Quick ‘n’ Dirty Music News: 02.22.08

Posted by Mitch Michaels on 02.22.2008

Brief album reviews for 2Pac, BFMV and others, the Gene Simmons sex tape, Grammy fallout for Amy Winehouse, Michael Jackson and Herbie Hancock, American Idol thoughts, Britney doesn’t wear panties – we get it, Paul McCartney’s divorce, plus album previews featuring Goldfrapp, chart news and Janet Jackson is our Piece Of The Week!

Happy last week of Black History Month chump stains! I'm Mitch Michaels, and damn, it's good to be back doing the Quick ‘n' Dirty News with you. I know I've only missed one week - thanks to pressure at home…water pressure that is, my fucking tank crapped out on me and cost me a wonderful $1200 to replace. I guess my fucking house caught wind of my upcoming tax return and decided to seek revenge the only way it knew how. Why my house beefs with me like that, I'll never know.

Anyway, I've only been away one week, but two weeks ago was my fucking STELLAR Grammy preview, so this feels like the first regular QnD I've done all month.

But this is no regular QnD. You see, we have a new guy onboard at 411. Blake Lauderback has finally managed to usurp Ask 411 Music, ending the open-ended hiatus I set the column on throughout most of 2007. Despite a slight twinge of sadness and anger on my own part, (purely territorial) feel free to check him out, as he's 90% Mitch Michaels-Approved (still gotta work on that excessive Beatles love, though).

That means, with Ask 411 Music no longer mine, I'm going to be bringing some of my favorite features from that column over to the QnD. Oh, it's gonna be a fun ol' time people. So let's get to it.

It's quick. It's dirty. It's news.




Album Reviews…In Brief

Our first new old feature. A lot of people have asked me about what CD's I've been buying since I quit doing this round up in Ask 411, so here's a nice update.

There's been a ton of buzz lately over Bullet For My Valentine's Scream Aim Fire, which was released at the end of January. I got a copy of this record from one of 411's fine partners and, wow, it's as good as people say. Equal parts heavy and melodic rock, it's a commercial spin on the days of thrash. If you hear "Hearts Burst Into Fire" and don't like it, you're hopeless.

Every once in a while, my wife makes me go to the fucking grocery store with her. As much as I love food, I have no interest in its purchase. This can be remedied if we take a trip to Wal*Mart, as I can just wander off into the music section, but Wal*Mart is so damned crowded with, well…Wal*Mart customers, that a grocery trip there is doomed from the start. Instead, a couple weeks ago we went to our local Shoppers. In true Mitch Michaels fashion, I bought the only CD in the store, a copy of Smokey Robinson & The Miracles' The Ultimate Collection, which was on sale as part of some Valentine's Day setup. This is a GREAT sounding set of remastered Motown hits, released in 1998. At 25 tracks, it is the definitive Smokey Robinson collection and, at $10, a real steal. Aside from hits like "Tracks Of My Tears" and "You've Really Got A Hold On Me", you also get "Way Over There", which was the first real Motown single.

I was cruising Best Buy with a sawbuck burning a hole in my pocket, when I came across the recent Best Of 2Pac CD's for ten dollars each. I never bought 2Pac's Greatest Hits, so I thought this would remedy that. While the set IS good, and contains some of 2Pac's biggest hits ("2 Of Americaz Most Wanted", "California Love"), it's definitely not worth buying over Hits. Too much of the set (especially Part 2: Life) is made up of subpar posthumous material, and the two unreleased tracks from the series are totally forgettable. Combine that with some very minimal packaging (all you get is info on some charity), and this 2 disc set isn't much to recommend for hardcore or casual fans.

So, I finally got around to picking up Amy Winehouse's Back To Black, which I found on sale at Target. I'd been rocking a downloaded copy for a while, so I figured it was time to stop screwing around and make an honest woman out of her. I can't tell you how WORTH the hype this set is. It's just entirely cool and Amy's vocals are smooth and unique. Having this album on CD (ie, CD quality) has really reintroduced the music to me. Plus, everyone else is buying this set after Amy's Grammy wins.

Dwight Yoakam's Dwight Sings Buck is the product of one of the aforementioned Wal*Mart grocery trips. An album of all Buck Owens covers seems like a fit for Dwight, but there's a passion missing here. Perhaps it's the palpable sadness in the wake of Buck's death, but these tracks don't come across with an air of fun that was always present during Dwight's actual collaborations with Buck. It's not a bad set, just not what I'd hoped for. Another example of missing Buck Owens, I guess.

I picked up the debut by Nick Cave's Grinderman for two reasons. One, I was on a Cave high after watching his Abbatoir Blues Tour DVD, and two, my local fye was going out of business, so all their CD's were on sell. Of course, that just meant that you could pick CD's up for a reasonably sane price, given fye's propensity for given it to you up the ass with their prices. And I'm talking FIST, not cock. Anyway, it wasn't like I was gonna find Grinderman at Wal*Mart, so I thought this was a sound purchase. And it was. If you enjoy Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds' earlier albums (before he became a piano balladeer), full of rage and insanity, you'll be glad to hear that Cave can still go nuts these many years later.

Another pair of fye clearance items. I felt the Goo Goo Dolls' Greatest Hits, Vol. 1: The Singles was a real bargain for under eight bucks. The Goos have had their share of big hits, and Hits tears through the best, like "Iris", "Slide", "Black Balloon" and "Let Love In". The only problem is that Hits doesn't contain any music from the Goos pre-Dizzy Up The Girl era. Most won't notice this, as the band's biggest hits have came out since, but a Goo Goo Dolls compilation without "Long Way Down" seems a little off. To make up for this, the Goos have rerecorded a version of their '95 breakout hit "Name". The song fails to live up to the original though. I also picked up Nirvana's Bleach, completing my Nirvana collection. I'd heard most of the Bleach songs (via live albums and the box set), but hearing them together makes for an interesting look at what the band was like on Sub Pop. If you don't dig "Love Buzz" and "Negative Creep", you can't call yourself a Nirvana fan.

STAND BY…FOR NEWS!

All news items are from 411 Music's newswire:

Well, It's No "Kiss Meets The Phantom Of The Park"…

The big breaking news this week is the sex tape that has been "leaked" of Gene Simmons plowing some European chick named Elsa, who also happens to be a spokesmodel for an energy drink called Frank's. The sex tape is available for only $9.99 at GenesSecret.com, and it's being utilized as a promotional campaign for Frank's, claiming that the 58 year-old KISS bassist used the energy drink to call the God Of Thunder on Elsa's ass. That's pretty clever, actually. Anyway, no need to watch the whole thing, as I've got some stills right here for you:


You can also check out a few clips at this site, though they are NSFW.

It only took Gene a day to post a response on his official web page, which was short and to the point:

"You may have heard or seen garbage that has sprung up from my past. Rest assured the proper legal team is looking at all ramifications and options."

This smells like a publicity stunt to me. And really, what's so scandalous about Gene Simmons banging some chick? He openly admits to being a sex freak with a mile long tongue. I'd say Gene got a nice bit of coin for this low quality sex tape, and in turn, we get promotion for this relatively unknown energy drink (with whom Gene has done promotion in the past) and even Gene Simmons' crappy reality show, "Gene Simmons' Family Jewels", which, since Dog The Bounty Hunter went all Kramer on us, is A&E's top rated show.

So who is really hurt here? It's not like Gene Simmons is the gold standard of monogamy and it's not like his wife, ADULT EROTICA B-MOVIE QUEEN PLAYBOY MODEL Shannon Tweed is gonna lose any sleep over it. As long as Gene is making some coin (which is ALL he cares about), then all parties are square.

Grammy Fallout

The Grammys are nearly two weeks old now, but there is still news coming out of that ceremony. Plus, I wasn't around to talk about it last week, so give me a break.

The biggest news is the resurgence of Amy Winehouse, who surprised everyone by being lucid in a performance that was shown via satellite during the awards. Amy was granted her U.S. visa at the last minute, but opted to stay in London and broadcast remotely. Turns out, that leaves the Recording Academy with a hefty shipping bill, as Amy picked up five Grammy Awards, including Record and Song of the Year and Best Pop Vocal Album.

Amy's Grammy wins (and another good showing at this week's BRIT Awards) seem to have picked up her public image a bit, as even a story about her husband OD'ing in prison couldn't really stir up trouble. It's amazing what an extremely BRIEF trip to rehab can do for people's opinions.

Other big news in the Grammy fallout is how Amy Winehouse's Back To Black jumped from #24 to #2 this week, thanks to moving over 115,000 following the big telecast. Herbie Hancock's River: The Joni Mitchell Letters also jumped, from #159 to #5, thanks to a near 1,000% sales increase. That's due to Herbie picking up the Grammy for Album of the Year. The media gave Herbie a lot of shit as "the album that no one has heard of", but let me ask you this: How many fucking people have actually seen Atonement, Michael Clayton or There Will Be Blood? And yet, the media has their big Oscar hard-ons out in full force for those obscurities. I for one am glad that the Grammys continue to reward both excellence and commercial success.

And finally, one person who DIDN'T show at the Grammys is making news, and that is Michael Jackson. Early rumors were that Jackson was going to return for a surprise performance to promote the 25th anniversary of Thriller. Those rumors were eventually shot down, though Michael's reps confirmed that he would at least be there. This proved untrue as well, as everyone's favorite whacko was missing come the big show. So where was he?

The word now is that Jackson pissed off Grammy organizers by making outlandish demands to ensure his attendance, including insisting he be referred to as "The King Of Pop" at least 30 times throughout the night and that he be given a special award by a presenter of his choosing. Word has it that it was a member of the award winning St. Stephens Eagles boy's basketball team.


Seriously, 30 times? Does he realize that would be once ever SIX minutes? That would mean that Kanye West would have actually had to stop in the middle of his performance of "Stronger" and say "Hey, is that The King Of Pop, Michael Jackson? It's kind of dark in here and I can't really see through these weird sunglasses."

Of course, all of this insanity doesn't matter, as the special 25th Anniversary edition of Thriller debuted on CD this week and moved over 166,000 copies, which was more than any other CD this week, minus Jack Johnson's #1. Thriller wasn't eligible for the Billboard 200, though, as it is classified as a "Pop Catalog" album. These are records that are over eighteen months old that have since fallen below the #100 position.

And speaking of catalog album, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers also saw a big increase in sales following their performance at the Super Bowl, as their diamond certified Greatest Hits jumped to #1 on the Pop Catalog chart the next week, and their Anthology – Through The Years compilation moved to #7. Not only that, but 63,000 people downloaded copies of "Free Fallin'" the next week, helping it make #10 on the Hot Digital Tracks chart.

So there's a big FUCK YOU to all the people who panned the performance as "subdued". It's Tom FUCKING Petty, a pop rock icon and a stoner fan's dream. What the hell did you expect? An especially big middle finger to the AP, who ran a story about how, shock of shocks, the fans who rushed the stage during the halftime show were PLANTS. So THAT'S why security didn't beat the shit out of them! Also, unbelievably, they were all given the glowsticks that were held up during "Free Fallin'". And here I was thinking they'd just gotten back from the DX merchandise booth. Hey AP, we're not morons. And that was a damn good show, much better than the shit the Stones forcefed us a few years ago.

American Idol Picked Their Top 24 & Mediocrity Was The Big Winner

"American Idol" is back in full swing and, might I say, beginning to look tired in its seventh season. Maybe it's the crows feet and bags under Paula Abdul's eyes. Maybe it's the way Simon has mellowed. Or maybe it's due to the fact that there have only been TWO good moments since the season debuted last month. What were they?

Well, there was the "I Am Your Brother" guy, for one. Seriously, I'm still singing that song:

I am your brother
Your best friend forever
Singing the songs that you love

Brothers till the end of time
Together or not, you'll still be in my heart
Something something…

Here, he does it better:


Heartwarming.

Then there was the last Hollywood episode, where the judges chose the Final 24, which did NOT include Josiah Leming. Actually, all you have to do to hate him is look at him:


Not enough? Well, how about this. He's an 18-year old that cries about EVERYTHING, who lived in his car and sang with a British accent. Even though he was from Tennessee. Doesn't Jason Isbell warn about such things?

Josiah got so confident over his brief tenure on the show, that he dismissed the A.I. house band for his final audition, claiming they just weren't understanding what he wanted to play. He then proceeded to butcher "Stand By Me", which led to his prompt axing.

Listen, I ALWAYS hate the A.I. contestants. And this year is no different (bunch of mediocre singers and pansies, really). But I REALLY hated Josiah. And rarely do I feel vindicated by having someone I despise on TV not be rewarded. So I consider Josiah's American Idol loss and his subsequent tears my feel good TV moment of the year.

In other American Idol news, the Final 24 took the stage live this week, and now YOU, "Mr. Can't get enough AI" can download audio and video of the performances via iTunes. Because God knows the money you spent texting your votes wasn't quite enough to give to this show which airs on FREE TV. Do yourself a favor. And me a favor. If you are about to go on iTunes and download an A.I. performance, either 1) instead, download the REAL version of those songs, or 2) just go find yourself some rope and an unstable kitchen chair. Trust me, you'll be better off either way.

As The Britney Turns

Britney continues to keep lowkey under the control of her father. Of course, even Daddy can't force her to wear underwear.

Ugh. That was a sick intro to these pics. Just enjoy these crotch shots and move along please.





Everything Else

The UK had held their own little awards show this week (the BRITS) where they honored acts like the Foo Fighters, Take That and the Arctic Monkeys. Paul McCartney was also handed an Outstanding Contributions To Music award, and reportedly brought the house down with a 4-song set of hits. Hard to believe Paul was in such good spirits, as he recently settled his divorce with Heather Mills for $130 million. Paul, buddy, if you need a place to stay, I have a futon in my office.

AC/DC bassist Cliff Williams has said that he and other guys will be heading back to the studio in March to record the band's long awaited follow-up to Stiff Upper Lip, which dates back to 2001. Cliff also teased a tour.

Other bands with new shit on the horizon include Spoon (an EP), U2 (a new album), Avril Lavigne (a baby) and Iron Maiden (a North American tour).

Rapper Tony Yayo was sentenced to community service for charges stemming from an incident where he supposedly slapped a rival rap mogul's 14-year old son. Yayo pleaded guilty to glaring, but denied the smacking. I didn't know glaring was illegal, but there you go. The kid was the son of a guy who manages The Game.

In other rap & violence news, Diddy is claiming that the guy who is alleging he was assaulted by the rapper/producer at a night club actually ran into his fist. Well, it's better than "he ran into a door" I guess.

And that's all I've got for you…


NEW RELEASES FOR FEBRUARY 26, 2007

WHAT EVERYONE WILL BUY:

Janet Jackson - Discipline - Well, seeing as how Janet's pretty lame 20 Y.O. album moved 296,000 copies in its first week back in 2006, I think it's pretty safe to say that Janet has a huge fanbase. There's really no Janet Jackson-level competition for next week, so you can expect this one to be flying off the shelves in similar fashion.

WHAT WILL BE NUMBER ONE:

Last week, we had Jack Johnson holding on to #1, which was pretty easy to predict, as February has been a spotty month for new releases. As I said above, Amy Winehouse, Herbie Hancock and the Grammy Nominees comp all rode the Grammy wave to sales, while nothing at all debuted in the Top 10.

This week may be another easy one for Jack, as there was little to get excited about. Amy Winehouse should slink back down to the 20's, as should Herbie Hancock. Allison Moorer's debut is getting quite a push, but she has never even came near the Top 10. Same goes for The Raveonettes, who have yet to break in the US. Look for another week of status quo, and possibly another jump for the Step Up 2 The Streets soundtrack. Never underestimate Flo Rida's power.

WHAT YOU SHOULD BUY:

There's always something worth buying in the New Release section. Here are my picks:

Erykah Badu - New Amerykah, Pt. One – 4th World War - Despite its ridiculously wordy title, I figure Erykah Badu's new CD will be worth listening to. She's been cool with me ever since she showed up in Blues Brothers 2000.

Goldfrapp - Seventh Tree - Chances are you've heard Goldfrapp's big breakthrough single, "Strict Machine", which was a dance hit in early 2005. This new album should be more of the same, and if you're looking for a late night pulse session (that sounded dirty), this should do the trick.

Dolly Parton - Backwoods Barbie - The old guard of country music continues to find relative things to say. Last we had Loretta Lynn getting all introspective with Jack White. I'm hoping Dolly's latest album will do something similar for her career, as there's much more to this woman than her image.

Tift Merritt - Another Country - More alterna-country goodness. Tift is an amazing songwriter and a great female counterpart to sophisticated acts like Wilco. You won't be disappointed if you buy this.

The Afters - Never Going Back To OK - A great young Christian rock act, the Afters have been MIA since their big 2005 debut, I Wish We All Could Win. Check out their quirky "MySpace Girl" video.

WHAT'S HOT ON THE DIAL?

Billboard has about a million charts, so each week I'm gonna round up the #1s from each format. That way, no matter WHAT station you flip to when not using your presets, you'll be aware of what you might hear. Newly crowned #1s are in bold:

CHART	SINGLE	WEEKS
POP
HOT 100	Flo Rida feat. T-Pain – "Low"	17
HOT 100 AIRPLAY	Flo Rida feat. T-Pain – "Low"	18
POP 100	Flo Rida feat. T-Pain – "Low"	16
POP 100 AIRPLAY	Flo Rida feat. T-Pain – "Low"	16
HOT SINGLES SALES	The White Stripes – "Conquest"	2
BUBBLING UNDER HOT 100 SINGLES	George Strait – "I Saw God Today"	2
DIGITAL
HOT DIGITAL SONGS	Flo Rida feat. T-Pain – "Low"	15
HOT DIGITAL TRACKS	Flo Rida feat. T-Pain – "Low (Album Version)"	15
HOT RINGTONES	Grupo Montez de Durango – "Adios Amor Te Vas"	48
R&B/HIP HOP
HOT R&B/HIP HOP SONGS	Keyshia Cole – "I Remember"	16
HOT R&B/HIP HOP AIRPLAY	Keyshia Cole – "I Remember"	16
HOT ADULT R&B AIRPLAY	Alicia Keys – "Like You'll Never See Me Again"	15
HOT RAP TRACKS	Flo Rida feat. T-Pain – "Low"	22
RHYTHMIC TOP 40	Chris Brown – "With You"	N/A
HOT R&B/HIP HOP SINGLES SALES	Emmanuel – "Swagga"	11
COUNTRY
HOT COUNTRY SONGS	Rodney Atkins – "Cleaning This Gun (Come On In Boy)"	22
ROCK
HOT MODERN ROCK TRACKS	Foo Fighters – "Long Road To Ruin"	17
HOT MAINSTREAM ROCK TRACKS	Puddle Of Mudd – "Psycho"	20
ADULT CONTEMPORARY
HOT ADULT TOP 40 TRACKS	Timbaland feat. OneRepublic – "Apologize"	20
HOT ADULT CONTEMPORARY TRACKS	Colby Caillat – "Bubbly"	29
CHRISTIAN
HOT CHRISTIAN SONGS	MercyMe – "God With Us"	19
HOT CHRISTIAN ADULT CONTEMPORARY	MercyMe – "God With Us"	20
DANCE
HOT DANCE CLUB PLAY	Celeda – "Amazing"	9
HOT DANCE AIRPLAY	Ida Corr – "Let Me Think About It"	16
HOT DANCE SINGLES SALES	Goldfrapp – "A&E"	1
INTERNATIONAL
HOT LATIN SONGS	Enrique Iglesias – "Donde Estan Corazon"	2
EUROPEAN HOT 100 SINGLES	Timbaland feat. OneRepublic – "Apologize"	17
EURO DIGITAL SONGS	Duffy – "Mercy"	1
CANADIAN HOT 100	Flo Rida feat. T-Pain – "Low"	14
RECURRENTS
HOT 100 RECURRENT AIRPLAY	Pink – "Who Knew"	1
HOT SINGLES RECURRENTS	Amy Winehouse – "Rehab"	2
HOT R&B/HIP HOP RECURRENT AIRPLAY	Robin Thicke – "Lost Without U"	13
HOT R&B/HIP HOP RECURRENTS	Robin Thicke – "Lost Without U"	13
HOT COUNTRY RECURRENTS	Taylor Swift – "Our Song"	3
HOT ADULT CONTEMPORARY RECURRENTS	Gwen Stefani feat. Akon – "The Sweet Escape"	8

MUSICAL PIECE OF THE WEEK

We've got another hottie in honor of Black History Month. This week, we celebrate everybody's favorite Super Bowl halftime performer who also happens to be releasing a new CD on Tuesday. She's the chick who's always in Control, the girl you can Call On Anytime, Anyplace, and the lady who's always alright. Janet Jackson is our Piece Of The Week!













THE END

Hope you all had fun. Be sure to drop me a line on what you liked, didn't, etc.

Keep your ears to the ground.