Sex, News & Violins 06.27.07
Posted by Jamie Buttineau on 06.27.2007
Old goths who still rock at the gothing game, The Rapture rock with robots (gotta love me some alliteration), two crazy disc jockeys prepare to freak out America together, and Billy Corgan is the biggest douchebag you could probably imagine. Seriously, I friggin' despise that bald bastard.
I really need more interesting things to happen to me, I never have any entertaining life stories to tell in the introduction. Damn you cruel fate, why do you leave me such a boring mess!
Let's kick it old school on these music news punks.
Viewer Mail
This one comes from 411Music's own Ian Wright:
I hope you like that Sonic Youth record if you do pick it up.
I thought Kevin Drew was gay; I'd read before that Lover's Spit was
about the decadence in the gay scene.
I actually quite liked EVOL, a very good recommendation. I only had Sonic Nurse, and Daydream Nation before but I had meaning to delve deeper into the Sonic Youth catalogue for a while now. I'm probably going to get Goo, Murray Street or Sister sometime this week as well. Gotta love me some noise rock.
Strangely enough, while looking for Sonic Youth albums I ended up grabbing nearly the entire Beastie Boys' discography. I have no idea what compelled me to do so, but Licensed To Ill, Paul's Boutique, Ill Communication and Check Your Head are now all in my possession. I guess it's my own personal protest against their new instrumental album, which no one wants because nobody listens to the Beastie Boys for instrumentation. Although I have to say, Hello Nasty is vastly underrated in comparison to the rest of their albums. I love Hello Nasty.
As for the sexual orientation of Kevin Drew, keep in mind that was information from a Wikipedia page. Not always the best source when it comes to gossip. So until I see Feist proclaiming her love for Kevin Drew on a bus while the two share a melodica, I'm remaining skeptical at best.
This next letter comes from James G., although I'm not sure if I'm supposed to even admit that I received it since the email came with a legal warning for some reason. But since the email itself has the words "Tommy Chong" in it, I doubt it's very highly classified:
Always enjoy the read. You may have done this already, but play the Kanye track and Tommy Chong clip at the same time. I may have been really tired but they seemed to go together.
Hmm, interesting. I had not thought of that. I don't know how well those two videos synch up together. Well viewing public, judge for ye self:
We might have a new The Wizard Of Oz/Dark Side Of The Moon on our hands here.
Coming To You Live From A Series Of Tubes
The Wrong Trousers, "Video Killed The Radio Star" (Buggles Cover)
Band geeks, without them we probably wouldn't a lot of the music we have today. The band geek is an essential part of the musical industry, these nerds play the instruments that no normal or cool kid would want to play, like a mandolin or a harp. And it is ironic that playing these incredibly lame, uncool instruments is in fact what makes some of these band geeks cool. As is the case in this video right here. These kids are the epitome of band geeks, if they were any geekier they would have pocket protectors and ham radios. The Wrong Trousers are a group of high school students who play the mandolin, the harp and the stand up bass. And apparently they specialize in taking old 80's songs and doing purely string versions of them. It's catchy, it's amusing, and they probably got extra credit for their music classes. So everyone's a winner.
Beastie Boys, "Intergalactic" & "Sabotage"
Live from Glascow, 1998
Along with The Pixies, the Beastie Boys are another group that rarely disappoint live. They dress up, they do wacky hand gestures, and since they're just three guys from Joisey with nasally voices they usually sound exactly like their CDs. This is from a performance somewhere in Glascow, and it's pretty badass. "Intergalactic" is pretty much perfectly performed, and "Sabotage" is almost even better. And the best part? No lameass instrumental tunes. Remember that Ad Rock!
Headlines!!
If You Hurry You Can Get Seats Close Enough For Robert Smith's Mascara To Drip On You
Ah Robert Smith, middle aged and still gothing it up. Gotta love the sadsack son of a bitch.
The Cure will be touring the world, because it is indeed the 80's all over again. Seriously, Flock Of Seagulls, if there was ever a time for you to make a comeback, now would be it.
The goth kings will also be soon starting work on their 13th album, which might be good. Hey their last album was ok, so they may buck the trend of shitty reunion albums from reunited bands. Plus Robert Smith can turn into a giant robotic butterfly, so that will probably help in the recording studio. Somehow. Anyway, grab your black eyeliner, I got tour dates.
Black fingernail polish for everyone!:
07-27 Fuji, Japan - Fuji Rock Festival
07-30 Hong Kong, China - Asia World Arena
08-01 Singapore, Singapore - Singapore Indoor Stadium
08-04 Perth, Australia - Challenge Stadium
08-06 Adelaide, Australia - Entertainment Centre
08-08 Brisbane, Australia - Entertainment Centre
08-10 Sydney, Australia - Entertainment Centre
08-12 Melbourne, Australia - Rod Laver Arena
09-13 Tampa, FL - St. Petersburg Times Forum *
09-15 Atlanta, GA - Gwinnett Civic Center *
09-17 Charlotte, NC - Charlotte Bobcats Arena *
09-19 Washington, DC - Patriot Center *
09-21 Philadelphia, PA - Wachovia Spectrum *
09-23 New York, NY - Madison Square Garden *
09-25 Boston, MA - Agganis Arena *
09-26 Montreal, Quebec - Bell Center *
09-27 Toronto, Ontario - Air Canada Centre *
09-29 Chicago, IL - Allstate Arena *
10-02 Denver, CO - Red Rocks Amphitheater *
10-04 Salt Lake City, UT - E Center *
10-06 Mountain View, CA - Shoreline Amphitheater (Download Festival) *
10-08 Seattle, WA - Key Arena *
10-09 Vancouver, British Columbia - General Motors Place *
10-11 Santa Barbara, CA - Santa Barbara Bowl *
10-13 San Diego, CA - Cox Arena *
10-14 Los Angeles, CA - Hollywood Bowl *
10-16 Houston, TX - Toyota Center *
10-17 Dallas, TX - American Airlines Center *
* with 65daysofstatic
Finally An Apocalypse You Can Dance To
The Rapture has added some more tour dates, because dance rock is something you can never get enough of. It's just good stuff. The band also still has some dates with Daft Punk coming up, and if you can't dance at a Rapture/Daft Punk concert, then you sir or madam cannot dance. Period.
Yippee!:
06-28 Moscow, Russia - B1 Maximum Club
06-30 Istanbul, Turkey - Solar Beach Festival
07-04 Lisbon, Portugal - Superbock Super Rock
07-07 Montendre, France - Free Music Festival
07-08 Maubeuge, France - Les Ramparts
07-09 Frankfurt, Germany - Mousonturm
07-12 Amsterdam, Netherlands - Melkweg
07-13 Dour, Belgium - Dour Festival
07-14 Glasgow, Scotland - Indian Summer Festival
07-15 Suffolk, England - Latitude Festival
07-17 Njimegen, Netherlands - Valkhof Affaire Festival
07-18 Zurich, Switzerland - Moods Theatre at Schiffbau
07-20 Benicassim, Spain - Benicassim Festival
07-21 Dublin, Ireland - Lovebox Festival
07-22 London, England - Lovebox Festival
07-25 Los Angeles, CA - Mayan Theatre
07-26 Los Angeles, CA - Mayan Theatre
07-27 Berkeley, CA - Greek Theatre *
07-29 Seattle, WA - WAMU Center *
07-31 Denver, CO - Red Rocks *
08-03 Chicago, IL - Grant Park (Lollapalooza)
08-05 Toronto, Ontario - Arrow Hall *
08-07 Montreal, Quebec - Bell Center *
08-09 New York, NY - Keyspan Park *
* with Daft Punk
Do Not Take LSD On This Tour. Your Mind Will Melt
DJ superstars Dan Deacon and Girl Talk are teaming up for a tour of mashups and weird ass music. This is a pairing so perfect and yet so bizarre. Which makes it even more perfect. Something tells me that a lot of people will experience blown minds. The two also have pretty busy schedules on their own as well. So here's the dates for the two touring together:
Beware the insanity that lies within:
07-14 Chicago, IL - Union Park (Pitchfork Music Festival) *
08-04 Baltimore, MD - Pimlico Race Course (Virgin Festival)
09-12 Toronto, Ontario - Phoenix
09-15 New York, NY Webster Hall
09-17 Philadelphia, PA - First Unitarian Church
09-20 Charlottesville, VA - Satellite Ballroom
09-21 Asheville, NC - Orange Peel
09-22 Atlanta, GA - MJQ Concourse
09-27 San Diego, CA - Epicentre
09-28 Los Angeles, CA - Echoplex
09-29 San Francisco, CA - The Fillmore Auditorium
* with Yoko Ono, Cat Power and Dirty Delta Blues, Clipse, Mastodon, Iron and Wine, Grizzly Bear, Voxtrot, Battles, Califone, the Twilight Sad, Fujiya & Miyagi, Oxford Collapse, Beach House, William Parker Quartet, Professor Murder, Ken Vandermark's Powerhouse Sound
Now here's Girl Talk's solo dates:
06-28 Winnipeg, Manitoba - Pyramid Cabaret (2007 Cool Jazz Winnipeg Festival)
06-29 Ottawa, Ontario - Babylon (Capital Idea! Festival) !
06-30 Montreal, Quebec - Club Soda #
07-04 Morrison, CO - Red Rocks ?
07-18 Boston, MA - Bank of America Pavilion +
07-27 Seattle, WA - Capitol Hill Block Party
07-28 Louisville, KY - Forecastle Festival
08-09 Indianapolis, IN - Talbott Street
08-10 Baton Rouge, LA - Spanish Moon
08-11 New Orleans, LA - One Eyed Jacks
08-24 Tulsa, OK - Cain's Ballroom
09-08 Portland, OR - Roseland Theater $
10-04 Lawrence, KS - Granada Theatre
10-05 Minneapolis, MN - First Avenue
10-06 Iowa City, IA - The Picador
10-11 Calgary, Alberta - The Warehouse
10-12 Edmonton, Alberta - The Starlite Room
11-01 Houston, TX - Engine Room
11-02 Dallas, TX - Palladium Loft
12-08 Rennes, France - Festival Transmusicales
! with Crystal Castles, Jokers of the Scene
# with Ghislain Poirier
? with Violent Femmes, Blues Traveler
$ with Clipse
+ with Widespread Panic
Hey, the Violent Femmes, I didn't even know they were still around. Nice. And finally, Mr. Dan Deacon all by his lonesome:
06-20 Oakland, CA - 21 Grand ^
06-21 Sacramento, CA - Fools Foundation #
06-22 Portland, OR - Holocene #
06-23 Seattle, WA - Wildrose Beer Garden
06-23 Seattle, WA - Healthy Times (late show)
06-24 Missoula, MT - Higgins Hall #
06-25 Whitefish, MT - Grouse Mountain Lodge #
06-26 Boise, ID - Neurolux #
06-27 Salt Lake City, UT - Urban Lounge #
06-28 Denver, CO - Hi-Dive #
06-29 Lawrence, KS - The Jackpot Saloon #
06-30 Omaha, NE - Waiting Room #
07-02 Minneapolis, MN - Triple Rock Social Club #$
07-03 Milwaukee, WI - Cactus Club #
07-05 Dekalb, IL - The House Cafe #
07-06 Kalamazoo, MI - Diamond Star House #
07-07 Detroit, MI - Scrummage University #%
07-08 Brooklyn, NY - McCarren Pool ~
07-12 Cambridge, MA - Middle East Upstairs #&
07-21 Baltimore, MD - Whartscape Festival
^ with Jana Hunter, Michael Leviton
# with Video Hippos
$ with Nomo
% with Benny Stoofy
~ with the Octopus Project, Erase Errata
& with Big Digits
Let It Be Known That I've Been Calling Billy Corgan A Douchebag From Day One
Oh man, you just don't piss off indie fans. Regular fans might get mad, but indie fans will tear you to pieces, then set those pieces on fire and then throw those burned pieces at cop cars. Indie fans do not like being fucked with. You see, Mistah Corgan recently reunited his most popular band, the Smashing Pumpkins. And when I say reunited I mean he got the drummer back and then hired two other guys.
Anyway, his newest album, or excuse me, the "Smashing Pumpkins"' newest album Zeitgeist is coming out soon. Now it may be good, or it may be bad (in all likelihood it will be bad). However, because Billy Corgan loves his fans so much, the album will have lots of bonus tracks for you to listen to.
Of course in order to listen to all of those bonus tracks you'll have to buy all FOUR DIFFERENT VERSION OF THE SAME DAMN ALBUM! That's right, Baldy is releasing four different versions of Zeitgeist, one for Target, one for Best Buy, one for iTunes and one for everybody else. And if you want to experience all of Master Artist Corgan's oh so magnificent works, then you gotta buy all four versions. It's what people in the art scene like to call, "the royal fuck you".
And that's why Billy Corgan just lost his fanbase. You see, I've known that Lil' Nosferatu was a grand ol' douchebag from day one. Whether it was his primadonna attitude while part of the original and actual Smashing Pumpkins, his pathetic band Zwan, or his pretentious, horrible, ri-goddamn-diculous poetry book Blinking With Fists I've known that Billy Corgan sucked and sucked hard.
Oh and normally I put book titles in italics, but Blinking With Fists is not a book title, it is an abomination. Now if he was trying to be funny with a retarded name then I'd accept it. But you know what, Billy Corgan has no time to be funny, for he is an "ar-teest." There's no self-awareness, there's no in joke, there's no satirical statement to made. This dude shaves his head, then pours white powder on his head, then dresses up in black, and writes poetry books about blinking fists and he does it without a shred of irony. Don't believe me? I give you my latest photographic exhibit:
Ladies and gentlemen, Billy Corgan: A Douchebag In Motion.
Behold the way he challenges religion with his cross made of glowsticks. Scandalous!
He has opened an umbrella indoors. But there is no rain indoors! And does he not fear the bad luck that such an activity can bestow upon him?! Rebellious!
Wait a moment, no one wears hats like that in this time period! What a bucker of trends! Unique!
What is he staring at? God? The Devil? The true meaning of humanity? A shiny nickel? We may never know! Mysterious!
Look at the sadness on the face of Corgan! Feel his pain, his sorrow, and his painful sorrow! Emotional!
And finally, the piece de resistance:
This one just speaks for itself.
Seriously if you don't wanna punch this guy in the face after seeing those pictures, there is something very wrong with you.
So excelsior to you Mr. Corgan, for spitting upon the legions of fans who respect and adore you and your pretentious "art". You sir are indeed, a supreme douchebag.
Seriously people, Blinking With Fists. What a fucktard.
RAPIDFIRE NEWS SMARTASSERY!!
Paris Hilton was released from jail this week. From here she'll hit the talk show circuit, cry a lot, and people will feel sorry for her. Then she'll write a book, release another album and probably get her own daytime talk show where she teaches frumpy housewives the importance of looking hot. And the world will just keep getting dumber and dumber and dumber…
Weezer is making a new album, which I guess means that Rivers Cuomo is taking a break from his regimen of meditation and abstinence. I will admit that if you want to write songs about not getting laid and make it authentic, being abstinent is the way to do it….I'd rather just do it though.
Fergie did a free concert at the Woodbridge Center Mall on June 19th. That's right, a free concert at a mall. God I hope this is the start of a career downfall for her, but in likelihood it'd probably just inspire other singers who are just as lame to perform for free at malls. Because that's about the talent level of most pop stars today, barely good enough to see for free at a mall.
Whilst on tour, Gwen Stefani surprised fans with a reunion performance with the members of No Doubt in their hometown. Well it's a good thing the members of the band were able to make time to perform with Gwen, what with their busy schedule and all….BWAHAHAHA!! Oh man, I wonder if she paid them with table scraps from craft services?
Queen is apparently working on a new album. Wait, Freddy Mercury's alive?! It's a miracle! Oh this is the happiest day in history! I can't believe that he's risen from the grave and….Wait, what's that? He's still dead? But then, how can they make a new…Paul Rodgers is their singer now? The guy from Bad Company?...Well that's just fucking stupid.
50 Cent may star in a movie where Robert Deniro and Al Pacino play detectives. That's right, the first movie in, what, 12 years to have Deniro and Pacino together and 50 Cent may get to be in it. Well, maybe we'll get lucky and the movie will just be 2 hours of Deniro and Pacino shooting 50 Cent repeatedly. I'd watch that.
In news of musicians doing things that they shouldn't do, i.e. act, Christina Aguilera is considering making her acting debut. Well, at worst it'll be another Glitter disaster, at best we may get to see her breasts. Either way, I'm entertained.
The Spice Girls may reunite, and apparently they're being paid $20 million each to do so. They're paying the Spice Girls $100 million to reunite. They're not worth that much! You give them a fortune when they'd reunite for a month's rent and a sandwich! God, don't you record execs know how to haggle?
Also possibly considering a reunion, and I kid you not, The Squirrel Nut Zippers. That's right, the freakin' Squirrel Nut Zippers. At this point all bets are off, there isn't a band in the world right now that COULDN'T make a comeback at this point. If I hear of reunion albums by Chumbawumba, Right Said Fred, the Fabulous Thunderbirds, Yazoo, Trio, hell anybody at this point it won't shock me. There is no shocking me now! Do your worst music industry!
Recently NME said this of Interpol: They're the worst band on the planet, a tuneless, talentless shower of Joy Division copyist fuckwits. Their whining, dreary, two-note-monotone singer sounds like a cancerous baboon having his tonsils amputated and they should, by act of law, be dragged cock-first into the nearest ditch, shot in the head with a bolt gun and have their entrails fed to diseased rats. And their new album is unmitigated dogshit. They're called Interpol and may they never be mentioned in the same breath as the mighty, immaculate Editors ever again.…..Wait, the Editors, are the mighty immaculate ones and Interpol are the Joy Division copyist fuckwits? Huh…You know when you have a friend who has really bad taste in music, and you pick him up to go somewhere, and you're listening to a Pink Floyd CD in your car, and your friend says "these guys suck! Let me put on my CD of actual good music" and then he puts in Fall Out Boy and your night is ruined because you realize your friend is completely and totally lame? That friend is NME.
Seriously, Editors over Interpol? Say bye bye to credibility NME, bye bye now, bye bye.
Billboard Top 20
1. Toby Keith, Big Dog Daddy – Damn you Stephen Colbert! You can't just give anyone the Colbert bump! Take some responsibility for your actions you maniac!
2. Fabolous, From Nothin' To Somethin' – According to my spellcheck, you can't spell your own name correctly. Also, you seem to have an irrational hatred of the letter G.
3. Paul McCartney, Memory Almost Full – Well that's Alzheimer's for ya.
4. Maroon 5, It Won't Be Soon Before Long – That album title pisses me off so much I can't even bear it.
5. T-Pain, Epiphany – What the hell does the T stand for? Does it stand for anything? Explain yourself young man!
6. Linkin Park, Minutes To Midnight – If you buy this, the terrorists win.
7. Rihanna, Good Girl Gone Bad – Please, if you were a real good girl gone bad you'd be doing porn right now. Poseur.
8. DJ Khaled, We The Best – A product of our education system ladies and gentlemen.
9. Traveling Wilburys, The Traveling Wilburys Collection – Hey look, good music. Don't see that very often these days.
10. Amy Winehouse, Back To Black – I wish I had a beehive hairdo. Sigh, one day Jamie, one day.
11. R. Kelly, Double Up – Considering what you do with your urine, you should just stay at a single. You don't need more ammo.
12. Big & Rich, Between Raising Hell And Amazing Grace – All this album title does is make me think of the movie Dogma….I want a giant Buddy Christ figure dammit.
13. Daughtry, Daughtry – He kicks puppies!
14. Queens Of The Stone Age, Era Vulgaris – Buy it and let the power of rock and roll wash over you like a wave of awesome. Thank you Mr. Homme, thank you.
15. Various Artists, Instant Karma: The Amnesty International Campaign To Save Darfur – I like how they're openly admitting that they're only doing this for the karma. Greedy bastards.
16. Michael Buble, Call Me Irresposible – But don't call me late for dinner! BA DUM BUM! HA HA! Thank you, thank you, tip your waitresses, try the veal, generic night club act line, etc.
17. Enrique Iglesias, Insomniac – I wonder if he'll do another music video when he gets beat up by a biker gang in front of Jennifer Love Hewitt. That was a good time had.
18. Avril Lavigne, The Best Damn Thing – You're just encouraging her, you realize that don't you?
19. Eddie Levert Sr. and Gerald Levert, Something To Talk About – Kind of a tribute thing, so that's nice.
20. Paramore, RIOT! - …..Ok then.
Important New Releases Of The Week….According To Me
I have no idea how to make a little cross, so a lower case T should suffice. Basically the album's title is just a cross, so it's called "Cross" I guess. Stupid overcomplicated conceptual album titles. Anyway, the band is two French guys who do electronic music. And yes, I know what you're thinking, they do sound a little like Daft Punk. Well what the hell did you expect? It's French guys doing electronic music! It usually either sounds like Daft Punk or Air, that's the way it goes. Regardless the album is quite good, heavy on the rock guitar samples being manipulated into disco-esque dance music. Pretty neat. My only gripe is with the track "The Party", when some pretty shitty female "rapper" named Uffie sings some pretty irritating lyrics. The jist of which is "I want to go to a club, I wish to party, let us go and party, I am so hot, also women are awesome, yay." I dunno if she's better on her own or what, but she's pretty fucking annoying on this track. Aside from that one track, this is a pretty catchy album so if you like Daft Punk then definitely check this out.
This album is so hard to find that I almost couldn't find a link to a site where you could buy it. Hell, that's the biggest picture of the album cover I could find. Granted it's not much of an album cover so not a big deal. I've been looking for this album ever since it came out way back in February, because I always love a good shoegaze album ever since I got turned onto My Bloody Valentine and The Jesus & Mary Chain a couple of months ago. Of course this isn't quite as good as My Bloody Valentine, but that's not a slight against A Sunny Day In Glascow, because few things are. But really I quite like this album, it's very gorgeous, very dreamy and mystical and many other fantasy sounding adjectives. The band also seems to have a sense of humour about themselves, with song titles like "Panic Attacks Are What Make Me ‘Me'" and "A Mundane Phone Call To Jack Parsons". At least I think that's a sense of humour, these guys and gals might be really depressed for all I know. Hard to tell with shoegaze music. But if you like ethereal and distant sounding music, real background listening stuff, this should be right up your alley.
The Greatest Video Ever Made Of The Week
Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "Down Boy"
From the upcoming Is Is EP, 2007
This is a song that is going on to be on the band's latest EP, which is a shame because it won't be heard by a lot of people. This is a pretty great song, creepy keyboards Karen O wailing away. Everything you want from a Yeah Yeah Yeahs song. The video is actually a live performance, so I wrestled with putting it in the live section, but the camera work and such is enough to bump it up to a music video. Plus the production values of Karen O's costumes probably cost more than most music videos anyway.
Support the Municipality
Ian Wright is again on the same page as me, this time regarding the king of douchebags himself, Billy Corgan. Seriously, his middle name should just be douchebag because that's the main word that people relate the name Billy Corgan to nowadays. That and "pretentious, bald dickhead". "Twat" is quite good too.
In what looks to be an ongoing summer feature we preview the big music festivals of the summer. Mitch Michaels takes a look at The Virgin Music Festival, which looks awesome, and Dan Marsicano looks at Ozzfest, which, doesn't look that great. Although it is free so you can't really complain.
Deniz Kuypers has an interesting new column where he (or is it she? That, name is hard to decipher. Is it Deniz as in "Denis" or Deniz as in "Denise"? Damn you androgynous names!) talks about albums that the regular public don't appreciate but he/she does. I like it, although I question him/her picking Hit to Death in the Future Head as his/her favourite Flaming Lips album over Soft Bulletin or Yoshimi. But to each their own. Cool column.
Also, Mr/Mrs. Kuypers will have a rather interesting opponent in the next instalment of Fact Or Fiction. Ooooo I bet you won't be able to guess who. Go on guess, go ahead, try to guess who it is…No it's not Michael Melchior…No it's not Mikey MiGo…Stacy Trash?! Does she even work here anymore?!
Oh come on, it's me! Jesus, you suck at this game, seriously, that was some awful guessing. You need to seriously work on your guessing skills, got no game when it come to guessing. Anyway, watch out for that.
IT'S OVER!!
I am drowning in a pool of my own sweat. It is not hot, it is hell on earth. If I were sitting in a leather seat my skin would have melted in and combined with the chair. So, while I plan to jump into a lake or puddle or maybe stick my head in the sink, I say to you, goodnight…Or good morning. One of those two….Oh and afternoon. So pick whichever of those three you like. See you next week.
