Sex, News & Violins 09.12.07
Posted by Jamie Buttineau on 09.12.2007
Jens Lekman is lovely, PJ Harvey needs a Philly cheesesteak, Ben Gibbard's head is large, and Madonna loves gypsies. College is hard.
Moving to a new place usually creates new problems that need to be dealt with. For example, one may use their connection to the internet repeatedly and thus be unable to post a column and thus have to scrap an entire column and rewrite it from scratch. It's fun!
It also doesn't help that my new schedule has me up in the morning all week. I like sleep, I dislike not sleeping. This is how I was raised to live.
But enough of this boring exposition and talk about life, I have a somewhat amusing column to stumble through.
Oh and if any of my instructors are reading this, hey Rod.
Coming To You Live From A Series Of Tubes
The Go! Team, "Keys To The City"
I'm literally drooling over the release of this album. Seriously, there is drool slowly dribbling over my chin over this. I was worried that they would let me down for a little while, but these last few live performances have proved that any doubt had should be dropped immediately. This album will be awesome. Count on that.
Jens Lekman, "The Opposite Of Hallelujah"
Live from the Beachland Ballroom, Cleveland, OH
This is one of the best songs off Night Falls Over Kortedala. Of course in comparison to the lush version found on the album this lacks a little bit of the spunk. But it's still fun and Jens is always cool to see live. Judging by his backing band, he seems to be trying to become the Swedish Sufjan Stevens. And I think he may succeed.
Okkervil River, "Our Life Is Not A Movie Or Maybe"
Live on Late Night With Conan O'Brien, August 28, 2007
These guys are definitely making quite a buzz lately, most likely due to the strength of their current album. Doesn't hurt that they seem to be pretty good live too. And as always you can tell when Conan loves something because he practically drools over the band afterwards. That's always neat to see.
Headlines!!
Swedish People Are Fun
Jens Lekman's latest album is quite good, I'll be getting to that in a bit. But in order to survive an artist has to support that album with a tour and that ladies and gentlemen is exactly what Mistah Lekman is doing. He will be joined on tour by a variety of Swedish people and a comedian by the name of Todd Barry. I guess so you can laugh before Jens tells his sad stories of being dumped by a pretty girl or being mugged in his neighbourhood. Makes some sense I spose.
When I said I wanted to your dog, I was probably drunk:
09-06 Uppsala, Sweden - Konsert & Kongress
09-14 Bergen, Norway - Phonofestivalen
09-15 Olso, Norway - John Dee
09-16 Salisbury, England - End of the Road Festival
09-19 Gothenburg, Sweden - Nevertiti $
09-20 Gothenburg, Sweden - Nevertiti $
09-21 Hässleholm, Sweden - Markan $
09-22 Malmö, Sweden - Inkonst (early show)
09-22 Malmö, Sweden - Inkonst $
09-26 Gävle, Sweden - Spegeln $
09-27 Linkoeping, Sweden - Herrgarn $
09-28 Stockholm, Sweden - Kagelbanan (early show)
09-28 Stockholm, Sweden - Kagelbanan $
09-29 Moscow, Russia - IKRA Club
10-02 Skelleftea, Sweden - Pinkerton
10-03 Umeå, Sweden - Scharinska
10-04 Norrköping, Sweden - Hugo Konsert Republik
10-05 Helsingborg, Sweden - The Tivoli
10-06 Jönköping, Sweden - Bongo Bar
10-23 Bloomington, IN - Jake's #
10-25 Washington, DC - Black Cat #
10-26 Philadelphia, PA - First Unitarian Church #
10-27 New York, NY - Webster Hall #
10-29 Boston, MA - Paradise #
11-01 Cleveland, OH - Beachland Ballroom #
11-02 Chicago, IL - Logan Square Auditorium #^
11-03 Minneapolis, MN - Triple Rock Social Club #^
11-06 Seattle, WA - Nectar #
11-07 Portland, OR - Someday Lounge #
11-09 San Francisco, CA - Bimbo's 365 Club #
11-10 West Hollywood, CA - Troubadour #
11-27 Manchester, England - Sacred Trinity Church
11-28 Leeds, England - Holy Trinity Church
11-29 Sheffield, England - The Plug %
11-30 Manchester, England - Academy 2 %
12-01 Glasgow, Scotland - QMU %
12-03 Gateshead, England - The Sage 2 %
12-04 Nottingham, England - Rescue Rooms %
12-05 Bristol, England - Academy %
12-07 Oxford, England - Academy %
12-08 Brighton, England - Concorde 2 %
12-09 London, England - Shepherds Bush Empire %
12-11 London, England - The Luminaire
12-12 Dublin, Ireland - Whelan's
$ with Todd Barry
# with Viktor Sjöberg (closing set)
^ with Dave Fischoff
% with Josh Rouse
Despite Being Thin Enough For A Small Breeze To Be Able To Blow Her Over, I'm Pretty Sure She Could Kick My Ass
PJ Harvey, the badass female rocktress is coming to America. Her new album White Chalk comes out on September 24 in the UK and the 25th here in North America. And in order to spread the word she'll be playing two dates in the states. No word on a full tour, and I'm not sure if one will materialize since she once said she was done with touring. But then I might have dreamed that up whilst in the midst of an ether binge. Anyway, here are those two US dates.
Mean Green Polly Jean:
09-24 Bristol, England - Colston Hall
09-29 London, England - Royal Festival Hall
10-10 New York, NY - Beacon Theatre
10-15 Los Angeles, CA - The Orpheum
I Prefer My Cabs Death Free
Death Cab For Cutie, everyone's favourite sad band who write clever little ditties and are led by a guy with a rather large head, are heading into the studio to record the followup to 2005's Plans. Plans was a decent album, nothing Earth shattering but a solid record. "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" is a purty song.
No word on when Ben Gibbard will release the new Postal Service album, I'm starting to think it may not happen. It's been what, 5 years since Give Up? Either these guys are trying to be lazy or the US mail service really is that slow. However, Spin Magazine does claim that the next Postal Service album may actually be released on December 25. Which, is probably almost positively wrong.
I Wasn't Aware That La Isla Bonita Was Located In The Ukraine
Gogol Bordello are bringing their gypsy goodness around the country. I like the old guy who plays the violin, he reminds me of someone's creepy uncle.
But the more interesting news is that the leader of the pack, Eugene Hutz will star in a short film called Filth And Wisdom which will be directed by Madonna. That's right, Madonna directs movies now. I could make the obvious Swept Away joke here, but instead I will make a less obvious reference to The Next Best Thing. Because I think the incredible awfulness of that film is underrated in comparison to Swept Away. It's the cool person's bad Madonna film.
Gogol and Madonna last hooked up at Live Earth where they rocked "La Isla Bonita". I don't know how Madonna of all people managed to discover a band like Gogol Bordello but it's a pretty good break for them. Anyway, tour dates.
Material Gypsies:
08-31 Portland, OR - Crystal Ballroom
09-01 Seattle, WA - Bumbershoot Festival
09-02 Vancouver, British Columbia
10-07 New Haven, CT - Toad's PLace
10-09 Toronto, Ontario - Opera House
10-10 Montreal, Quebec - Club Soda
10-11 Boston, MA - The Roxy
10-13 Lewiston, ME - The Gray Cage
10-15 Asbury Park, NJ - Stone Pony
10-16 Baltimore, MD - Sonar
10-18 Blacksburg, VA - Lyric Theater
10-19 Atlanta, GA - Roxy Theatre
10-20 New Orleans, LA - Tipitina's
10-21 Dallas, TX - Granada Theatre
10-22 Austin, TX - Emo's
10-24 Tempe, AZ - Marquee Theatre
10-25 Los Angeles, CA - Mayan Theatre
10-26 Tucson, AZ - Rialto Theatre
10-27 Las Vegas, NV - Vegoose Festival
10-29 Boulder, CO - Boulder Theater
11-01 Minneapolis, MN - First Avenue
11-03 New York, NY - Terminal 5
RAPIDFIRE NEWS SMARTASSERY!!
Man, a lot of shit went down at those VMA's didn't it? Too bad the actually show sucked ass. Or so I assume, as I didn't watch it. And neither did anyone in sound mind.
Britney Spears turned what was supposed to be a comeback into an event of pure terror and comedic awkwardness that could rival scenes from The Office. Seriously, is she done now? Is that the end? How do you recover from something that bad? I mean, the comeback was possibly feasible before, but after this mess?...Maybe it's time for her to hang it up and get back to neglecting her children.
Also Kanye got pissed because he lost at the VMAs. Which, seems odd because it's the friggin' VMAs. You're Kanye West. Shut up, buy some more weird sunglasses, fantasize about teddy bears and make more good music. Moron.
Posh Spice will make an appearance on Ugly Betty. Let me guess, she plays someone rich and proper who either learns a lesson in the end or gets her comeuppance. Either that or she'll be stunt cast as someone ugly or "normal". Because really, what the hell are they going to do with her? She couldn't even carry a TV show by acting as herself, how is she going to act as someone else?
The Game will stand trial for whatever dumbass stunt he's pulled lately. I personally hope he doesn't go to jail, because that tends to help a rapper's career more than hurt it. I want him to get off of on a technicality, because good luck acting gangsta when your high priced lawyers saved your ass. "Yo yo, big ups to Fielstein, Martin and Howard!" Doesn't have much of a ring to it does it?
There may be a new musical based on the music of Morrissey. If the choreography features a scene where someone gets kicked in the eye I may have to love it.
That might be an obscure reference.
Aerosmith will record a new album, because those lips don't pay for themselves.
Apparently Pete Doherty was around on the night that Amy Winehouse overdosed, and since he didn't yet another crime added to his lengthy resume he fled the scene.
Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance reportedly married Lyn Z, the bassist for Mindless Self Indulgence. I of course disapprove of this, because these things always end in divorce and emo divorces lead to emo songs that are even more whiny and bitchy than usual. Hell, Gerard Way will probably write an entire concept album around his divorce. And I bet he'll even find a way to work in marching bands again.
I'll give him credit though, she is pretty hot.
She's the one behind the chick who looks like she came out of a Wallace & Gromit cartoon.
Accoring to Jonny Greenwood, the new Radiohead album is finished recording. And thus Ian Wright will get a good night's sleep for the first time in months.
And sadly this week, one of the most beloved fat people in all the world died this week. Luciano Pavarotti passed away at the age of 71 after battling pancreatic cancer. Pavarotti is best known for being one of The Three Tenors with Placido Domingo and Josep Carreras. In memoriam, here are these clips:
Rest in peace big guy.
BillboardTop 20
1. Various Artists, High School Musical 2 Soundtrack – I feel wrong in saying that this is by various "artists". There is no art here, just the sadness and horror in the fact that the people who buy this are the future. We are all doomed.
2. Talib Kweli, Eardrum – Apparently it's a decent if not solid if not unspectacular rap album. Well…That doesn't really give me much to work with in terms of blurbs to put here….Meh?
3. Miley Cyrus, - Hanna Montana 2 Soundtrack/Meet Miley Cyrus – Hey, Hanna Montana, that rhymes! Hahahaha wow, now I know why this is so popular!
4. Various Artists, Hairspray Soundtrack – I didn't think it was possible to hate something that had Christopher Walken in it. And yet, here we are.
5. Various Artists, NOW 25 – It just gets worse and worse don't it?
6. Fergie, The Dutchess – Sweet jesus does it ever. You people are sick!
7. Swizz Beatz, One Man Band Man – Z is the new S apparently. How very gangsta. I bet he even has a grill and everything. It's amazing that the hip hop community which was once about being original and unique seems to be more about conformity these days. Funny how that works.
8. As I Lay Dying, An Ocean Between Us – GAAAAAAAAWWWWWDD IIIIIIISSS GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEAAAAATTTT!!!!!
9. Nickelback, All The Right Reasons – Each week I'm astounded by how many bad records people buy. My only hope is there is just some rich guy out there who buys these things and then uses them as coasters. And that he needs a lot of coasters. That's the only explanation for sales that I will accept.
10. UGK, Underground Kingz – Check out dat muthafuckin' Z beyotch! That's how the UGK roll, they don't need no S to indicate plurality! DAMN!
11. Jonas Brothers, Jonas Brothers – At this point Disney could put out an album of the sounds of baboons throwing feces at each other and it would reach number one.
12. Linkin Park, Minutes To Midnight – So much lameness…Can't take much more lameness…
13. T.I., T.I. Vs. T.I.P. – Terribly Important Person I suppose?
14. Amy Winehouse, Back To Black – She'll probably be the only parent whose kid will have to go to a methadone clinic before preschool.
15. Common, Finding Forever – I would totally go see one of his shows if Jeremy Piven showed up playing the bongos again.
16. Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift – You know what's weird? I never realized until I found out this week that I actually had no idea who this was. I actually just found out he's a country singer, and all this time I was positive he was R&B. It's amazing what you don't find out when you absolutely do not care.
17. Various Artists, High School Musical Soundtrack – I wish AIDS upon these people.
18. M.I.A., Kala – Proof that people actually buy some decent stuff to go with the crap.
19. Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds, Live At Radio City – There was probably enough weed consumed here for a Jamaican city to all retire comfortably.
20. Cartel, Cartel – And because I don't know what it is it must suck. Because that's how it works.
Important New Releases Of The Week….According To Me
Ah Jens Lekman, one of the coolest Swedish folks you'll ever meet. I saw him on a late night music video show up here in Canada where he was dressed up in a suit of armour while in a cop car and being surrounded by people playing the tuba. That's when I knew Jens Lekman was awesome. I just wish his name didn't give me dyslexia, many times I've found myself typing "Jens Lekamn". It's quite irritating. This album is named for a village that Jens currently resides. He used to love it but now when he walks out at night he gets mugged, so it's kind of dampened his opinion of the place. This album is great, it's lush and orchestral and even romantic. Jens kind of sounds like what Morrissey would sound like if it was possible for him to be happy. It's filled with piano heavy ballads and pop songs that sound like something that would come out of the 60's only with a modern twist. If you're unfamiliar with the genius of Jens Lekman then you're doing yourself a great disservice by not checking him out. Get this, now, like right now, go!
The wait has been nearly unbearable but finally I have The Go! Team's second album. Proof Of Youth is awesome, plain and simple. It rocks, it raps, it goes all over the musical spectrum. It even allows Chuck D to be useful and relevant for the first time since he did the theme song for In Living Colour. If you heard Thunder Lightning Strike then you should have a fair idea of what to expect here. And that's probably a good thing, because this isn't the type of album you want to have catch you off guard. If you love weird, great music, you have no reason to not pick this up. Buy it or Ninja will hunt you down and bust out a mad rhyme on your ass…Although actually that would be pretty cool.
IT'S OVER!!
I don't know how that makes me want a chocolate bar, but I do know that it has filled me with joy.
