Ask 411 Music 06.19.08 Guitar Mania Explodes

Posted by Blake Lauderback on 06.19.2008

Back at last! Join us as we take a look at Darth Yoko, another flawed Rolling Stone list, this one about "Guitar Songs," and deep thoughts with Queens of the Stone Age. Plus, a history lesson about the greatest players to wield a Fender Strat!

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Good lord, it is good to at last be back. A million apologies for my lack of posting in the last few weeks, but the last two weeks have been an absolute beating all around. I am not even sure where to begin describing the recent difficulties we have had to deal with.

We managed to make the move to Tennessee… but it took what seemed like three eternities just to drive here. In case anyone was planning on moving multiple states away with two small children in one car and a half sedated cat and everything you own in a U-Haul anytime soon, go ahead and ditch those plans… it is not worth the torture. I kept checking the U-Haul for a gas leak because I am pretty sure I had to stop for guess about every half a mile. Turns out that the only leak was in my wallet, as all my money ran out of it and into my freaking gas tank.

Add in the fact that I left a company I had been with for forever (who subsequently decided to "forget" to pay me.), started fresh with another company (while starting a training regiment that will last approximately nine weeks.), battled with a cable/internet company to come hook up my crap, and had cell phones fall apart before my very eyes, and it has been an interesting few weeks.

Things are starting to balance out a little bit now I suppose. I am enjoying the new job despite the long hours, and our new home is starting to approach livable, as the boxes are beginning to thin out and we are starting to find places for everything.

Before we dive into new material, let's do a little review from last week's last time's edition…

- As we wrapped up our look at Peter Frampton, many of his fans came out of the woodwork to lend their support to the Frampton '08 Campaign

- Not too many complaints on the list of Top 7 Summer Songs, though there were a few good suggestions

- Same goes for the list of cover songs, no one threatened to kill me for not listing their favorite, but a few of you passed on some excellent additions to the list.

- The world seems to be divided into two groups… people that seem to have a massive crush on Bono, and those that seem to harbor so much resentment for the man that I would honestly recommend some kind of counseling.

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Now, as promised, we are going to profile one of the most important acts in the history of not only rock and roll music, but in music in general. Their influence has been felt in every genre and every sub sect of the music world in the last twenty-five years.

These guys have collaborated with everyone from Ozzy Osbourne and Alice Cooper to Weezer and have looked like the true rock stars they are in the process, and there is no telling what kind of desperate state the industry would be in without their influence.

We are of course talking about… The Electric Mayhem of The Muppets.

Let's break this down by member, shall we?

Name: Dr. Teeth
Instrument/Role: Band Leader/Tickling the Ivories
Closest Real Life Counterpart: Many assume that his namesake is a famous New Orleans jazz pianist by the name of Dr, John, though his more rockin' style and outlandish garb seems more like Elton John.



Name: Animal
Instrument/Role: Beat Drum!
Closest Real Life Counterpart: While it is not hinted to in his name, the most obvious comparison is to Keith Moon of The Who. The two do share a bit of the same style, mannerisms, and, well… lunacy.



Name: Sgt. Floyd Pepper
Instrument/Role: Driving the bass, man. And vocals too, man.
Closest Real Life Counterpart: To me, this is the most blatant reference in the band. Oh where to begin? He is Sgt. Pepper, while wearing the spitting image of the uniform worn by The Beatles on their legendary album cover… and his name is Floyd… and he is pink. So… we are going to call this little bass playing burn out a combination of Paul McCartney and Roger Waters.



Name: Zoot
Instrument/Role: Huh? (Saxophone)
Closest Real Life Counterpart: It would appear that his name is derived from the old jazzman named Zoot Simmons. There are also a few similarities between this easily sidetracked Muppet and the likes of other jazz greats like Miles Davis and Chuck Mangione



Name: Janice
Instrument/Role: Like, playing the guitar and stuff.
Closest Real Life Counterpart: In name alone one would assume that the lone female in the band was an homage to Janis Joplin, but her hippie nature has led to comparisons to people like Grace Slick of Jefferson Airplane and her strumming skills have caused some comparisons to Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart.



Name: Rowlf
Instrument/Role: The Piano Man… err… Dog
Closest Real Life Counterpart: I personally see a lot of Billy Joel in dear old loveable Rowlf, and maybe a touch of Randy Newman. Either way, Rowlf was one of the only members of the band to really find a niche with the "A Team" of Muppets, and according to some Muppet Historians, should not be considered a full time member of The Electric Mayhem



The real talent here is that of the amazing "Muppeteers" of the Jim Henson Workshop that have spent the last three decades or so bringing these brilliant characters to life for the enjoyment of adults and kids alike. If you have not taken a look back at the old school Muppet movies or any of the seasons of "The Muppet Show" on DVD, I cannot recommend them strongly enough. You may be surprised at just how much you laugh and enjoy yourself.

Class is in Session

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"When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide where I stop and I turn and I go for a ride, Till I get to the bottom and I see you again.

Do you, don't you want me to love you? / I'm coming down fast but I'm miles above you. / Tell me tell me tell me come on tell me the answer. / You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer.

Helter skelter helter skelter Helter skelter." – Helter Skelter

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Q: First off, are you only posting every other week now?

Okay, on to the other questions.

Stone Temple Pilots. Considered by many to be a legendary band. Despite clearly cashing in on the grunge movement and not really being that good of a band, but were successful regardless. Basically what I'm asking is, do you think that hugely successful shit bands such as Nickelback and Linkin Park will be held in such high regard ten years from now?

Also I need you to interpret some songs for me. Listen to Songs For the Deaf by Queens of the Stone Age. Tell me what any of those song mean and I'd appreciate it.

Let me know,
- Steveo ie The Dude

A: I know Steveo, I have missed you too buddy. Assuming that I don't have to move cross-country again next week (which has less than a 0% chance of happening) I should be back on schedule. I hope to even get back to organizing the Music Zone Top 5 this week.

You and I have a slight difference in opinion here. I do think that Stone Temple Pilots is a worthwhile band, but I will gladly admit that they are one of the most overplayed acts from the grunge era. I think it is a shame that Scott Weiland's addiction issues seem to steal the spotlight from the abilities of his other band mates.

However, in answer to your question, I pray each and every morning for the musical tastes of the general public. I believe that the bands you mentioned and many of their craptastic contemporaries will follow a similar path as many of the massively popular bands of the 1980's.

Meaning, in twenty years, everyone will still know the bands and the songs, but no one will want to publicly admit that they were obsessive fans unless someone else fesses up to it first. I am sure that they will still have fans out there, but I hope that the masses will wake up and go, "What the hell have we been listening to?!?"

If I were going to make a direct comparison to some bands of that era, I would have to say Journey and The Cars. By now, most of the world realizes just how embarrassingly cheesy these two acts were, and that they already sound ten times as dated as some of the acts that debuted decades before them.

As a side note, if moved cross-country in a U-Haul with no CD player and my iPod was already buried deep down in a box, so I spent half of my time searching for music to keep me awake. If I had to hear one more freaking song by The Cars I was going to seriously consider deviating off of the path, hunting down Ric Ocasek, and punching him in the face.



As far as your queries about the song meanings of songs off of Queen's of the Stone Age's Songs for the Deaf, I will knock out a few for you.

"Go With The Flow" - So, I found two different theories about the meaning of this song. The first is the most obvious. On the surface it seems to be about a split between two lovers with one basically saying that the relationship never really mattered, while the other disagrees, but it forced to basically move on anyway… hence the "go with the flow."

The other theory I found has the central meaning being based on a somewhat elaborate metaphor for sex. (I know, I know, who can imagine a rock song about that?) With lines such as "with something sweet to throw away" representing virginity and "Little soldiers in a row" alluding to sperm, the theory has some legs, especially when pared with the video for the song.

"No One Knows" - I tend to be of the mindset that the song centers on wasted time/life/opportunities and possibly a commentary on the wasted life of an addict. I did see where some people seem to think that it is about the sad state of the music industry. While I agree that the industry isn't what it once was, I don't know that I buy into that line of thought.

"Hangin' Tree" - Cheerful song, eh? You could make a case that the song is about happy times, hanging out with your girl on the old tire swing in the summer, assuming that you take the lyrics of the chorus at face value and without any sort of connotation. However, it is far more likely that it is a "Romeo and Juliet" type situation where two lovers found each other in death… in this case… a hanging.

"God is in the Radio" - Once again, it depends on how deeply you look into his words. On the surface it could be taken to be a shot at religious broadcasting, particularly on the radio. For once though, I will side with the deeper thought, which is that "god" is pop culture and that the general public eats up whatever the media commands them to.



Q: So, I know how you feel about rock music lists… especially those by Rolling Stone. Did you happen to catch the recent edition that featured the list of the Top 100 Guitar Songs? If so, what did you think? I personally thought it was better than most of their lists, but that isn't saying a hell of a lot since must of the other lists are HORRIBLE. Love to get your thoughts. Good luck with the move! – Robert W.

A: Oh how you know me. You are correct, this list did get my blood boiling a bit, but not nearly on the volcanic level that some of their previous efforts have. In order to keep from ranting until hell freezes over, I will keep it simple by organizing my praise and rage into five easy-to-follow lists…

Too High:
- "You Really Got Me" by The Kinks (#4)
- "Brown Sugar" by The Rolling Stones (#5)
- "Eruption" by Van Halen (#6)
- "Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen (#14)
- "Cowgirl in the Sand" by Neil Young and Crazy Horse (#16)
- "Where the Streets Have No Name" by U2 (#28)

Too Low:
- "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin (#8)
- "Back in Black" by AC/DC (#29)
- "Master of Puppets" by Metallica (#33)
- "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith (#34)
- "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne (#51)
- "Little Wing" by Stevie Ray Vaughn (#54)
- "Sweet Child ‘O Mine" by Guns and Roses (#63)
- "Freebird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd (#64)
- "Under The Bridge" by Red Hot Chili Peppers (#98)

Where the hell is…
- "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath
- "Rock This Town" by The Stray Cats
- "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd
- "Enter Sandman" by Metallica
- "Cowboys from Hell" by Pantera
- "Bark at the Moon" by Ozzy Osbourne
- "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple
- "More Than a Feeling" by Boston
- "YYZ" by Rush
- "L.A. Woman" by The Doors
- "Hotel California" by The Eagles

Who paid to have this song on there?
- "Blitzkrieg Bop" by The Ramones (#18)
- "Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes (#21)
- "Holidays in the Sun" by The Sex Pistols (#43)
- "Debaser" by The Pixies (#50)
- "Take it or Leave It" by The Strokes (#71)
- "Beat It" by Michael Jackson (#81)

Just Right
- "Johnny B. Goode" by Chuck Berry (#1)
- "Purple Haze" by Jimi Hendrix (#2)
- "Crossroads" by Cream (#3)
- "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" by The Beatles (#7)
- "Statesboro Blues" by The Allman Brothers Band (#9)
- "Layla" by Derek and the Dominos (#13)

Wow… the more I think, the more I disagree with the list. It makes it mighty tempting to try and create a "Top 100 Guitar Songs" list myself… but then again, I am sure I would get just as much hate mail as "Rolling Stone" did, and 411 doesn't pay for me to have a secretary or a body guard.

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This week's list…(Insert mental drum roll here)

The Top 7 Guitarist That Played Fender Strats

Disclaimer: This week's top seven list in designed to support the 411 Music Zone's ongoing contest for a Fender Stratocaster. This is just a small sampling of the amazing pickers and strummers to sport this legendary guitar. So, to all of you participating in the contest, the best of luck to you, and if you win, I hope you can make it sound half as sweet as the guys on this list.

7. Jeff Beck – Jeff is a truly underrated guitarist, as well as a pioneer of the Strat vibrato system. Beck was primarily a Les Paul player until about 1975 when he converted to the Fender. He was once quoted as saying "With a Les Paul you just wind up sounding like someone else. With the Strat I finally sound like me." Jeff also has a signature Stratocaster of his very own.

6. Buddy Guy – Even the novice blues fan can pick out Buddy's polka-dotted Fender from a mile away. Mr. Guy, a true legend in blues, was credited as a primary influence by both Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughn. Fender has released several different variations of Guy's iconic axe since the 1990's.

5. David Gilmour – Dark Side of the Moon, The Wall, and Wish You Were Here all feature Gilmour on his black Strat. David is also the owner of the Fender Stratocaster, serial number #0001. One would assume that such a number would mean that it was the first one ever produced, but Fender doesn't number in order… cause that makes sense. One of David's guitar techs, Phil Taylor, actually wrote a book entitled Pink Floyd, The Black Strat – A History of David Gilmour's Black Stratocaster.

4. Dick Dale – A true pioneer of surf-rock in the 1950's, Dale was one of the first artists to be seen with a Fender Stratocaster in his hands. Dick Dale, along with the entire genre of surf-rock, is vastly underrated because their style of music has faded away and become dated, but that doesn't mean that their talent has diminished at all. And besides, fans of Guitar Hero can tell you just how much of a butt-kicker "Misirilou" is in a video game, much less on a beautiful Strat.

3. Eric Clapton – Clapton saw the light and came to the right side in 1970 when he purchased his first Fender, which he named "Brownie." "Brownie" is responsible for the guitar sound on "Layla," which would go on to be one of his many signature licks over the years. Shortly there after, he created his own Frankenstein's monster by combining the parts of three different Fender Strats to create "Blackie," which would remain his primary guitar until 1985. In 2004, Blackie was sold for just under $1,000,000 at a charity auction. Fender's first signature series Stratocaster was the Eric Clapton edition.

2. Buddy Holly – While Holly may not be the best technical player on the list, he brought the Fender Stratocaster into the spotlight for the American musician to see. While the Strat debuted in 1954, it didn't explode out onto the world until Buddy Holly played one on "The Ed Sullivan Show." The statue of Buddy in his native home of Lubbock, Texas features him playing his Strat, and his gravestone actually has one engraved upon it. Now THAT is dedication to an instrument.

1. Jimi Hendrix – As you may know, Hendrix played a right handed guitar that was strung upside down instead of going to a left handed guitar to suit him better. He preferred the knob placement on the righty. The Strat was the go-to guitar in Hendrix' arsenal, and he took the popularity that Buddy Holly brought to it and magnified it ten fold. Jimi inspired millions of future guitar players, and what better way to emulate your hero than to strum the same type of guitar?

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Forgotten Classic I know I am a little late in paying my respects to this legend, but I have to take this opportunity to add my voice to the millions of people that have been mourning the loss of one of the first and one of the best in rock and roll, Bo Diddley. So, this week we'll be looking at his classic 1957 debut, Bo Diddley. It was on this album that one of the most essential guitar rhythms originated, as the "Diddley Beat" became part of the backbone of rock and roll. Bo, along with his contemporaries, shaped the genre for generations to come, and his loss will most certainly be felt forever. Pay tribute to this innovator by popping in this self titled album and checking out some of its legendary tracks like "Bo Diddley," "I'm a Man," "Before You Accuse Me," and "Who Do You Love?"

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Q: So, are you one of the many that believes that Yoko Ono is to blame for the fall of the Beatles? I am still on the fence myself, but I noticed your Yoko=Satan comments last week and thought I should ask the Beatle-master. One way or another, why do you think it is that she is thought of that way? Did she do it on purpose? – Loren E.

A: Do I believe that Yoko is the only reason that the band dissolved? No, of course not, but in order to join the Beatles' fan club you are required to prove your hatred for the dreaded Darth Yoko. I will save the elaborate story about the end of the world's greatest band for another day, but in summary, the real riff came between John Lennon and Paul McCartney, and had far more to do with creative differences than it did with the crazy nut job "artist" that John was dating.

I cannot ever claim that Yoko was completely innocent in the situation, but Lennon was not some week little shell of a man. He was more than capable of making his own decisions, and he obviously felt deeply connected to her on some level, because she was definitely not just there for eye candy.

One week soon we will dive further into the riff that formed between the four musical geniuses that comprised the band, and while I most assuredly take a few pot shots at Yoko, I will go into much more detail about the falling out of The Beatles.



Q: So here we go again with another super group. I hear that half of Van Haggar is teaming up with Chad Smith from RHCP. What do you think will come of it all? Will this band be amazing or will they fall apart at the seams after putting out some mediocre work like Velvet Revolver and Audioslave?

A: The name of the newest powerhouse on the block is Chickenfoot and features Sammy Haggar on vocals, Van Halen's Michael Anthony on bass, the Red Hot Chili Pepper's Chad Smith on drums, and guitar legend Joe Satriani on guitar.

The band lineup sound very solid, though I am not sure how all of those different styled will sound together, but I suppose that is the idea of a collaboration. I honestly think that Haggar is the weakest link in the band as I am not always a huge fan of his vocals.

What does upset me is that Sammy has already been quoted as comparing the band to Led Zeppelin, which is pretty damn preposterous considering they have yet to record a note. Talk about putting the cart before the horse!

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This week's drop of band name knowledge is…

Chicago - Now, I know that this doesn't seem like a big stretch for a band name, as it is, after all, one of the largest cities in the world. However, too few people seem to be aware that the band actually started off as The Chicago Transit Authority. They had to drop the name when the REAL Chicago Transit Authority took legal action against the band. Thank god that the city of Chicago didn't take offense and sue!

See you all back here next week… and send me some freaking questions.

Class Dismissed.