Adventures In Elysian Fields 10.24.07: Opposites Day
Posted by MSD on 10.24.2007
Calling only the REAL Hip Hop heads... I've got a few questions to ask you.
Shorty got the death wish, I wish to die
But when I try… it just goes by
You can't kill me cuz I can't kill myself – and if I got beef then I got it for self.
And if I catch a body I catch it for self – to me, murder is good for the health…
* Prodigy - "Bitch Ass N***a"
Chip Chimney does not smoke weed.
Matter of fact, the kid has never even SEEN that stuff. Sure he's probably heard of it, everybody has. But actually INHALED? Hell no. Never dealt hard, never snorted soft. Never smoked dust, tripped on acid or even HEARD of ecstasy. As far as you know, Chip Chimney is a model citizen. And that's how we want to keep it. Remember what VKM Jr. taught you – perception is reality.
Cardinal rule #1 – real bad boys move in silence. Biggie Smalls said it, real Gs personify it. You're living for the hype when you say you just don't give a funk. Do the math – to truly not give a fuck one must not only detest themselves but the thoughts and opinions of those around them. So tell me why you say that you just don't give a fuck, when every little step is just to get a rep. You want to project an image of recklessness and lawlessness, but could never dream of doing dirt all by your lonely (and keeping it between you and God). Like 2Pac said – you ain't shit without your homeboys. See my science. MadStepDad is a pen name used in lieu of my government listing. Not because I don't want to bathe in my small flicker of internet fame. Not because I like how it sounds. But because the stories and capers from this side of the computer screen are not meant to be glorified. They're not meant to be revered, or even something to be proud of it. Most of it is goddamn embarrassing. But these stories must be told. So if it comes without the so-called street infamy or accumulative juice, so be it. Stripes are not given, nor are they earned. They're branded in your soul forever.
Play a little game with me. Who's the biggest blowhard or braggart in the classroom? Is he making a spectacle of himself for personal gain? Or is it for the benefit of all his spectators? How many fuckin nitwits pull a stunt, then brag about it or broadcast it on YouTube for the rest of the world to see? How many idiots have been suspended from school for violent battle raps written on the internet? How many nerds beat and kill homeless people just so they can brag about it at a party and get arrested? How many fuckin homos video tape themselves breaking and entering, or film themselves giving their two year old nephew a blunt to smoke? Too many to count. Getting the picture? The ones who brag the hardest are usually the ones with the most to prove. Re-listen to the Chris Rock skit about white boys in the hood.
Following along with that theme, how many times have you heard a rapper tell you he's "the realest n**** in the game"? Yet in every rap mag and DVD interview they're telling you 98% of the industry is fake. It's usually the ones who practice the hardest that wind up as perpetrators when it's all said and done. Real bad boys move in silence. Who knew John Forte was into moving gallons of liquid cocaine? Nobody who listens to his music, that's for sure. Be real – if you catch a body, how many people do you really want knowing that? How many people do you want having your future in their hands? Sure it's ok to brag on record "for artistic merit" (snicker). But with the way things are going these days with the Hip Hop police, the "real" are getting weeded out real quick (so long T.I.). So when it comes right down to it – Chip Chimney does not smoke weed. The realest fiends are the ones who keep their vices secret. Cuz murder? Extortion? Drug running? Robbery? Those motives are meant to be buried, not trumpeted. So the next time a rapper tries to sell you on how "real" he is, check the tags. Cuz more than likely, they're not even trying to convince you – they're trying to convince themselves.
I'm the muthaphuckkin MadStepDad and you just got shot in the head.
THE NEW & IMPROVED TERROR SQUAD
Bronx-based rap collective Terror Squad is setting the stage for bigger things, as it signs a new deal with Koch Records. Under the new deal, Terror Squad will release two albums on Koch.
"We've had major success with Koch and the Terror Squad imprint in the past, especially with DJ Khaled's two albums," said Fat Joe in a statement. "We will continue this success with this new Terror Squad deal at Koch Records. It's a perfect place to unveil our new members." The deal marks a new chapter for Terror Squad. The group has released two albums, 1999's self-titled Terror Squad and 2004's True Story. The latter album spawned the hit "Lean Back" which featured former group member Remy Ma. Together, the albums have sold close to 750,000 copies.
Through an existing deal with Koch, group member DJ Khaled has released two albums for Terror Squad/Koch Records. His latest album, We the Best, is approaching 300,000 units sold on the strength of hits such as "We Takin' Over," and "I'm So Hood." "The Terror Squad albums at Koch are going to be huge," added DJ Khaled, who believes the new alliance "is going to make history." "Koch is a label that works their artists to victory," he stated. "I'm happy to be a part of two big families!"
MSD's RAP TRIVIA QUIZ Enough of the doom and gloom, let's have a little fun. Here's a little trivia quiz for the real heads out there reading this. Not your stereotypical A-B-C true or false questions, but an exercise in reading between the lines. I'm going to quote a quick rap bar from notable MCs, and your quest is to decipher their true meanings. References are meant to be caught, and codes meant to be broken. So follow along – read the rhymes – and see if you can catch the drift. BE FOREWARNED – I will be purposely misspelling (or rather – "spelling correctly") certain key phrases or words that would give the entire answer away. Here's an easy example so you know what I'm talking about…
EXAMPLE
"This verse goes out to my n****z in jail, beating they dicks to the Double X-L
Magazine…. (uh)… You like how I look in the aqua green? Get your Vaseline…
• Lil Kim - "How Many Licks" ANSWER
She's referencing the May 2000 issue of XXL Magazine, in which she owned the cover shot. Inside were some VERY scintillating, scorching images of a nude Lil Kim in soapy bath water, covering her nipples with just her hands. We all know how image conscious she is, and these pictures were some of her best ever. There's also an article about her amidst the two steamy photos, but who cares? Black Rob and Beanie Sigel also had features in this issue.
See? Told you it was easy. But the rest… eh, maybe not so. So put on your thinking caps (the one that starts with "G" and ends with "Vega") and let it burn. Answers later.
1) "I had nothing but I made something outta that
Now I'm first out the limo like Charlie Mack…
* Black Thought of The Roots - "Game Theory"
2) "You cats is home, screaming the fight's on
I'm in the fifteen hundred seats, watching Ty-son
Same night…same fight.
But one of us cats ain't playin right (I let you tell it)"
* Jay-Z - "I Love The Dough"
3) "I'm Anthony Senior – they Jackie Juniors…"
* Jo Jo Pellegrino - UNRELEASED
4) "I got Bobby by the pound, Whitney by the key
DJ Screw by the gallon, bitch the game belongs to me…"
* Pimp C - "The Game Belongs To Me"
5) "Ultra violence be running through my head,
fuzzy navel y'all making me see red…
* Beastie Boys - "Looking Down The Barrel of a Gun"
6) "A shy n**** but I ain't ya fucking comforter.
And if I ever fall in love I bet I'm fuckin her
* Notorious B.I.G. - "Living The Life"
7) "You can't touch my riches…
Even if you had MC Hammer and them 3-5-7 bitches…
* Notorious B.I.G. - "Come On"
8) "Thousands of cracks bagged up inside the shoebox
Don't keep jack in my lap, don't wanna see 2Pac"
* Ghostface Killah - "Verbal Intercourse"
9) They bombed innocent people trying to murder Saddam
When you gave him those chemical weapons to go to war with Iran
This is the information they hold back from Peter Jennings
Cuz Condoleeza Rice is just a new age Sally Hemmings…
* Immortal Technique - "4th Branch"
There. Impress me. Re-read those statements if you have to, and analyze them to the fullest. Send your test results to MadStepDad@GMail.com and we'll see who's the realest player in the game. Full answers next week. Who knows? You may even get some shine and find your name in the bright lights, right here in ELYSIAN FIELDS.
CELEBRITY RAP SUPERSTAR
The right person won. I voted for Shar Jackson after the second to last episode, but I just got around to watching the finale last night. It's been sitting on my DVR just waiting for some time and a blunt to burn. And guess what – MTV lit it up!
I started this exodus with low expectations. Really, how serious can you take ANY Hip Hop endeavor on MTV? Granted it was probably the greenery, but I was entranced by the first episode. The so-called celebrities were lame, and they're performances even worse. But the vibe was right, the mentors were on point and the song selection was surprisingly entertaining. Suffice to say, over the next 6 or 8 weeks that followed the show grew on me. I grew to appreciate some of the celebrities and even find humor in the worst offenders (Jason Wahler and Efren Ramirez were pretty funny in hindsight). But goddamn – Shar Jackson blew me away. It almost washes away the stain of her relationship with K-Fed (but not quite). Kendra Wilkinson was cute, but did not deserve to be a finalist. Sebastian Bach, maybe. But not Hugh Hefner's girlfriend. Even still, she did an admirable job and looked GREAT rapping on stage with the mute button on.
The finale was just the capper to an excellent first series. The guys got together to perform "Shake Your Tailfeather" and "Slam" (by Onyx) while the girls (including drama queen Perez Hilton) teamed up for "Whatta Man". But the highlight of the night for me was all 8 of the professional rap mentors collaborating on stage with a lively rendition of "Rappers Delight". MC Lyte even had the courtesy and courage to shout out Grandmaster Caz at the songs conclusion! That's real Hip Hop right there, baby! Overall it was an excellent show and I'm glad I actually watched it instead of just sticking my nose up at it.
BROKEN WINGS
Imprisoned rapper Foxy Brown has been sentenced to 76 days in solitary confinement on Rikers Island over several infractions, including an altercation with another inmate. According to The New York Post, Foxy Brown was removed from the general population of the prison and placed in a segregated cell after she committed three violations this month in the jail. On October 3, Foxy Brown and another female prisoner became involved in a shoving as they headed to a dining hall. The following day, Brown, born Inga Marchand, was allegedly verbally abusive towards correction officers and she refused to submit to a random drug test. On October 12, Brown allegedly refused to board a bus three times to attend a scheduled arraignment in Brooklyn Court. Brown spends up to 23 hours a day locked in her cell and is allowed an hour of personal time each day. A judge sentenced Foxy Brown to a year in prison in September, after the Brooklyn rapper violated her probation when she assaulted her neighbor with a Blackberry during an argument in July.
LOST in the LAB This is the part of our show where I dig into my archives and unearth some of rap's hidden jewels. These album or song choices may be shrouded in obscurity, or on the top of everybody's "Heard Of" list. They could be a few months young, or 25 years old. But one thing is sure - it's all HIP HOP MUSIC, and it's comin live and direct from Elysian Fields!
Mobb Deep JUVENILE HELL
4th & Bway an Island Records, Inc. Company
1992
The Real Side (Side A) begins with a quick "Intro" that finds Prodigy sparkin a blunt and talking over a mellow self-produced instrumental. Welcome to Juvenile Hell – "you won't survive long". Beat slowly fades out and the first real song – "Me & My Crew" – hits your ears. This beat is jamming (production by Keith Spencer and Dale Hogan) and P's hardcore rhymes – while not quite Murda Muzik – come awfully close. "I represent the brothers from Queensbridge"! With that line, a Hip Hop movement is put into place. "Locked In Spofford" opens with Havoc identifying himself as "the little juvenile criminal". Horror stories from juvenile detention, standard stuff like box cutters to the face and jacked phone time. Production contains a sample of "Somebody Owns a Piece of the Rock" by David Porter.
"Peer Pressure" follows and is probably the realest joint on the tape. Recorded by The Large Professor with additional production and remix by DJ Premier, "Peer Pressure" personifies inner city angst at it's absolute worst. 15 years later and it's still relevant. Sadly, concepts like this will last within humanity forever. It's only human nature. "Skit #1" is a quick Jamaican gangsta interlude with somebody poppin shots. This breaks into "Hold Down The Fort", decorated with machine gun fire and Havoc headshots like "it's time to drop the bomb, word is bond!" It's all about repping for your block by any means necessary (even if it means shooting at cops). Interestingly, Prodigy shouts out an early SOURCE contributor for what I can only assume was a Poetical Prophets (Mobb Deep's original stage name) appearance in "Unsigned Hype" ("peace to Mattie C good lookin out, B"). "Bitch Ass N***a" ends Side A (excuse me, "The Real Side") by rolling out an early Tribe-inspired instrumental by Paul Shabazz over which the young Mobb kicks more of that ignorant street shit. "You can't kill me cuz I can't kill myself – and if I got beef then I got it for self. And if I catch a body I catch it for self – to me, murder is good for the health".
"Hit It From The Back" opens up The Chill Side (Side B) and is perhaps the Mobb's most infamous song. It's a ridiculously juvenile ode to doggy style sex that's both hard to hear and hard to believe. "Skit #2" knocks hard with a rugged, jazzy beat and a few random Hip Hop adlibs ("a one two! A one two!"). Fat beat, unfortunately it lasts only 43 seconds. "Stomp Em Out" bleeds out next with Prodigy jumpin on some of that early, dusty hoods in the corridor shit. Havoc helps bring ruckus on the mic promising to "put a fuckin cap in the neighborhood bully". "Stomp Em Out" is another one of the early singles I believe, and definitely Juvenile Hell's most reliable. Marlon Lawe helps with the reggae chants on the hook and a young Tajua Perry (aka Big Noid) reps alongside his Mobb brethren.
"Skit #3" slows it down just a touch with a quick 15 second drum loop, before launching into "Peer Pressure (The Large Professor Remix)". "I walk the streets with a fuck you attitude" is one of the most recognizable samples in Hip Hop history. Mobb Deep has long had a reputation for being studio gangstas (since Jigga pulled they card in 01), and "Peer Pressure" traces that evolution with Prodigy bars like "in junior high, I used to wonder why - certain females went out with certain guys/Then one day, it all dawned on me, you gotta be down and have it goin on see…". See? "Project Hallways" is more of that Illegal meets Kriss Kross colliding with da Youngstas sound prevalent in pre-teen acts in the early ‘90s (all striving to stay as far away from Another Bad Creation as possible). "Flavor For The Non Believes" ends the album with a moment of mediocrity. Overall, it's not a bad record. But one that definitely set the Mobb movement off on the wrong foot - for me at least. I remember in High School when EVERYBODY was sweating the Mobb (cuz of Hell on Earth and The Infamous), but I just said "the Juvenile Hell kids"???? That was my first - and most lasting - impression of Mobb Deep, and it took me many years to get over that initial speed bump. Most of these other cats had never even heard of this album, and if they had I'm sure they would have slept on their later releases as well. For some reason, promoters and companies in the early 90's felt kids cussing and acting like tweeners on wax would sell records. But the most apt portrayal of this phenemenon can be found in the video of Public Enemy's "Give It Up" (remember the one where they dissed females and kids acting like gangstas, and neighborhood white boys trying to rap? That's what I'm talking about). Give this record a 4.5 and be done with it.
OUTRO The 411Mania CHAMPION of CHAMPIONS Hip Hop tourney is a long and arduous journey. One stocked with empty Corona bottles and pot holes in the lawn. Last year I went solo – but this year I'm bringing a few of my friends along. So be on the lookout for the BIGGEST year end spectacular in 411Music Hip Hop history, coming soon. Roll call for you real Hip Hop heads out there – along with your answers to the trivia quiz given above, make sure you include YOUR top picks for 2007 Rap Record of the Year. We gonna do it big time, big timer!
Speaking of real Hip Hop - Showchi Tyler looks at the controversial title of Nas' new album. Nothing screams "keep it real!" louder than a Shel Silverstein reference in a rap music column!
Poor Pat Robinson. First Soulja Boy and now J Holiday. Isn't it a shame all the hazing we do to our 411Music newbies?
That's all for now! Send in those trivia answers, give me some Top Records of 2007 and above all else – stay bombed like 20 cans of Real Kill Indoor Fogger! Peace!
