Sex, News & Violins 08.15.07
Posted by Jamie Buttineau on 08.15.2007
The Arcade Fire/LCD Soundsystem supertour sets its last date, you can now listen to robots playing music at home, Cat Power teams up with some popular gloom rockers to kick some depressing ass, a hip hop supergroup that may make 50 Cent say some more stupid stuff, and Ladytron hates 21 year olds for some reason. Did I mention that 50 Cent says a lot of really stupid stuff? Because he really does.
What a great week, Karl Rove resigns, Superbad comes out and my birthday is on Sunday. Yes, I too must unfortunately age. Damn you mortality! I'll get even with you one of these days! Until then, how about a column? A column it is then!
Coming To You Live From A Series Of Tubes
Gogol Bordello, "Wanderlust King"
Live from Late Show With David Letterman, July 31, 2007.
I love these guys, it seems like every live performance by them is full of excitement and genuine joy. This performance also has Asian gypsy chicks jumping and running about, which makes it even better. Even Dave seems somewhat enlivened by the performance. At least as enlivened as Dave gets these days.
Headlines!!
The Greatest Tour That I Shall Never See
Well, The Arcade Fire/LCD Soundsystem joint tour has announced its final date. Every date on the tour is now set and the tickets are on sale. Of course I won't be buying a ticket because there's not a single Canadian date! Not one! Come on Arcade Fire, you guys are Canadian! You couldn't have dragged James Murphy across the border so we could get a taste of the musical goodness? Hell, I would have even driven to Montreal just to see it! You guys will play in Utah but not Toronto? BAAAAAAAH!!
Regardless, for you lucky people who happen to reside in one of the areas where this godly feast of aural delights will touch down you damn well better grab a seat. The two bands will further their relationship and comradery by releasing a limited edition joint 7" with LCD Soundsystem performing a cover of Joy Divison's "No Love Lost" and The Arcade Fire performing a cover of the Serge Gainsbourg song "Poupee de Cire, Poupee de Son" which I do believe might be French. Now, the coveted dates for this supertour.
Bask in the glow of glory:
09-17 Morrison, CO - Red Rocks Amphitheatre
09-20 Los Angeles, CA - Hollywood Bowl
09-21 Mountain View, CA - Shoreline Amphitheatre
09-24 Seattle, WA - Bank of America Arena at Hec Edmundson Pavilion (University of Washington)
09-26 Lehi, UT - Waterfall Amphitheater at Thanksgiving Point
09-28 Kansas City, MO - Starlight Theatre
09-30 Saint Paul, MN - Roy Wilkins Auditorium
10-03 Louisville, KY - Waterfront Park
10-05 Columbus, OH - LC Pavilion
10-06 New York, NY - Randall's Island #
# with Les Savy Fav
And for shiggles, let's put up the individual dates for The Arcade Fire and LCD Soundsystem. Because it's not like I don't already talk about both of those bands enough.
The Arcade Fire dates:
08-17 Hasselt, Belgium - Pukkelpop Festival
08-19 Biddinghuizen, Netherlands - Lowlands Festival
08-24 Paris, France - Rock en Seine
08-25 Reading, England - Reading Festival
08-26 Leeds, England - Leeds Festival
09-15 Austin, TX - Zilker Park (Austin City Limits Festival)
10-24 Dublin, Ireland - Phoenix Park $
10-26 Glasgow, Scotland - SECC $
10-27 Manchester, England - MEN Arena $
10-29 Newcastle, England - Metro Radio Arena $
10-30 Cardiff, Wales - International Arena $
10-31 Nottingham, England - Arena $
11-04 Oslo, Norway - Spektrum
11-05 Stockholm, Sweden - Annexet
11-07 Copenhagen, Denmark - KB Hallen
11-08 Berlin, Germany - Columbiahalle
11-10 Vienna, Austria - Gasometer
11-11 Munich, Germany - Tonhalle
11-17 London, England - Alexandra Palace
11-18 London, England - Alexandra Palace $
11-19 London, England - Alexandra Palace
$ with Clinic
LCD Soundsystem dates:
08-17 Saint-Malo, France - La Route du Rock Festival
08-19 Biddinghuizen, Holland - Lowlands
08-23 Newcastle, England - Digital
08-24 Leeds, England - Leeds Festival
08-25 Liverpool, England - Creamfields Festival
08-26 Reading, England - Reading Festival
08-31 Stradbally, Ireland - Electric Picnic
09-01 Belfast, Ireland - Mandela Hall
09-02 Argyll, Scotland - Connect Festival
09-14 Austin, TX - Zilker Park (Austin City Limits)
10-20 Dublin, Ireland - Tripod
10-21 Manchester, England - Apollo
10-22 Glasgow, Scotland - Barrowlands
10-23 London, England - Brixton Academy
Live Hot Robot Shows
Daft Punk has often been praised for their awesome live performances, which makes sense because seeing robots rock out seems like something that would be pretty damned awesome. And now a live CD from the band is expected to be released soon, with the show having been taped at a June 14th gig at Paris' Bercy. So if you were there, chances are you'll get to hear yourself woo consistently on this CD.
There is no release date or title yet, but it will come in both a single disc and double disc version that includes the encore. A single for the live version of "Harder, Faster, Better, Stronger" will be released accompanied by a video directed by Michel Gondry's brother Olivier. Oh those wacky Gondry brothers and their directorial hijinks.
Strangely though, there is no word of a live DVD to go along with this. Which, seems like an oversight considering how much of the fuss made about Daft Punk's live show is about all the pyramid of flashing lights and other tantalizing eye candy. Come on, I wanna watch robots play funky music in the comfort of my own home dammit!
Well That Should Be Depressing But Cool
Cat Power released some new tour dates, and one of them involve her playing a double gig with none other than gloom rockers Interpol. Considering how the two aim to make people weep or become depressed with their sad sad songs, you might wanna keep the suicide hotline on your speed dial in case you go to this show.
Cat Power and Interpol unite for one night to make the world weep:
08-17 Dallas, TX - Granada Theater (with Dirty Delta Blues) *
09-14 New York, NY - Madison Square Garden ^
09-19 San Francisco, CA - The Fillmore (with Dirty Delta Blues)
09-21 Los Angeles, CA - The Avalon (with Dirty Delta Blues)
10-13 Fairburn, GA - Bouckaert Farm (The Echo Project)
10-14 Norfolk, VA - The Norva
10-15 Washington, DC - 9:30 Club
10-16 Carrboro, NC - Cat's Cradle
10-18 Tallahassee, FL - The Moon
10-19 Savannah, GA - Trustee's Theatre
10-20 Orlando, FL - The Club @ Firestone
10-21 St. Petersburg, FL - State Theatre
10-25 São Paulo, Brazil - Auditório Ibirapuera (TIM Festival) (with Dirty Delta Blues) #
10-26 Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - Marina da Glória (TIM Festival) (with Dirty Delta Blues) $
* with Micah P. Hinson
^ with Interpol
# with Antony and the Johnsons, Toni Platão
$ with Feist
Now THAT Is A Hip Hop Supergroup
On Kanye West's recent Can't Tell Me Nothin' mixtape there was a song that credited to a group called CRS, or Child Rebel Soldiers. Who are Child Rebel Soldiers? Evidently they consist of SNV approved hip hop artists Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco, and Pharrell Williams. And they plan to record more material in the future.
The super duper group of hip hop stars hope to cut an album. Said Lupe Fiasco about the project: "Now [our labels are] working it out. Whoever is going to pay is going to pay a whole hell of a lot. Everybody is excited." Man, they've only made one song and already they're better than anything G-Unit has ever done. Individually or as a whole.
However, Lupe also had some iffy words about his career in music: "I'm just wearing down…I'm never doing mixtapes again, not even Internet ones. My whole energy for making hip-hop music is slowing down. I've been doing it for seven years. I still don't think I'm famous. I'll do what I have to do to promote my next album, but I'm not enthused about doing seven albums. I'll do my three, and then I am going to keep moving to the next phase of life and maybe grow trees." Oh stop complaining and give me my hip hop album about zombie gangstas. Hippie.
Fiasco also has a few performances coming up. Unless he decides he wants to devote more time to growing trees. You know I have a friend of a friend who goes off on some tree growing expedition every summer. They plant trees and live out in shacks and everything. Of course, they're actually working for a paper company who in ten years will chop the trees down to make more paper so the whole cause is actually pretty stupid. Plus the friend of a friend ended up having sex with a dirty lumberjack….You'd think I'd be making that up, but no, that is actually a true story. Which makes it all the more sad. Anyway, here's Lupe's dates.
Hip hop hippie:
08-16 Auckland, New Zealand - The Studio
08-18 Wanaka, New Zealand - Snowpark (MTV Snow Jam)
08-21 Sydney, Australia - The Forum
09-03 Seattle, WA - Bumbershoot Festival
They Only Want You When You're Seventeen, When You're Twenty-One…Well They Still Want You But Not As Much Really
Although I'd like to believe they still want you the same amount…Because I turn 21 on Sunday…I kinda like being wanted.
Ladytron will soon be off, gallivanting around the world playing their icy cold electro music. For some reason their music always reminds me of winter, most likely because I listened to Witching Hour a lot last winter. Seriously, I get frostbite when I listen to that album.
No word on a new album, but I imagine once they figure out which synthesizer sounds the saddest they'll be in the studio.
"Sugar" is about cocaine! Tell the media!:
08-16 Salzburg, Austria - Frequency Festival *
08-18 Burgos, Spain - Sonorama Festival
08-24 Trondheim, Norway - Pstero
08-25 Liverpool, England - Creamfields Festival
08-26 Oudenaarde, Belgium - "Feest in het Park" Festival
08-28 Birmingham, England - Birmingham Academy #
08-30 Wolverhampton, England - Civic Hall #
08-31 London, England - ULU
09-01 Stradbally, Ireland - Electric Picnic
09-03 Ibiza, Spain - Rogue @ Eden *
09-20 Berlin, Germany - Popkomm
09-22 Brooklyn, NY - McCarren Park Pool ^
09-26 San Diego, CA - 4th and B
09-27 Los Angeles, CA - Hollywood Bowl %
09-29 San Francisco, CA - Mezzanine
09-30 San Francisco, CA - Folsom Street Festival
10-06 Zaragoza, Spain - FIZ Festival *
10-08 Minehead, England - Butlins Holiday Centre (Portishead ATP)
* DJ set
# with Nine Inch Nails
^ with the Chemical Brothers
% with Pet Shop Boys
RAPIDFIRE NEWS SMARTASSERY!!
Well the big news this week seems to be that 50 Cent is a complete and utter jackass. I mean, I've always known the guy to be a moronic, untalented lump of clay but he's showing levels of ignorance and idiocy beyond all previous records. So, because he did enough this week to warrant it, it's time for:
RAPIDFIRE 50 CENTERY!!
So what has Fiddy done to deserve a whole section of the RAPIDFIRE to be devoted to him? Well, on September 11 his album will come out against Kanye West's album and it's now turned into a feud. Of course, Kanye has deserved not to say anything as of yet, but Fiddy has been running his mouth off non-stop to draw attention to himself. I mean, when you're acting like more of an opinionated prick than Kanye West, you have major problems.
Now I've always said 50 Cent's music is terrible, and never have I felt more justified in saying that than when I saw this quote from Fiddy: "I don't get trophies, I get checks." So basically he's saying that he doesn't care about making quality music, he just wants the thing out so he can get his check on time. Well that's nice for his fanbase to know.
I also read this little gem in Phil Watts Jr.'s column the other day: "Nas is a really smart guy. He reads books constantly. We were around him on the Nastradamus tour. He was almost weirder than me 'cause we would go to breakfast and he'd be there reading a book. Conceptually, I think that's what made him drift away from what his initial audience enjoys from him and why he's not hot right now….He's feeding you too much information in the music and they don't actually want it. He's like a teacher. I was in love with KRS-One when he came with "Criminal Minded" and "The Bridge Is Over." That was theme music to what was going on at that time. And when he started teaching, he lost them. 'Cause it was like, "What is he talkin' about?"
….My god this man is stupid. I mean, this is a special brand of idiocy. Now I can't claim to knowing much about the work of KRS-One and Nas, but saying that the reason why they're not as popular right now is because they try to say something or educate people with their music instead of saying "GEEEE-U-NIT!!" every five seconds? This is a very dumb man.
But, there is a silver lining to all this. Fiddy has declared that if Kanye West's album Graduation sells more than his album Curtis, he will never release solo material again. This is our chance people! For god's sake buy Kanye's album! Hell buy three! We can put an end to this jacked up jackass' reign of shitty gangster rap! And maybe even his even shittier acting career! Do it for the children people, for the love of God do it for the children!
Man, Fiddy is a shitty actor. A shitty shitty actor. Have you seen Get Rich Or Die Tryin'? Because, seriously, he deserves a tenth bullet for that.
And now, other stuff.
Amy Winehouse had to cancel some show due to, ahem, "exhaustion". Hoo boy, that old gag. Hey Amy, last time I checked the typical treatment for exhaustion didn't involve an adrenaline shot to restart your heart!
Winehouse also had to pull out of two gigs where she would open for the Rolling Stones, because, well, can you imagine her and Keith Richards in the same place at the same time? I don't know how that night would end but I imagine it would involve a bodybag, a donkey, a cruise ship captain and a whole lot of cocaine laced with acid, heroin and the remains of Keith's father.
Speaking of brit pop stars with problems, Lily Allen has gotten herself into a bit of a pickle when her US work visa was pulled after an incident involving a photographer. Oh come on, a pop star assaulted a photographer, it seems to happen all the time now. Give the girl a work visa and let her come over here and cuss about how small her ex-boyfriend's penis is. We deserve that right!
Willie Nelson will play at a pro-marijuana show. Although, basically any Willie Nelson concert is a pro-marijuana show so it's quite redundant.
Starbucks' record label will release a live album by James Taylor. Because after you've drank so much coffee you're going to need something to help you fall asleep.
AT&T recently censored a Pearl Jam concert that was being broadcasted on the internet after lead singer Eddie Vedder made negative remarks about George W. Bush. This was since opened up debate about censorship on the internet and the whole issue of net neutrality. Dammit Eddie, can't you open your mouth and not radically alter the world! I bet next time he'll say something about Ellen Degeneres and suddenly riots will break out over gay marriage. Stop talking Eddie before you kill us all!
The Osmond family are reuniting to play some shows because senior citizens are easily amused. If you're under 55 and you're attending an Osmond family show you're in the wrong place.
George Michael began his community service as a gardener this week. And you know, if The freakin' Osmond's can reunite, I don't see why Wham! can't. Dammit George, reunite Wham! for the children of the world! Or at least for the other guy in Wham! The rent on his one bedroom studio apartment is probably due!
Garth Brooks may be about to mount a comeback. I say screw that, I want to see the return of Chris Gaines! All aboard the Gaines train! WHOO WHOO!
American Idol finalists of this year are rushing to get their respective albums out by Thanksgiving. Because when you rush an album it always yields great results!
Elvis Presley has been dead for 30 years now….Or so they want you to think!...They being Elvis' family. Seriously, he's dead. Or he's fighting mummies somewhere, who knows?
The reunited Van Halen tour with David Lee Roth has begun again. And should end any day now. Just give David some liquor and you got yourself a show!
In a photo spread to go along with an interview in Harper's Bazaar, Courtney Love will pose nude….Remind me to vomit after I've written this column, alrighty?
The Wu-Tang Clan will cover The Beatles' song "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" with George Harrison's son Dhani Harrison accompanying them on acoustic guitar….Did any of that make sense to you? Because I was lost after "The Wu-Tang Clan will cover The Beatles".
Lindsay Lohan's former bodyguard Tony Almeida recently made a statement claiming that the star's wild behaviour was due to her parents not giving her boundaries and structure as a child. Also, she had sex with Aaron Carter when she was 15 and she was suicidal as a teen. Now these made seem like outlandish claims that could be made by anyone, but you have to take into consideration that these words came from Tony fuckin' Almeida.
If you can't trust him who can you trust?
Man, he goes from helping Jack Bauer save the world from international terrorists to protecting the chick from The Parent Trap. How the mighty have fallen Mr. Almeida.
And finally in sad news, Tony Wilson, the man behind bands like Joy Division, New Order and Happy Mondays and a man who was influential in changing the British music scene passed away at the age of 57. In honour of the man, let's have a clip:
Ah hell, let's have another:
God speed Tony, God speed.
Billboard Top 20
1. Common, Finding Forever – Reeeally? Huh, good for Common. Apparently, it's not as good as Be was but it was still damn good enough to shoot up to number one on the charts. That is a pretty damn impressive feat. Rock on Common.
2. Korn, Untitled – Korn still makes albums?! Really?! And people still buy them?! REALLY?! Come on people, I will admit that I too went through a brief Korn phase in my youth ("Freak On A Leash" is kind of catchy, what with all the "ooga boogas" and "chimichangas" thrown in) but I grew out of it. Jesus, if Limp Bizkit ever makes another album and people buy it, I'll…I'll…Well I'll probably just write something mean and nasty. So you've been warned!
3. Various Artists, NOW 25 – If you build it, stupid people will buy it.
4. Various Artists, Hairspray Soundtrack – Everybody seems to love this but me. But then again I hate Grease too, so maybe I just hate cheesy schmaltzy musicals.
5. Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana 2 Soundtrack/Meet Miley Cyrus – Hey Common, by any chance could you pop a cap in this white girl's ass?
6. Sean Kingston, Sean Kingston – Who?
7. Kidz Bop Kids, Kidz Bop 12 – OOHHH!! What the hell people?!! Kidz Bop?! What are you doing to your ears?! Why are you raping your own ears with this?! You self mutilating masochists! Cut it out!
8. T.I., T.I. Vs. T.I.P. – T.I.P. is like V.I.P. So T.I.P. means…Um, what the hell is T.I.P. supposed to stand for anyhow? I don't think T.I. thinks these things through.
9. Fergie, The Dutchess – Almost makes me wish for the agony that is the Black Eyed Peas. That's how bad this is.
10. Linkin Park, Minutes To Midnight – Linkin Park and Korn in the top ten. It's like the late ‘90's all over again.
11. Prince, Planet Earth – Envisioning Prince as some mystical creature that watches over the planet isn't really all that crazy a notion really. Actually it makes a whole lot of sense.
12. Amy Winehouse, Back To Black – She does heroin in order to drown out the voice of Don Knotts whose ghost lives in her china cabinet.
13. Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift – Smells like pine trees.
14. Nickelback, All The Right Reasons – I've written so many way in which I hate this album that it exhausts me just to see it on the list every week. You'd think that every moron who liked Nickelback would already have a copy of this shit but week after week some magic band of retards go out and grab copies of this by the dozen. Go back to where you came from Chad! No wait he's from Canada…On second thought, go as far away from where you came from as possible. And when you get there, shut the fuck up.
15. Bon Jovi, Lost Highway -
16. Rihanna, Good Girl Gone Bad – Never before has an umbrella sounded so hot. I wonder what she'll try to make sound sexy next. Maybe a ceiling fan. I would buy a CD if there was a song about a ceiling fan on it. But then, I'm old fashioned.
17. Plain White T's, Every Second Counts – Hmmm, don't care.
18. Maroon 5, It Won't Be Soon Before Long – Next time rip off a sound that I give a damn about.
19. T-Pain, Epiphany – More like T-Lame! Oh burn!
20. Michael Buble, Call Me Irresponsible – What do you mean you forgot to pick up the kids from soccer practice?! Damn you Buble and your irresponsibility!
Important New Releases Of The Week….According To Me
Okkervil River have always been liked a lot by the indie crowd. I can't say I know too much about them as this is the first Okkervil River album I've ever heard. But I may check out some of their older work as this album is quite stellar. It definitely has potential to be a grower and really win me over. The lyrics are descriptive and clever and the songs are catchy yet emotional. They actually sound somewhat Spoon-esque, which is a good thing. It's all very well done and is probably the best album I've heard this month so far.
Lesbian twin sisters. Damn, with a hook like that who cares what kind of music they play? Fortunately, Tegan & Sara are quite adept at the indie pop they play. They've always been a guilty pleasure of mine, I even liked So Jealous despite the poor reviews. Gaining popularity in the mainstream music world, these alternate livestyle loving wonder twins have been producing quality indie pop for years now. So don't be surprised if some of the songs off this album appear on Grey's Anatomy or in an iPod commercial. The album also seems to be aiming for controversy, talking about gay marriage which always gets people so gosh darned angry. Oh you lesbians and your rabble-rousing.
This album was released rather silently back in May, so silently I had previously never heard of these guys. But after listening to this album it's quite obvious that these guys are too awesome for anonymity. Of course this might just because I'm a major fan of 80's music, I believe the 80's have some of the best and catchiest music ever made. And Chromeo have quite obviously taken all of their musical cues from the neon decade, as this album is chock full of synth pop and electrofunk so good it'll make you wish for a sidewalk that lights up as you walk and a baby blue pastel suit that you can rolls the sleeves up of. The only real misstep here is "Outta Sight" which unintentionally cops the hook from "1999" by Prince, but even with that accidental plagiarism the song is great. Really, it's just cheesy good 80's pop, and if that's up your alley, then pick this up.
The Greatest Video Ever Made Of The Week
The Go! Team, "Doing It Right"
From the upcoming album Proof Of Life, 2007
It's more Go! Team goodness as I continue to get pumped for their new album. Screw Kanye vs. Fiddy, I'm looking forward to The Go! Team on September 11. This video is more of the usual insanity from The Go! Team, marching bands, cat people, the Loch Ness Monster, and lots and lots of chanting. Oh gods yes, the chanting. Can't wait, Ninja better not let me down!
Support The Municipality!!
The 411 Top 100 Albums List is up (or is it down?) to #60-51. My favourite of this decade only made it to this point, even though it made my personal top ten of all time. Damn you controversial lists!
Huh, Ian Wright likes indie music. When did that happen?
Fact Or Fiction is once again graced with the presence of Evocator Manes (he's a wizard I tell you!) and Daniel Wilcox. According to Wilcox, in the UK there's actually a NOW 67…We're doomed.
Loop Diggin' Thursdays is a helluva read by Phil Watts Jr. as always. Usually I don't link to it because it's usually posted on Thursday and then I forget about it by the time my column needs to be put up. But check it out if you're into the whole hip hop thang. Phil seems to know quite a damn lot about it.
And finally Mikey MiGo talks about his most anticipated albums of the fall. Although, I question his putting Kid Rock on there, but to each their own, I guess…Seriously though dude, Kid Rock?
IT'S OVER
I miss Tony Almeida, 24 hasn't been the same since he died. Although he did get killed by Buckaroo Banzai, if you're gonna go that's certainly the way to do it.
And thus, another column stuffed full of more stuff than an overstuffed Oreo is finished. And now I want to eat some Oreos too. I'm off to enjoy my birthday, it may be on Sunday, but that doesn't mean I can't start the celebration early and spend the entire week in a drunken stupor. Hooray for alcoholism! Till next week folks, continuing doing that thing that you're doing.
