Sex, News & Violins 10.25.07
Posted by Jamie Buttineau on 10.25.2007
I'm still here folks. Cat Power covers have a tracklist, Hot Chip has a hot fish of a new album, aaaaand other other stuff.
Man this one is really late. Hey you try having your computer break down while at the same time having homework pile up to the point where you have to stay up all late to write 20 000 words of stuff. So after writing out two essays by hand and then going into town picking up my computer from the the shop and then writing out this whole thing as quickly as humanly possible, I'm very very tired. Yeah, I bet you wouldn't want to try that would ya sally?
Let's start the show.
Viewer Mail
Oh, it's the rarest of mails, the response to a response of a hate mail! Eeeeee! It's from Kerri Lopez once again:
If you truly listen to the lyrics of "Have a Nice Day" you will realize
that the title and song is completely sarcastic. It's meant to in a
verbal
way, as the expression goes, "flip someone the bird" when they annoy
the
crap out of you for whatever reason (When the world keeps trying to
drag
me down, well I'll raise my hands and I'll stand my ground and I'll
say,
Hey, Have a Nice Day." . Also, if Bruce was so proud to be from NJ, why
did he call one of his albums "Nebraska", and not "New Jersey" as
BonJovi
did?! (and no, "Greetings from Asbury Park" doesn't count). NOT TO
MENTION, BonJovi's "Who Says You Can't Go Home", is set to become the
official NJ State Song - NOT A BRUCE SONG.
And just remember, "100,000,000 Fans Can't Be Wrong".
Also, are you really supposed to be a music reporter? If you are, then
how
could you not know that the song that HIM covered that you claim to
like
is called "Wicked Game" (originally recorded by Chris Issak), and not
"I
want to fall in Love" as you stated in your retort. Get your
information
straight. In my opinion, HIM's cover version is far superior to the
original.
Let me end this email by saying one more thing..........Have a Nice
Day.
Kerri Lopez
NEW JERSEY
Hahaha, oh my, this is a fun email. I love hate mail, I really do. I mean seriously, I was feeling kinda bummed this week but this totally cheered me up. Oh dear, wherever to begin.
First of all, analyzing the lyrics of a Bon Jovi song? I mean seriously, the lyrics of a Bon Jovi song? That's just sad.
Also, maybe Bruce Springsteen called that album Nebraska because it had more to do with Nebraska than New Jersey? Hmmm, you know what's weird about that? It almost seems to make sense. Hmmm.
Also, I'm fairly positive 100,000,000 fans can be wrong. That's approximately how many fans there are of the Spice Girls, Celine Dion and many other craptacular acts. So yeah, 100,000,000 fans can sure as fuck be wrong. Unless you're into that whole conformity and mob mentality thing, in which case be my guest sister.
And on miscalling the title of "Wicked Game", I just really didn't care. Sorry but HIM in no way interests me. Although I do like the lead singer's name, Ville Valo. Or maybe it's Veille Vullo. Or Voile Vito. Yeah, in fact I'm pretty sure it's Voile Vito. So that is what I will call him.
Also, are you really supposed to be someone writing a hate mail? If so, how could you call my "report" a "retort"? Granted I did retort to what you said, but it's not a music retort. My entire column is not a retort, I prefer to think of it as the pissed off ramblings of a music snob. It seems more quaint that way. And as a "Bon Jovi" fan, shouldn't you know that "BonJovi" is not one word? Also, your grasp of punctuation and paragraph structuring is, well, not good. Perhaps it is you who should get their information straight, hmmm my dear? Oooooooo, snap.
But I do appreciate you telling me to have a nice day. That was actually rather polite of-Hey wait a minute! You didn't actually want me to have a nice day! You were only being sarcastic! Damn you and your wit! Now the nice day I potentially could have had is forever tainted by your facetious comment! Oh how I will rue this day!
So in closing, I must say you are quite the adversary Ms. Lopez. In fact, I can think of only one other Lopez nearly as cutthroat as you…
Thank you for reading.
Coming To You Live From A Series Of Tubes
The Arcade Fire with Bruce fuckin' Springsteen, "Keep The Car Running"
So fucking good it goes beyond words. Words do not describe the greatness of this. Hey Lopez, this is why Springsteen is and always will be way cooler than Bon Jovi. Fucking amazing. Just annoy the jackasses yelling.
Headlines!!
Better Than Caturday….Seriously
Hmmm, three multi-coloured clones of Chan Marshall. That would be a fun night.
More information about Cat Power's Jukebox, her next cover album, has rather quickly come out. I mean I just talked about it last night. I like that, it's nice and fast.We have a tracklist so we have a better idea of what will be on it. And to be honest it's looking pretty good. I mean there's the obvious choice of a Bob Dylan song, but there's also "New York, New York" and motherfuckin' "Fortunate Son" by CCR. The Dude abides.
Jukebox Tracklist:
01 Theme From 'New York, New York' (Kander/Ebb; originally sung by Frank Sinatra)
02 Metal Heart (Cat Power)
03 Ramblin' (Wo)man (Hank Williams)
04 Song To Bobby (Cat Power-- new song)
05 Aretha, Sing One For Me (J Harris/Eugene William; originally sung by George Jackson)
06 Lost Someone (James Brown)
07 I Believe In You (Bob Dylan)
08 Fortunate Son (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
09 Silver Stallion (Lee Clayton)
10 Dark End of the Street (Chips Moman/Dan Penn; originally sung by James Carr)
11 Don't Explain (Billie Holiday)
12 Woman Left Lonely (Spooner Oldham/Dan Penn, popularized by Janis Joplin)
Looks pretty good don't it? I'm looking forward to it. But it's Chan Marshall so that goes without saying. Tour dates!
Me-Ow:
10-19 Savannah, GA - Trustee's Theatre
10-20 Orlando, FL - The Club at Firestone
10-21 St. Petersburg, FL - State Theatre
10-22 Miami, FL - Studio A
10-25 São Paulo, Brazil - Auditório Ibirapuera (TIM Festival) #
10-26 Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - Marina da Glória (TIM Festival) $
11-04 Austin, TX - Fun Fun Fun Fest
# with Antony and the Johnsons, Toni Platão
$ with Feist
Geeks Can Dance Too
I quite enjoyed Hot Chip's last album The Warning. It was a solid effort and I still like to crank it up every so often. And it looks like I'll get a chance to geek out while I rock out yet again as Hot Chip has announced their followup to The Warning entitled Made In The Dark.
It's tentative release date currently stands as February 4 in the UK and February 5 in North America. There's no official tracklist yet but the album will have 13 tracks, among which will be "Wrestlers", "Out At The Pictures", "Shake A Fist", "Bendable Poseable", "We're Looking For A Lot Of Love", "Ready For The Floor", "One Pure Thought", "In The Privacy Of Our Love", and of course the title track. So, that's basically all your tracks right there. We just don't know how they're listed yet.
More info will be forthcoming about the album in the coming months I would imagine, and the band doesn't plan to tour anytime soon until the new album is released. In the meantime though, they still have a few dates set up so if you want to see the biggest geeks in the music world perform, this would be your shot.
That little guy in the goofy sweaters and huge glasses must get laid like all the time:
10-14 London, England - Scala (Worried Noodles release party/benefit)
10-27 Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - Marina de Gloria (TIM Festival)
10-28 São Paulo, Brazil - Anhembi Sumba Drum (TIM Festival)
10-31 Curitiba, Brazil - Pedriero Paulo Leminski (TIM Festival)
11-02 Buenos Aires, Argentina - Crobar
11-11 Buenos Aires, Argentina - Personal Fest
RAPIDFIRE NEWS SMARTASSERY!!
Britney Spears tried to get custody of her kids back, but that didn't work out so well. In fact, as of now her visitation rights have been suspended. Man, Britney's going to be a worse celebrity mom than Lucille Ball. I wonder which of those kids is gonna wind up like Liza Minelli.
Radiohead's latest album In Rainbows has currently been downloaded a rather remarkable 1.2 million times. Oh Thom Yorke, are there any trends that you won't buck?
So, that whole "beonlineb" thing for The Arcade Fire? Yeah, it was for a music video where you get to click on Win Butler's hands and weird things happen….So, yeah.
Apparently The White Stripes are hocking cameras now. Well, whatever helps pay for Meg's anxiety medication I suppose. Poor drummer lady.
Apparently Portishead has just begun mixing their next album. So, there's your yearly Portishead update. Tune out next year to find out they have an album cover in mind maybe.
Nas' new album will be simply titled…Ahem, Nigger. Ooooo, look at me, I'm Nas, I'm soooo controversial. I'm going to use a taboo word as my album title. Oooooo, look at all the attention I'm going to get. Trying a little too hard now aren't we Nas my man?
Apparently Diddy has an assault case going at the moment. I dunno how but somehow I think this will end with the plaintiff going to jail instead of Diddy. Don't ask me how, Diddy so rich he can probably bribe everyone to the point where he gets to be the judge for his own trial. Who would have thought you could profit from the death of Biggie that much? Unreal.
T.I. was put in jail on weapons charges recently. Then again, maybe it was T.I.P.?! Maybe it's all a setup! T.I. was framed! Dammit cops, you got the wrong man!
Pete Doherty wants to create a private place for him and his pals like Amy Winehouse to hang out. Because public crack houses just don't work out very well. Does it not bother anybody that somehow this guy is still alive?
During a video shoot for the Spice Girls comeback video some of the members threw temper tantrums, Geri Halliwell did weird spiritual crap, whoever the hell Baby Spice is started to cry and the others were cited for diva like behaviour and basically everyone hates everyone. So of course the new song is called "Headline (Friendship Never Ends)", because irony is awesome.
Johnny Marr was recently named a University Professor. Because he is Johnny fuckin' Marr. I'm more surprised he wasn't named the dean.
In a new book detailing the best Canadian albums of all time, Neil Young's Harvest was voted as the top Canadian album. Which is just wrong, haven't they heard Patrick Watson's album! This is a gross mistake! Patrick Watson was robbed!
Patrick Watson, man was that stupid.
Chuck Berry is 81 today. And the countdown to his eventual biopic begins.
US Customs guards at the Canadian border seized a hard drive containing tracks from Chris Walla's upcoming solo album on it. Yes, because if anyway is going to be a threat it's going to be one of the guys involved with Death Cab For Cutie. Seriously, have those morons ever heard Death Cab For Cutie? If those guys are terrorists then they're the cuddliest terrorists I've ever seen….Although maybe that's their plan all around! My god, what if Ben Gibbard is just Osama Bin Laden without a beard?! We've been fooled people! To the underground bunkers for safety, hurray!
Billboard Top 20
1. Kid Rock, Rock ‘N Roll Jesus – Aww man, this means that Kid Rock is relevant again. Fuck, now we're back to square one. We were so close to being rid of him too! Damn it, if Limp Bizkit ever makes a comeback I'm going to be so pissed
2. Bruce Springteen, Magic – I haven't heard the Boss's new album yet but I'm intending to get it. Although I'm pissed that Kid Rock of all people managed to beat him at the top. Damn it all.
3. Rascal Flatts, Still Feels Good – Indeed, the thoughts of you guys falling into an industrial strength meat grinder do still feel quite good.
4. LeAnn Rimes, Still Family – Piper Pirabo really deserves to get more work. She was so hot back around that whole Coyote Ugly thing.
5. Matchbox Twenty, Exile On Mainstream – Matchbox Twenty is still around!? Really?! Wow, it's like the 90's all over again.
6. Kanye West, Graduation – It's still so very very awesome. It really is.
7. Reba McEntire, Reba Duets – Does Reba reminds anyone else of Slappy Squirrel?
8. Sara Evans, Greatest Hits - ….Who?
9. Various Artists, High School Musical 2 Soundtrack – Kids will buy anything won't they?
10. Josh Groban, Noel – God bless this man, all it takes to woo a woman these days is to throw on a Josh Groban album and watch them melt. You sir are a saint, even if your music is kinda blah.
11. Keyshia Cole, Just Like You – You have an irrational attraction to the girl who played Darlene on Roseanne too?! Soulmate!
12. Jennifer Lopez, Brave – Debut at number 12? Man, Jen you gotta dump that current husband and get with someone famous again.
13. Alter Bridge, Blackbird – Anything that has anything to do with Creed is evil and deserves to be burned.
14. Eric Clapton, Complete Clapton – Hell yeah, I might pick this up.
15. Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em, souljatell'em.com - ….I don't know what this is but I know I probably fuckin' hate them. Or ‘em.
16. Colbie Caillat, Coco – I'm not cuckoo for this coco fluff
17. Foo Fighters, Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace – Between Dave Grohl and Courtney Love I wonder who the ghost of Kurt Cobain visits more?
18. Jill Scott, The Real Thing – As opposed to everything else, which must be artificial.
19. 50 Cwent, Curtis – Man you really got your ass beat down didn't ya Curt?
20. J. Holiday, Back Of My ‘Lac – This one is about sex in the back of a car!
Important New Releases Of The Week….According To Me
Spencer Krug ladies and gentlemen. It seems like you can't go two months without new music that somehow is connected with him. Last year's Shut Up I Am Dreaming ended up making my ten top list of 2006. This year he released a album with Frog Eyes and his Wolf Parade band mate released an album as Handsome Furs, which I haven't heard yet unfortunately. And now, there's Random Spirit Lover, which may even be better than Shut Up I Am Dreaming. It's such a good album, it's Krugness at it's purest. With complicated and strange lyrics, combined with Krug's yelping and keyboard weirdness it's almost exactly what you would expect and want from him. If you are a Spencer Krug fan than you will pick this up, because October is looking like a pretty dead month music wise, so this is very likely the best this month has to offer by far….Or was anyway. Damn you Thom Yorke!
Support The Municipality!!
Hmmm, you know usually I can predict what Ian Wright is going to talk about in his columns, but this week I have no idea what he's going to talk about. Nope. Absolutely none. Nada. I'm flabbergasted. Might be a slow week for the Wrightster this week.
IT'S OVER!!
Getting better, I was able to cram a bit more in it at least. And next week I'll have my thoughts on the new Radiohead album. Because come on, it's the new Radiohead album, how can you not talk about it? I just got it this week however so I need some time to analyse the hell out of it. Damn you Thom Yorke and your revolutionary methods!
