411 Music Fact Or Fiction: Week 24
Posted by Mitch Michaels on 08.28.2007
EM and John Nagle ponder Amy Winehouse, the success of High School Musical, the Violent Femmes lawsuit and more in the latest Music Fact or Fiction!
Welcome back to the Jack Bauer-like twenty-fourth edition of the 411 Music Zone's Fact Or Fiction. Each week, two writers will be given statements regarding hot, up-to-the-minute music news and make a case as to whether that statement is fact or complete and utter bullshit (ie, fiction). And, just for the fuck of it, I'll be here to tally up how many times the writers agree. Got it?
It's Round 4 of the EM Championship Series. Each week, another 411 staffer will sit in the hot seat across from our beloved longtime contributor, you know him as the devil, I know him as EM and his uncle knows him as a little twerp, Evocator Manes. In week four, EM takes on rookie music reviewer John Nagle.
Here we go…
1. The success of the High School Musical series makes no sense.
EM: FICTION. This is a little like saying the popularity of "Romeo & Juliet" or "West Side Story" or any of the other knockoffs/remakes makes no sense. This is essentially yet another "modern" retelling, albeit one considerably tamer and dumbed-down, though those two particular attributes seem to apply to a lot that gains acceptance and love in the eye of the public.
John Nagle: FICTION. The success of High School Musical makes perfect sense. It's the kind of thing that's destined to be successful. Think about it: Clean cut heartthrob, cute love interest, rudimentary love story and a collection of coldly calculated pop songs. It's not an album, it's a product. If an element doesn't work, Disney will change it. Every member of that cast is replaceable and every song follows a formula. When we music types say things like "The success of High School Musical makes no sense," we are missing the point. We are not the intended audience, ten year old girls with expendable income are. (Ed. Note: In my defense, I was thinking of the adults that enjoy the HSM albums.)
Score: Everybody, one for all and all for one!/All for one, one (for 1)!
2. Kanye West's first week sales will destroy 50 Cent's come September 11.
EM: FACT. Actually, I couldn't care less. I will neither hear nor buy either. Kanye also has publicly stated he could care less, so I choose the parallel this time.
John Nagle: FACT. I think "destroy" might be a little strong, but Kanye will probably have the upper hand. Kanye is more consistent, and actually cares about his music. I really don't care either way though, because this is the most pointless feud since Vince Neil challenged Axl Rose to a boxing match.
Score: So I live by two (fro 2) words, "Fuck you, pay me"
3. The Wu-Tang Clan cover/sampling of "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" is a good
idea.
EM: FACT. This is an idiotic question. Who defines "good" or "bad" ultimately, Mitch? (Ed. Note: Me, motherfucker.) Either the songs work or they don't. The songs that Ghost sampled/remade worked and everything RZA has ever done has not only worked, but worked wildly well (oh!, the alliteration --breathtaking). If RZA is at the helm, this will also work fantastically, as he can do no wrong musically.
John Nagle: FACT. I don't agree with it, because I'm one of those people that think The Beatles should be left alone, but it will definitely help to sell some records. At least the song is in the hands of some capable samplers and not a hack like Diddy.
Score: Three (for 3) Cool Cats
INXS says SWITCH!
4. Given the recent lawsuit, Violent Femmes are over as a band.
John Nagle: FICTION. This lawsuit will not only break up the Violent Femmes, but it will also cause deep wounds that will never fully heal. How do you react when you come home from a tour to find out that your bassist has filed a lawsuit? As of right now, the Violent Femmes are over. Despite what happened, I think a reunion might be in the cards down the line. After all, if Sting and Stewart Copeland can stand each other for a full world tour, anything is possible.
EM: FACT. I love this band, but I also think this is it. Gordon Gano is confused, along with everyone else, by this action, but they had a good run and his solo album did pretty well for what it was, particularly artistically. Gano insists he wrote the songs. Brian Ritchie was certainly a vital element of the band, but if he did not get the songwriting stipulations up front, the big question is why now. As an aside, I think the other guy does not understand this. First he asserts the statement is fiction, as in this is not the end for them, then goes on to directly say that they're over, aside from a possible reunion tour...one (or more) of these things is not like the other...except in Bizarro World.
Score: Love And Me Make Three (for four)
5. Amy Winehouse will bounce back from her "exhaustion".
John Nagle: FICTION. Amy Winehouse does not care about her music career. She has stated this several times. She would rather take care of her junkie husband than continue to belt out mediocre white "soul" (and I use that term loosely) for twenty-something preppy white girls and critics from "Rolling Stone". Now before you go and call me callous and insensitive, let me ask you a question. Why did you buy the Amy Winehouse record? Were you honestly moved by the music you heard, or did you buy into the clever marketing? I know why I bought it. I didn't hear a single song, but I read her "Rolling Stone" cover story. She barely answered any questions and was totally pre-occupied with her husband. Jenny Eliscu described fresh scars on her arm and painted Winehouse as an accident waiting to happen. Words and phrases like "brutally honest," "authentic," and "girl group" were tossed around. I looked at her picture on the cover and decided she looked like Ronnie Spector's slutty granddaughter. Sold! I bought Back To Black the very next day expecting to hear raw emotion. I didn't get raw emotion; I got Norah Jones with a beehive and heavy eyeliner. Amy Winehouse has not become a star on the merit of her music, she has become a star because she is a messed up woman, writing mediocre heartbreak songs. By the time she gets out of rehab (insert pithy one liner here), she will be forgotten. Amy Winehouse is just Joss Stone with an alcohol problem. There are a million female singer songwriters peddling the same wares, and in a couple of months there will be a new one. I can give you a preview right now. She's white, in her early 20s, and plays the piano. The piano is surrounded by a million candles and she sings in a soft voice about how men totally suck. By the way, if Amy Winehouse ever gets compared to the Ronettes again, I am cracking skulls.
EM: FICTION. Goddamn that was a whole lot of words from the other dude about nothing. If that chick is in her 20's, those were some seriously hard years. She looks like total shit. No idea what her music sounds like and couldn't care less. She is completely replaceable.
Score: There'll be none of him no more/I cried for (for 5) you on the kitchen floor
6. With the new fight over rights to Dr. Dre's The Chronic, a re-release can't be far behind.
John Nagle: FICTION. I don't think a reissue of The Chronic is Dre's primary reason for fighting Suge Knight. It reminds me of Paul McCartney fighting Michael Jackson for control of The Beatles catalogue. The Chronic is Dre's most important work, and he should have control of it. I'm sure he sees potential in a deluxe reissue of The Chronic, but this has to do with his pride more than anything.
EM: FACT. Those fuckers re-release everything, so why not an album that sold a million bajillion copies? Again, the other dude seems to be missing the point of the question, stating Fiction as his answer, as in there won't be a re-release, then goes on to discuss Dre's motivations for a potential re-release without even addressing the question. I hereby declare myself the winner (again) this week. This was too easy...that's 4 in a row in a landslide cakewalk...gimme some competition, Mitch. Christ.
Final Score: Word to the motherfuckin' streets/And word to these hyped ass lyrics and dope beats/That I hit ya with/That I get ya with/As I groove in my four (for 6) on deez/Hittin' the switches, bitches/Relax while I get my proper swerve on/Bumpin' like a motherfucker ready to get my serve on
Another week of the EM Championship Series. I'm beat. I actually felt John's Amy Winehouse rant. I had a similar situation with John Mayer and hated that fucker for years. Plus, I loved the "Norah Jones with a beehive" comment. Still, there was this problematic statement: "I'm one of those people that think The Beatles should be left alone." Wrong answer, dude. Don't you know who's judgin' you? EM takes it in a "landslide cakewalk"!
Thanks to John, EM and YOU, John Q. AmyWinehouseDoesItForMe for dropping by this week. Be on the lookout for more Music Fact Or Fiction!
