Sex, News & Violins 07.18.07
Posted by Jamie Buttineau on 07.18.2007
The Arcade Fire/LCD Soundsystem super tour gets more dates, Canada and The UK give out music prizes, The New Pornos like the autumn colours, Joanna Newsom is probably very popular in Scandinavia, Stars make pretty music, The National like to spread sadness across the land, and PJ Harvey is ever, ever so thin.
I was moving to a place, it was a holiday weekend, I just bought a Nintendo Wii and I'm lazy. All of these are perfectly acceptable reasons for why I didn't write a column last week. Accept them world, accept them.
I tried watching an episode of John From Cincinnati again this week. Now, I like shows where the story progresses at a snail's pace. I loved Carnivale and Lost is still one of my favourite shows. But seriously, what the hell is with this show? I mean at least most of the shows where the story progresses slowly usually have a story to progress slowly! What is the story here? All I'm getting from this show is there's a group of severely dysfunctional surfers who befriend a retarded man with magic powers who doesn't how to use a toilet and for some reason Al Bundy, Ellsworth fromDeadwood and Luis Guzman are hanging about. I mean, is there something I'm not getting here? Are there some kind of deep philosophical allusions that I'm just not comprehending? For God's sakes I usually love shows that make absolutely no sense! Hell, I even liked 12 Oz. Mouse, the one Adult Swim show that's so weird that nobody liked it and I liked it! But this, I don't get. I mean, the one guy levitates, they all seem to be able to heal each other, there are dream sequences, and a talking parrot healed a brain dead quadriplegic! What?! Man, if this turns out to have a point in the end maybe I'll give it another shot. Right now, I'll keep periodically tuning, hoping that something, anything, makes sense.
"I have to dump out." This guy wrote the dialogue for Deadwood and he comes up with that? What is going on?!
Viewer Mail
This is yet another email from Stephen G. We seem have a friendly debate going:
Thanks for publishing my letter on your column i just read it. I
realized
that using harsh words wasn't going to get anywhere so yes, I decided
to
talk nicely haha. I just wanted to readdress the multiple albums issue.
You
questioned why someone would record more songs for a record unless they
wanted to release a special edition for more money. Well first off,
that's a
strange statement. I could see that working for a pop group because
they
simply write 12 songs for a record and should be done with it. Most
rock
bands and especially the Smashing Pumpkins record an enormous amount of
songs before deciding the tracklist. I think in 1996 Billy released a
B-sides box set in an original case. There were 5 cds, the first track
being
one of the 5 singles off Mellon Collie followed by around 5 or 6 new
songs
(b-sides from the Mellon Collie recording session). Even more commonly
though the b-sides are put on a single disc seeing as someone buying a
cd
wants more than 1 song on it. Billy released Death From Above (the best
buy
exclusive track) on their new single. So they're not making tracks to
release it like that, but for people who are old-school and buy the
singles
at their indie record store or on iTunes get an exclusive b-side. Now
people
shopping at Target or Best Buy don't have to go to an indie store to
get a
good b-side. In this time and age Billy is just going to assume that
everyone that loves SP to death is going to get the b-sides on
fansites. Oh
and one last example, between 93 and 96 Billy was recording Mellon
Collie
and released Pisces Iscariot to appease fans. It was a cd of b-sides,
around
14 tracks. Billy has always made b-sides, in fact less now than he did
13
years ago. Thanks again for taking the time to read this, though I hold
contempt for your insults hurled at Billy, I guess someone is going to
do
it.
-Stephen
Ah, good ol' Steven G, capable of hating me without actually hating me. He's like the Gandhi of hate mail.
But it still sounds like a cash grab to me. I mean, I get that the fans wanted more material so he released more material but the fans still paid for the material. So it's not like he just gave it away, he still made some money off of it. Although he should have, dude released a 5 disc collection? You make 5 discs full of music then you're damned well he deserves to get paid for that work. But you see my main problem with the whole multiple Zeitgeist albums is that these aren't multiple albums, it's that there are multiples versions of the same album just with one or two bonus tracks on different copies. So essentially it's "buy every copy of the same album so you can live the full Smashing Pumpkins experience! Comes with a free plaster cast of Billy Corgan's head!"
I mean the whole reunion is in actuality a huge cash grab. I mean yeah sure, the Smashing Pumpkins have always been Corgan's band, but then again, you could say that The Police were Sting's band really. But what if Sting had grabbed two random nobodies and gone out and said "we're The Police! Come to our reunion tour!" People would be pissed, because even though Sting is basically the most essential part of the band, it's not The Police without Copeland and Summers. That's why this reunion is a sellout move, this is basically Corgan grabbing the drummer and two random strangers and saying "we're the Smashing Pumpkins! Come to our reunion tour!" It's mainly because Corgan was toiling away in anonymity with his solo tour, so he woke up one day and said "eh, I'll just grab some losers and reform the Smashing Pumpkins. Then things will be coming up Corgan!" And that's why I think Corgan is kind of a jackass for that. If he had packaged in a free disc with all the bonus tracks on them with certain copies of the album, that would have been ok. But making his fans buy copies of the same album is just douchey.
Also, it doesn't help that Zeitgeist isn't very good. Thanks for the letter though, friendly discourse is the best kind of discourse!
Coming To You Live From A Series Of Tubes
I had some neat videos from Live Earth to go here, but they've been taken off Youtube apparently since last week. Damn you copyright law!
Headlines!!
Too Much Awesomeness
How anyone could create a tour that could possibly compare to the potential greatness that is The Arcade Fire/LCD Soundsystem joint tour is beyond me. It's not possible, it is an impossibility. I mean these are two of the greatest bands in the music industry today, and they together are planning to take over North America. It doesn't seem fair really.
Now right now the tour only has 5 dates, and for all I know these might be the only dates. But if they are, and you get to go, you better cherish that moment buster, because two indie juggernauts like these playing together is something you won't easily forget.
The Arcade Fire/LCD Soundsystem joint tour extravaganza:
09-17 Morrison, CO - Red Rocks
09-20 Los Angeles, CA - Hollywood Bowl
09-30 St. Paul, MN - Roy Wilkins Auditorium
10-03 Louisville, KY - Waterfront Park
10-05 Columbus, OH - LC Pavilion
Meanwhile, both bands are also touring independently of each other. The Arcade Fire have managed to get UK indie rockers Clinic to open for their UK dates. A to the F have actually been covering Clinic at a few of their shows lately, so this is probably a match made in heaven.
The Arcade Fire:
07-13 Barcelona, Spain - Summercase Festival
07-14 Madrid, Spain - Summercase Festival
07-15 Southwold, England - Latitude Festival
07-18 Lyon, France - Les Nuits de Fourvière
07-20 Carhaix, France - Festival des Vieilles Charrues
07-22 Nimes, France - Festival de Nimes
07-25 Nyon, Switzerland - Paleo Festival
08-17 Hasselt, Belgium - Pukkelpop Festival
08-19 Biddinghuizen, Netherlands - Lowlands Festival
08-24 Paris, France - Rock en Seine
08-25 Reading, England - Reading Festival
08-26 Leeds, England - Leeds Festival
09-15 Austin, TX - Austin City Limits Festival
10-26 Glasgow, Scotland - SECC #
10-27 Manchester, England - MEN Arena #
10-29 Newcastle, England - Metro Radio Arena #
10-30 Cardiff, Wales - International Arena #
10-31 Nottingham, England - Arena #
11-08 Berlin, Germany - Columbiahalle
11-10 Vienna, Austria - Gasometer
11-11 Munich, Germany - Tonhalle
11-17 London, England - Alexandra Palace
11-18 London, England - Alexandra Palace #
11-19 London, England - Alexandra Palace
# with Clinic
And of course James Murphy continues trekking across the world with his own band of musical miscreants.
LCD Soundsystem:
07-18 Ibiza, Spain - Ibiza Rocks Festival
07-20 Vielles Charrues, France - Vielles Charrues Festival
07-21 Angoulême, France - Angoulême Festival
08-03 Chicago, IL - Lollapalooza
08-04 Washington, DC - V Festival
08-11 Tokyo, Japan - Summersonic
08-12 Osaka, Japan - Summersonic
08-17 Saint-Malo, France - Route du la Rock Festival
08-19 Biddinghuizen, Holland - Lowlands
08-24 Newcastle, England - Digital
08-24 Leeds, England - Leeds Festival
08-25 Liverpool, England - Creamfields Festival
08-26 Reading, England - Reading Festival
08-31 Stradbally, Ireland - Electric Picnic
09-01 Belfast, Ireland - Mandela Hall
09-02 Argyll, Scotland - Connect Festival
09-14-16 Austin, TX - Zilker Park (Austin City Limits)
10-20 Dublin, Ireland - Tripod
10-21 Manchester, England - Apollo
10-22 Glasgow, Scotland - Barrowlands
10-23 London, England - Brixton Academy
Speaking Of The Aforementioned Great Canadian Band
Hey remember all that hullabaloo about the Shortlist Music Prize? Well, now it's time for the Canadian version of that! The Polaris Music Prize is awarded to the Canadian band that 200 Canadian journalists deem the best of the bunch. And any Canadian music award would be deemed invalid unless it included The Arcade Fire among its nominees. Which thankfully, this award does.
Here be the Polaris nominees:
Arcade Fire - Neon Bible
The Besnard Lakes - The Besnard Lakes Are the Dark Horse
The Dears - Gang of Losers
Julie Doiron - Woke Myself Up
Feist - The Reminder
Junior Boys - So This Is Goodbye
Miracle Fortress - Five Roses
Joel Plaskett Emergency - Ashtray Rock
Chan VanGaalen – Skelliconnection
Patrick Watson - Close to Paradise
You know, I live in Canada and I haven't heard of half of these albums. Also I'm not sure what timeframe this is supposed to be taking place in since Junior Boys' and The Dears' albums came out in 2006. Regardless, this award should go to either The Arcade Fire, The Besnard Lakes, or Feist. Or I guess Junior Boys, even though their album is from last year. Everyone else are probably just filthy filthy hosers.
Also, I love how a Canadian award has the word "Polar" as part of the title. Kind of hard to shake the reputation of being a cold, arctic wasteland where nearly everything we have is named after things that are related to ice or Eskimos.
Speaking Of Music Awards That Are Centric To One Country
The nominees for the Nationwide Mercury Prize, an award similar to the Polaris Prize only given to musical acts from the UK, have also been released. Probably so they can ride on our coattails. Damn you Prince Charles! Here are the nominees:
Arctic Monkeys, Favourite Worst Nightmare
Dizzee Rascal, Maths + English
Amy Winehouse, Back to Black
Bat for Lashes, Fur and Gold
Fionn Regan, The End of History
New Young Pony Club, Fantastic Playroom
Klaxons, Myths of the Near Future
Young Knives, Voices of Animals and Men
Maps, We Can Create
The View, Hats Off to the Buskers
Jamie T, Panic Prevention
Basquiat Strings, Basquiat Strings with Seb Rochford
Huh, slim pickings this year. That's actually a pretty shitty list to be quite honest. Granted that may be because I haven't heard of more than half of these artists, but even the ones I have heard of aren't that great. But it's pretty much a moot point anyway as Amy Winehouse is gonna win it. Huh, for some reason I remember this award being more fun before. Oh well.
Spend Some Time With Pornography This Autumn
Moving onward with another Canadian band that will probably be nominated for the Polaris Music Prize next year (unless they disqualify them because Neko Case is a dirty dirty yankee) The New Pornographers have added some fall dates to their tour itinerary and are now pretty well booked up for the month of October. This is all to support their newest album Challengers which comes out on August 21, or is sort of out already online if you bought the "Executive Edition" of the album on Matador's site. Oh you musicians and your special editions.
Dirty:
07-29 Toronto, Ontario - Rogers Picnic
09-13 Victoria, British Columbia - McPherson Ballroom #&
09-14 Seattle, WA - Showbox #!
09-15 Seattle, WA - Showbox #!
09-16 Portland, OR - Crystal Ballroom #!
09-17 San Francisco, CA - Warfield Theatre #!
09-18 San Diego, CA - House of Blues #!
09-19 Los Angeles, CA - Henry Fonda Theater #!
09-20 Los Angeles, CA - Henry Fonda Theater #@
09-21 Tucson, AZ - Rialto Theatre #@
09-22 Albuquerque, NM - Sunshine Theater #@
09-24 Boulder, CO - Boulder Theater #@
09-25 Salt Lake City, UT - The Depot #@
09-26 Boise, ID - The Egyptian Theatre #@
09-28 Vancouver, British Columbia - Commodore Ballroom #!
10-11 Edmonton, Alberta - Edmonton Event Center $
10-12 Calgary, Alberta - MacEwen Hall $
10-13 Calgary, Alberta - MacEwen Hall $
10-14 Missoula, MT - University Theater $
10-15 Winnipeg, Manitoba - Garrick Center $
10-16 Minneapolis, MN - First Avenue $^
10-17 Milwaukee, WI - Pabst Theatre $^
10-18 Chicago, IL - The Metro $^
10-19 Chicago, IL - The Metro $^
10-20 Buffalo, NY - Riviera Theatre $^
10-21 Toronto, Ontario - Phoenix Concert Theatre $^
10-24 New York, NY - Webster Hall $^
10-25 New York, NY - Webster Hall $&
10-26 Philadelphia, PA - Trocadero $&
10-27 Washington, DC - 9:30 Club $^
10-31 New Orleans, LA - House of Blues $&
11-01 Houston, TX - Warehouse Live $+
11-02 Dallas, TX - House of Blues $+
11-03 Austin, TX - Emo's (Fun Fun Fun Fest)
11-05 Denver, CO - Gothic Theatre $
& with Immaculate Machine
# with Lavender Diamond
! with Fancey
@ with the Awkward Stage
$ with Emma Pollock
^ with Benjy Ferree
+ with Spoon
She's Probably A Rock Star At Renaissance Fairs
Joanna Newsom will tour Europe, where I'm certain they enjoy a finely written harp tune. I mean come on, Europe is the fantasy land of leprechauns, Vikings, royalty, hobbits and Frenchmen. How the hell could Joanna Newsom not be a superstar over there?
Except for maybe in Wales. Haha, oh Wales, you're like the Alabama of Europe.
Start taking harp lessons kids:
08-17 Brecon Beacons, Wales - Green Man Festival
09-11 Hamburg, Germany - Kampnagel
09-12 Amsterdam, Holland - Paradiso
09-13 Frankfurt, Germany - Dreikoenigs-Kirche
09-14 Prague, Czech Republic
09-16 Vienna, Austria - WUK
09-18 Munich, Germany - Muffathalle
09-19 Zurich, Switzerland - Rote Fabrik
09-26 Fribourg, Switzerland - Fri-Son
09-28 London, England - Royal Albert Hall
I'm Pretty Sure All You Have To Do To Be Successful In The Music Industry Is Play With Broken Social Scene. Hell, I Think If You Just Touch A Member Of Broken Social Scene Some Of The Talent May Rub Off On You
Stars, the maestros behind 2004's great album Set Yourself On Fire, which is probably my absolute favourite album to listen to in the winter, will go out on a fall tour to support their newest album In Our Bedroom After The War. Although it may be a daunting task to follow up that album, trying to make a song that compares to the icy beauty of "Your Ex-Girlfriend Is Dead" or the mad dash saxophone solo of "He Lied About Death"…At least I think that's a saxophone solo, one of my friends is convinced it's something else. Also, I just noticed their song titles sound really depressing. Every third song seems to have death in the title.
Anyhow, the talented Canadian indie rockers (man I type those words a lot) will play a few festivals in September before touring proper in October. Dates be coming now!
Don't actually set yourself on fire, that would hurt:
09-06 Grand Rapids, MI - Calvin College Fine Arts Center
09-08 Montreal, Quebec - Parc Jean-Drapeau (Osheaga Festival)
09-09 Toronto, Ontario - Virgin Festival
10-17 South Burlington, VT - Higher Ground
10-18 New York, NY - Town Hall
10-19 Boston, MA - Berklee Performance Centre
10-20 Washington, DC - 9:30 Club
10-24 Philadelphia, PA - Starlight Ballroom
10-26 Carrboro, NC - Cat's Cradle
10-27 Atlanta, GA - The Variety Playhouse
10-28 Tallahassee, FL - Club Downunder
10-30 Austin, TX - Stubb's BBQ
10-31 Dallas, TX - House of Blues
11-02 Chicago, IL - Vic Theatre
11-03 Minneapolis, MN - Pantages Theatre
11-04 Omaha, NE - Slowdown
11-06 Denver, CO - Gothic Theatre
11-08 Tucson, AZ - Rialto Theatre
11-09 San Diego, CA - House of Blues
11-10 Los Angeles, CA - The Orpheum
11-13 San Francisco, CA - Bimbo's 365 Club
11-14 San Francisco, CA - Bimbo's 365 Club
11-15 Portland, OR - The Crystal Ballroom
11-16 Seattle, WA - The Showbox
The Current Masters Of Gloom
The National for my money can safely be proclaimed the best gloom rockers of 2007. While Interpol, The Editors and others struggle to make you sad, The National accomplishes this goal with ease. Boxer is a good sad album, the kind of CD you need to listen to on a rainy day or cold winter's eve.
And if you enjoy being rocked into a deep depression, then you have plenty of opportunities to see The National on tour. The group will be embarking on a ginormous world tour this fall and you'll probably have several chances to go check them out. So put on your best moping face and buy a ticket today!
Dates:
08-05 Zambujeira do Mar, Portgal - Sudoeste Festival
08-15 St. Malo, France - La Route du Rock
08-17 New York, NY - South Street Seaport *
09-04 Philadelphia, PA - Theater of Living Arts
09-05 Washington, DC - 9:30 Club
09-06 Washington, DC - 9:30 Club
09-07 Carrboro, NC - Cats Cradle
09-08 Atlanta, GA - Variety Playhouse
09-10 Orlando, FL - The Club @ Firestone
09-11 Tallahassee, FL - Club Downunder
09-12 Birmingham, AL - The Bottletree
09-14 Dallas, TX - Grenada Theater
09-16 Austin, TX - Zilker Park (Austin City Limits Festival)
09-18 Denver, CO - Ogden Theater
09-19 Omaha, NE - Slowdown
09-20 Minneapolis, MN - Fine Line
09-21 Milwaukee, WI - Pabst Theater
09-22 Chicago, IL - The Vic
09-23 Cincinnati, OH - Madison Theater
09-27 San Diego, CA - Casbah
09-28 Los Angeles, CA - The Wiltern
09-29 San Francisco, CA - Ballroom
10-01 Portland, OR - Crystal Ballroom
10-02 Seattle, WA - Showbox
10-03 Vancouver, British Columbia - Commodore Ballroom
10-06 Boston, MA - Roxy
10-07 Montreal, Quebec - Le National
10-08 Toronto, Ontario - Phoenix Concert Hall
11-01 Dublin, Ireland - Olympia Theatre
11-02 Glasgow, Scotland - ABC
11-03 Sheffield, England - Leadmill
11-04 Manchester, England - Academy 2
11-06 Birmingham, England - Irish Centre
11-07 London, England - Shepherds Bush Empire
11-09 Bristol, England - Anson Rooms
11-10 Portsmouth, England - Pyramids
11-13 Reims, France - La Cartonnerie
11-14 Paris, France - Elysée Montmartre
11-15 Rennes, France - Ubu Club
11-16 Toulouse, France - Le Phare
11-17 Barcelona, Spain - La del Apolo
11-19 Clermont, France - Ferrand
11-20 Lausanne, Switzerland - Le Romandie
11-21 Milan, Italy - Transilvania
11-22 Zurich, Switzerland - Abart
11-23 Zagreb, Croatia - TBA
11-24 Vienna, Austria - Szene Wien
11-26 Stuttgart, Germany - Schocken 12
11-27 Cologne, Germany - Prime Club
11-28 Amsterdam, Holland - Melkweg
11-30 Copenhagen, Denmark - Lille Vega
12-01 Stockholm, Sweden - Debaser
12-02 Oslo, Norway - John Dee
12-03 Malmo, Sweden - KB
12-05 Hamburg, Germany - Knust
12-06 Berlin, Germany - Postbahnhof
* with Takka Takka, the Forms
For The Love Of God Eat A Sandwich
The extremely slender and bizarre artist PJ Harvey has released the tracklist for her upcoming seventh LP entitled White Chalk. We haven't really heard anything from her since she released Uh Huh Her back in 2004 (well I guess you could count those John Peel sessions she released last year if you wanted to). That received somewhat positive although mostly mixed reviews. So I'm hoping this is a return to form for Polly Jean. Here be the tracklist, in all it's glory.
White Chalk Tracklist:
01 The Devil
02 Dear Darkness
03 Grow Grow Grow
04 When Under Ether
05 White Chalk
06 Broken Harp
07 Silence
08 To Talk To You
09 The Piano
10 Before Departure
11 The Mountain
Polly J. will also be playing some festivals in Spain and one in England. I'm pretty sure she said in an interview a long time ago that she was through with touring, but I wouldn't be surprised if a tour magically appeared.
PJ plays:
07-13 Barcelona, Spain - Summercase Festival
07-14 Madrid, Spain - Summercase Festival
09-29 London, England - Royal Festival Hall
Oh yeah, and My Bloody Valentine are releasing two new albums. But you can pretty much read all about that in Ian's column. I think Ian may be a fan of them or something.
RAPIDFIRE NEWS SMARTASSERY!!
Britney Spears recently applied for a job as a cocktail waitress at a Hollywood bar, even filling out an application and going to a job interview. Well, it's nice too see that she's planning for her future I suppose.
50 Cent's newest album's release date has been pushed back a week from September 4 to September 11. You mean I have to wait yet another week to hear Fiddy talk about great he is because he's richer than me and he got shot umpteen times?! Darn!
Marilyn Manson will soon direct his debut film. Huh, so I guess judging by him and Rob Zombie, all metal singers eventually go on to become film directors. This can only lead to one thing: Ronnie James Dio, filmmaker. Be afraid Scorcese!
I think the creepy newsbit to come from this is that Marilyn Manson is dating the chick from the movie Thirteen. That's, just icky.
The Hives have been making the rounds in the news lately, which is weird, because I hadn't heard anything about The Hives since 2004. Apparently they're scheduled to tour with Maroon 5, which is indeed an odd pairing. On one hand you have a Coldplay/Justin Timberlake knockoff band who play inoffensive but crappy pop rock, and on the other hand a Swedish garage rock band who dress in matching suits and are actually fairly entertaining. In fact I will cop to being a Hives fan. Of course this isn't the only thing The Hives have done lately, they've also appeared in a Sin City-esque music video for one of Timbaland's sub-par hip hop offerings. So what can we assess from a tour with a crappy pop group who get airtime on MTV and appearing in a music video with a super popular hip hop star who also gets airtime on MTV? That The Hives want to get paid baby. And who can blame them, it's not like the world of Swedish garage rock is all that lucrative. Plus, Bloc Party did the same thing when they toured with Panic! At The Disco last year. A talented band who actually create quality material tour with a band that is insanely awful however still very popular in order to obtain some recognition. Will The Hives be able to obtain some mainstream success in America? Well, it really depends on whether that creepy guitarist is willing to shave that nasty moustache and invest in some Rogaine.
One of these things is not like the others. He looks like their creepy uncle.
Kanye West and Evel Knievel will use a mediator to help settle their lawsuit stemming from Kanye's impersonation of Knievel in the music video for "Touch The Sky." Well it just goes to show that if you're an old, washed up celebrity and you complain about something loudly enough, you can probably get paid for it. Good for you Evel, you old coot you.
As soon as someone tells me that a movie has "John Travolta in drag as a fat woman singing and dancing" I'm out. Not even the awesomeness of Christopher Walken can save that tripe.
This week in the "Rapper Done Do Bad Things" section of the Rapidfire, rapper Remy Ma was arrested for attempted murder. You see Lil' Kim and Eve, now that's a crime. Remy got mad street cred. DUI and perjury, y'all ain't real! I deduct ten street cred points from the both of you and give them to Remy Ma. As a result, I think she levels up and is a 12th level wizard queen in the world of rap or something like that.
Avril Lavigne is apparently being sued over the song "Girlfriend". I know that news came out about two weeks ago, but it's such a fun tidbit I thought it deserved to be mentioned again. Her suffering pleases me.
Amy Winehouse scheduled some of her shows due to exhaustion and needing some time to rest. Yeah, self mutilation does take a lot out of you.
According to experts, Lindsay Lohan's post rehab club hopping could lead to a relapse. Gee, ya think so?! Man, those experts sure do know their stuff by golly.
Carrie Underwood's sophomore LP is expected to be released this October. Alright, I can't wait to see what Jesus does on this one. I bet he punches a Mexican! Yay America!
Billboard Top 20
1. T.I., T.I. Vs. T.I.P. – Ooooo a concept rap album about being street and being Hollywood! It's like an inner battle within the mind between the superego and the id! Deep stuff, although T.I. seems to boil it down to "Daymn T.I.P. you gay!" "Daymn T.I. you stupid!" Now that's, opera.
2. Miley Cyrus, Hanna Montana 2 Soundtrack/Meet Miley Cyrus – Now I was absent last week, so obviously I missed the ascension of the Cyrus spawn. Apparently this is both the soundtrack for the Hanna Montana thing-a-ma-whatever and the debut album for Miley Cyrus. So in essence, what they've done is given me two reasons to hate this album whereas before I would have only had one. That's very efficient of them, I almost appreciate it.
3. Kelly Clarkson, My December – I dunno Mitch, getting number 3 on the Billboard charts doesn't seem like a huge failure. Although her last album did go sextuple platinum. Hmmm, I still say it's soon to declare a winner, but I am slowly starting to lean towards Clive Davis on this one.
4. Bon Jovi, Lost Highway – Country music and Bon Jovi, it's like the cosmos wanted to hurt my soul.
5. Velvet Revolver, Libertad – I'm not a fan, but if it makes Slash money so he can buy more top hats, then I approve.
6. Kelly Rowland, Ms. Kelly – Oooohhh, she's SASSY!
7. Brad Paisley, 5th Gear – Because nothing says manly cowboy like the name Paisley. Wuss.
8. Amy Winehouse, Back To Black – Once she gets divorced she's gonna regret that scar tissue on her stomach.
9. Linkin Park, Minutes To Midnight – The more you buy their albums, the more likely it is that they'll make another one of those crappy anime music videos. Freakin' anime.
10. The White Stripes, Icky Thump – I like how ecky thump is an actual saying, I think I may start saying that. It's bizarre enough to catch on.
11. Fergie, The Dutchess – Her music actually gives me seizures. How can people stand this crap?
12. Maroon 5, It Won't Be Soon Before Long – Hopefully it won't be soon before you're washed up has-beens. Stay away from The Hives!
13. T-Pain, Epiphany – Testicle-Pain?
14. Rihanna, Good Girl Gone Bad – I wouldn't use that umbrella after Rihanna is done with it. She's done awful things with it.
15. R. Kelly, Double Up – What has it been, a year, since he last urinated on somebody? He may well be on the road to recovery after all.
16. Toby Keith, Big Dog Daddy - If he hadn't learned to play the guitar, something tells me wherever he lived there would probably have been a pickup truck with no wheels on the front lawn…Hell he probably has one anyway.
17. Fabolous, From Nothin' To Somethin' – Illiteracy is a problem facing many adults today.
18. Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift – But can it clean this grimy kitchen counter?
19. Paul McCartney, Memory Almost Full – Ringo never loved you!
20. Avril Lavigne, The Best Damn Thing – THIEF!
Important New Releases Of The Week….According To Me
This album and Icky Thump seem to be proving that a really crappy or bizarre album title may wield quality results. A good album from Spoon isn't a shocking event, they've been consistent in their greatness for years upon years now. Another fun album from them is par for the course. Britt Daniels and the gang are really impressive in their abilities to continuously release quality material. Hell, most bands can't even release two good albums, while Spoon has released four great albums this decade alone. Check it out, people seem to be ga ga themselves over the song "The Underdog", although that's not even my favourite song on the album.
The Greatest Video Ever Made Of The Week
Ghosthustler, "Parking Lot Nights"
Found this little gem whilst searching on Youtube. According to Pitchfork these guys don't even have a label, which, is ridiculous because they sound pretty awesome. Although the lead singer looks a little too much like Vincent Chase from Entourage. This is found synth laden electro music from two guys with a keyboard, proving that making music is so much easier today. Back in the old day you needed an hour in a recording studio, an engineer and several rolls of tape. Now you just need a Mac. The video is pretty fun, basically a guy walks around punching people in the face with an old Nintendo power glove. And midway through the video a break dancer busts a move on that old Nintendo floor pad thing that was a precursor to the whole DDR craze. Man, Nintendo used to make some shitty peripherals….Well I guess they still do. Wii balancing board, yeesh.
Support The Municipality
The 411 Top 100 Albums kicked off this week with numbers 100-91. I actually forgot all about this since I submitted my list months and months ago. I'm actually kind of disappointed I didn't contribute any witty sayings to this, I like talking about good music. Bummer.
The 2007 Midyear Review Roundup made its way to the homepage and it is exactly what it sounds like. We look at the best music that's come out so far this year…That we've reviewed that is. I disagree with The Arcade Fire's relatively low ranking in the top ten, but then again I'm an Arcade Fire fanboy so with anything less than number one that's probably expected.
Ian Wright talks all about the rather huge news that My Bloody Valentine will release two new albums and tour in 2008. I would have covered this myself normally seeing as how I'm a big fan of Loveless, as is anyone with ears, but Ian is probably a much bigger fan than I so the breaking story is his. He also lists his top five albums of the year so far. Do you think Boxer made the list?
And somehow the July Roundtable seemed to slip under the radar. Although that might because even I forgot about it this month. Also, we all seem to really hate Kelly Clarkson all of a sudden. Also, for some reason Billy Ray Cyrus gets some love. Also, there's, a really nasty picture relating to the Spice Girls in there. That's, just so wrong Mitch.
IT'S OVER!!
Ah, a nice long column to make up for my absence. I spoil you. Until next time, I am the guy who does that thing.
