Sex, News & Violins 8.22.07
Posted by Jamie Buttineau on 08.22.2007
The Flaming Lips fight wizards and dragons, The National tour internationally, The Jesus and Mary Chain are resurrected, and we discover what happened to some of our favorite lesbians. Because what good is a missing lesbian?
Superbad was predictably quite awesome. So far that and Hot Rod are two of the best theatre experiences I've had in quite some time. Well done Hollywood, you still can be funny sometimes.
And now, music things.
Viewer Mail
This one comes from James Palm, who earns my respect by entitling it "Sex, News & Violins Feedbackery":
Hey there, Internet man. I just wanted to drop you a line to say a big
ol'
thank you from the bottom of my heart. In a little over a week, I'll be
hopping onto a plane to jetset around the world for the first time, and
it's
all your fault.
Back in April, you posted the line-up for the Electric Picnic festival
in
Ireland, saying that if you had the money you'd totally go. I read your
article, and thought to myself "That IS a good line-up...and I DO have
enough money..." So began months of planning and now the time is almost
here. I will be flying all the way from Perth, Australia (that's a long
fucking way away, by the way... way) to go see what looks to be an
awesome
festival.
Afterwards, I'm cruising around eastern Europe for a month, which
should be
ginchy. So thank you Jamie, for alerting me to this festival, and for
writing a topnotch article every week. I laugh the whole way through.
We
seem to share similar loves and hatreds (more Fallout Boy insults!).
Keep up the good work.
Jim
Cool! I sent a guy to Ireland! A guy from Australia no less! Furthermore, I have readers in Australia! Damn James, I think your email just blew my mind a little. Have fun buddy. Who knows, maybe you'll run into Ian Wright. And then your year would be complete.
Also, I like the title of "Internet Man". I feel like a superhero...Granted the kind of superhero whose superpower revolves around him sitting in front of a computer screen all day...Not really much of a superpower to be honest.
And this next letter is from the Irish sensation himself, Ian Wright:
Black Sheep Boy.
Phenominal.
This is of course in reference to Okkervil River, a band whose album I recommended last week. I'll probably check out Black Sheep Boy this week, just to see if it lives up to the hype.
Coming To You Live From A Series Of Tubes
The New Pornographers, "Your Rights Versus Mine"
Live from Late Show With David Letterman, August 20, 2007
A very good performance from the pornos, good harmonies and everything. Neko Case even makes an appearance. I haven't heard very good things about the new album, in fact I'm surprised by how poorly it's being received. Guess I'll have to see for myself.
Headlines!
Mouths On Fire
The Flaming Lips are bringing their unique (to say the least) brand of cosmic bizarrity on tour yet again. Seriously, if you can get the chance to go see Wayne Coyne and his band of weirdo hippie freaksters live in person then you should seize that opportunity and run with it! Run like the wind! Dates!
Take lots of vitamins:
08-25 San Diego, CA - Ace Parking Lot %
09-07 Chicago, IL - Aragon Theater *
09-08 Madison, WI - Willow Island ^
09-09 Minneapolis, MN - The Myth *
09-12 Kansas City, MO - Uptown Theater *
09-15 Morrison, CO - Red Rocks Amphitheatre (Monolith Festival)
09-16 Las Vegas, NV - Skin Pool @ Palms Hotel
09-18 Vancouver, British Columbia - Orpheum Theater *
09-19 Portland, OR - Roseland Theater *
09-20 Seattle, WA - Paramount Theater *
09-24 San Antonio, TX - Sunset Station Lonestar Pavilion
09-25 Austin, TX - La Zona Rosa
09-28 Saint Louis, MO - The Pageant
09-30 Cleveland, OH - Agora Theatre
10-01 Pontiac, MI - Clutch Cargo's
10-03 Charlotte, NC - Amos' Southend
10-12-14 Atlanta, GA - Bouckaert Farm (Echo Project Festival)
% with Z-Trip, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
* with Black Moth Super Rainbow
^ with Cold War Kids
I Would Probably Mistake Them For Strangers. But Then I Don't Know Them That Well
Ian Wright's bestest buddy boys The National have added more dates to their tour itinerary. To be honest, it's a pretty big fucking tour. I mean massive, there are dates here from September all the way to December. That's four straight months of rocking. And you wonder why rock stars do so much heroin, they gotta pass the time somehow!
They've also managed to get some pretty decent touring partners, with Blonde Redhead, St. Vincent and The Rosebuds among others opening for them. Seems like a pretty good time.
Sting like a bee:
09-04 Philadelphia, PA - Theater of Living Arts %$
09-05 Washington, DC - 9:30 Club %$
09-06 Washington, DC - 9:30 Club %$
09-07 Carrboro, NC - Cat's Cradle %$
09-08 Atlanta, GA - Variety Playhouse %$
09-10 Orlando, FL - The Club @ Firestone %$
09-11 Tallahassee, FL - Club Downunder %$
09-12 Birmingham, AL - The Bottletree %$
09-14 Dallas, TX - Grenada Theater @
09-15 Austin, TX - Emo's ^
09-16 Austin, TX - Zilker Park (Austin City Limits Festival)
09-18 Denver, CO - Ogden Theater @
09-19 Omaha, NE - Slowdown @ @
09-20 Minneapolis, MN - Fine Line @
09-21 Milwaukee, WI - Pabst Theater @
09-22 Chicago, IL - The Vic @
09-23 Cincinnati, OH - Madison Theater @
09-27 San Diego, CA - Casbah @
09-28 Los Angeles, CA - The Wiltern @
09-29 San Francisco, CA - Ballroom @
10-01 Portland, OR - Crystal Ballroom @
10-02 Seattle, WA - Showbox @
10-03 Vancouver, British Columbia - Commodore Ballroom @
10-06 Boston, MA - Roxy
10-07 Montreal, Quebec - Le National
10-08 Toronto, Ontario - Phoenix Concert Hall
10-11 New York, NY - Terminal 5 @
10-30 Dublin, Ireland - Ambassador Theatre @
10-31 Belfast, Northern Ireland - Spring + Airbrake @
11-01 Dublin, Ireland - Olympia Theatre @
11-02 Glasgow, Scotland - ABC @
11-03 Sheffield, England - Leadmill @
11-04 Manchester, England - Academy 2 @
11-06 Birmingham, England - Irish Centre @
11-07 London, England - Shepherds Bush Empire @
11-09 Bristol, England - Anson Rooms @
11-10 Portsmouth, England - Pyramids @
11-12 Brussels, Belgium - AB !
11-13 Reims, France - La Cartonnerie !
11-14 Paris, France - Elysée Montmartre !
11-15 Rennes, France - Ubu Club !
11-16 Toulouse, France - La Nef !
11-17 Barcelona, Spain - Apolo !
11-19 Clermont-Ferrand, France - The Cooperative De Mai !
11-20 Lausanne, Switzerland - Le Romandie !
11-21 Milan, Italy - Transilvania !
11-22 Zurich, Switzerland - Abart !
11-23 Zagreb, Croatia - KSET !
11-24 Vienna, Austria - Szene Wien !
11-26 Stuttgart, Germany - Schocken 12 !
11-27 Cologne, Germany - Prime Club !
11-28 Amsterdam, Holland - Melkweg !
11-30 Copenhagen, Denmark - Lille Vega !
12-01 Stockholm, Sweden - Debaser !
12-02 Oslo, Norway - John Dee !
12-03 Malmo, Sweden - KB !
12-05 Hamburg, Germany - Knust !
12-06 Berlin, Germany - Postbahnhof !
* with Takka Takka, the Forms
% with the Rosebuds
$ with Doveman
@ with St. Vincent
^ with Blonde Redhead
! with Hayden
Noisy
The Jesus And Mary Chain are pretty much fully reunited. They got dates lined up and there's word of a new album, that's basically the only things you need for an official reunion. It's not exactly a sizable tour as of yet, but then they just got back together so they're probably just getting used to being noticed again. Anyway, let's see what's doing with those dates.
Off the chain:
08-25 Paris, France - Rock en Seine
08-31 Argyll, Scotland - Connect Festival
09-01 Stradbally, Ireland - Electric Picnic
09-07 London, England – Brixton Academy
10-20 Las Vegas, NV - House of Blues *
10-22 Anaheim, CA - House of Blues *
10-23 Los Angeles, CA - Wiltern Theatre *#
10-26 San Francisco, CA - The Fillmore *#
10-27 San Francisco, CA - The Fillmore *#
* with Evan Dando (solo acoustic)
# with Soulsavers (featuring Mark Lanegan
Lesbian Watch
The middle one is a girl. The one in the suit and bowtie. The one with the facial stubble. That is a female lady woman. I just blew your mind.
This is of course Le Tigre, the greatest group of lesbians since Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossi. They haven't done anything of note since they put out the critically ravaged This Island back in 2004 (although I liked it). For a while it's been assumed that the band had split up however a recent post on their website has stated they are merely on a break. Whether the break is permanent or not has not been determined.
Anyway, there's news of a live CD/DVD being put out sometime soon. And in the meantime JD Samson (the one in the suit…Seriously, it's a girl) is doing some DJ dates with fellow member Johanna Fatemen in a group called Men and Kathleen Hanna is teaching university art classes. This doesn't seem like much of a story but I was just shocked to see Le Tigre news of any sort so I just threw this in here. So, there you go.
RAPIDFIRE NEWS SMARTASSERY!!
In rather sizable news, Amy Winehouse has cancelled her entire US tour. But don't blame her, it's not her fault. You see she believes that Americans are actually descendents of mole people from the planet Barbados 7, and they're conspiring with the gnomes that live in her ankles to take over the world by turning the children of earth into milktruck drivers. Because if everyone is driving a milktruck, who has time to stop an invasion by the mole people?! It's common sense people! Good eye Amy, good eye.
And a special shoutout to 411music's own Brandon Ratliff for giving me that newsbit. I think all fellow staff members should be giving me news items. What's your excuse Daniel Wilcox?!
Britney Spears drinks in front of her kids, makes them wear teeth whitening strips, and hires nannies based on how young they are, how much they party and if they think she's pretty….Soooo, I guess Christina Aguilera won in the end didn't she?
Uncle Kracker, who hasn't been relevant in any way for about 3 years now, was arrested on charges of committing a lewd sexual act against a female patron at the Ess Lounge in Raleigh, NC. Evidently saying that he used to be the DJ for Kid Rock doesn't get him laid like it used to in 2001 so he's resorted to this.
In yet another case of violent tosses, Foxy Brown threw her Blackberry at a neighbour. Man, don't ever give this chick ninja throwing stars, you're just asking for trouble.
As part of his plea bargain due to recent drug possession charges, Method Man will go to 15 different schools to give motivational speeches about the dangers of drugs. He will then buy drugs from the students.
Lindsay Lohan apparently wants to record a third album. Well, in the past people with substance abuse problems have managed to put out good music so maybe this could work. But she'll have to be reeeeeeally coked up.
Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band are recording a new rock album. Prepare yourself for awesomeness or extreme disappointment.
Neil Young will also release a new album. I would wonder if he was going to say anything political but of course that's not his style.
There is going to be no Radiohead album this year. Why do you torture Ian Wright so Thom Yorke? Is that how you get your jollies?! Sicko!
Avril Lavigne, Sheryl Crow and Fiona Apple will team up for a show. I like how they're billed in order of crap, boring and awesome. That's efficient.
Dr. Dre is suing Death Row for the rights to his solo debut album The Chronic. Who'll get shot first? Only time will tell!
The Violent Femmes are suing each other because they really have nothing better to do.
Bob Dylan and Elvis Costello are planning to tour together. Granted this news would have been way cooler back in the 70's, but it's still reasonably cool now.
The Counting Crows are releasing another album because dreadlocks don't pay for themselves.
Lily Allen was forced to cancel dates on her US tour because of her suspended work visa. Oh for pete's sake, all she did was punch a photographer. There are people who are actually from here that have done far worse. In fact, is there anyway we can deport Lindsay Lohan? Couldn't we make up some story about her being from Mexico or something?
The Rolling Stones may retire. Yeah, and Keith Richards may die someday. Tell me another fairytale.
And finally, Pete Doherty was arrested this week. There is no number that could ever adequately estimate the amount of times "Pete Doherty" and the word "arrested" have appeared in the same sentence. It's like trying to find the last digit of pi.
Billboard Top 20
1. UGK, Underground Kingz – Um…I feel like I should know who these guys are, but I don't. Sooooo…..Meh?
2. Plies, The Real Testament – Plies?! What the fuck kind of name is Plies? Jesus people, is it that hard to come up with monikers to go by these days? Here, here's a good one, "Erecto Bodacious." You put that on an album cover and you got a winner. I'd set my watch to that name.
3. Various Artists, NOW 25 – Somewhere there is a factory of soulless people eternally churning out NOW albums on some assembly line. I believe that is what Hell is.
4. Miley Cyrus, Hanna Montana 2 Soundtrack/Meet Miley Cyrus – Double the crap in the same package. God I hate you Disney.
5. Jonas Brothers, Jonas Brothers – Oh I so don't care.
6. Various Artists, Hairspray Soundtrack – Is there anything that Queen Latifah has done that hasn't sucked? I thought so.
7. Common, Finding Forever – Still surprised he scored a number one album. Pleasantly surprised but surprised nevertheless.
8. Fergie, The Dutchess – Die in a fiery fiery crash.
9. T.I., T.I. Vs. T.I.P. – Hip hop schizophrenia.
10. Korn, Untitled – They're run out of ideas so badly that they can't even title their own albums anymore.
11. Kidz Bop Kids, Kidz Bop 12 – I wish these children a painful puberty.
12. Linkin Park, Minutes To Midnight – Wrist slitting good!
13. Amy Winehouse, Back To House – Abba uboka slimmy slom diggery wombowyo….Oh sorry, I was speaking in Amy Winehouse's native language that she made up in her head. Of course you don't understand that because you don't understand her! GOD!
14. Sean Kingston, Sean Kingston – Seriously who?
15. Nickelback, All The Right Reasons – Why won't you overdose on something? Hell, anything! Overdose on Rolaids for all I care!
16. Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift – Gets those blood stains right out.
17. Rihanna, Good Girl Gone Bad – A friend pointed out how she looks like an alien and has a large forehead. Which, is pretty accurate.
18. Bon Jovi, Lost Highway -
19. Maroon 5, It Won't Be Soon Before Long – Got to nail Maria Sharapova and then had the audacity to call her a bad lay….God I both hate and envy him.
20. Prince, Planet Earth – Proof that being a short weirdo can sometimes earn you fame and profit.
Important New Releases Of The Week….According To Me
More electric music this week. It's from a British duo, and it's quite competent however what sets it apart from the rest of the genre is this album features the vocal talents of none other than The Go! Team's own Ninja. And if you don't know who Ninja is then shame on you and your pitiful self. It's catchy, it's fun, it's a bunch of random words thrown together, it's Simian Mobile Disco.
The Greatest Video Ever Made Of The Week
The Besnard Lakes, "For Agent 13"
From the album The Besnard Lakes Are The Dark Horse, 2007
Possibly my favourite song off this Montreal band's debut album (well, actually it's their second album but it might as well be their debut since no one's ever heard of their actual debut). Very haunting and beautiful, as is the video which features an old man carrying a small house on his back. And there seems to be tiny people living in the house throwing some kind of ritzy party with pictures everywhere. Of course if my metaphor senses are still in fine order, the house probably represents the burden of having to carry so many sad memories.
Oh yeah, I get metaphors.
Support The Municipality!!
Ian Wright outdoes me this week on the live performance front with a pretty badass performance video by Battles. Those guys are weird. He also wished me a happy birthday, so that could be why I think I've said his name like six times this column. That's how I repay people for gratitude, I say their name a lot. I think it's the least I can do.
The 411 Top 100 Albums list continues with #50-41. Surprisingly a lot of rap and punk in this section. And of course, Prince.
Fact Or Fiction continues the dominance of Evocator Manes as he runs roughshod over Ben Czajkowski. Of course, you know none of this means anything until I take on Evocator one on one myself. Come on Mitch, book it, Jamie Buttineau vs. Evocator Manes in the Fact Or Fiction match of the century! I guarantee dozens upon dozens will turn out to see this clash of the titans. BOOK IT MICHAELS, I WANT EVOCATOR IN THE STEEL CAGE!! I WANT YOU MANES, YOU'RE GONNA FEEL THE WRAITH OF MY DESTRUCITY!! DESTRUCITY!!! AAAARGH!!!!
And finally Mitch Michaels has the low down and dirty on all the news that I didn't or did mention. Read it and enjoy the Mitchy goodness. Mitchtacular.
IT'S OVER
Ian Wright.
Well that does it for this week. I'm off to buy booze and school supplies…By which I mean more booze. Goodnight Australia, may your days be dingo free.
