Quick ‘n’ Dirty Music News: 05.09.08
Posted by Mitch Michaels on 05.09.2008
Is Britney keeping it together, Amy Winehouse repulses us, American Idol and the Rock Hall’s Top 500, Daisy Duke vs. Daisy Duke, the R. Kelly trial begins and more! Plus, chart news and previews, Tom Petty’s discography reviewed Part 2 and Gwyneth Paltrow is our special Mother’s Day Piece Of The Week!
Hey hey hey. Mitch Michaels back again with your weekly dose of all that is music. Hope you all got your moms something nice for Mother's Day. The woman gave birth to you, the least you can do is get her some flowers and a card. Unless she's a total bitch or something, then fuck her. But maybe YOU think she's a bitch because you're so damn wrapped up in yourself that you can't see all the things she's sacrificed for you. Or maybe you're BOTH selfish assholes. And in that case…fuck dude, come on. It's a fucking CARD and a phone call. Bring a little happiness to her life for a change, even if she did go through "step daddies" like cheap shoes.
Me? I love my mommy. I got her a digital photo frame.
It's been a long time since we had an episode of "As The Britney Turns". Five weeks, I believe. Well, don't get comfortable kids, because it's all good news this week. Britney had a court date this week, which ultimately ended in her gaining some visitation rights for her kids. If you'll recall, Britney went nuts back in January and her ex Kevin Federline has had sole custody of her two toddlers since.
I wasn't going to give this story its own feature, but the AP release on Britney arriving at the courthouse is too good to pass up. Let's read between the lines, shall we:
Britney Spears showed up at the county courthouse for a custody hearing Tuesday without the usual screaming fans, signs and banners or frenzied paparazzi chase to the parking garage.
Dozens of photographers, reporters, sheriff's deputies and prospective jurors recorded her arrival as a front-seat passenger in a white Land Rover. Then she disappeared into the garage.
In other words, people don't fucking care about this story like they did three months ago.
It's been three months since Spears slipped away from a psychiatric ward and stirred up a paparazzi car chase, a scene that looked like the beginning of even more erratic behavior for the troubled pop star.
Do entertainment writers have the phrase "troubled pop star" hot-keyed? I'm so fucking sick of deleting "troubled pop star" out of 411 news posts. It's a ridiculous phrase. How exactly is Britney Spears "troubled"?
Aw, fuck it. For only $19.99, you can pick up this new shirt at the 411 Store:
If you can't beat ‘em, join ‘em, right?
Back to the AP release.
In the weeks that followed, she acted out of character, all right - she lay low and avoided the cameras. She spent time with family members. She found work, and succeeded at it.
My FAVORITE part. The AP wants us to read this and say, wow, she's really turned things around. First off, she was FORCED to spend time with her family, seeing as how her dad pretty much signed his name on the lease to her life when she checked out of the mental institution. And because of HIM, the press was no longer informed ahead of time about each and every time Britney was going to walk outside. Or have we forgotten about how much Britney liked to fuck with the paparazzi?
But the best thing is "she found work, and she succeeded at it", referring of course to her two cameos on the TV show "How I Met Your Mother". So we're supposed to give Britney a big pat on the back for, what, remembering the few fucking lines that were written for her? It's not like she went through some strenuous auditioning process – she landed a cameo BECAUSE she's Britney Spears. Hell, how many GREAT fucking performances have been done while the actor was either stoned or completely drunk? Or how many great musical performances have been done the same way?
For fuck's sake, Keith Richards wrote the lick for "Satisfaction" (which, coincidently, was later butchered by Brit) while he was BLACKED OUT. This show biz thing ain't exactly rocket science people.
With that stability and momentum to build on, it appeared Spears' child-custody hearing had the potential for a positive outcome. Showing up was the first step.
Bravo Britney Spears, you're officially being complimented the same way people say nice things about retarded McDonalds employees. Congratulations.
The Sad World Of Amy Winehouse
Well, why the hell not bring this one back too? While Britney has been on her best behavior, Amy Winehouse has been trying the opposite direction. She was arrested earlier this week in London for drug possession. And that's not even the most shocking Amy Winehouse news this week. That honor would belong to a set of photos:
As close to rock bottom as Amy Winehouse has gotten (and that includes those insane and revolting "walking around the streets in her bra" pics from last year), I've never been able to say this, but I think I can now: I would not bang Amy Winehouse.
My God…she has no ass. Plus, the other pics show even more of…that area. Oh my God, I think I'm going to be sick.
After the initial shock wore off though, you have to wonder just what the fuck is going on here. What's going on with those bikini bottoms? How long has that bikini top been out of style? Who are she and the mayonnaise talking on the phone to?
I'm guessing she…rode that old bike to have a nasty picnic with a woman in a jacket and short skirt and a laptop?
At least we got Duffy and Leona Lewis out of this whole deal. Maybe they can keep it together a little longer.
They Chanted 500! 500!
This week's "American Idol" featured the four finalists performing songs from the recently released "500 Songs That Changed Rock & Roll", a list put together by the Rock Hall Of Fame. It's an interesting list, with an obvious bent towards including everyone inducted into the Hall thus far. You can check it out here.
I was thinking about doing a mulit-part look at all of these tracks (and I still might), but let's take a look just at the ones that the A.I. finalists selected.
Steely Dan – "Reelin' In The Years" – This was done by the whole group on A.I. The most I've ever liked Steely Dan was when I picked up the Me, Myself & Irene soundtrack, which features several covers of their songs. Marvelous 3 covered "Reelin' In The Years" on that CD, and it wasn't very good. There's a great original by Boston-based folkie Ellis Paul, though, called "The World Ain't Slowin' Down". Anyway, "Reelin' In The Years" was a #11 hit from Steely Dan's debut, Can't Buy A Thrill, back in 1973. Not my favorite Steely Dan track, but no less than Jimmy Page has called the guitar solo his all-time favorite. The band was inducted into the Rock Hall in 2001.
Ben E. King – "Stand By Me" - This classic was performed by finalist David Archuleta. Ben E. King, a great 60's soul singer, co-wrote this with the team of Leiber & Stoller and recorded the original and most famous version. "Stand By Me" reached #4 back in 1961, then went Top 10 again in 1986, coinciding with the release of the movie Stand By Me (which, coincidentally, was adapted from a novella by another King – Stephen King). One of the best songs of all time, just pure goodness. King is not a member of the Rock Hall, though he has been eligible for 22 years now.
Elvis Presley – "Love Me Tender" - Also performed by Archuleta. A classic by Elvis Presley from the beginning of his "movie years". "Love Me Tender" was written for the movie The Reno Brothers and released a month earlier. The day after Elvis Presley debuted the song on "The Ed Sullivan Show", RCA received a million orders for the album, making it a gold single before it was even released. "Love Me Tender" was so popular that the studio changed the title to the movie, making it Love Me Tender as well. Needless to say, the song hit #1 upon release in 1956. Elvis was inducted into the Rock Hall in 1986, its inaugural year.
Duran Duran – "Hungry Like The Wolf" - Performed by finalist David Cook. "Hungry Like The Wolf" was already a Top 5 hit in the UK when it was released in the US at the end of 1982. Thanks to a video that saw much airplay on the fledgling MTV network, "Hungry Like The Wolf" became Duran Duran's highest charting US hit to that point, reaching #3. Interesting tidbit: Burger King has persistently asked to use the song in ads for the last 25 years, but Duran Duran continues to refuse. Duran Duran are not members of the Rock Hall, though they have been eligible for the last five years.
The Who – "Baba O'Riley" - Also performed by Cook. One of my favorite Who tracks, and I don't really even like The Who. Even Pete Townshend, who wrote the track, has admitted he doesn't know what it's about. From 1971's Who's Next, "Baba O'Riley" failed to chart in the US. The Who were inducted into the Rock Hall in 1990.
Ike & Tina Turner – "Proud Mary" - Performed by finalist Syesha Mercado. Fuck everyone who credits this song to the Turners while failing to mention it was the first Top 10 hit for Creedence Clearwater Revival and written by John Fogerty. You know what, I'm not even going to cover this one.
Sam Cooke – "A Change Is Gonna Come" - Also performed by Mercado. "A Change Is Gonna Come" was a hit shortly after Sam Cooke's death in 1964, though it barely made it into the Top 40 (#35). The song garnered its true legacy from its close association with the Civil Rights Movement in the later 60's. Definitely worthy of being on the "most important songs of all time" list. Sam Cooke was inducted into the Rock Hall in 1986, its inaugural year.
The Wailers – "I Shot The Sheriff" - Performed by the eliminated Jason Castro, who has dreads, which I guess makes him Jamaican, even though he's really from Texas via Colombia. "I Shot The Sheriff" is from 1973's Burnin', the last to feature Peter Tosh and Bunny Wailer, and the last to be credited to "The Wailers" and not "Bob Marley & The Wailers". A tough, iconic song that somehow gained notoriety when the very white and the very un-menacing Eric Clapton (drug and alcohol problems notwithstanding) covered it in 1974 and took it to #1. Marley was inducted into the Rock Hall (without the Wailers) in 1994.
The Byrds – "Mr. Tambourine Man" - Also performed by Castro. A #1 single from 1965 for Bob Dylan, this is a classic "protest era" Dylan track, with a slow tempo and completely incomprehensible lyrics. As much as I love Dylan, I actually prefer The Byrds' version, which was a hit shortly after. With its jangly electric guitars, some call this track the beginning of folk rock. The Byrds were inducted into the Rock Hall in 1991.
Everything Else
R. Kelly's child pornography case is finally getting underway this week, six years after Kelly ALLEGEDLY had sex with and pissed on a 14 year old girl and video taped it. The prosecution is in for a doozy, as Kelly's alleged victim is prepared to deny that she is actually on the tape. Another woman, though, is prepared to testify that she had a threesome with Kelly and the same girl around the same time. Look for plenty of "that piss could have been digital" references in upcoming weeks.
Kanye West got pissed off and walked off stage during a show this week because his TV monitors weren't working properly. West laughed it off in a blog and then revealed he was working with T.I. on a new album. So now, West's tech crew doesn't have to worry about being yelled at by a diva he-bitch, but also being shot with a machine gun round.
Tina Turner is set to tour this fall. Ike Turner will continue to burn in hell for the foreseeable future.
Jessica Simpson is trying to get her body back in to "Daisy Duke" shape. A little site clean-up here: for all those who commented that Catherine Bach was sexier as Daisy Duke than Jessica, I give you exhibit A:
And exhibit B:
Uh, what was I talking about?
Nine Inch Nails continues to release free shit. People love that kind of thing.
Courtney Love checked herself into an LA hospital at 3 AM, complaining of chest and throat problems. They said she had strep throat and sent her home. Ya know, maybe this chick WASN'T the brains behind a Kurt Cobain murder conspiracy.
Metallica is headlining the KROQ Weenie Roast. BE CAREFUL JAMES!
A Jimi Hendrix sex tape is on the way. Well, we've already seen a plaster cast of his giant dong and he was feared for his raw sexual energy. The guy died of a drug overdose. Is a sex tape really so shocking? Now, if this is tied to the Marilyn Monroe sex tape, just call me the first in line.
An engaged and rumored-to-be pregnant Ashlee Simpson has vowed to "keep it together", unlike Britney and Lindsay. After saying that, she danced awkwardly off stage while lip-synching a Fall Out Boy song.
The Police are breaking up. Wait, is it 1984 again?
Britney Spears is looking to buy a $6 million mansion, after trashing the one she was renting for the last few years with wild parties and dog poop. Another sign of stability: she's looking to buy instead of rent!
And finally, Kid Rock and Lynyrd Skynyrd will be touring together this summer. Hell Yeah! By God!
The Complete Discography Of
Tom Petty (Part 2)
Last week, we started our look back at Tom Petty's career, getting up to 1987 and the pretty awful Let Me Up (I've Had Enough) record. Well, this week, we'll finish up, as Tom goes solo for the first time and scores some of his biggest hits ever. All albums listed are by Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, unless otherwise noted.
Each edition of "The Complete Discography", I take a look at the complete discography of a band, which albums are vital, which songs are highlights and so forth. Each album will be assigned a rating. (1: Skip It, 2: For Fans Only, 3: Hear It, 4: Buy It)
Full Moon Fever (SOLO) (1989) - Tom Petty's first solo album, this was a spawn of the "Traveling Wilburys" period, as TP graduated from Dylan's touring partner to that legendary collaboration. Petty worked with fellow Wilbury Jeff Lynne as producer on this and, in the process, recorded the biggest studio album of his career. Recorded entirely at home, when Petty took the completed album to MCA, they told him there wasn't a single. He sat on it, unchanged, for six months and took it back. The label loved it. My brother was actually the first of us to own this on CD. I believe I bought a Collin Raye CD that day. He was really cool at the time. Just such a great and joyful vibe, definitely one of the strongest albums in TP's canon.
Song highlights: "Free Fallin'", "I Won't Back Down", "A Face In The Crowd", "I'll Feel A Whole Lot Better"
Rating: 4
Into The Great Wide Open (1991) - This is Tom Petty trying to marry his Wilbury work with the Heartbreakers. He brought in Jeff Lynne to produce the entire band, but it rubbed them the wrong way. The result is a bit schizophrenic, but not to the point of detracting from the album. Some of the Heartbreakers' best rocking tracks are on this record, like "All Or Nothin'", "Out In The Cold" and "Makin' Some Noise". My friend Charlie gave me this CD. Thanks man.
Song Highlights: "Learning To Fly", "Into The Great Wide Open", "Out In The Cold"
Rating: 3
Wildflowers (SOLO) (1994) - Tom Petty broke away from MCA in the early 90's and once again began work on a solo album. Turmoil in the Heartbreakers (specifically between Tom and drummer Stan Lynch) was a major factor. Produced by Rick Rubin, this turned into Tom's masterwork, a delicate and stripped down album made during the dying days of Tom's marriage. Also the first to feature future Heartbreaker Steve Ferrone on drums. When I first heard "You Don't Know How It Feels" on the radio, I became a Tom Petty fan. I remember my brother buying the single and then recording the album from our uncle not long later. My favorite of all time.
Song Highlights: "You Don't Know How It Feels", "Crawling Back To You", "Honey Bee", "It's Good To Be King"
Rating: 4
Songs & Music From ‘She's The One' (1996) - Tom was contacted by director Edward Burns to compile a soundtrack album for his film She's The One. After thinking about it, Tom just decided to deliver him a new Petty album as his soundtrack. The Heartbreakers, who had worked heavily on tracks for Wildflowers when all was said and done, were re-assembled (minus Lynch, who left in 1993) and this rocked up set was put out. Tom has stated that several songs were written as a response to his first time hearing Nirvana. This was my first album to actually anticipate as a Tom Petty fan, and I can remember it being pushed back a couple times. I played it non-stop upon release though, and I can remember even recording "Walls" from the radio because I loved it so much. Interesting trivia: I've bought this on CD like four times.
Song Highlights: "Walls", "Grew Up Fast", "Hope You Never"
Rating: 3
Echo (1999) - Tom's darkest album, thanks to more interband problems and his pending divorce. I've always enjoyed Echo, though the choice of "Free Girl Now" as its lead single was horrible. Although, that track was the first to be made available digitally by a major artist. Tom offered it for free on MP3.com for a week, until Warner Bros. told him to take it down. His figuring: you don't really make any money on singles anyway. This is the band's last album with bassist Howie Epstein, who had grown completely unreliable due to drug abuse. He didn't even show up for the cover shoot. Sadly, he died a few years later.
Song Highlights: "Swingin'", "Room At The Top", "Counting On You"
Rating: 3
The Last DJ (2002) - This is Tom's rebellion against greed in the music industry. And boy does it suck. There are a few good songs here, but most are just completely missing the mark. A yucky time to be a Tom Petty fan when this one came out, though it is notable for seeing original bassist Ron Blair's return to the group, as well as Steve Ferrone and Scott Thurston (who had been touring with the band since 1991) promoted to full Heartbreakers.
Song Highlights: "Have Love Will Travel"
Rating: 1
Highway Companion (SOLO) (2006) - After a long hiatus from recording, Tom returned with Jeff Lynne and this solid solo set. Very mellow and subdued, its loosely based around the theme of driving. While its not a barn burner (thanks to the exclusion of The Heartbreakers), it is a great album of jangly mid-tempo rock.
Song Highlights: "Square One", "Flirting With Time", "Damaged By Love"
Rating: 3
NEW RELEASES FOR MAY 13, 2008
WHAT EVERYONE WILL BUY:
Death Cab For Cutie - Narrow Stairs - Kind of a weird week as there are no real provers putting out new albums. Hanging your hat on Jason Mraz is shaky ground and Duffy is still way bigger over there than over here. Death Cab at least has history on their side, as their last album was a Top 5 hit.
WHAT WILL BE NUMBER ONE:
As expected, Madonna topped the charts this week, but didn't manage to sell near as well as Mariah did her first week, moving around 260k. This week was CRAZY with new releases, as not only did Mudcrutch, The Roots and Lyfe Jennings post great numbers in the Top 10 (and Lyfe was the best of that bunch, grabbing #4), but so did Def Leppard (HUH?) and the returning Portishead. The Def Leppard album ain't half bad, actually, just check out my review. Close Def Leppard friend Tim McGraw also scored some Top 10 love, debuting with his double disc Greatest Hits, Vol. 1 & 2, a Wal*Mart exclusive repackaging. Hey, that's cheating!
This week looks to see a #1 debut by none other than NEIL FUCKING DIAMOND, who has followed the Johnny Cash career revival template by enlisting Rick Rubin and Tom Petty's Heartbreakers. If he covers Nine Inch Nails, I'd be making sure his life insurance is paid up. Another big group of debuts this week too, as Gavin DeGraw's long anticipated/delayed album, Clay Aiken's latest, Toby Keith's hits compilation and a concert album by the mighty Josh Groban look to make waves too.
WHAT YOU SHOULD BUY:
There's always something worth buying in the New Release section. Here are my picks:
Death Cab For Cutie - Narrow Stairs - "I Will Possess Your Heart" is a great lead single, and this band just keeps doing their thing while people groove on it. Chris Walla, though, has promised the new album will be polarizing…guess we'll see which side of the fence we fall on.
Duffy - Rockferry - If you've heard "Mercy", you know how good this girl is. She's like a clean version of Amy Winehouse. I'll be picking this up, for sure.
Old 97's - Blame It On Gravity - While their later output hasn't really wowed me, the Old 97's are still awesome when they're on. One of the few bands to still wave the alt-country banner and, really, one of the first alt-country bands that mattered anyway.
WHAT'S HOT ON THE DIAL?
Billboard has about a million charts, so each week I'm gonna round up the #1s from each format. That way, no matter WHAT station you flip to when not using your presets, you'll be aware of what you might hear. Newly crowned #1s are in bold:
CHART
SINGLE
WEEKS
POP
HOT 100
Leona Lewis – "Bleeding Love"
12
HOT 100 AIRPLAY
Lil Wayne feat. Static Major – "Lollipop"
7
POP 100
Leona Lewis – "Bleeding Love"
12
POP 100 AIRPLAY
Leona Lewis – "Bleeding Love"
11
HOT SINGLES SALES
Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake – "4 Minutes"
1
BUBBLING UNDER HOT 100 SINGLES
Alicia Keys – "Teenage Love Affair"
1
DIGITAL
HOT DIGITAL SONGS
Leona Lewis – "Bleeding Love"
11
HOT DIGITAL TRACKS
Leona Lewis – "Bleeding Love"
11
HOT RINGTONES
Grupo Montez de Durango – "Adios Amor Te Vas"
59
R&B/HIP HOP
HOT R&B/HIP HOP SONGS
Lil Wayne feat. Static Major - "Lollipop"
8
HOT R&B/HIP HOP AIRPLAY
Lil Wayne feat. Static Major - "Lollipop"
8
HOT ADULT R&B AIRPLAY
Keyshia Cole – "I Remember"
26
HOT RAP TRACKS
Lil Wayne feat. Static Major – "Lollipop"
7
RHYTHMIC TOP 40
Lil Wayne feat. Static Major – "Lollipop"
N/A
HOT R&B/HIP HOP SINGLES SALES
King B feat. D.S.K. – "Hey Shawty"
4
COUNTRY
HOT COUNTRY SONGS
James Otto – "Just Got Started Lovin' You"
29
ROCK
HOT MODERN ROCK TRACKS
Weezer – "Pork And Beans"
3
HOT MAINSTREAM ROCK TRACKS
Disturbed – "Inside The Fire"
6
ADULT CONTEMPORARY
HOT ADULT TOP 40 TRACKS
Daughtry – "Feels Like Tonight"
17
HOT ADULT CONTEMPORARY TRACKS
Colbie Caillat – "Bubbly"
40
CHRISTIAN
HOT CHRISTIAN SONGS
Needtobreathe – "Washed By The Water"
14
HOT CHRISTIAN ADULT CONTEMPORARY
Jeremy Camp – "Let It Fade"
19
DANCE
HOT DANCE CLUB PLAY
Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake – "4 Minutes"
4
HOT DANCE AIRPLAY
Leona Lewis – "Bleeding Love"
7
HOT DANCE SINGLES SALES
Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake – "4 Minutes"
1
INTERNATIONAL
HOT LATIN SONGS
Flex – "Te Quiero"
26
EUROPEAN HOT 100 SINGLES
Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake – "4 Minutes"
7
EURO DIGITAL SONGS
Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake – "4 Minutes"
7
CANADIAN HOT 100
Madonna feat. Justin Timberlake – "4 Minutes"
7
RECURRENTS
HOT 100 RECURRENT AIRPLAY
Alicia Keys – "Like You'll Never See Me Again"
2
HOT SINGLES RECURRENTS
Three Days Grace – "Never Too Late"
20
HOT R&B/HIP HOP RECURRENT AIRPLAY
Musiq Soulchild – "teachme"
2
HOT R&B/HIP HOP RECURRENTS
Musiq Soulchild – "teachme"
2
HOT COUNTRY RECURRENTS
Chris Cagle – "What Kinda Gone"
2
HOT ADULT CONTEMPORARY RECURRENTS
The Fray – "How To Save A Life"
24
MUSICAL PIECE OF THE WEEK
A fertile week for hot chick news, huh, with Britney's sanity, Jessica's "getting back in shape", Ashlee "keeping it together" and Amy Winehouse…ugh, let's just not mention her. But instead of mining that ground, I'm going to celebrate Mother's Day this week by handing out our Musical Piece Of The Week to the mother of Coldplay's Chris Martin's child and the star of the hit movie Iron Man (no relation), to the lovely and classy Gwyneth Paltrow.
THE END
Hope you all had fun. Be sure to drop me a line on what you liked, didn't, etc.
