411 Music Fact Or Fiction: Week 17

Posted by Mitch Michaels on 06.19.2007

Mikey MiGo and Jesse Coy talk about the possible Tool movie, the Rage Against The Machine mystery, Akon’s big throw and more!!!

Welcome all to the seventeenth edition of the 411 Music Zone's Fact Or Fiction. Each week, two writers will be given statements regarding hot, up-to-the-minute music news and make a case as to whether that statement is fact or complete and utter bullshit (ie, fiction). And, just for the fuck of it, I'll be here to tally up how many times the writers agree. Got it?

This week, music reviewer and tamer of the Savage Animal, Mikey "Mouth Of The Lion" MiGo takes on music reviewer and dweller of the Padded Cell, "Jammin'" Jesse Coy.

Here we go…

1. The countdown clock on Rage Against The Machine's new website is counting down to a new studio album release date.

Mikey MiGo: FICTION. The countdown on the new site that I have short term excitement for is the one that leads up to the August 24th concert at Alpine Valley in Wisconsin. I am a Midwesterner and I'm giddy to be able to go to that show. I think the long term countdown could be a few different things. It could be A.) The announcement of a new live album, which has been tossed around, but that's not "big" enough for a countdown. B.) The announcement of the official reunion, maybe with a full tour to support that, and then they'll go in the studio to work on their first album in years. Either way, I'm going to Alpine Valley! Ha!

Jesse Coy: FICTION. I suppose I can make up a silly answer here, but the fact of the matter is, I happen to be a little in the know on this one. I probably shouldn't be going into it, but you've really forced me between a rock and a hard place here. This is actually a countdown to a U.S. insurrection, spearheaded by Rage Against the Machine. They already have the new government staffed, and actually aren't giving themselves roles in this government. Secretary of State? Mike Patton. Secretary of Defense? Mojo Nixon. Drug Czar? Oderus Urungus. Vice-President? Jello Biafra. President? Flavor Flav.

Score: Fuck that shit, cuz I ain't tha one (for 1)/For a punk mutha fucka with a badge and a gun

2. There was nothing wrong with Akon throwing that kid off the stage.

Mikey MiGo: FACT. I've been to many concerts and have seen many people thrown off the stage. You get close to a performer and either they will push you off the stage or the brute security guards will without hesitation. The problem with Akon's situation is how he went about it. First, he called the heckler on stage himself. The preppy looking loser didn't just go up there on his own, but was called up there. Secondly, he used a fucking "FU" to toss him off! C'mon! A power bomb or a Razor's Edge would have been much cooler. All the madness and attention that Akon concerts are gaining is doing more good for him than bad. More people know who he is now and more people are going to want to go to the shows to see what antics he'll pull out of his ass next.

Jesse Coy: FICTION. When I heard about this, I was appalled. I think it's an indication of laziness and lack of initiative in our society today. For more velocity and distance, Akon could have at least used a catapult. Gwar proved that such a device (they called it a "crap-a-pult" when they used it) is not something to be disdained. If Akon had any heart and soul, he would have certainly chosen a cannon. You can launch someone out of an arena with that. I wasn't performing a concert, per se, but I have tested this on a few less than willing people, and it works.

Score: Shady, Convict, Upfront, Akon, Slim Shady/I see the one (for 2), because she be that lady! Hey!

3. Now that Farm Aid is purely an "awareness" event and is being held in major cities, its actual benefit to family-owned farms is questionable.

Mikey MiGo: FACT. Living in Indiana you see a lot of farmland. I don't know their finances, but their crops look fine and plentiful. No offense to farmers, but a "Farm Aid" is probably the least of our society's worries. All the same, Farm Aid is nothing more than a group of pretentious performers looking to appear as if they really "care". Since it's only an "awareness" event I think people should be "aware" that, according to the 2002 Census Bureau data, the average farm household income was $8,000 greater than the average for non-farm. I think we're already "aware" that these musicians are millionaires. Why not have a big pretentious "awareness" event for something like cancer, the decline of public schools, or even internet music journalists.

Jesse Coy: FICTION. The board of directors still includes founders Willie Nelson, John Mellencamp, and Neil Young? When I think sellout, those names just don't pop up in my head. I inherently trust them. Hey, Willie… start selling even more of that gas of yours. No, you sick monkeys out there, I'm not talking about the gas he gets on a bad taco night! Sheesh!

Score: Once is enough/It's one (for 3) time too many

INXS says SWITCH!

4. There's nothing revolutionary about Bon Jovi bundling their new album with concert tickets on Ticketmaster.com.

Jesse Coy: FACT. Bon Jovi is as revolutionary as spam on a Sunday. Wait, spam on Sunday might be a little revolutionary. Let's just say that anything attached to Bon Jovi is not going to be revolutionary enough to overthrow a Central American dictatorship. No - on a revolutionary seismograph, this really doesn't register at all. It's anti-revolutionary, actually, or corporate music industry conventional. Bundling a tour with a digital iTunes album? Digital iTunes albums? The industry wants us to buy that? What the hell is that? The day when CD hard copies go away is the day I save lots of dough, because I ain't buying into that format.

Mikey MiGo: FACT. I have to disagree with you Jesse. Bon Jovi completely revolutionized denim and bad perms. The older stuff like "You Give Love A Bad Name" and "Wanted Dead or Alive" are classics despite me not giving two shits about the band. You hear them, you enjoy them, and you regret knowing every word. Packaging the CD with tickets is all about getting a bigger Billboard Chart ranking. Prince did it with his last album and even Sevendust did it with theirs. It's a smooth marketing move to make it appear as if you sold more units, when in fact your local used CD shop is just going to have a surplus of these "gems" in a matter of weeks (Ed. Note: God bless those mom and pop digital music stores). They've gone all country, so who really cares anyways. They basically have to give it away for people to reluctantly take it.

Score: That's just one side of the story/In this two (for 4) story town

5. Marilyn Manson's days as a major chart presence are behind them.

Jesse Coy: FACT. There may be a very short blip or bounce somewhere down the road, but I'd agree with this one. Manson's still trying, though, throwing out some disgruntled remarks, perhaps missing the spotlight. Why sling jibes at Chemical Romance? They're calling those guys goth rock? I heard one of their radio tracks and thought it was awful. All Marilyn needs to do is sit back, chill out, make new tunes, and not worry about being a major chart presence. A lot of good music comes out of bands at this stage, even if it's not a top ten hit. You'll still pack them in at mid-sized venues.

Mikey MiGo: FICTION. Manson hasn't put out an album in a few years and has fallen off the mainstream radar. He has movies coming out, he's working on some pretty decent paintings, and he's got the personality that draws a key demographic to him. People said that after Trent Reznor released With Teeth that NIN was on a downward spiral (pun not really intended, but let's roll with it) and then he came back with Year Zero and rocked the house. Manson will most likely do the same. Eat Me, Drink Me is a let down, but there are a few tracks on it that leave hope for the future. Manson has taken shots at so many people throughout his career that the My Chemical Romance feud is pointless to debate. With a good producer and a well planned release date he can EASILY have another number one album. I've always been a fan of his work. He's not one my favorites, but I look forward to seeing him in August for the first time in one of Chicago's biggest arenas, The Allstate Arena. Not too shabby considering last year's Wrestlemania was held there.

Score: I'll be your scapegoat, I'll be your saviour/I'm the better of two (for 5) evils

6. A Tool movie would be seriously fucked up in a cool way.

Jesse Coy: FACT. It's entirely true. My guess is that it would be even trippier than their promo videos. I love surrealism, so those videos are immense favorites of mine. Too bad MTV started sucking wind and pumping out one crap show after another instead of playing music videos at a time when a band with extremely innovative videos came along. I just wish they'd issue all their videos on one DVD. In the meantime, if you want to see a wickedly messed up band movie, hunt down the Monkees' Head. I just saw that a couple weeks ago, and it's incredible. Filmed in 1967? Hell, it's like putting pre-Dark Side of the Moon Pink Floyd and Monty Python into a blender (before there was a Monty Python).

Mikey MiGo: FACT. Did you really need to use the "MTV doesn't play music videos anymore" shtick? I think the "MTV doesn't play music videos anymore" complaints are more redundant now than MTV not actually playing music videos. It's been that way for around ten years now and should just be accepted as reality now. If you want videos, watch FUSE, On Demand, or YouTube. As for the Tool movie and past videos, Adam Jones is the shit. His work in Tool as a member and as a visual genius is a huge influence on my own art. A full length movie might be a bit too much, but I can totally go for an hour or so of a featurette. Maybe just record a normal hour or so long album and make it into a feature like The Wall (minus a disc). I gotta give HUGE props on the Monkees' Head reference. Little do many people know that Jack Nicholson actually directed that mind fuck of a movie. They were dandruff, that in itself says a lot about the very underrated group that was The Monkees.

Final Score: She discovered three new ways that she could help the dead/Sometime she must raise her hand to tell you what she said/Then standing in a landslide she suddenly becomes/A girl that's named St. Matthew, when she is on the run.

Whoa. Does Jesse have overthrowing the government on the brain? He mentioned it not once, but twice! For these treasonous intentions, the patriot in me must disqualify his answers, despite an awesome Gwar reference. And then Mikey, who gained some major points by dissing the dissing of MTV, had to fuck it all up by referring to both Marilyn Manson AND Bon Jovi as people and not bands (I fixed it in editing). The former is acceptable, the latter is just un-fucking-forgivable. That leaves only one possible winner. Mitch Michaels! 17-0!

Thanks to Mikey, Jesse and YOU, John Q. ShotToTheHeartIsMyFavBonJoviSong for dropping by this week. Be on the lookout for more Music Fact Or Fiction!