Adventures in Elysian Fields: MSD's Welcome Home Party
Posted by MSD on 07.03.2007
MSD throws a 4th of July celebration of his own independence, and you're all invited. Vince, Chris, BJ, Stack Bundles and Foxy Brown's pimp all stop by for appearences. Don't be the last one to the open bar!
You know what the fuck I'mma rhyme about
21 different strains up inside the house
Spoofed in the backseat, high as phuck
go to the packey, buy it up.
* Chip Chimney
It's your main man in the Mania, back with another mind-blending booze bender of fever-inducing madness. High off the vibe of life, with a hat to match. Checkin in once more from the Massachusetts Public Library system in my further attempts to subjugate the establishment with these covert printings. Read ‘em, love ‘em, leave ‘em but never let Republicans see ‘em.
MadStepDad's WELCOME HOME PARTY
Cats don't care but my real dogs recognize. Feet in the streets, neck in the industry world trying to strategize. Ya mans is back on the grind selling legal things to businesses and drinking "Pimp Juice" on a whole new level. But more importantly, I'm back burning up your peripherals with a scorching array of sights and sounds. THIS… SHIT…IS… TRUTH.
Since I been gone ain't shit really changed. You're still here, so that's a good thing. Shout out to Melchor and the HNiC Ashish for still holding down the 411Mania fort. The muthaphuckkin MIAMI HEAT became the first NBA champions in 50 years to get swept out the first round the next year, but they were lucky Mark Cuban's DALLAS MAVERICKS eclipsed their pathetic display with an epic collapse of their own. The truth - both teams fell victim to the infamous SLAM Magazine curse. Baron Davis and his Warriors lit up school yard dreams, while my San Antonio Spurs were their usual nightmarish selves. The next big TV show debuted with DRIVE - and was then promptly cancelled. First Skin, then Justice then Drive, and now I'm having serious commitment issues with FOX. Bobby Lashley entered the realm of superhero with his man-handling of Viscera, Vince McMahon and finally John Cena - but he still couldn't win the title. Stack Bundles got killed, adding his name to the growing list of murdered rappers. Joe Lauzon represented MA with deadly efficiency on The Ultimate Fighter 5 (East Bridgewater is neighbor to Broken City aka "good ‘ol North Bridgewater") before succumbing to the Pitbull. The Ultimate Fighter Season 5 finale was one of the craziest, most exciting events in UFC history – self induced KOs, simultaneous tapouts, dislocated shoulders and a killer main event. Storylines even the WWE couldn't manufacture. Speaking of which - Vince McMahon is dead but Tony Soprano is still alive. Or is he? Oh wait, Vince is still alive. But the Canadian Strangler… well. Mainstream tragedy but I'm still struggling with loss a bit closer to home. Yet another American soldier and native Brocktonian was laid to rest (this time I'm thinking of my old school chum and fellow Class of 98'r Anthony Palermo who was blown up in Afghanistan). Rest in peace kid, only the good die young.
It is in these dire, turbulent times that the mighty MSD is needed more than ever. I'm free from my 30 day vacation (damn DUI's) and that's reason enough to celebrate. Never mind the 29 day bender that preceded my incarceration (or the 30 day binge that followed), but these are chaotic times. Chaotic enough to make you want to kiss your loved ones and celebrate life. So that's what we're going to do tonight – celebrate life. Remember the old MSD motto? "Anything for a party". I think we all need to down a bottle of Patron, reminisce and wish we weren't living so devilish. 411Music beamed the "MSD" spotlight high into the night sky and I have answered their call. Tonight "MSD" stands for "Many Smashed Drunks" getting lit up like Tony Yayo's momma house! WHAT!
THE INTRO
Deviating from my usual format I'm using this weeks space to reintroduce myself, toast my own freedom, party with my 411Mania regulars and touch on a couple of things that transpired during my brief absence. Plus I have some very very bad news for my fellow 411Music staffers at the end of this piece. Bear with me folks, this one's for the archives.
POUR A FORTY AND SPARK A BLUNT
First up peace to Army Captain Anthony Palermo. With all this other shit going on, don't forget we are still at war. And kids are still dying.
Meanwhile, Stateside – a local murder mystery. Armed intruders wearing black masks kick in an apartment door in Dorchester MA and fire a single shot. That shot pierces the abdomen of an 8 year old boy, killing him instantly. All the residents (including the dead boys mother) stick to their story – but not for long. The twist? It was the 1st Grade graduates own cousin who killed him with an illegal pistol. Now the city is all up in arms (figuratively) again about illegal gun violence in the city, and Mayor Menino is promising a crackdown. Did I mention the killer was the 1st graders own younger cousin? Yes, the 8 year old was killed by his 7 year old cousin. Lovely.
Did I ever mention that as the temperatures rise in cities across the USA, the madness levels increase as well? Well the summer of 2007 promises to be no different. Cape Verdean gang violence is raging out of control, and as the Brockton Fair welcomes all the murderers and rapists down from Dorchester and Boston, one can only hold their breath and wait for the inevitable roadside memorials to spring up like weeds. If I only had AC, I'd stay inside and play RAVENLOFT all summer, pausing only to sip on Long Island Ice Teas and count the gunshots from my bedroom window. But alas I don't, so everyday I pray to avoid a stray.
What kind of party would this be if I kept dwelling on the negative? But without the dark side one cannot truly enjoy the light. So let's count our blessings, shall we?
We still have our wonderful world of testosterone-driven fantasy in the WWE! Wow, how about that Vince McMahon murder mystery! What a shocking conclusion to an otherwise mundane WWE Draft! Honestly (and I say this without a hint of sarcasm) I loved this storyline. The "Vince McMahon Appreciation Night" was made complete buy a dozen or so monologues by famous individuals of all spectrums. Jesse Ventura, Donald Trump, Steve Austin, Bob Costas. But my favorite was the surprise appearance of Snoop Dogg. By shows end you now had a dozen potential murder suspects that could take this storyline in a million different directions. My guess - Jonathan Coachman, who was the last man to speak to Vince when he diverted him to the limo rigged with a car bomb.
My initial reaction to the whole storyline was that this was Vince's answer to the WICKED anticlimactic series finale of THE SOPRANOS. What a lackluster way that ended, huh? The entire nation was polarized by this finish, with some claiming it was a happy ending and others feeling ripped off by a blatant stab at a SOPRANOS movie (which we'll probably never see). Me? I thought my Comcast service went dead, cuz I was trying to watch an HBO movie earlier that same day and we lost power to the box TWICE. Turns out I was just as confused as the rest of the country. At least I can't blame it on the grey goose and purple haze. So yeah, I thought this was Vince McMahon's clever way of capitalizing on the murder mystery America WISHED they saw. But then the Canadian Strangler had to go and ruin everything. Things just never stay positive for long, do they?
Chris Benoit, Chris Benoit, Chris Benoit. Ad nauseum. So much drama in the last week, even 411Mania crashed. You know the story by now, so I'll just add my two cents worth. I was crushed. Absolutely deflated. The thing I hate most about this is the vindication mainstream America is feeling right now. I'm not even talking about the media – read the countless 411Wrestling features for those reactions. I'm talking about the idiots in my own life, the ones at work and in the streets who don't even watch wrestling. They're just glad the steroid heat is back on wrestling and off their precious baseball. Is it steroid related just because a pro wrestler was involved? Could be, but probably not in the way most people assume. It's probably something to do with the lesser-known depressive qualities of the drug, and not the most commonly associated "rage" effect. Either way it's fuckin sick, and he should have used the cord from the weight machine first not last. At least that way he could have been a tragic, sympathetic (albeit straight PUSSY) character like Kurt Cobain. Instead he killed the legacy he dedicated his whole life too. And how ironic were some of the comments made by his fellow peers during the rushed tribute special? Specifically the JBL crack about some youngsters not being able to dress in the locker room cuz of Benoit, or Triple H's "funny story" about Benoit forcing a wrestler to do over a thousand squats cuz Chris felt he disrespected Shawn Michaels. I'm sure they were using these examples to paint a picture of Benoit's dedication to the business, but in hindsight they just make him sound crazy. Could this be the end of pro wrestling as we know it, as some have speculated? No – cuz you can't kill something that's already dead. The most proficient piece in this whole sordid affair can be found right here with fellow 411Mania alumni John Meehan, who analyzes every aspect of the story.
Now read that again. I said I was crushed. I said I was deflated. But I wasn't surprised. I don't know Chris Benoit personally, and neither do you. We only know of him is what he left us of his exploits in pro wrestling land. A world we know demands from its participants a certain level of craziness. The willingness to maim and humiliate yourself on such a large public stage that it becomes too perversely entertaining to discard. One of the reasons I love wrestling is because of its self-regulated rock star lifestyle. Touring the country with your boys, wildin out. But yet it's such a small blip the mainstream barely even notices it. So you can get away with madd shit. I love wrestling like I love ELYSIAN FIELDS because to me they're one and the same. Getting high just to get by!
A wrestler calling himself "The Crippler" murders his whole family and then hangs himself on the same weekend he was due to win a championship belt on PPV. Everybody cheers for him cuz he's the epitome of hardcore wrestling, but then he sticks it to them by becoming eternally the sports biggest heel. Forever. A legacy he spent 20 years to create, flushed in three days. But in reality Chris Benoit has spoken volumes about the art we admire. In mainstream he is but a blip. It won't end wrestling as we know it, probably won't even scratch it. My wife forgot about it one day later. But to us wrestling nerds he will live forever. Will he make the WWE Hall of Fame? Did "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka? Regardless. He is assured his place in pro wrestling infamy.
I'm not sayin Benoit did it on purpose, or that it's all for our dark entertainment. It's not God striking down VKM Jr. (if he didn't do it for the Shawn Michaels handicap match he won't do it for the "Who Killed Vince?" storyline). I'm just saying Benoits heinous actions are what we come to expect from our wrestling anti-heroes. The greatest heels are judged by their most voracious boos, and Chris Benoit is now the absolute worst of the lot. In their circles he is a footnote – an example. To us he is a mythic figure. A dark Pegasus of sorts. So I don't think he will drive pro wrestling into extinction, but I fully expect there to be some storyline mention of his name by 2009. So don't worry, mega-nerds. The most priceless wrestler on the internet just shot his stock to near-mint, and his merchandise to ultra rare. It's terrible a thing he did, but do we expect anything less from these violent, vicious entertainers? The fact that drugs were most-assuredly involved (who said "G Buddies?") only drives my point home harder. I love this game. Drop that, and now you want me to rap and give? Say something positive, well positive ain't where I live.
But hey – this is a music column, so let's not deviate too far. Here's the news round up from around the way, and more priceless examples of why I love rap music.
IT'S HARD OUT HERE FOR A PIMP
The much maligned former MC Foxy Brown continues to catch bad ones. The drama surrounding Foxy Brown's assault continues, as police have intensified their search for the man accused of ordering several prostitutes to attack the rapper in the early morning hours on Saturday, June 23, in Brooklyn, New York.
Police are seeking to question Timothy Collier, 33, about his involvement in the assault, which took place in the Louis H. Pink Houses around 5:30 am. According to The New York Daily News, the State Division of Parole issued an arrest warrant for Collier on June 6, claiming that he has missed two meetings with his parole officer since he was released from prison in March.
Collier, who spent three years in jail on a previous drug conviction, was released in March. Foxy Brown was allegedly assaulted in the Louis H. Pink Houses, at the behest of Collier, after she attempted to break up with him, upon learning he was an alleged pimp with a criminal past. Collier allegedly called three women to the scene, who attacked Foxy Brown. During the fight, the women ripped out Brown's hair weave, stole her hearing aid and her Louis Vuitton purse, which contained $500 in cash.
Shortly after the incident, Brown allegedly identified one of the attackers out to police. Roshawn Anthony, 23, was arrested and charged with assault. Anthony was held on Rikers Island in lieu of $50,000 bail, but was freed on June 28, when Brown suddenly denied the altercation took place and refused to cooperate with a grand jury seeking an indictment against Anthony.
Brown is also on probation for an Aug. 2004 assault of two clerks in a Manhattan nail salon during a dispute over a $20 manicure. She ran afoul of the State Division of Parole in February, when she traveled to Pembroke Pines, Florida without her probation officer's consent. While in Florida, Brown became involved in an altercation with the owner of a local beauty supply store, who attempted to close the store while Brown shopped after hours. Brown was arrested and charged with resisting an officer and simple battery, when she struggled with an officer who attempted to apprehend her during the dispute with the owner of the store. She pleaded guilty to charges of violating her probation in March, avoiding a one-year prison term. Brown, 27, will stand trial for the incident in Pembroke Pines on September 24.
HIP HOP WEEKLY – THE "NATIONAL ENQUIRER" of RAP
Despite their latest cover story, Cash Money Records rapper/president Lil' Wayne has dismissed recent reports that he and Miami rapper Trina have rekindled their romance.
The former lovers reunited on stage last month during Miami Live at club Santos in front of a packed crowd, during Lil' Wayne's rendition of his song "Prostitute Flange." Trina was in the audience when Lil' Wayne pointed her out during his performance and called her on the stage. At one point during their performance, the two gazed into each others eyes during a tearful reunion in front of the audience. Despite their past past relationship and rumors that the two are back together, Lil Wayne said he and Trina are still "unquestionably platonic" friends.
Lil' Wayne also denied any romantic link to another woman he was photographed leaving Santos with the same evening, which sparked gossip that he may be involved in a a love triangle. The lyrics to the recently released song titled "Did It Before" featuring Kanye West also features Wayne rapping about multiple women, one named "Tammy" and the other "Lisa." "Did It Before" is a raunchy, catchy single taken from Lil Wayne's album Tha Carter 3, which was recently leaked on the Internet and bootlegged as The Drought Is Over: Tha Carter 3 Sessions.
According to Lil' Wayne the song has brought negative attention to Lisa, an actress/model and friend featured in the video for Wayne's song "Shooter," which features Robin Thicke. While the song mentions just the first name "Lisa," Lil' Wayne was clear that he was not referring to his actress/model friend.
"I worked with Lisa in the 'Shooter' video and I look forward to working with her again in the future," Lil' Wayne said in a statement. "I hope this statement will clear up any confusion and/or inconveniences." Lil Wayne, who recently started playing the guitar, expects Tha Carter III to be in stores in 2008.
PLAYING HARD TO GET
Hi-Five lead singer Tony Thompson was found dead June 1st in his hometown of Waco, Texas. His body was found outside of an apartment complex around 10:00 pm.
He allegedly died of drug overdose, but the cause of death has to be confirmed.
Thompson and Hi-Five hit #1 with 1990's "I Like The Way (The Kissing Game)," which was produced by R&B/Hip-Hop producer Teddy Riley and taken from the group's debut, Hi-Five. The album also produced singles like "I Can't Wait Another Minute" and "I Just Can't Handle It." Hi-Five broke up around 1994 but reunited and released a new album The Return in 2006 on Thompson's record label N'Depth.
Thompson also collaborated with Port Arthur, Texas rapper Bun-B on his 2006 single "Rock Ya Body," which was produced by Play-N-Skillz. Thompson, was working on new material for an upcoming album as well.
STOMP
After recently getting into a physical altercation with T.I., Ludacris' manager and business associate Chaka Zulu has issued a statement. As previously reported, Zulu and T.I. traded blows during brunch hosted by Warner Music Group's Kevin Liles at the Sunset Tower Hotel in Los Angeles on June 24. During the event, entitled "Make It Happen," named after Liles' book, Zulu and the WMG executive reportedly began to engage in an argument, in which T.I. intervened. T.I. would allegedly then throw a punch at Zulu which would spark a melee. Now, both Zulu and his publicist are speaking out about the scuffle. According to Billboard, Zulu's publicist called the incident "an unprovoked attack from the rapper [T.I.]," and said Zulu "was forced to defend himself." Commenting on the incident himself, Zulu stated that, "It's a shame that things like this continue to happen, especially with the backdrop of an event that was about benevolence and charitable works. I'm thankful that all issues have been resolved." Ludacris, who was also reportedly on hand at the event, was not involved in the fight.
TIT for TAT
A man, authorities believe was involved in the murder of Dipset affiliated rapper Stack Bundles, was found shot to death in a vacant house in Queens, New York on June 18.
According to New York's Daily News, aspiring rapper Charles White was found dead on a sofa with a pillow over his head, a leg wound, and two bullet wounds behind his ear. Authorities believe White's murder may have been in retaliation for the killing of Stack Bundles. Bundles (born Rayquon Elliott) was shot once in the head and once in the neck in the lobby of his Far Rockaway building last week. He was 24 years old. Police suspect White, 20, may have gone to Virginia, where he lived, right after Bundles' murder, but returned to New York last Saturday with his friend Kelvin Brown, 27.
Brown had reportedly just left his home when White was shot. He ran back to the house when he heard gunshots and called police. The house White was shot in has been on sale for months. An unidentified man who lived in the neighborhood said he saw three men on the stoop of the home Sunday night. He described them as being very polite. "One of them said 'Happy Father's Day' to me," the man said. No arrests have been made in either Bundles' or White's murder, obviously.
THE OUTRO
Earlier on tonight's card I alluded to some "very very bad news" for my fellow 411Music staffers, but I really meant bad news for the rest of the world. MSD is back, bitches!!! I mean really REALLY back.
For the last three years of my (sometimes sporadic) tenure at 411Mania I've complained of only one thing – NO COMPUTER ACCESS. For years now I've toiled under the radar, hitting various public libraries from state to state. Just to broadcast my insane ramblings. Well NO MORE! Tonight marks the LAST night of the old MSD. Tomorrow is a new dawn, a new age. Yes ladies and gentlemen – from now on MY SCREEN'S DIGITAL! I jacked my own joint and I'm getting the internet too!
What exactly does this mean? No delays, no failures, no two months absence (providing I stay free). The Summer of 2007 shall be subtitled "Resurrection of the Funk" because I'm BACK to stake my claim as the rawest Music Staffer with a WEEKLY column! You read that right – Adventures in Elysian Fields will be returning to its rightful place as a WEEKLY feature! Next week I'll be returning in full glory with my format intact, hat to the back with a Dutch and a fat dime sack. Word to Michael Melchor, let these fools know. Ask and you shall receive. I'mma light up the 411Music page like I'm center stage at the Hemp Fest. So if you smell marijuana and see the rest of these suckers fleeing from the smoke like their house is on fire, you'll know who's responsible.
Say it loud - MadStepDad brings the raw until you feel like a Juelz Santana/Lil Wayne collabo – "I Can't Feel My Face"! Peace to everybody who holds it down on the ONLY pop culture website that matters, peace to the family of that grizzly car crash fatality I saw last night, and peace to everybody in Broken City who stays lifted like stilettos. It's all fun and games until somebody gets knocked up, down or out.
