411 Music Fact Or Fiction 07.16.08: Week 63

Posted by Dan Haggerty on 07.16.2008

Does Nickleback’s deal with Live Nation prove how great they are? Is Watershed the metal album of the year? How whipped is Nick Cannon? Will a new Jimi Hendrix album go #1? Are ISPs greedy conspirators to downloading? All this, plus you get to vote what you think of a hip-hop remix of Johnny Cash's classic songs!

It's the middle of the weeks again, and the music zone is here to get you through the mid-week hump with another tantalizing and controversial edition of Fact or Fiction. Ben Czajkowski is again in the house, proving why he is All You Can't Live without. He's supported and retorted by none other than zone alumni Jeff Modzelewski. It's the battle of the guys whose last names I can't pronounce, and it starts…

NOW!


Round 1!

Have they achieved greatness?

1. Nickelback's new deal with Live Nation proves they're on par with the other great acts that label has signed.

Ben Czajkowski Fiction: I think I am justified when I say that the rich just keep getting richer with shit like this. No one can explain to me, with a straight look on their face, how Nickelback is a great act. Yet, for some godforsaken reason All The Right Reasons has managed to sell millions of copies worldwide. I have never impressed with any NB album. I tried to be, in high school. Not since then has anyone said to me, you know, I really feel like listening to Nickelback today. Let me fire up Silver Side Up or sing along to "Photograph." In the end, though, Nickelback, as of writing this, owes Roadrunner Records two more albums. That sweet, $70M deal is at least another 4 years and a couple sobriety checks away. By then, with any luck, Chad Kroeger will have drunkenly driven into an old folks home, killing many, many people. Hell, I'll settle for them burning out. I do not, nor will I ever think, that Nickelback is on the same level as Madonna and Jay-Z. Shakira…well, I don't know about her. Can she still shake it?

Jeff Modzelewski Fiction: Of course not. Although I think that Live Nation has overpaid for just about every artist that they've signed. Nickleback, as I've said before, is wanna-be hard rock for kids who want to "rebel" but don't actually want to get in trouble, or for adults who want to be in the "cool" crowd. Madonna is a legend (though she's definitely past her prime), Jay-Z is at the top of the hip-hop game, and Shakira is freakin' hot. Nickleback is overrated, and I'm really hoping that they go away very soon.

Score : 1 for 1


2. Nick Cannon in the most whipped man in America .

Ben Czajkowski Fiction: If by "whipped" you mean "banging one of the most beautiful and talented women in the history of people walking on two legs". Loving and caring for Mariah Carey cannot and should not be an easy job. A woman like her needs attention and a strong man; Mariah's been around long enough to know that. Yes, she's a bit of a diva, but I'm sure Cannon knew that going into the marriage. It's not like he was in a coma and woke up married (although, I think some guys are). I don't know what Cannon has done to garnish being called whipped, but if it is wearing my wedding ring around, hell, I'd wear a ring on each finger, through each nipple and my penis for Mariah.

Jeff Modzelewski Fiction: Umm, I'll have what Mr. Cannon's having, thank you very much. She may be annoying, she may make my ears bleed, but she's hot and she's rich, and I can't blame Cannon for putting up with some shit in order to tap that gravy train. She may be a pain in the ass, but some things are worth the sacrifices.

Score : 2 for 2


3. The new Jimi Hendrix album will hit #1 on the Billboard charts.

Ben Czajkowski Fact: First off, I gotta say, where the fuck did they lose it?! Did all that LSD, Cocaine, and Mary Jane cause this album to just get up and wander into the back of a closet somewhere? Was it dry-walled and sealed off into a secret room? Did someone forget it in one dream and remember it in another? Secondly, I'll be surprised at the quality of this tape, since it's been sitting around for 30 fucking years, is anything above decent. I don't know how the masters differ from my Michael Jackson tapes, but if that's any different, those didn't last 10 years. Lastly, it definitely has the potential to be a #1 release. Then again, almost anything today does, with the state of the music industry. Any kid with a tin can, weak lyrics and the right spin on it can sell enough to beat out everyone else. Lil Wayne just did it. If dead men can win elections, I'm sure Jimi Hendrix can pull this one out of his skeleton ass.

Jeff Modzelewski Fiction: Sorry, but I just don't see a lost Hendrix album topping whatever teeny-bopper flavor of the week that The Disney Channel is throwing out there. Hendrix is a legend, but the people who buy music really won't care. The crowd that is into Hendrix wants to hear his old stuff, not something that's been stuck in a closet for the past few decades. Plus, who's going to be doing the promotion for this album? When The Eagles finally released a new album, they were able to do their own publicity. Who's doing publicity for an artist that's been dead since the 70's? The album will sell, and it will sell relatively well, but it won't hit #1.


Intermission Score : 2 for 3


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SWITCH!


And We're Off For Round 2!

Do they have the album to beat?

4. Watershed by Opeth is the metal album to beat this year

Jeff Modzelewski Fiction: First off, I think that the metal crop this year has been relatively weak. However, I think that Inflikted by the Cavalera Conspiracy, the self-titled Kingdom of Sorrow album or A Sense of Purpose by In Flames can all hold their own with the new Opeth album. Of course either the new Slipknot or Soulfly albums can easily top all of these.

Ben Czjkowski Fact: It's been a weak crowd of albums so far, through the first half of the year; I'll agree with that. However, Watershed has been an album that has delivered on the quality promised when so many others have disappointed or will disappoint (Slipknot, anyone?). I was a bit skeptical about this disc to begin with, but it has grown on me with the epic instrumentals and brooding vocals. Fuck Testament somehow having the best metal album of the year. I think only a few releases this year (36 Crazyfists, Textures. Misery Signals) will even come close to matching the beauty of Watershed.

Score : 2 for 4


5. A Johnny Cash "remix" album featuring dance and hip-hop remixes of his classic songs will be da bomb!

Jeff Modzelewski Fiction: Dear Lord no!


Wait, you needed more? How about hell no, fuck no, god no, please make it stop! This is the legendary Johnny Fuckin' Cash, The Man in Black. There are only a few things that I'm certain of in this world, and one of them is that Johnny Cash is cooler than everyone that is on this upcoming album.

Ben Czajkowski Fiction: I'm sure that dead mother fucker Cash is rolling over in his grave right now. If I ever wish for zombies, it would be for Cash to come back and fuck up the person that thought this idea up. This is like someone saying, let's take Billie Holiday and make her more metal. IT JUST ISN'T NATURAL! I respect Snoop Dogg, but this just doesn't walk the line, it crosses it.

Score : 3 for 5


FACT OR FICTION OPEN CHALLENGE

OK folks… Question 5 is the reader challenge of the week. Head on down to the comment section and let us know what you think of this new dance and hip-hop remix of the classic Johnny Cash songs.

And don't forget to start with Fact or Fiction. It's like Jeopardy, but even easier – Plus it makes sure your comments get noticed. A few great comments will get posted next week!







6. Bono is on point when about ISPs with this quote: "...it is disturbing to see internet service providers and technology companies profit from the so-called 'disintermediation' of the music business when so many music lovers are losing their jobs."

Jeff Modzelewski Fiction: First off, speak fucking English Bono. Disintermediation has no place in that sentence. Second, there are plenty of things that are disturbing with the current state of the music industry. The ISP's are not one of them. It sucks that so many people are downloading albums and not paying for them. But it also sucks that there are so many crappy albums being released and that the state of the music industry has sunk to the point where "I Kissed A Girl" is a huge hit. And, no, not the '95 song by Jill Sobule. Make better albums (not just singles, but albums), and people will by them.

Ben Czajkowski Fiction: I am not quite sure why Bono runs his mouth about this stuff. Doesn't he have some poor kids on an island somewhere that need fed? Okay, so, Bono has no fucking idea what he's talking about. In a previous part of the quote, he calls Radiohead "imaginative" for their In Rainbows stuff, yet Bono's big "imaginative" idea of his own is to tax everyone, even those people who don't illegally obtain or listen to music at all. I would think that ISPs and technology groups would be trying to limit P2P works. Let's take Comcast, for example, which recently limited BitTorrent traffic on its networks. Doesn't it make sense that this inadvertently curbs illegal downloads? There are webhosts, all across the world, which are shutting down trackers left and right. What the fuck is Bono bitching about when outlets like iTunes are on the rise? Yeah, there is still some tweaking left to be done (KILL DRM!), but Internet music distribution has gotten a whole lot better over the last 10 years. (Sidebar, I still cannot understand why I am paying 10$ for a digital download when I can go to the store and buy a CD for the same price. I don't even get the album insert or the cheap fucking jewel case when I buy through iTunes. ) If a tax is ever levied on my Internet for music, I'm going to download every album I can find and never again purchase a CD through a retailer. If I'm going to pay my ISP for music, then I will treat it as a lump sum to go nuts. I would find myself entitled to as much of it as I want. Like a buffet of aural sex.


Final Score : 4 for 6

The Question: You'll be checking out the new Staind album.

Fact: 2

Fiction: 4

Throw in Dan's and Mitch's vote and you get 3 to 6. That means twice as many of you will not be checking out the new Staind album.


Quotable quotes:

I would imagine I've heard better things coming out of the employee bathroom after our annual chili-making competition here at work. So, NO. Aaron Lewis = wannabe Layne Staley (or sub your fave grunge singer) - not that there is anything wrong with that; I just don't see/hear anything groundbreaking. Same old, same old. ~ songremainsinsane


dude there is nothing wrong with staind. they have put out some stuff that was a bit radio friendly but come on, aaron lewis has one of the most powerful voices (go on youtube and find something of theirs live) and the band itself had a lot of talent. like andrew crow up their is just hating on the band because its "cool" to hate on the band ~ President Nixon

Alright, enough fun for one week! A big thanks to Ben and Jeff for jumping in this week and bringing the goods. Also, a big thanks to you for making us a part of your day - And don't forget to hit the comment section and vote on this weeks reader poll! As for me, I'm out of here. so I'll see you this Friday in the The Mosh Pit and we'll see you back here is seven.