.
6. Daughtry, Daughtry Waahhhhh my life is soooo hard, I have to play so many shows and be rich and faaaaaamous. Oh woe is me. Jackass.
7. Barbra Streisand, Live In Concert 2006 Proving that one of the biggest untapped demographic markets out there is the old Jewish women and drag queen contingent.
8. Carrie Underwood, Some Hearts Still pissed about Melinda Doolittle. Fucking CW.
9. Bjork, Volta Man, appearing on SNL really does guarantee record sales. Lorne Michaels runs the world doesn't he?
10. Various Artists, NOW 24 Well at least NOW 26 might have "Earth Intruders" on it. How weird would it be to have Bjork on a NOW compilation? Now that is cognitive dissonance.
11. Tim McGraw, Let It Go NON!
12. Akon, Konvicted I heard Gwen Stefani blocked you on her AIM list. Dude, you are so in troooooouble.
13. Martina McBride, Waking Up Laughing Martina, you have something in your brain. Please, let us do the x-rays. You have a serious illness and if it isn't treated soon there may be dire consequences.
14. Amy Winehouse, Back To Black She's sad, soulful AND British. That's a combo you don't see very often.
15. Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift Can I use him to clean the dust on my floors and household appliances?
16. Robin Thicke, The Evolution Of Robin Thicke I just realized that this is the guy who did that "When I Get You Alone" song. That songs raped Beethoven's Fifth Symphony! And it raped Walter Murphy's "A Fifth Of Beethoven"! Robin Thicke is a double raper!
17. Nickelback, All The Right Reasons Yeah? What was the right reason for starting up that club fight Chad? I didn't know being a douche was a right reason. Ooooo, burn.
18. Fergie, The Dutchess Go back to the dark hole from whence ye climbed out from she-beast!
19. Justin Timberlake, Futuresex/Lovesounds There are so many of these albums that I'm pretty sure they could fill the Grand Canyon.
20. Rush, Snakes & Arrows People got their fill of Rush and now they're full. That's too bad.
Important New Releases Of The Week According To Me
This is of course the album that Ian Wright has been declaring the greatest thing since modern man invented the technology needed for sliced bread. I just got the thing today so I can't say whether or not I love it I love it I super love it, but I'm loving it at the moment. It's very gloomy, very melancholy, I'll go as far as to say it may out gloom Interpol. It's certainly as heavy on the rocking as Alligator but that's not a bad thing. The album is affectionately referred to by Pitchfork as a "grower" and I think that's an accurate statement as this album will take a few listens to grow on me.
The Greatest Video Ever Made Of The Week
Queens Of The Stone Age, "Sick Sick Sick"
From the upcoming album Era Vulgaris, 2007
Cannibalism, it's a topic I don't feel is addressed enough in modern music videos. Thankfully Josh Homme and the gang took the time to correct that oversight with the video for the first single off of Era Vulgaris. In this video, a disturbingly creepy woman orders a cook to chop up and cook the members of QOTSA into delicious entrees. And meanwhile the members of the group jam until their imminent foray into cuisine. Ah, fried Josh Homme, just like mother used to make.
Support The Municipality
Ian Wright orders you to buy The National's new album or perish in the fires of his eternal hatred. Worked for me.
IT'S OVER
And once again we are done. See ya next week kiddos!
