Notes from a Padded Cell 10.08.07: To Top Albums or Not Pt. 1

Posted by Jesse Coy on 10.08.2007

The music junkie rolls out his top albums like ABC in the safe confines of his padded cell. Sick of top album lists or hungry for more? This one will be a bit different.




Well, sir and madams… it's been a rough few days from the padded cell. The inevitable will be happening, as in my wife and I separating, which will lead to a pretty much guaranteed divorce in the end. It's as amicable as a separation can be. There was no cheating or lying or any other bad stuff… it's just a matter of two people over the past couple of years drifting apart in goals from one another. These things happen. People can fall in love as much as they can fall out of love and into simple habit. Your trusty music junkie will be moving out of his large home in northeastern Massachusetts, frankly larger because of her wishes and to accommodate her stuff rather than mine, and into a studio apartment and bachelor's pad in Boston.

While I'm not happy about it all, the decision was more in her ballpark than mine, and I'm the type of person who looks to possibilities… and while all of this will be a somewhat scary venture (for example, eventually dating again after nearly 9 years), the idea of living directly in a city again excites me, in addition to the fact that I'll be closer to the 48-Hour Expressway Gang, the actors' troupe/indie film short troupe I've established.

What does this have to do about music?

Nothing at the moment…



TOP 100 ALBUM RELEASES

Yep! You probably had enough of that other list, right? Now I know that individual writers' lists have been printed, but that was without explanation by them as to why they picked what they did. So what I'm here to do is to provide you with not only the list I would've sent to 411Mania had I been writing for them when they called for such a list, but also to give a short explanation of why I deem the album great.

Remember, I invite readers out there to supply their own lists. It doesn't even have to be 100 albums, or have an explanation. Do it however you want to do it. As you'll see with my list, I have rules. If anyone emails me a list, just let me know the rules, if any, behind your list.

My list sure has rules!

1. First of all, you'll notice I'm starting with #1. You'll also notice that #1 is by a band that begins with the letter A, and #2 will also begin with the letter A. Point is, THIS IS NOT A RANKING OF THESE TOP ALBUMS. To compare the Dead Kennedys with Iron Maiden in ranking, for example, is ludicrous. I'm not proposing that any one of these great albums is better than any others.

2. You will notice that there are nearly NO acts that have two releases on this list, and certainly not three releases by the same act. For an act to have two releases listed, they need to be something REALLY special.


3. There will be something called TOSS-UP for a handful of bands. That means, either one of the two releases could be substituted, they're so good.

4. Definition of a great album? Me! It could've been a top seller, but doesn't need to have been. It could've been influential, or maybe it wasn't (it was innovative, but somewhat buried and seldom heard). Or maybe I just inexplicably like it.

5. I haven't counted this out yet. I don't know if I'll have more than or less than 100 in the end. I'm just going to go through all the bands in my collection, and if I fall short at the end, I'll return to the beginning of the alphabet, and sweep up. If I go over… oh well.

6. I'm sure there might be one more rule, but that's all I can think of now.


SO HERE WE GO!!!!!!!!!!




A Music Junkies' Top 100- The First 20


1. AC/DC (TOSS-UP)- Highway to Hell/ Back in Black
I really think this could've been a double album. Personally, I find it to be both Bon and Brian's best work. "Highway to Hell" and "Back in Black" are two incredible songs. At 41-minutes apiece, that's the sort of length that double albums run. Call it, AC/DC's Classic Best. What a creepy send-off Bon Scott provides, with "Night Prowler," and then for Brian to pick up a year later with "Hells Bells"? It's friggin' great. As you know, one of these two made 411Mania's official list. Depending on where you stand on the Bon/Brian divide will probably determine whether or not you agree.



2. Alice in Chains- Dirt
This one made it onto 411Mania's top list, too. What a great handbook of the hell of addiction. These guys carved out their niche in the grunge genre. When they were heavy, they gave the most assertive nod toward Black Sabbath compared to all the other grunge bands. Can you imagine if they had covered a wicked Black Sabbath tune? How about "Hand of Doom" to fit with the addiction theme? Well, I guess there was the short "Iron Gland."



3. Anthrax- Among the Living
For anyone sucking on the tit of Metallica, vowing that they're ALL THAT, I won't deny that they're good. But they weren't the only thrash act out there that kicked ass. Want a classic thrash album just as good as anything Metallica did? Do yourself a favor, and pick up this one. If you like Stephen King at all, the title track here is the most fucking awesome musical adaptation of a King book. "Caught in a Mosh," "I Am the Law," and "Indians"… god-damn, this one is GREAT!



4. Audioslave- Audioslave
I don't recall what I thought of this one when I first picked it up, but it QUICKLY grew on me. I think part of me was so tickled by the notion of a main component of one band being couple with a main component of another band, and the fact that the end result, as bizarre as it sounded, worked. They may have been short-lived, and their follow-up wasn't that good as far as I was concerned, but "Cochise," "Show Me How to Live," and "Set It Off" just sizzle with energy. The blend works well there.



5. Bad Brains- Attitude, the Roir Sessions
You don't get much more original and influential than these guys. Later musical entities and figures like the Beastie Boys, Henry Rollins, and Ian MacKaye will tell you, the Bad Brains were (and still are, as far as I'm concerned, with their latest release) all that. I've had this one since the 80's. "Sailing On" and "Banned in DC" are fuckin' incredible. I recently got Black Dots, which predates this. Some of this material was rerecorded on Rock for Light, which was produced bizarrely enough by the Cars' Ric Ocasek. Not to take anything away from either of those, but this was my first exposure to the punk rock/hardcore/reggae act, and that's what goes on my list.



6. Bad Religion- Against the Grain
To this day, I only own one other album by these guys, as in their comp of earlier material, as in their compilation or collection of earlier EP's. I used to hate this particular album, when for months on end some of my high school pals jammed it again and again whenever we drank. God, I hated it. Fast forward to several years later… while in college, I ran across this at a used CD store. When not FORCED to listen to it, guess what? I liked. Damn, I liked it a LOT. It's a great album. Probably some of it for me involves instant nostalgia. When I hear this album, I go into an instant, vague nostalgia trip.



7. Bauhaus- In the Flat Field
I'd had their live album, Press the Eject and Give Me the Tape, containing the ultimate gothic anthem, "Bela Lugosi's Dead," since my college days. It wasn't until a couple years ago that I made an effort to get their studio releases. We're only talking four releases here. They all have great, ahead-of-their-time elements to them. But this, their debut, I pick because it set the course. To think that recently THEY opened for Trent, when it should've 1000% been the other way around! As songwriters, Peter and company blow pity-me Trent out of the water. True, I haven't gotten NIN's most recent release, but I'll still hold to that assertion.



8. Beastie Boys (TOSS-UP)- Licensed to Ill/ Paul's Boutique
And right now I'm in the mood to pick the latter, though I concede that the former is… well, damn, either one I play, I end up EXTREMELY charged. Their third release has its great moments, too. But I'll keep the toss-up contained to these two. Licensed to Ill gets a thumbs up for its Kerry King guitar solo cameo… although with Paul's Boutique, the first three main tracks just crush me they're so great.



9. Beatallica- Sgt. Hetfield's Motor Breath Pub Band
That's right, mo-fo… parody albums can and will make this list. And carefully note, not a SINGLE Beatles album follows. I only have their best of releases, and even if I didn't, I got SO SICK of them from the other list, way too over-represented, that I may have left them off just because of that. This is also, by the way, FAR better than anything Metallica has done after And Justice for All. I laughed over its genius the first few times I listened to it, and then soon, it stood on its own two feet as great.



10. Beck- Odelay
This one made 411Mania's list, and I agree. I recall listening to the album for the first time thinking… what the fuck is this guy doing? It was definitely unique, and I liked it no matter how odd I thought it was. I only got the immediate follow-up to this one. Beck has a slew of newer albums I look forward to eventually picking up.



11. Berry, Chuck- His 30 Greatest Hits
As a rule, I would never include a greatest hits album, UNLESS it's done as such that back in the day, there was no concept of albums. These were all single releases. That's how they did it back during the days of good old rock ‘n' roll. As for 411Mania's official list? To have Bob Dylan mentioned numerous times, and no Chuck Berry? Friggin' absurd!



12. Big Audio Dynamite- F-Punk
No doubt, critics will scream out against this one. Everywhere I see this album mentioned, it gets poor reviews. Well, guess what? I LOVE IT. It was the first Big Audio material I'd ever heard (I was quite familiar with the Clash before that). I had it passed to me during my first ever gig as a music reviewer at Temple University, beginning back in ‘94. Once more, here's a case of the first three tracks being just incredible… "I Turned Out a Punk," "Vitamin C," and "Psycho Wing"… no, it's four songs, because "Push Those Blues Away" follows, and if you're EVER depressed, track this down and play it. Critics be damned, this album is tops.



13. Bim Skala Bim- Bones
I know in some of the columns where I did mixes, these guys popped up. We're talking American ska, but without a doubt, one of the pioneers, at least on American shores. The album cover intrigued me when I was a deejay for a college radio station at Kings College in PA. Their cover of Pink Floyd's "Brain Damage"? I played it again and again during my weekly program. I still love it. This is long before it was popular for ska bands to cover tunes ska style (because this is long before there were many U.S. ska bands). The rest of the album, other original tracks like "All for One" and "Wandering Soul" represent ska at its best. And while this album is my favorite by these guys, all of their other albums are up there as far as being pretty good.



14. Black Flag- The First Four Years
American punk was disgustingly under-represented on the 411Mania list. They included Green Day, but no real American punk bands? VERY sad. Not a greatest hits, this actually collects all the singles of the band's first four years together, meaning we're talking pre-Henry Rollins. I'm much more of an earlier Black Flag fan. In 26 minutes flat, prepare to be pummeled by the true definition of punk… "Wasted," "Six Pack," "Nervous Breakdown," and their cover of "Louie Louie"… really, it's all you need.



15. Black Sabbath- Paranoid
This was on the 411Mania list, and this is an album I'd agree with. If I didn't have a solo Dio release on my own list, I'd maybe put one more Black Sabbath album here, one of his Black Sabbath albums (you don't want to ask which one). To think that every other Led Zeppelin album made that list, and only one Black Sabbath album charted? It's a nauseating thought. On their worst day, these heavy metal forefathers were 100% more innovative than those Led Zeppelin wankers. Sorry, but their over-representation has instilled a hostility in me toward them. Anyway, with songs as great as "Paranoid," "Hand of Doom," and "Planet Caravan" (I'm personally tired of "War Pigs"), this is one of THE metal albums of all time.



16. Blondie- Parallel Lines
I rather recently completed my Blondie collection. Picked up a lot of Blondie albums over the summer. I've had Parallel Lines for a while. Here was one of those bands who, back in '02, I heard a best of album, and was like… shit, these are all Blondie tunes? Blondie is GREAT. Disgruntled, male-hating female musicians… please enter Blondie 101. "One Way or Another" (I'm gonna get you)… I'm so SICK of victim chicks. Here's a chick who goes after her MAN! And "Heart of Glass"… I've always loved that damn song. As a album, this one is representative, too, of their far range of styles. Three cheers for geometry-inspired album titles!



17. Bloodhound Gang- One Fierce Beer Coaster
For the simple fact that these guys can always transport me back to my second trip throughout Eastern Europe, because that's the first time I heard them, I'll always love them. "Bad Touch" (not on this album) played from Krakow to Sofia, from Prague to Budapest. It was in one of Krakow's many subterranean bars, that both this and the band's follow-up release were played back to back. A humorous and crude album? Yep. But it's far more than just a joke album. I'll attest to the fact that it's got one of the best suicide songs ever ("Lift You Head Up High and Blow Your Brains Out"), one of the best driving songs ever ("Asleep at the Wheel"), and one of the best songs ever about an idiot ("Why's Everybody Picking on Me")… plus a secret guest cameo by Vanilla Ice? We're cooking here.



18. Bowie, David- The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust
This was on the 411Mania list. I'd written a couple Top 100 blurb albums that weren't included. If the one that I wrote for this one wasn't included… I would've killed. Simply put, without hesitation, of the thousands of albums I own, this is one of my top ten.



19. Bowie, David (TOSS-UP)- Low/ Outside
Screw the Beatles, first of all. Secondly, critics be damned. Outside never got very good reviews, but it's one of the most incredible, innovative reinventions (David infamous for self-reinvention) that I've EVER heard. As for Low, it was and still is ahead of its time. And yes, here is an artist who DESERVES the distinction of being represented not just once, but twice on a tops list (Led Zeppelin sucks balls in comparison).



20. Butthole Surfers- Pioughd
Ah… the great divide. This album marks the first in this strange act's more commercial divide. While their rougher, more punk and noise divide had its moments, I personally like the other side of the divide. Pioughd retained much of their former weirdness. Want an anthem to Gary Shandling? You got it right off the bat. How about a epic tale of a "Lonesome Bulldog" with multiple reprises… here it is. Great cover of "Hurdy Gurdy Man," and an all around excellent strange trip!



Pluck a duck! Haven't even gotten to the C's yet, and we're on #20… this baby's going over!

Anyway, on to…


ODDS AND ENDS

Not much here… first item of business? REISSUES….


REISSUES

If you're new to this column, you may not know that back in May or thereabouts, I did an extensive series of columns based on reissues. So from now on, if a new reissue pokes its ugly head in my face, I will cry foul. And we have four new entries…

1. George Thorogood- Bad to the Bone… why? Really, why! I don't care much about the new versions, but I'm pissed. Sticking a B-side on this. You suck that's all I need to say (you being the corporate dingle berry who tacked a B-side in place instead of releasing a George Thorogood EP of B-sides).

2. Warrior Soul- Last Decade Dead Century… it's a great album that's been reissued with three live tracks. Once again, I don't know why. Maybe it'll make my to-get list seven years hence. Otherwise, if you want to do us a favor, reissue the out of print, very expensive Odds and Ends by this act.

3. KMFDM- all the Sanctuary Records… there were some bigger metal acts on this label, including KMFDM, Megadeth, Ministry, and Queensryche. Apparently, the label pretty much sucked. All of these bands went to other labels. KMFDM re-released their Sanctuary Record albums via Metropolis Records. Point is, extra tracks were tacked on. I only had one Sanctuary Records era KMFDM release, Xtort, and the re-release includes a bonus track. Naïve, which I just recently got, has five bonus tracks. Once more, here's the deal… so the old label sucks or goes under? Fine, make those old albums available again. But also put out an EP solely containing the bonus tracks. Otherwise, you piss off people like me, who are more and more becoming your bread and butter, as fewer people buy CD's. I speak the truth.

4. Pink Floyd- Piper at the Gates of Dawn… a three-disc reissue? A mono and stereo version is useless to me. Apparently, the third disc has some B-sides. This release was so hippy-dippy, I had it long ago and sold it, and only recently bought it again for completions sake (well, I'm missing Ummagumma). I'll really pass on this one. For some of those B-sides, I'll go with Relics. Early Pink Floyd? It just doesn't work with me (okay, "Te Gnome" is fun).


THE CHRIS BENOIT DVD

Yes, I realize it's not music, but an update is necessary. What I predicted would happen happened MUCH earlier than I thought it would. Last week, I bought the DVD for $13. Right now, there's a used one selling for the same price, and about 6 under $20. All those idiots who scooped this DVD up to resell it? As I predicted… NO ONE WANTS TO BUY IT. Well, few people. I want to buy it, not to resell it, but to preserve a history that will be erased. I couple this with Eddie Guerrero's DVD. These two belong in a tragic duo package, both DVD's pre-dating the tragic ends.


The monkey of the week is 006, James Bleach. He has dangerous gadgets that he's not afraid to use!