Adventures In Elysian Fields 09.05.07: Deceptive Distractions

Posted by MSD on 09.05.2007

Brockton makes America's Most Wanted, 50's ready for Kanye, and MSD is really drunk. But what else is new?

Concoct a black and tan in my brandy snifter
I'ma kleptomaniac K-mart shoplifter
Cash flow gettin low so I had to pull a job
Found a nice place to visit but a better place to rob
* Beastie Boys – "High Plains Drifter"


DECEPTIVE DISTRACTIONS
I was speaking with the old man who lives in the apartment below my mothers recently about politics and current events. Somehow conversation found its way back around to JFK, who is a deity to people over 50 out here. Personally JFK is one of my favorite American characters of all time. But for completely different reasons than most his fans. Dude was gangsta before gangster had an "A". My boy was all about bitches and blow like a Rick Ross video (or a George Bush dinner party). This had us gradually discussing the differences between the media of yesteryear and today. Cuz if the bloodthirsty media piranhas of the 1990's got a hold of JFK's sinister back story, he would have bit it harder than Bill Clinton – who is only now being recognized as the great president he was. For some reason, the press seemed their know its role back in the day.

But that had my alcohol-addled mind thinking about today's "War on Terror". What if the media really IS keeping important developments away from us? Which in turn had the marijuana wondering about the remarkable coincidences behind all these bridge collapses lately. Strange how we constantly hear about "red" and "yellow" terror alerts, yet no strikes. Well what if they ARE striking and our media is "protecting" us by keeping us ignorant? But that's highly unlikely cuz you could never expect the media to move as one. All of this left me thinking of that OTHER great American distraction - sports. Specifically those BOSTON CELTICS! Whoowhee baby!

Yeah you probably heard of this already, but phuckk it. This is my column. And the Celtics this summer were on some phenomenal shit. Danny Ainge calls up Kevin McHale on some "I'm gonna lose my job!" shit and lands one of the greatest players in the universe in return. But then he didn't. So he signs up Jesus Shuttleworth on the rebound. Still ain't nobody really checkin it. But check THIS – inspired by the teams off season developments, their original acquisition come through after all! The Big Ticket is here! Suddenly we've a threesome reminiscent of the Bird Holy Trinity and a legitimate chance to go from worst to first. Suddenly the Green is everywhere, splashed on every newspaper cover and adolescent chest piece. Ainge is being hailed a genius, Peezy is telling everybody how grateful he is and big Red smiles down from above, smoking a cigar and polishing off rafter space for #17. Suddenly all is right with the world again.

Now people are talking about Dikembe Mutombo and Reggie Miller (even though it's more like Eddie House and Scott Pollard). People still sweating the HEAT (even after being reminded of last seasons meltdown) got something for their ass too - James Posey. Season tickets sold out, Celtics merchandise everywhere and it's Kermit the Frog all over again: good to be green. I don't care who says three men do not a team make. If King James can single handily take the Cavs to the finals, KG and Peezy (with Ray Allen) definitely can. The East is getting stronger but it's not THAT deep. Don't sleep on the HEAT (and the WIZARDS might make some noise too) but pound for pound the C's got it locked. On paper at least. Intangibles are what they are, but with things as they seem I see the C's going far. So see you at the games, suckers!

BULLETS OVER BROCKTON
Speaking of sports, check the hole in one across the street. Same pad my boys grew up in for the last 12 years. Two steps from my moms door and the home of madd RAVENLOFT sessions over the years. Shot the fuck up twice in the last three days. Not to mention the car torching a week ago. Multiple calibers according to the police, so there's more than one shooter. This is the shit I gotta hear about every time I come through for a visit. Late nights spent on that stoop like drunk stumbling phuckks over the years, carefree. Now young killers are cautious and paranoid, eyeing everything that moves. This is still where my moms rests her head, so it's a burdensome cross to bear. God forbid. And I fear for my boys safety too. 12 years we been locked in this dungeon of Brockton together. And to the memories of those who never escaped we spark an el. I just hope this madness come to a winter chill soon enough (funny that, praying for an East Coast blizzard). Before we lose more family and friends to gang violence. Because retaliation won't be minimal.

I'M THE THUG THAT POPS IZH
Speaking of a fully loaded clip…

50 Cent is still playing the role of bad guy to rap. AllHipHop says while many people believed the feud between Kanye West and 50 Cent ended on the stage at Madison Square Garden August 22 (when the superstar rappers appeared together alongside Jay-Z, P Diddy and T.I., it appears it will not end until September 11 - the day Kanye West's Graduation and 50 Cent's album Curtis hits stores.

50 Cent shot down any notion of Kanye West outselling him on September 11 and also claimed the rapper "sucks." "It's friendly feud but its not possible for Kanye to beat me," 50 Cent said during an interview on AJ's Playhouse on radio station 93.3 in San Diego, California. "It's the 'Teddy Bear' vs. The Gorilla." 50 Cent also charged that West's label Def Jam would not play fair on the day the album hits stores.

"Def Jam is going to buy about 200,000 of them [Kanye's records,]" 50 Cent charged during the interview. "The following week you are going to see a 70% decrease, easy. You know what's gonna happen. Even Jay-Z himself, the first week is huge [of his last album Kingdom Come] and then he just disappeared." 50 Cent also confirmed the "I Get Money" remix will feature Jay-Z and Sean "Diddy" Combs. "Kanye sucks," 50 said. "I'm going to be honest, he sounds like a robot, he has a robot record," ridiculing West's hit single "Stronger."

50 also told AJ's Playhouse that West was annoyed when 50 Cent got on the stage at the Screamfest concert with fellow rap titan Jay-Z. During his Graduation album preview in Manhattan, West said: "[It] felt aight [referring to the )...would of felt better to be on stage like me and Jay planned". "Jay-Z and Kanye West had their plans for them to just be there, but then I decided we were gonna share that moment," 50 said. "If you look at the tape, Kanye crossed his arms cause I bumped into him and said 'man you had to come up here huh?,'" 50 Cent said today about the rappers' unification on the stage. "He was mad at first until it dawned on him what it was." West also brushed off the notion of any real "feud" between the two chart topping rappers during the Graduation preview. "This is the first time we let the press do all the work," West said of the feud, adding that 50 Cent wouldn't have stood a chance had it not been for his hit single "I Get Money."

For me personally, even though it's the epitome of everything I preach against I still gotta love this. 50's been tugging Kanye's chain since he was a guest editor for XXL. That shit he's talking about first week Def Jam sales isn't new either. Cats knew it when the Blueprint scandal blew up – then blew over. Ooo mainstream record labels are puffing up all important 1st week sales like it's a Barry Bonds injection! Big surprise! But seriously, word on the streets was 50 got Kanye pushed back. Then they said Kanye was gonna push ahead to August. But now Kanye is sticking to the Twin Towers release date, and 50 is getting his 1st week sales defense in motion. I've always said purchasing a record from a retail location is equivalent to "casting your vote". To further that notion, 50 even told people he would take on Kanye in a presidential style debate! It's getting so big gambling websites are taking bets on who hits the bigger jackpot (for the record, 50 is a 180 to 140 favorite among fans). Not only is this a battle of wills and egos, it's a battle for the direction of our sport. Stylistically and image wise they represent opposite sides of the Hip Hop spectrum, one of which may drive the future of the genre. Gangsta trapper rap or Styles P "I'm Black"? You be the judge. Vote or die, knuckka!

MSD's TV GUIDE

America's Got Talent - I slowly drifted away. Too many singing characters, which is a factor in Fator's victory (he's the ventriloquist guy). Plus the dancing Indian freak and the Shakira/Britney transsexual were just too weird to stomach.

American Inventor - Same thing. I know exactly which episode was my last – the one with the crazy guy and his "everything is going to be all right" doll. Ricockulous. I heard the fireman won it, the guy with the device that rains water down on a burning Christmas tree. Get yours today!

WEEDS - Still love it, although the early episodes of Season 3 have been unsettling. The near bondage white slavery of the main character is kind of jarring, and nothing like the previous two seasons. It still has its funny moments (like the public access extras) but the main storyline is getting extra spicy.

WWE RAW - Didn't see SUMMERSLAM but loved the RAW in Boston. The worst news to me amidst all these steroid allegations is the release of Cryme Tyme. Although supposedly not a wellness issue, and something to do with a ref attackage in Indiana it's still a blow to the show in my eyes. I always got a kick out of them. The VKM bastard son storyline is aiight, but it's no murder scandal. Big ups to my boy Paul London, next in line for a tag title shot at UNFORGIVEN.

TWISTED, PARANOID CONSPIRACY THEORIES
This is the part of the show where I mix Rap & Ravenloft (along with copious amounts of high-grade marijuana) to formulate some off-the-wall conspiracy theories concerning the industry. Remember, in no way are these stories factual, news-worthy or even particularly sane. It just gives me an excuse to puff more weed and wonder "What If?"...

RIGHT ON THE BEAN
I set a precedent once before with my two year celebration episode (entitled "22 Two's"). In that issue, I broke the cycle of fiction to bring you a true story from the bowels of the big city. That was a story about my own death – and this is the story of a Celtics tragedy escaped. But much like my own demise (and unlike every other episode of PARANOID TWISTED CONSPIRACY THEORIES), this story is horribly true. The Celtics franchise faced the specters of fate and karma when Lenny Bias froze his nose in ELYSIAN FIELDS for the last time – and again when Reggie Lewis collapsed on the court. They almost felt its bitter sting again almost 7 years ago.

Paul Pierce and Antoine Walker know what it's like to get gangstered. Walker has been robbed countless times in Chicago, a place notorious for its gangsta nation. But what has gone thus far unheralded is the Beantowns bloody contributions to unrepentant street madness. On September 25, 2000 at approximately 1 A.M., Pierce arrived at the Buzz nightclub in Boston's theatre district. He began talking to a girl at the club until he was confronted by three men, one of whom was the brother of the girl he had been speaking with. Words were exchanged, egos were bruised and precedents set. The confrontation escalated until suddenly Pierce was struck in the head from behind with a champagne bottle. From there, the dogs went wild.

Peezy was stabbed 11 times in the face, neck and back – including an 18 millimeter wound to his chest that penetrated his left lung. The thugs were merciless and fully intended on ending his life on that nightclub floor. Luckily, his homeboy (and Celtics teamate at the time) Tony Battie got him to the NE Medical Center where he underwent emergency lung surgery. Doctors claimed he was within minutes of death. Mary Ellen Burns, director of Media Relations for the Boston Police was questioned on their latest search for the suspect. She answered " We do have some statements made by some of the people who were in the nightclub, that some members of a local music group, a rap group, may have been involved in this. We are investigating that. Many of you have been asking me questions about that throughout the morning. That is something that we are looking into but we do have to do a great deal of investigating to determine exactly what happened in there. That's the nature, really, of anything that happens like this inside of a nightclub... My understanding is that they were attending the party". The "rap group" she's referring to was Benzino's MADE MEN (aka "The Hangmen 3" aka "Almighty RSO"). The same group said to be behind a backstage brawl in Boston that shut downa Ruff Ryders/Cash Money concert.

Two years later, William Ragland - himself already a convicted killer - was sentenced to 7 to 10 years in prison and another defendant was given one year for the brutal attack. Amazingly, they were both acquitted of attempted murder, but were convicted of assault and battery charges. Ragland also was convicted of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon (a knife) and received the longest sentence. But he still hasn't served it. Matter of fact, he won't serve it until he completes the 21 to 25 years he now is serving for unrelated convictions. Damn, homie. Trevor Watson, given the one-year sentence, also had 1.5 years suspended. Meanwhile, a third defendant Anthony Hurston, was acquitted of all charges.

During the three-week trial, the prosecution's star witness refused to testify and fainted after she was sentenced to three months in jail for contempt of court. She later testified but recanted her earlier grand jury testimony, in which she identified Watson and Ragland as the men she saw stabbing Pierce. She later said she never saw either man with a knife that night. The origins of the "Stop Snitching" campaign are born. And Paul Pierce has not once discussed the incident since.
Despite the severity of these wounds, Pierce played all 82 games during the 2000-01 season, going on to average what were at the time career highs in points, minutes, assists and field goal percentage. 7 years later and he's the third piece of a Holy Trinity that's resurrecting memories of Bird, Parrish and McHale. But rest assured he's never forgetten the initials "R.S.O." – forever branded in his flesh like tattoos. And a further reminder that no matter how far we get from them, the tendrils of the street can still reach us at any time…

THE DEPARTED
Speaking of Boston crime lore, I've never given my take on The Departed in its entirety. Now is as good of a chance as ever. You've probably heard of this movie by now. Boston-based crime saga starring such luminaries as Jack Nicholson and Leonardo Di Caprio, as well as local boys-done-good Matt Damon and Mark Walberg. Much hyped, much ballyhooed gangsta flick in the vein of Casino and Johnny Brasco with subtle Whitey Bulger influences.

Being a local-boy-done-good myself (shout out to Ashish, Melchor and the 411Mania home team for the life preserver!), I felt there's nobody more qualified to speak on the movie from a realer perspective than me. So here it is. Burn a spliff as we give this instant classic the once over - Elysian Fields style.

Of course I wanted to see it at the movie theatre when it came out. Circumstances forbid me. But I know plenty of cats who did see it, and it got pretty rave reviews. When the DVD came out, WALMART promised a limited edition two pack that also contained another Jack Nicholson movie. I didn't get it on the Tuesday it came out, and two days later not only were all the two-packs gone – every wide screen version of The Departed was sold out as well. The old lady at the register commented when she rang it up, something like "oh this is a popular one; everybody's buying it". The stage is now completely set with expectations higher than a car ride with RVD and Sabu.

Right out the gate, the so-called Boston accent becomes a force of point. Like it doesn't have to do anything with Boston to advance the story; they just put it in the Bean so these guys could use ridiculously over-practiced versions of a Southie accent and giggle at their "acting prowess". Di Caprio looked almost like he was gonna bust out laughing while Walberg interrogated him in his office. Like Ocean's Eleven mixed with The Sopranos. Surprisingly, local brother Matt Damon is the biggest offender. For some reason he's pronouncing his "r's" madd hard like "AAA" instead of the softer sounding "ahhh" that comes with the New England accent. It comes off like a bad parody of the Kennedy accent (or Mayor Diamond Joe Quimby of the Simpsons who is based on JFK). It's kind of like how Adam Sandler's movie The Wedding Singer leans on the 1980's gimmick to give that movie life - The Departed relies so much on a fixed Boston accent that it's practically comical.

Jack Nicholson is weird and creepy as usual, but he's visibly getting older. I felt like his whole inclusion in the movie was just to cater towards the hardcore Boston fanbase he's alienated in twenty season of LAKERS support. To hear him flash his attempt at a Boston accent is almost insulting to me, like he's "embracing" the culture by mocking it. Sheen and Baldwin however really add to the overall star appeal of the movie, and hold it up during their time on screen. Walberg too was a real natural, and I'm glad to see him earn his comeuppance at the end.

The story itself was cool with all three of the main characters (Damon, Dicaprio and Nicholson) being undercover double agents. The whole concepts was a nod towards the brutal Boston-based "NO SNITCHING" campaign that briefly engulfed the world. As the movie progressed (and man, did it feel like a long movie in the middle) it started getting progressively quicker and deadlier, like Kane's setting the ROYAL RUMBLE record for most eliminations in a match. Ironically, in death everybody got their heroes due. Full cop honors despite unpredictable allegiances. Kind of trite and definitely over-produced.

But overall – I love The Departed cuz they mention Brockton. That's Broken City MA State, the original and official City of Champions that I've been claiming my whole life. Big up Brockton! For that brief cameo alone I give the movie two thumbs up. I may sound like an asshole when it comes to critiquing the New England culture I hold so dear, but overall I'm a pretty easy to please fan. Especially when I'm on my medicine [points to the sky like Sabu]. Seeing familiar Boston land marks scattered throughout the flick was great too, and now I know why New England call this "our movie".

LOOK MA! WE MADE IT!
Speaking of repping Brockton MA, we just made the airwaves again. Faded Glory is what we represent, our greatest days being long in the dust. But last Sunday we made it national with an appearance on AMERICA'S MOST WANTED. This story focused on the killing of Jose Gurley a few months ago, which in itself is a microcosm of a much bigger picture. A tragedy for sure, and just another story from just another Any Ghetto USA. Notice how BOYZ N THE HOOD, MENACE II SOCIETY and the Stop Snitching campaign meld seamlessly into a bloody bouquet of numbing mindlessness and abject chaos.

LOST in the LAB
This is the part of our show where I dig into my archives and unearth some of rap's hidden jewels. These album or song choices may be shrouded in obscurity, or on the top of everybody's "Heard Of" list. They could be a few months young, or 25 years old. But one thing is sure - it's all HIP HOP MUSIC, and it's comin live and direct from Elysian Fields!

0

The Almighty RSO
Revenge of da Badd Boyz the EP
BMG Records
1994

Keepin it on that "we rep Boston" steez, we're dusting off an infamous local record for tonight's episode of LOST in the LAB. Before he was Benzino, before he was the 5-Mic Giver, before The SOURCE debacle even – Ray Benzino was known as Raydog the Jackal, key member of a vicious underground Boston gang scene.

Every song is for "Big T Rock Music" like Nas holds it down for Ill Will. Big T was RSO when he was shot to death in 1988. ""Hellbound (The RSO Saga Part 2)" opens the album with rolling thunder before segueing into the classic theme from DRACULA. This ends with more booming thunder which bleeds into Raydog the Jackal and Baddboy DJ Deff Jeff's eerie instrumental. The beat uses "Aces High" by Hugo Montenegro and it adds operatic sincerity to the groups vicious street rhymes. "The type of a n****a that will mind his own, but I'm strapped with my mag and my microphone!" Towards the end of its epic 5:34 song length, they intersperse newscaster dialogue to illustrate their basic street struggle of trying to earn a buck in the rap industry. "Revenge of da Badd Boyz" completely switches up the musical vibe by opening with the strains to "The Breaks" (by Kurtis Blow). But they still keep it bouncy with a funk driven hand clapper that sounds a lot like most of the West Coast (and therefore "Hip Hop") music that came out in 1993-94. Not bad but definitely dated. Junior Rodigan gives it some reggae flavor ala Notorious B.I.G.'s "Respect".

"One of those Nightz" is a certified Bean Town classic. It's that wildin and wolf packin sound that keeps the city streets alive with gunfire. A special bonus – surprise appearance by Freddie Foxxx (officially billed as "The Militant Mack"). Same shit just a higher pitch. Thorough. Shout out local spots for the cheap heat. "One of those Nightz" is my personal favorite off this album. But the most important record is definitely "One in the Chamba (The RSO Saga Part 1)". The song that made them semi-famous and forever infamous. Their challenge to the Boston PD and local news media. Song opens with dialogue from a TV interview Raydog gives in response to the interrogatory questioning of a female reporter. "Mysterious Vibes" (by the Black Byrds) is the backdrop and you can still taste the vinyl crackling. Beyond it's sheer unadulterated gangsta bravado, this song is said to have been inspired by the death of two kids at the hands of Boston PD. "One in the Chamba" is 1994 murder music in all it's bloodthirsty glory, warts and all. Following that is "Out on Parole (Time To Flip)" - a quick one minute interlude featuring The Wild Juvenile R.O.C.K. (R.I.P.), a 17 year old brother stabbed to death in 1991-92 ish. "5 Minutes of Doom (Comin from the Legion)" ends the disc with another epic posse cut clockin in at 5 minutes as advertised (5:27 to be exact). Featuring everybody from Antonio Twice Thou ("The Microphone Wrecka Tony Rhome") and Mr. Gzus ("Kool Gsus") it's a perfect way to send this record home. It's bangin on wax Beantown style."5 Minutes of Doom" is prefaced with a wiretapped phone conversation of Benzino (aka "Raydog the Jackal") talking about homicide riding his nuts. 10 years before the Hip Hop police were exposed, these guys were feeling their brunt.

In conclusion, THE SOURCE said it best in 1994 – "in many ways, the RSO story is not an uncommon one, as thousands of young people across America are continuing to bet their lives on the pursuit of a career in the music business… and hopefully, their story is one that the thousands of young people who dream of making it in the rap game can learn from." They earned an early record deal with Tommy Boy but everything went to hell in the wake of N.W.A.'s "Fuck Police" controversy, and in the midst of Bodycount"s "Cop Killer" inspired witch hunt. "One in the Chamba" actually dropped as a single in 1992, and the same guys that took 2 Live Crew to court helped the BPPA (Boston Police Patrolman's Association) press charges against everybody. Massachusetts bans distribution of material that advocates violence upon police or public officials. But they couldn't ban the impact of this song (much like they couldn't ban the Snowman 11 years later). Even though this record isn't the tightest lyrically, and hasn't aged well (it sounds dated even by 1994 standards) it's still close to my heart. Cuz when I was coming up, the stories of RSO saturated my rap world with a certain gritty realism I had never seen in music before. So whether it stands for "Rock Solid Organization", "Rock Shit On" or "Roxbury Street Organization" RSO means Boston (and by extension Brockton) rap music, and everything it represents. The faded glory. 5.5 out of 10 grams.

THE OUTRO
I'm trying to tell my mother to mind her damn business, and not come running into the streets the next time she hears shots. Of course she's still buggin me for cake claiming some "insurance" matters. She probably means "assurance" – as in assured where her next bottle of Cosacks vodka is coming from. But I keep it bent like wire coat hangers in an '88 Monte Carlo, and let these suckers know I ain't fuckin around. Stop shooting up my muthaphuckkin mammas neighborhood. The mists of RAVENLOFT are slowly but surely swallowing everybody I came up with. Dead, dead, jail, suicide, drug addiction, dead. Where you need four ounces of tussin just to stay afloat in this lunacy.

In the meantime, take two of these a poke of this and reread the script I laid out for you. The method is in the madness. Doctor Must Stave Depression prescribes a steady diet of self medication, mixed with enough back issues of ADVENTURES in ELYSIAN FIELDS to repaper a third world nation. Like the tattoo spotted a right ham hock says – "may cause dizziness, alcohol will intensify". Holla at a duck!