411 Music Fact Or Fiction: Week 23
Posted by Mitch Michaels on 08.20.2007
EM and Ben Czajkowski bring the anger this week as they discuss censorship, Imus, the Van Halen tour and more!
Welcome back to the Catch twenty-second edition of the 411 Music Zone's Fact Or Fiction. Each week, two writers will be given statements regarding hot, up-to-the-minute music news and make a case as to whether that statement is fact or complete and utter bullshit (ie, fiction). And, just for the fuck of it, I'll be here to tally up how many times the writers agree. Got it?
It's Round 3 of the EM Championship Series. Each week, another 411 staffer will sit in the hot seat across from our beloved longtime contributor, you know him as the devil, I know him as EM and his dad knows him as a former tax writeoff, Evocator Manes. In week three, EM takes on the music columnist who none of us could live without, Ben Czajkowski.
Here we go…
1. After the negative coverage of the Pearl Jam/AT&T censorship issue, instances of censorship in music should begin to see a decline.
EM: FICTION. Congratulations, a basically unanswerable question, Mitch. I will say fiction, as the very act of editing down songs for radio-play will continue unabated and is, by very definition, a censoring of the artist's original words and intents, most particularly in "gangsta" rap. I will qualify this by saying it really depends on what one considers "censorship", however, which is not the question being asked here.
Ben Czajkowski: FICTION. Oh come the fuck on. Some comments were made blah blah blah blah blah. Artists have been using the mic as a podium for as long as they've been on stage. They have a captive audience; might as well take some pot shots at whatever. Sure, it's fun to talk about, but if you're a Pearl Jam fan, you know how Vedder feels about the government. It came as no surprise to me, either, that it was censored. Nowadays, everything is so fucking PC (except this column). You can't offend anyone and you always gotta be careful in what you say. When they start taking Parental Warning labels off CDs and when the FCC dissolves, that's when you'll see a decline in censorship.
Score: Another Brick In The Wall, Part 1 (for 1)
2. A Notorious B.I.G. documentary featuring an unknown actor has disaster written all over it.
EM: FACT. Who really cares anymore? This has already been done to death. Goddamn, just leave it alone.
Ben Czajkowski: FACT. Biggie Smalls. Biggie Smalls. Biggie Smalls. Too bad he ain't show up in my bathroom and pop a cap in my ass. South Park fans will know what I'm rapping 'bout. Word. You know, how many famous dead people have living idiots tried to capitalize on them? 2Pac. Elvis. Just a fucking way to make try money, but will it work? Probably not. Rap is in such a huge decline right now because it's lost all of its credibility. It's no longer "gangsta." Even if this fucking waste of film included a known actor, it wouldn't matter: no one is going to watch it unless they're sitting at home, sippin' on gin and juice.
Score: Phone bill about two (for 2) G's flat/No need to worry, my accountant handles that
3. The Garth Brooks/Wal*Mart agreement was no more than a good marketing tool to keep Brooks' name out there during his downtime.
EM: FICTION. That deal was nothing more than Garth Brooks cashing in while the cashing was good. Smart thing because Garth Brooks means less and less. He's already down to releasing box sets, which usually spells the end of an artist's relevancy. Perhaps he can go back to the Chris Gaines persona, since that did so remarkably well...
Ben Czajkowski: FICTION. Who? Garth who? Oh yeah...I vaguely remember him. He was popular, like, yesterday...I don't even know if it was a good marketing tool. I shop at Wally*World all the time, and I've never seen/heard/smelled anything about Brooks and a promotion. And artists have their downtown. It's when they have a downtime and maintain a fanbase that you know they're the real deal. If Brooks needs a gimmick to keep his fans around when he's not putting out new music, well, then...However, keep in mind, it is country music. It's pure crap. Yes, I did just say that.
Score: Three (for 3) thirty in the morning/Not a soul in sight/The city's lookin' like a ghost town/On a moonless summer night
INXS says SWITCH!
4. The upcoming Martin Scorsese-directed Rolling Stones concert documentary
will be completely forgettable.
Ben Czajkowski: FICTION. Uh. Martin Scorsese. The guy who just won that Oscar thing right? Maybe I'm wrong. Who knows. I tend not to get my facts straight for these things. My point is that a director, in my honest opinion, does not make a movie. However, it does help to have someone do this movie that has Scorsese's reputation. I half expect this movie to include -some- kind of gang violence. I'll settle for Keith Richards, though. The Stones have an immense popularity across generations that I think will make this a solid music documentary. At least, I'll bet, it will be better than Some Kind of Monster. You know what I'm talking about.
EM: FACT. The Rolling Stones themselves are now completely forgettable.
Score: I close my eyes/It's three (for 4) in the afternoon/And I realize/That she's really gone for good
5. The announced Van Halen dates will go off, but you can forget about a second leg.
Ben Czajkowski: FACT. With the recent announcement of David Lee Roth rejoining the band for the tour, I think that will be a huge draw for fans, young and old. However, I don't think that the history between the bandmates is going to go away as easy as many people expect. After like 100 years of bickering between them, I think being cramped on a bus, sweating on stage every night, tempers are going to flare. Twenty two days on the road might be good enough. (Ed. Note: There's actually 26 dates set for over two months) Hell, I don't even want to spend three weeks with the people I pretend to love the most. I barely want to spend three hours with them.
EM: FACT. Didn't I just answer this fucking question last week? Mitch "Recycler" Michaels...next! (Ed. Note: Actually, last week I asked if the tour would be successful. Not to mention you said the "over/under" was an even dozen dates. Which would make your answer FICTION, "Forgetful" Manes)
Score: 1984 (for 5)
6. Imus can make a comeback.
Ben Czajkowski: FICTION. I don't know who the f*ck this guy is. (Ed. Note: Ben censored his own fuck there. I was tempted to add the "u", but would that in itself be censorship?)Maybe I've been living in a sandbox for the last however many years he was on the radio. So, I Googled him. This guy is 67 years old. He's ancient. He's a shock jock. When will radio learn that there is only one shock jock: Harry Carey, and he's in the grave now. Howard Stern is just a fucking moron (coincidently, I work for his cousin) with a microphone that likes boobs. Morning radio is a joke, too, so don't go saying, what about Bob and Tom. F*ck them. Anyway, back to Imus. I have to respect Imus for his comment on calling the team "some nappy headed hos." That takes some balls. However, I don't think that him saying something like that is really going to make -more- people listen to him. Face it. Radio is dead. And this guy will be soon, too.
***Disclaimer - If Ben Czajkowski has said anything that's offensive to you, don't email Mitch; email Ben.***
EM: FACT. Given the rather low level he was at and the recent publicity surrounding him, he should be restored to more or less where he left off in terms of notoriety and general public giving-a-shit shortly. Since we're adding disclaimers, here's mine:
***Disclaimer - If EM has said anything you disagree with, you are wrong and a moron and should promptly kill yourself as soon as you read the period (it's that little dot thing) at the end of this sentence.***
(Ed. Note: Mitch Michaels, Music Fact or Fiction nor 411mania and its affiliates endorse suicide. Unless you like "High School Musical 2". Or Alter Bridge. Or The Beatles.
Like REALLY a huge Beatles fan, not just a person who appreciates their music.
Or if you were in high school band.
Or the golf team.)
Final Score: What the fuck were we even talking about? 4 (for 6)
So much ANGER this week. Ben and EM don't like ANYTHING. I was kind of sad that everybody shit on my Garth Brooks question and then didn't figure Van Halen would blow up before the end of this leg of their tour, but to each his own. We'll call it even this week. Tie goes to the Lord Of The EM Championship Series, Evocator Manes.
Thanks to Ben, EM and YOU, John Q. BiggieMovieHopeful for dropping by this week. Be on the lookout for more Music Fact Or Fiction!
