Sex, News & Violins 8.08.07
Posted by Jamie Buttineau on 08.08.2007
Kanye West likes obscure comedians and bears, Stars rain down on Europe, !!! get all exclaimatory on your ass, and a NOW compilation that won't give you the dry heaves.
Sadly boys and girls this is going to be one of those hastily produced versions of the SNV report. Of course I say hastily produced, but in all likelihood this thing will probably still end up being 12 pages long.
Headlines
You Could Try Telling Him Something, But I Don't Think He'd Listen
Huh, I saw this cover a while ago. I thought it was a joke at first but evidently it's the real cover. Kind of crappy really, but it's got a bear on it so it works in that vein.
Kanye West's new album is approaching, and whether it'll be as big a hit critically or financially as Late Registration is still up in the air. But, one thing is for sure, no matter how good or bad Graduation is, it'll be better than anything 50 Cent has ever done and ever will do. I say that, because Graduation will go head to head with the living target practice's album when it is released on September 11. Kanye also has released the tracklist, and it's surprisingly shorter than his usual 20+ track affairs. But maybe that means he just trimmed the fat.
Graduation Tracklist:
01 Good Morning
02 Homecoming [ft. Chris Martin]
03 Stronger
04 Champion
05 Good Life [ft. T-Pain]
06 I Wonder
07 Even More Broke Phi Broke (Skit)
08 Can't Tell Me Nothing
09 Drunk and Hot Girls [ft. Mos Def]
10 Evrything I Am [scratches by DJ Premier]
11 Good Night [ft. Mos Def & Al Be]
12 Big Brother
13 Graduation (Skit)
14 The Glory
15 CRS [ft. Lupe Fiasco and Pharrell] [pre-order only]
Huh, so after grabbing a Chris Martin soundalike in Adam Levine for his second album, he's able to get the real thing for the third. How about that. There's also a few dates on his itinerary, so if you want to see Kanye in all his designer sunglasses wearing glory, then you better hope you live in one of these places.
Broke Phi Broke, we ain't got it!:
08-11 Gothenburg, Sweden - Way Out West Festival (with Peter Bjorn & John)
08-12 Leuven, Belgium - Marktrock Festival
08-14 Helsinki, Finland - Ice Hall
08-16 Edinburgh, Scotland - Edinburgh Corn Exchange (T on the Fringe)
08-18 Chelmsford, England - Hylands Park (V Festival)
08-19 Staffordshire, England - Weston Park (V Festival)
08-24 Chicago, IL - House of Blues (Kanye West Foundation benefit)
10-26 Dubai, United Arab Emirates - Dubai Country Club
European Astronomy
Stars have announced some European dates to help spread the word about of their newest album In Our Bedroom After The War, which will be trying very hard to top their last album Set Yourself On Fire. Which will be difficult, because that album was great.
Members of the band will also make appearances on Kevin Drew's new solo album, so it's good to know that they're keeping themselves busy.
Twinkle twinkle:
09-04 Waterloo, Ontario - The Starlight Room
09-06 Grand Rapids, MI - Calvin College Fine Arts Center
09-08 Montreal, Quebec - Parc Jean-Drapeau (Osheaga Festival)
09-09 Toronto, Ontario - Virgin Festival
09-19 Hanover, Germany - Cafe Glocksee
09-20 Berlin, Germany - Postbahnhof
09-21 Dresden, Germany - Scheune
09-23 Vienna, Austria - Radiokultorhaus (FM4 Show)
09-25 Milan, Italy - Rainbow
09-26 Munich, Germany - Feierwerk
09-27 Cologne, Germany - Gebäude 9
09-28 Hamburg, Germany - Reeperbahn Festival
09-29 Amsterdam, Netherlands - Upstairs at Paradiso
10-01 Birmingham, England - Barfly
10-02 Leeds, England - The Brudenell Social Club
10-03 Manchester, England - Night & Day Café
10-04 Glasgow, Scotland - King Tut's Wah-Wah Hut
10-05 Belfast, Northern Ireland - The Speakeasy
10-06 Dublin, Ireland - Temple Bar Music Centre
10-08 London, England - Scala
10-17 South Burlington, VT - Higher Ground
10-18 New York, NY - Town Hall
10-19 Boston, MA - Berklee Performance Centre
10-20 Washington, DC - 9:30 Club
10-24 Philadelphia, PA - Starlight Ballroom
10-26 Carrboro, NC - Cat's Cradle
10-27 Atlanta, GA - The Variety Playhouse
10-28 Tallahassee, FL - Club Downunder
10-30 Austin, TX - Stubb's BBQ
10-31 Dallas, TX - House of Blues
11-02 Chicago, IL - Vic Theatre
11-03 Minneapolis, MN - Pantages Theatre
11-04 Omaha, NE - Slowdown
11-06 Englewood, CO - Gothic Theatre
11-08 Tucson, AZ - Rialto Theatre
11-09 San Diego, CA - House of Blues
11-10 Los Angeles, CA - The Orpheum
11-13 San Francisco, CA - Bimbo's 365 Club
11-14 San Francisco, CA - Bimbo's 365 Club
11-15 Portland, OR - The Crystal Ballroom
11-16 Seattle, WA - The Showbox
The Most Exclaimatory Band, EVER!
!!! is dragging those exclaimation marks on tour once again this fall to support their quite good album Myth Takes. It's a pretty sizable tour too so I'm betting if you wanna see these guys live you'll have plenty of chances.
The gods must be crazy:
08-09 Lausanne, Switzerland - Pully For Noise Festival
08-11 Leicester, England - Summer Sundae
08-13 Budapest, Hungary - Sziget Festival
08-14 Warsaw, Poland - Hard Cafe
08-16 Salzburg, Germany - Frequency Festival
08-18 Helsinki, Finland - Flow Festival
08-21 Groningen, Netherlands - Noorderzan
08-23 Utrecht, Netherlands - Tivoli
08-24 Gent, Belgium - Gent Festival
08-25 Reading, England - Reading Festival
08-26 Leeds, England - Leeds Festival
08-28 Zagreb, Croatia - In Music Fest
08-30 Moscow, Russia - Club B2
09-01 Stradbally, Ireland - Electric Picnic Festival
09-26 Los Angeles, CA - Avalon *
09-27 San Diego, CA - Cane's *
09-28 Phoenix, AZ - Brick House *
09-29 Tucson, AZ - Rialto Theatre *
10-01 Dallas, TX - The Loft *
10-02 Austin, TX - La Zona Rosa *
10-03 Little Rock, AR - Revolution Music Room *
10-04 Birmingham, AL - BottleTree *
10-06 Athens, GA - 40 Watt *
10-07 Mt. Pleasant, SC - Village Tavern *
10-08 Baltimore, MD - Otto Bar *
10-10 Philadelphia, PA - The Fillmore at the TLA *
10-11 New York, NY - Webster Hall *
10-12 Boston, MA - Paradise Rock Club *
10-13 Montreal, Quebec - Le Studio
10-15 Toronto, Ontario - Opera House
10-20 Reykjavik, Iceland - Iceland Airwaves Festival
10-23 Oslo, Norway - Rockefeller
10-24 Copenhagen, Denmark - Vega
10-25 Hamburg, Germany - Knust
10-26 Cologne, Gremany - Gebaude 9
10-27 Lausanne, Switzerland - Docks
10-29 Milan, Italy - Transilvania
10-30 Ravenna, Italy - Bronson
10-31 Zurich, Switzerland - Abart
11-01 Meylan, France - MJC
11-02 Barcelona, Spain - Razz Club
11-03 Bilbao, Spain - Fever Club
11-05 Strasbourg, France - Laiterie
11-07 London, England - Koko
* with the Field
NOW That's A Compilation I Might Be Able To Tolerate!
Everyone loves a good compilation CD, as evidenced by the fact that everyone buys thousands of copies of the NOW series every time a new one if released (seriously, the latest one has an Elliot Yamin song on it. Why would you buy that?!). Well now indie rock has decided to jump on the bandwagon, with the This Is NEXT! series.
Basically it's the NOW series, only with indie rock bands instead of Well, Elliot Yamin. But the surprising thing is that it's actually a pretty good compilation, with bands like the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Shins, Bloc Party, Spoon, Sonic Youth, Cat Power and so many other bands that I actually like. If I didn't already own the albums that most of these songs are from I might have actually considered getting it. Take a looksee:
This Is NEXT Tracklist:
01 Bloc Party - "The Prayer"
02 Yeah Yeah Yeahs - "Cheated Hearts"
03 Sonic Youth - "Do You Believe in Rapture?"
04 The Shins - "Phantom Limb"
05 Spoon - "The Underdog"
06 Bright Eyes - "Four Winds"
07 Cat Power - "Lived in Bars"
08 Neko Case - "Hold On, Hold On"
09 Of Montreal - "Heimdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse"
10 Deerhoof - "The Perfect Me"
11 The Hold Steady - "Chips Ahoy!"
12 Cold War Kids - "Hang Me Up to Dry"
13 Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - "Colleen"
14 M. Ward - "Chinese Translation"
15 Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - "Satan Said Dance"
Any compilation that has the balls to put a Deerhoof song on its tracklist has my vote.
RAPIDFIRE NEWS SMARTASSERY!!
After all the brouhaha about Usher cancelling his wedding he ended up getting married this week instead. But then, a post phoned wedding isn't as exciting and scandalous as a cancelled wedding. Plus then it gives photographers a chance to take pictures of Usher hanging around other women and sell those pictures to tabloid magazines! That's how journalism works dammit!
Speaking of Usher, his phone buddy R. Kelly will finally go to trial over his child pornography case. Of course, we all know how that's gonna go:
Lollapalooza was this weekend, I'm willing to bet that some bands probably played some music. But that's just a guess.
Van Halen have apparently mapped out their world tour. They've even pinpointed the exact location where they'll have the fight that'll break them up again.
Here's something I didn't know, apparently one of the douchebags from Good Charlotte is the guy who knocked Nicole Richie up. So that kid is not only to be a clueless ditz, but an emo clueless ditz at that? This kid's not even born yet and already I hate it!
Ah, news about Britney Spears going crazy. Seems like too long since we've had good solid crazy Britney news. Recently the unstable single mom freaked out a photographer, throwing a water bottle at him and threatening to kill him. Eh, it's a nice story and all, but it doesn't compare to him being bald and whacking a car with an umbrella. Hahaha, man, can you believe people used to take her seriously? What wacky times those were.
Also there's pictures of her pole dancing. Wanna see? Of course you don't:
That is one of the most disturbing things that I have seen. There is no soul behind those eyes. The light or fire that once lied within long exstinguished. All that lies beyond is an endless darkness, a void that can never be filled. A black hole of sadness and misery that sucks in all those who are unfortunate to step near it....Plus her hair looks kind of nasty.
Michael Jackson recently licensed the use of the Beatles' song "All You Need Is Love" for a diaper commercial. Man, Paul McCartney should not have fucked with him, for Michael Jackson is a spiteful man.
Marilyn Manson is being sued by his former keyboardist, for spending much of his band's earnings on himself rather than paying his fellow bandmates. Also, he spent the money on Nazi artefacts and a Chinese boy's skeleton. Ah, the things you find on eBay.
Billboard Top 20
1. Various Artists, NOW 25 Elliot Yamin is on this! Who would buy anything that has Elliot Yamin on it?!!
2. Various Artists, Hairspray Soundtrack Every time I see a picture of John Travolta in drag, it's like God is laughing at me.
3. Prince, Planet Earth Do not doubt the drawing power of Prince! He could produce an entire album of himself continuously moaning whilst in mid-coitus and it would sell records! In fact he's done that before.
4. Miley Cyrus, Hanna Montana 2/Meet Miley Cyrus Why must the Disney Channel make me hate life?
5. T.I., T.I. Vs. T.I.P. One of them's a slob, and the other is neat, they're the Odd Couple!
6. Fergie, The Dutchess People actually find this thing attractive. Figure that one out.
7. Sum 41, Underclass Hero One of the few survivors of that whole crappy pseudo punk band craze of a few years ago. And somehow the lead singer is still married to Avril Lavigne. If Brad and Jennifer couldn't make it work then neither will these two!
8. Linkin Park, Minutes To Midnight These guys make My Chemical Romance look masculine in comparison.
9. Amy Winehouse, Back To Black Her socks pick up radio frequencies from the government who are actually alien dentists who want to control our minds using strawberry jam! But you wouldn't know that because you don't understand her!
10. Plain White T's, Every Second Counts Especially if they're the seconds of your 15 minutes of fame.
11. Nickelback, All The Right Reasons The devil listens to this. It's his favourite album. You're supporting the devil each time you buy this. You will go to hell.
12. Bon Jovi, Lost Highway -
13. Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift Lemony.
14. Rihanna, Good Girl Gone Bad Apparently hurt her foot after a mishap with a chair. I'm not sure how one has a mishap with a chair bur Rihanna has managed to find a way.
15. Kelly Clarkson, My December Bitch bitch, moan moan.
16. Brad Paisley, 5th Gear Sissyboy
17. Maroon 5, It Won't Be Soon Before Long Be more cryptic why don'tcha?
18. The White Stripes, Icky Thump Thank God the world is still intelligent enough to respect the genius of Jack White.
19. T-Pain, Epiphany Does the "T" stand for tibia? If so, you should consult a doctor.
20. Billy Ray Cyrus, Home At Last Oh dear God no.
The Greatest Video Ever Made Of The Week
Kanye West (feat. Zach Galifianakis and Will Oldham), "Can't Tell Me Nothin'"
From the upcoming album Graduation, 2007
Zach Galifianakis and Will Oldham act like gangsters on a farm while little girls and a creepy farmer clog dance. I really think the video speaks for itself in terms of awesomeness, don't you?
At least you can't say Kanye doesn't think outside the box.
Support The Municipality!!
The August Roundtable is up. Again I forgot to participate but it's been a busy month so it's amazing I've even managed to write columns yet alone even try to write for the Roundtable.
Ask 411music is back with a whole new set of questions. Because Mitch is here to enlighten us all.
Ian Wright talks about some of the stuff I talked about, only he's Irish so it's different.
Fact Or Fiction has Mikey MiGo and Evocator Manes (if that is his real name then I may have to bow down to him. That sounds like the kind of name a wizard king should have).
IT'S OVER!!
It was dumb, it was obvious, it was pointless, it was .short. I loved it! Oh ho ho ho! See ya next week.
