411 Music Fact Or Fiction 07.02.08: Week 62
Posted by Dan Haggerty on 07.02.2008
Mitch Michaels and Dan Marsicano take the stage to watch Tim McGraw throw a fan out of the show, contemplate the horror that is a new Paris Hilton album, if Kayne or Bonarro was in the right, and if Cradle of Filth shirts really are indecent. All this and more, plus we ask you if you’ll be checking out the new Staind album!
It's Wednesday again, and you now what that means? Besides two more days of working for the weekend? That's right folks – Fact or Fiction. Last week we got some good answers to the reader's question, which we'll get into later, so we'll be doing it again!
This week sees the return of long time veterans. First, we have Dan Marsicano straight out of Monday's What In The Hell Happened To…; he's opposed by the music zones answer to Hugh Hefner, he's Quick N' Dirty, Mitch Michaels!
I'll pay for that, but it was worth it.
Lets skip the rest of the intro – You're here for the meat and potatoes, so let's get to it!
Round 1!
If the new album has a gatefold sleeve
This needs to be the picture…
1. The prospect of a new Paris Hilton album is proof positive that pop culture is bankrupt.
Dan Marsicano:FACT. I though you were going to say that the prospect of a new Paris Hilton was proof that there is no God. But I like the way you put it, Dan. Paris Hilton shouldn't be allowed near a microphone, EVER. The fact that anybody is excited for a new album from Hilton is sad to me. She doesn't have any talent, yet she is still around, readying her latest atrocity. When it sells 500,000 copies, and the apocalypse comes, with Satan riding on his black horse, and you ask me for help, you know what I will say? "Too bad, you should have listened to me in the first place." Pop culture has been bankrupt for years, and the ultimate proof was the jackass who approved the first Paris Hilton album.
Mitch Michaels:FICTION. In reality, clebrities with no musical talent have been releasing albums for decades. Just look at Bruce Willis, Cybill Shepherd, Joey Lawrence, Alyssa Milano, Kathy Lee Gifford, Tony Danza and all the way back further than William Shatner. It's a quick cash grab for the label, and in the celebrity's mind, a way for people to see another side of them. Is it stupid? Of course. But it's not like there's someone with a gun to your head making you buy this album. I remember Paris' first record scored decent reviews but had really low sales. I also can't remember ever hearing a single from that set on the radio. So is the fact that Paris is releasing a new album a sign of a bankrupt culture? No. But the fact that Paris is a celebrity at all could be.
Score :0 for 1
2. Kayne West was robbed at Bonnaroo and has every reason to be pissed.
Dan Marsicano:FICTION. Are you shitting me? What West did was go all diva on everybody and try to set up this elaborate light show for a festival show. A fucking festival show! Did you really think it was a good idea to set up this whole light show Kayne, when you were going on at 3 am? Most people had been there all day and were probably tired as hell from all the other bands. Yes, Pearl Jam did go an hour long, and Kayne was right in complaining about that, but West made it sound like somebody came into his house, took a shit on his oriental rug, and pissed on his dog. In a blog, Kayne wrote, "This Bonnaroo thing is the worst insult I've ever had in my life...This is the most offended I've ever been ... this is the maddest I ever will be." You shitting me Kayne? Your always mad, at everything and everybody. Jesus Christ, get over yourself. Kayne's getting mad because he couldn't do his little light show…what is he, 10? You should have got on that stage, put on a fucking amazing show, and had the people leaving satisfied, not stroke your own ego by putting up a huge, over-the-top set because "Stronger" isn't the same without it. You know you're a fucking terrible artist when you need a LIGHT SHOW to make yourself, and your music, look good.
Mitch Michaels:FICTION. The fact that Kanye's Bonnaroo show went off so late was no one's fault but his own. He bitched because he wasn't on the main stage and insisted that his entire elaborate stage show be hauled on with him. As Dan said, this is a FESTIVAL - things are scaled down to accomodate more acts in a smaller amount of time. Kanye has even proved that he was worried aboutt he set-up going up because he said that he'd been working with the Bonnaroo folks for months trying to figure out stage logistics. I like how Bonnaroo left Kanye twisting in the wind on this one. It isn't often that I choose the promoter's side over the artist, and like Dan says, if you can't appreciate "Stronger" without proper lighting, how good can it be?
Score :1 for 2
3. You'll be checking out the new Staind album.
Dan Marsicano:FICTION. Staind has never really been my cup of tea. They have some decent singles, but everything sounds the same to me. If I wanted to listen to depressing music, I would crank up some My Dying Bride or Anathema. I don't need Aaron Lewis telling me for the 20th time how much his life sucks and how he "fucked" up again.
Mitch Michaels:FACT. But only because I'll have no choice but to check out the new Staind album. Every song will be a big hit, get overplayed on Rock radio and then get tagged on to a thousand movie trailers and TV show ads. I don't hate Staind, but it's just their way of doing business. Somewhere, someone has insisted that Staind is as big as Nickleback, even if album sales suggest otherwise. Deep down, I even like Staind's music. And since they've been absent from the radio for so long, I actually picked up their hits compilation earlier this year. Then I realized that I could hear those songs ANY TIME on the radio. At that point, I gave complete control of my finances to my wife because I'm obviously too stupid to spend money.
Intermission Score :1 for 3
FACT OR FICTION OPEN CHALLENGE
Here is your chance to take full advantage of the comment section! Go below to the comments section, and respond to question Number 3. Will you be checking out the new Staind album.
Don't forget to start your answer with either a "Fact" or "Fiction" before explaining why. I'll tally the votes for next week, and might even print the good/funny answers.
SWITCH!
And We're Off For Round 2!
4. If DMX had a comment section attached to his life, it would be filled with "EPIC FAIL".
Mitch Michaels:FICTION. That would assume that DMX's life would be observed by 411 commenters. We all know they're too busy debating the merits of Britney Spears crotch shots. Seriously though, I try to understand DMX, but then I always think back to when he was arrested for REFUSING TO PUT ON HIS SEAT BELT on a plane. With shit like that, you think the guy just LIKES getting into trouble. Just be thankful DMX turned to rap or he may be robbing your house right now. Shit, he still might.
Dan Marsicano:FICTION. Sure, DMX has gotten into a lot of legal trouble, but his rap career has been successful enough to give him something to live for. If DMX never became a rapper, his life would have been an EPIC FAIL by the time he was 30. Don't forget his movie career; who could forget his Oscar-worthy performance in "Exit Wounds?" Compared to Steven Seagal, he's like a modern day Al Pacino.
Mitch Michaels:FACT. I, too, am all for freedom of expression, but there's also public indecency. As smutty as I can be, no one masturbating belongs on a T-shirt in public. Not even Miley Cyrus, much less a nun. If I had kids, I really wouldn't want them to be randomly exposed to the sight of that, or the word "cunt". I can understand why Cradle of Filth would produce an eye-catching T-shirt like this, and if you're wearing it to a Cradle of Filth show I'm sure it wouldn't bother anyone. But have some fucking sense, dumbass!
Dan Marsicano:FACT. Yeah, that kid did get what was coming to him. He probably woke up the morning of his arrest, pulled out the shirt, and thought he would be a rebel and "anti-establishment" by wearing it. Imagine the breakfast conversation of the day in that kid's house. Mitch is 100% correct though; that type of shirt should be worn at Cradle of Filth's concerts and nowhere else. I know I don't want my kid to see a nun masturbating or "cunt" right in his face. Yeah, I know, that sounded nasty and wrong, but you get my point.
Score :3 for 5
6. Tim McGraw should be applauded for taking care of that fan...
Mitch Michaels:FACT. This is the coolest thing I've seen in a while. Tim McGraw has a better view of what's going on in the audience than anyone. He's also a longtime professional when it comes to performing. So whatever he seen this fat fuck doing to one of his audience members had to have REALLY angered him to cause such a violent reaction. I love how McGraw hauls him up onto the stage and then goes right after him with his fist cocked. This guy is one of the reasons NOT to go to concerts, so seeing Tim McGraw put the kibosh on his sloppy antics just shows that he really cares about his fans, how much they paid to see him, and how he doesn't want some dumbass to ruin their good time.
Dan Marsicano:FACT. I hate country, with a passion. However, I do have to give Tim McGraw credit for showing fans that he is dedicated to their safety and well-being. There is nothing worse than a man getting into a confrontation with a female, no matter the situation, and McGraw was right to take the fat fuck and throw him out. If the guy caused even further problems, I believed that McGraw really would have knocked him the hell out. People go to live shows to enjoy themselves, and like Mitch said, to have a good time. The last thing anybody wants to see is a sloppy, pork-bellied son of a bitch ruining a great concert.
Final Score :4 for 6
Results From Last Weeks Readers Fact or Fiction Comments!
The Question: The Keytar is a sad example of 80's pop-excess and you wouldn't be caught dead using one.
Fact: 4
Fiction: 2
Evidently, I'm in the minority in my hatred for the Keytar. Add Ben and Dan's answers with mine and that is 6 to 3.
Good quotes:
The Keytar is the greatest combination of two musical insterments since Banjo-clarinet, and it does need to be brought back as soon as possible. If I had one I'd start a band just to feature it. By the way, nothing is better than a Flight of the Conchords reference.
Posted By: Dr.The James
Keytar = cool and retro taken in context of time it came out. Might not mean shit now, but it was a big deal (and prop) back in the day and several well known players utilized one including heavyweights such as Wakeman, Emerson, etc.
Posted By: songremainsinsane
FICTION. As a child of the eighties, my sister always had a crush on the keyboard player of whatever band was "hot" ... mostly that would be David Bryan from Bon Jovi. All the "keytar" was was an attempt at compensation for not being able to play the ACTUAL guitar. It's like old balding guys buying Porsches to compensate for having ... uh, for not being able to play the guitar.
Posted By: massive
Alright, enough fun for one week! Hit the comment section folks. It's there for YOU to participate. so tell the world what you think! I'm out of here - We'll see you Friday in the The Mosh Pit and we'll see you back here is seven.
maybe he just woke up and put a shirt without any real thought to the outcome of wearing it. and as it applies to cunt I'll refer you to the dead...
Georege Carlin"...Here's two people talking about something called "The Vagina Monologues." So, there's an implicit agreement that it's okay to talk about, it's okay to use the word "vagina" and refer to the female organ. So that's given, and that's okay, and everybody agrees that yes, we will allow that, we can talk about the female organ - unless we use a different word for it! If we use the word "cunt" we can't do that! "But it's the same piece of the body" "Yeah, yeah I know, but we don't like the sound of that word 'cunt' - some women don't like that." So there we are down the whirlpool into the drain. It's just so much hypocrisy, and insecurity - people don't trust themselves and others to be able to handle things in a mature way and to be able to look at real life as it is. That word 'cunt' didn't come from the devil it came from people - it's part of the human language - so's 'fuck' and 'cocksucker' and 'motherfucker' and 'shit' - and the fact that they bother some people on a superstitious level is really kind of too bad. It's kind of unfortunate. You know, I understand the reason for taboos, and all that stuff. But I think, it would be really nice if this species would grow up one of these fucking days..."
Posted By: NEObraska (Guest) on July 02, 2008 at 12:45 AM
Well, considering that all charges regarding the CoF shirts were for blasphemy or anti-religious rhetoric, then I cannot see how you can say "fact." It's sad that we live in a fucking world where you can't say ANYTHING without somebody (be it activist groups or the government itself) coming along to smack you on the nose and say "no, bad monkey." Like the above comment says while quoting Carlin (RIP), "it would be really nice if this species would grow up."
That said...CoF sucks. If you're going to get in trouble over wearing an Anti-Christian shirt, at least get either Marduk's "Fist Fucking God's Planet" or "Christ Raping Black Metal" shirts.
Q3: Staind
FICTION. They're a horrible band and they always will be a horrible band. Aaron Lewis has the charisma of piece of dog defecation, and if it weren't for the initial praise of them by Fred Durst when Durst was actually famous and somewhat regarded as anything other than a complete hack, then they'd still be doing nothing besides touring the local (Massachusetts) club scene. Where's the appreciation for Skulltoboggan, who have been doing gritty White Zombie-esque metal for the last decade? It's not there, because they're actually good, whereas Staind is shitty enough to be pushed on a mass corporate level to all of the 13-year-old's and the people who were 13 when they first heard Staind.
Posted By: AndrewCrow (Guest) on July 02, 2008 at 08:25 AM
Andrew Crow, get your fucking facts straight. He was arrested for indecency. You can't be arrested for blasphemy in fucking Australia or any other free country.
Posted By: Mitch Michaels (Registered) on July 02, 2008 at 08:43 AM
I think it was the Nun MASTERBATING that got the dude in trouble. Yeah 'Jesus is a cunt' would also spark controversy in a public area but to have a naked woman on a shirt masterbating is a form of public indecency. I think you're missing the point on that. NEObraska had a good point with the quote from Carlin but that doesn't change the image on the shirt. Its just not meant for the public.
On a side note, what Tim McGraw did was cool and garnered some respect from me.
And once again I am not a fan of Kanye other then his music because sometimes it gets ridiculous. He needs to chill sometimes because there's no reason to be angry every time he has a comment
Posted By: Colin (Guest) on July 02, 2008 at 09:00 AM
Hail Satan!
\m/
Posted By: Ben Czajkowski (Registered) on July 02, 2008 at 09:13 AM
dude there is nothing wrong with staind. they have put out some stuff that was a bit radio friendly but come on, aaron lewis has one of the most powerful voices (go on youtube and find something of theirs live) and the band itself had a lot of talent. like andrew crow up their is just hating on the band because its "cool" to hate on the band
Posted By: President Nixon (Guest) on July 02, 2008 at 11:46 AM
1)That Cradle of Filth shirt is just so stupid. These guys are probably idiots who have no real opinion on religon at all, they just put it on a shirt to be "shocking". And then idiot kids buy it because they are the same way.
2) When was the last time Staind had any hits?? I remember their album with "It's Been a While" had a few hits, but, everything else has pretty much bombed with mainstream radio, hasn't it?
3) Kanye West is a tool. Even is Pearl Jam didn't play late, wasn't he supposed to go on at 2:30? I mean, festival or not, how many people are going to watch the man perform for an hour that late? What a douche.
Posted By: Marc (Guest) on July 02, 2008 at 12:41 PM
Answer to Q3 - I would imagine I've heard better things coming out of the employee bathroom after our annual chili-making competition here at work. So, NO. Aaron Lewis = wannabe Layne Staley (or sub your fave grunge singer) - not that there is anything wrong with that, I just don't see/hear anything groundbreaking. Same old, same old.
Posted By: songremainsinsane (Guest) on July 02, 2008 at 12:59 PM
Forgot to mention...Kanye needs to take some fuckin responsibility sometimes and admit he was wrong
Posted By: Colin (Guest) on July 02, 2008 at 01:09 PM
FICTION. Despite probably being somewhere near their demographic, I'm just not a fan of that whole "religious rock masquerading as mainstream rock" deal. Doesn't suit me ... wait, what? Staind ISN'T a religious rock band? Then who the heck am I thinking of? (And, I guess Staind really hasn't made much of an impact on me if I can't figure out who the heck they are.)
Posted By: massive (Guest) on July 02, 2008 at 01:23 PM
I think Kanye deserves some defense here. He was clearly exaggerating when he said it was the "worst insult ever", but I think he was just trying to show that it really hurt him. Here's a guy who cares deeply about his performance, something that people complain about all the time. How many shows have you been to where you complain about the lack of energy/enthusiasm from the performer(s)? A guy finally shows dedication to his craft, and he's an egomaniac, etc.
I don't deny that Kanye has his bad moments, but you have to respect his work ethic. And ultimately, this IS Bonnaroo's fault, because if Bonnaroo approaches Kanye and asks him to perform, and he says "I want MY stage show or I won't perform", and Bonnaroo agrees, that makes them liable. I don't think Kanye was thinking to himself, "damn, I wonder how badly I can screw over these concert organizers and the fans by bringing my stage show". The stage show is great(how many of you have actually SEEN IT, btw?) and it does make the show better. If Kanye tells Bonnaroo he needs that show, and they agree to accommodate him, then they should. It's a contract. End of story.
Posted By: JCullen (Guest) on July 02, 2008 at 05:05 PM
I cosign JCullen's thoughts, wholeheartedly. Couldn't have stated it better.
Posted By: Mitch (Guest) on July 02, 2008 at 08:47 PM
Q3:
I am a Staind fan so I'm obviously a bit biased on this decision, but yes. I have listened to Staind for about 6 years now and can remember their albums "Tormented" and "Dysfunction" and how heavy rocking and slushy the music was, as well as Aaron Lewis doing his occasional screaming, which no longer shows up anymore. Now the thing I hate is how Atlantic Records/The band always releases the One-Hit Wonder with them so the albums sell, but deep down I think it's because people love and appreciate the music, whether people like them or not. This new album even thrills me a little, I didn't want another heavy album despite the fact that we are due for that sometime in the near future, but a truly musical album that displays the talents of all four band members. I'm not too sure how the album sounds with just one song, but "Believe" is certainly better than "It's Been Awhile". So hopefully I will not be disappointed.
Posted By: Josh (Guest) on July 03, 2008 at 06:45 AM
Question 3: Fiction
Staind to me, is like Linkin Park. I really dug their first couple of albums, but after that they start to be exposed for a one trick pony, with each passing album sounding so similar to the one before it.
I will give it a listen, because I am still a quasi-fan of the group, but I will not buy before hearing it.
Posted By: Toddo (Guest) on July 03, 2008 at 12:59 PM
